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Erin
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| Posted: Aug 23 2005 at 2:56am | IP Logged
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I have been thinking over the idea of generosity of spirit in our children the past few days.
What do I mean? I'm refering to a willingness to go that extra mile for another. To put someone else before oneself.
How do we foster this? After much thought I've come to the conclusion that it has to be taught. Giving a good example is not enough. Genorisity of Spirit is not produced by osmosis but must be done on a practical level.
For example, when a child gets a drink to think of others and ask if anyone else would like one. When they get up from the table offer to take anothers plate. We must start in the small things so that when they are needed on a larger scale they are happy to pitch in. ie. when mum is sick. My mother always taught us to put everyone else first and yourself last. (I still hear her say it  )
Anyhow just my thoughts as the topic is current here at present.
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Erin
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Molly Smith
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This reminds me of something I saw on the Duggar family website that they practice in their household: J.O.Y.--Jesus, Others, Yourself.
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Molly Smith in VA
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Laura
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I don't have too much to add, but this is a very important topic.
First, Molly...can you give us a link to the Duggar website? I would like to read what they practice in their household when it comes to this.
I think that to a certain extent generosity of spirit is something a child is born with naturally, or something that we do indeed need to foster or force. 
I, sadly, do not have it naturally. I need to make a conscious effort to be more generous with others. My oldest son on the other hand has been extremely generous from birth! He has always done the examples you mentioned above and I have not had to teach him this.
In order to foster it in my children I must be sure that I am setting the example. Again, at times this can be hard as I am not naturally generous. Don't get the wrong idea I am not horrible, but you know what I mean!
Now, obviously having children has helped to foster this in me better then anything else could have!!!!
JMJ,
Laura
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Erin
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Laura,
I agree that some people do have this more naturally than others. It just seems to be easier for them, they also seem to be more aware without being told of ways to think of others. they have an inate desire to 'do unto others'.
Having children does seem to bring out the best in us We sure are extended. I agree that setting a good example is a start, but after a few things lately it has been brought home to me that a generous mother does not necessarily ensure generous children.
some children are totally oblivious to certain things and they need to be pointed out to them constantly. Some children need prodding to think of others, overcome their laziness or whatever is hindering them.
I've been discussing this issue with my sister(single and 25), we both agree that this is an area in which our mother excelled at. Sister gets pretty shocked when visitng the homes of some of her friends. The other day she visited a friend and the daughters, her friend,28 and her sister 21 just sat there whilst the mother cooked the breakfast. When my sister offered to set the table the mother was quite shocked  So sad.
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Erin
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Laura
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| Posted: Aug 24 2005 at 7:34am | IP Logged
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"some children are totally oblivious to certain things and they need to be pointed out to them constantly. Some children need prodding to think of others, overcome their laziness or whatever is hindering them. "
Yes, this is true! I have a few of those.
Even though I am often not satisfied with the level of generosity in our family, others compliment us on it.
At first I would laugh when they would and say that I didn't see it. Then I began to realize that they are pretty good to one another and others compared to many families "in the Real World" (this term came again and again in the book Don't Drink the Holy Water that I read after having Naomi last week!) I think that larger families also help naturally to foster generosity out of sheer necessity! People are amazed that our children help one another, communicate with eachother, and seem to enjoy eachother's company. And yes, the children must help mom as well! Again, some of my children are much better at doing all of this then others. I've got 2 naturals, and 4 who need a little reminding!
JMJ,
Laura in Va
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Kim F
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http://www.jimbob.info/faq.html
I so cannot keep up with the forum these days. Just able to browse here and there. I saw this thread though and happened to have the Duggar's bkmarked already so here it is. : )
Wonderful thoughts! Going the second mile is a big theme these days. Which is why I can't read my mail - agh! ; )
Kim
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teachingmom
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| Posted: Sept 10 2005 at 11:40pm | IP Logged
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And I only found this topic tonight because Kim bumped it up with her comment.
Erin wrote:
I have been thinking over the idea of generosity of spirit in our children the past few days.
What do I mean? I'm refering to a willingness to go that extra mile for another. To put someone else before oneself.
How do we foster this? |
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I realize that you were primarily talking about generosity within the family and among siblings. But I have an example of how a different sort of generosity can be fostered in those not necessarily naturally generous. I read somewhere (maybe on this board?) about someone's children holding a bakesale for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. I thought it was a great idea that would allow even young children to feel like they were making a difference. When I stopped at the grocery store with all the children yesterday, I noticed they have our favorite brownie mix (Betty Crocker, for those who are curious ) on sale for $1 per box. I mentioned the idea to the girls of selling brownies in the neighborhood and at their sister's soccer game on the weekend to make money to send to Catholic Charities for Hurricane relief. They liked the idea, so we bought about 10 boxes.
Part of me was hesitant to suggest this activity. I guess I felt that it was only admirable for kids to do something like this if they had come up with the idea themselves. It felt a bit forced, since I had suggested it.
But I am so glad I did. The girls spent last night making three batches of brownies. My oldest generously did almost all of the cleanup on her own. They set out this morning with a large poster and a wagon, going door to door selling brownies. They had figured that they could make a bit over $10 if they sold all the brownies for a quarter each. An hour or so later, they returned, excitedly reporting that they had sold only about half the brownies but had made $17. They had lots of stories of this neighbor or that taking only a few brownies and giving them far more money than they were worth. It was a great lesson for them to see the generosity of our neighbors. I pointed out that people tend to be extra generous if they know it's for a good cause.
They then made two more batches of brownies and continued through the neighborhood. They brought the extras to my 5yo's soccer game to sell. In the end they made around $43 dollars (with $5 worth of brownie mix donated by me). They want to do it again next weekend.
At one point earlier, my 7yo came to me and glowingly reported, "Uncle Mark says that you can feed a family oatmeal for breakfast for a week with $10!" I could tell that his comment made their work and the difference it could make to someone very tangible. I am so glad that I suggested this to them. They can feel good about doing something positive for the people who are suffering. And hopefully they will remember the generous example of other adults and be generous with their own money too.
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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MEBarrett
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Irene:
That is a beautiful story.
You should be really proud of their enthusiasm and generosity. I think that the whole thing wa your idea was a wise move on your part. They may not have thought of this on their own this time but your fostering this spirit of generosity pretty much guarantees that in the future their first thought will be "how can I help?"
Good job momma! 
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Mary Ellen
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Topic: Fostering a Generosity of Spirit
