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LisaR
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| Posted: Sept 19 2007 at 10:55am | IP Logged
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Our son Thomas lives and breathes soccer. We are not sure where this gene came from! He dribbles a ball under his desk while he does his work, slept with a soccer ball from age 1 until recently, and plays/practices on his own for at least a few hours each day. He is so driven! (and with 5 kids, and a limited budget, and a dh who works on Sats, I'm not so...)
here is the problem:
Thomas has been playing/training under an amazing Portuguese Father/Son, and seems to thrive under a challenging and "strict" program. (silence from the sidelines, no treats, no parent boards or votes, basically a tough but loving dictatorship). However, many parents want soccer to be "more encouraging" or "more fun" etc, and so Thomas's team is constantly in a state of flux.
I admire all of the Coaches (all European/Middle Eastern) and they treat Thomas and the other boys like family, just not warm and fuzzy.
It is hard to be with a group however that is constantly in a state of change, with families reactingand pulling out,loss of team unity, etc.
Thomas was asked to be a part of another club. One with much more parent involvement, organization, etc and with really commited and consistent teams.
Should we switch him so that for the long term he is with a stable group, or since he personally is thriving under the Euro Program, leave him there even though some of the kids tend to drop out, leaving the team not so stable?
I wish he could do individual skills and such with the Euro group, but play on the well organized team, but that would not be politically possible 
I can't talk to others about it around here, it is kind of a touchy subject.
Oh and financially, they are about even- the Euro Program men have waived training fees for us and ask just for payment for the tournament fees, and we would get a scholarship of about the same with the Parent run Club...
thanks for any input.
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Lori B
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| Posted: Sept 19 2007 at 12:48pm | IP Logged
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We've been through this with our kids' hockey. My vote would be to stay with the coaches you are happy with- in the long run, it's the coach who will make the difference in your child's attitude towards and enjoyment of the game.
For example, the year my 12yod (then 10yo) had a great team but a lousy coach was almost her last year playing. Last year, she had a great coaching staff, but some lousy kids on the team- she never thought twice about returning this year.
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: Sept 19 2007 at 1:02pm | IP Logged
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I agree, stick with the coaches program you are happy with.
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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folklaur
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| Posted: Sept 19 2007 at 1:04pm | IP Logged
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Also -- with 5 kids and a dh who works Sats -- the parent-led team might expect a lot more direct parent involvement -- and do you have the time & energy for that?
It seems that the coaches you have currently take the game very seriously - as does your son. I'd probably stick with the coaches I was with.
Does your son have an opinion about it?
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LisaR
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| Posted: Sept 19 2007 at 1:44pm | IP Logged
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yes, he wants to stay where he is at- yet he is really disappointed that most of the KIDS do not take it seriously as he does.
In the other Club, the kids are all really into it, but maybe there is a bit more of the "living vicariously through your kids" attitude that Tim and I see as parents, but Thomas has not caught on to that.
Lastly, and I know this sounds really really far out there when I think it/type it outloud, the Catholic kids for the most part end up with this other Club, and the Catholic High School here wins the State title every year (or in the least comes in 2nd) So Thomas already has hung out with the High School team as a "mascot" ...and dreams about playing on the team.
most of the kids with the Euro group are public or private independant school kids...
well, I think deep down we should stick it out where we are at for awhile longer. I am praying that we will "know" when and if we have to leave, and we will have a concrete reason to do so.
thank you for letting me think it through here.
Either the program Tom is with will get stronger, or it will totally fall apart, and then it will be obvious.
(side note- the Euro group used to be the only Club in town, but the Portuguese owners sold the Centre and it all and wanted to start from scratch because they did not want all of the parent input/pressures) This was in 2002 so really it is still all trying to settle out here...)
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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LisaR
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| Posted: Sept 24 2007 at 7:05am | IP Logged
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***UPDATE***!!!!!
Thomas had a big tournament this past weekend- one in which we were not sure if there would even be enough of a "team" for them to compete- and there was talk of having to pull out.
The owner/head of the Club told all of us that he is now the boy's head coach, and he pulled up 4 players from a year younger.
He met with the boys as a team and also spoke to each of them individually as well, and asked them to really listen to him- and him alone, and that they would do fantastic.
Well.....Their team WON the entire TOURNAMENT!!!!
This was such a miracle (it has never been about "winning" with this club, which I am fine with).
What a confirmation that we need to stick with this Coach and this program. The boys seemed so relaxed, attentive, and did so well together. I am now much more hopeful not to worry about the "team" as much as the training/trainers.
They even beat out the number 6th ranked club in the US! (what a heartstopper- tied game went into 5 min overtime!!)
We also had a chance to compete and observe up close the "other" team/Club. I was not pleased with what I saw in general. Pushy parents, one of the coaches totally lost it when they lost, etc. I suppose that is what can happen when the parents are more "in charge" ?
So, thank you for your advice and for hearing me out here. !!!
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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chicken lady
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| Posted: Sept 24 2007 at 7:16am | IP Logged
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Congratulations Thomas, way to go 
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: Sept 24 2007 at 7:21am | IP Logged
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Lisa,
I just got your email (I don't use aol regularly any more). Sounds like things are working out just fine!
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Soccer Situation
