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LucyP
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| Posted: Jan 12 2008 at 8:58am | IP Logged
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I SOOOOO don't want to ask our priest!
Does anyone know what the Church teaches about a couple who marry knowing they will never be able to share procreative intimacy?
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: Jan 12 2008 at 9:35am | IP Logged
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It's not a problem, if you mean that one or both is sterile, not if you mean that they plan on using bc forever. IE an elderly couple, well into their infertile years, could certainly marry validly. This holds true with a younger couple, even if that infertility is to to surgical intervention.
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Noreen
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LisaR
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they still say "yes" to lovingly accepting children as God gives them, this might be through adoption, foster parenting, or helping with children's ministries in a special way.
We know a couple who married in their late 30's, they are infertile but have done so much working with VBS, Catechesis, helping families with children in the parish, etc. Everyone views them as an Aunt and Uncle, and it is quite beautiful to see them living out their married vocation in this way.
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Lisa
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many little saints in heaven!
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mellyrose
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We used to host engaged couples in our home for pre-marriage sessions and this came up once with a couple when the woman had a hysterectomy due to cancer. The Church asks married couples to be open to life - and that may not necessarily mean they have to create it themselves and that also doesn't mean they shouldn't experience the unity, grace & love that comes from relations if they can't create life as a direct result of those relations.
As an example, our neighbors across the street married in their mid fifties. Linda has 4 adult children, David had never married before. Shortly after their marriage, things happened where they took in one of their (her) grandchildren, and after a few years they currently have full, legal custody of this child. So, you never know when you might have to be open to the concept of caring for another life! And, you wouldn't know that David wasn't the father of Linda's adult children either -- they are a beautifully blended family!
I remember that the engaged couple we knew had been struggling with this issue, but realized they WOULD be open to life if something happened and they had to care for their nephews. They also realized they really didn't know what the future held and that they had to be open to whatever may be put in their path.
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mathmama
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Perpetual and definitive impotency is one of the 12 impediments to marriage, see Code of Canon Law, Canons 1083-1090. Of course, in our time this is rare.
Beth
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: Jan 12 2008 at 8:19pm | IP Logged
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mathmama wrote:
Perpetual and definitive impotency is one of the 12 impediments to marriage, see Code of Canon Law, Canons 1083-1090. Of course, in our time this is rare.
Beth |
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I have a question about this. it really is pretty rare, with the bar being set as high as "perpetual and definitive."
I understand this as in impediment to marriage, since the 'conjugal embrace' is integral to a valid marriage...but, if one is chaste before marrying, how does one know if there is impotency? I've always wondered about that, maybe it's an imbecilic question. I'm embarrassed to even be asking....
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Noreen
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mathmama
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Well, I guess it is possible for it not to be known, although I don't know for sure. But, I believe for impotency to be perpetual and definitive there must have been some kind of illness or more likely an injury. It is my understanding that most cases of impotency can be handled by modern medicine, or at least there is hope, in which case it isn't perpetual. My guess is, if a man doesn't know himself to be perpetually and definitively impotent, then he isn't. I think in order to have the condition you would have been under a drs care for something much, much more serious than impotency and that it would be more than obvious to the person with the affliction that he has it. Perpetual *and* definitive is a high bar.
Does that make any sense? Of course, I am no expert, and this is just my understanding. I have thought about this some as dh and I teach in pre-cana program and it has been brought up there. Christopher West's book, the Good News about S** and Marriage has info on it.
Beth
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: marriage and infertility
