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SusanJ
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Joined: May 25 2007
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Aug 31 2007 at 3:44pm | IP Logged
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Our family has been living in the city for three years, and my dh and I really feel called to urban living for a variety of reasons. We encounter a lot of resistance to this idea from a lot of quarters. Some think it's too dangerous, some that it's too expensive, some that our kids need a yard, some think it's just weird, some that's it's inconvenient, some that the necessary space limitations are impossible (i.e. city homes are too small for big families).
I don't know quite what I'm looking for, but I know there are at least a few urban moms out there, and maybe some formerly urban moms who have chosen to live elsewhere. I'd love to hear some thoughts from those of you who live in the city, or who used to live in the city but decided to move. Why? What were the good/bad points? I don't know . . . anything you've thought about, I'd like to hear.
I may turn this into some kind of writing project--for now I'm just blogging about it. I won't use your thoughts elsewhere without your permission. Thanks!
Susan
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Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
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Lisbet
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Joined: Feb 07 2006
Location: Michigan
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| Posted: Aug 31 2007 at 3:58pm | IP Logged
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We live smack in the city and I really, REALLY dislike it. The convience is the only positive thing I can think of right now.
Our neighborhood is not large family friendly or homeschooling friendly. We've had CPS called on us simply for the number of children we have. We have a tiny tiny yard and no running off steam room for the children. (esp. all these boys!!) The size of our home is just fine, the yard though, not at all.
We had our house on the market for about 9 months but the way real estate is in our area right now, the chances of selling are slim. Our goal is to be out in a rural area within 2 years, hopefully much sooner.
FWIW, I grew up in a rural area with lots of woods, grass, water and room to roam. I've lived here in the city for nearly 14 years now, and I've never liked it.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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asplendidtime
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Joined: Dec 14 2005
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Aug 31 2007 at 4:03pm | IP Logged
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Dear Susan,
I grew up in the country on a hobby farm, married a city fella, then lived in the city for 7 very happy years, not in a suburb, but an urban part of the city! We loved it, we loved being able to do so many culturally enriching things, regular visits to the art gallery, different parks that had art displays around town, plays and activities which were so much fun.
We did decide that the grass was greener in the country and decided to rent a large farm house in the country. Guess what? We hated it! Yes the children had more room to play, but we were lonely! We missed all of the fun stuff that used to be at our fingertips!
Country living means a lot of driving. So more "town days" where you try to cram everything into a townday, and then are so miserable and tired, you don't want to do that again for at least a few weeks.
Of course dh's drive time to and from work increased, and we didn't love that, esp. in winter, it made his long hours even longer. We didn't love that. It soon seemed not worth it.
Then we moved again, and this time landed in a suburb, same experience, nothing to do, you had to drive for everything, everyone was terribly crammed together and there weren't really any parks or anything.  We missed our little house in the city!
Currently we live in a big, old house in a largish town, we have one of the biggest back yards around, so we feel we have the best of both worlds right now. But we don't own the house and are just renting.
All that to say, I enjoy being an urban mom!
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Rebecca~Mama to
Noah 17,
Katie 16,
Mary 14,
Tim 13,
Jonah 12,
Josh 10,
Zoe 9,
Will 7,
Peter 6,
Laura-Mae 4,
Emily-Joy 2,
Genevieve & Gabriella 1
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MaryatHome
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Joined: April 03 2007
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| Posted: Aug 31 2007 at 5:06pm | IP Logged
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I live in the city, in a historic district.
We have experienced many of the same prejudices. Our son attends our city's Jesuit high school, and some of his friends weren't allowed to come to our home because of the perceptions of our neighborhood. It is really quite sad.
DH grew up in this city, just a few blocks from our current home, while I grew up in suburbs here and in another midwestern city. I like living here for the most part.
I think that living here has given our children a much better appreciation for what they have, and what others don't, much more so than many of the boys with whom he attends school. He works at the local food kitchen, and sees many clients walking there through our neighborhood. Others from his school come for a day, and "feel good about helping." But they have no real appreciation for who the people are, and why they are there.
We live here for many reasons. The drive to DH's work is unbelievably short. The housing is MUCH more affordable. We have easy access to cultural and recreational events. Our home is solid and well-built (stone foundation, brick, slate roof, etc.--things just not found any more).
On the societal level, we believe strongly in not contributing to sprawl; we don't need new roads or utilities to support us. We aren't contributing to further exploitation of natural resources through new construction. We are a witness to our city's history. And not to sound too full of ourselves, we are a stable family in an area sorely in need of them. Our family is heavily involved in Scouting, and DH is Scoutmaster for a Troop of boys, many of whom don't have stable father figures. Sure, he could come in from the burbs to do the same thing, but it means more that he is "here," and not a "do-gooder."
Are there things I would change? Certainly. But we have had a wonderful experience here, and I am glad we have stayed.
Mary
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Julia
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| Posted: Aug 31 2007 at 9:39pm | IP Logged
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Well, except for a brief stint, I've always lived in cities.
I live in a large city, within walking distance of my parents. My mother also grew up in my neighborhood.
We have lots of public transportation (I can't drive - my family never owned a car!) Terrific access to lots of museums, theater, opera, galleries, you name it. Our neighborhood also has some great parks. My son sees, plays with, and lives alongside people of many colors, classes and creeds.
Of course there are challenges. There's going to be a lot of explaining about how "our family is different." There will be rules his peers won't have. Almost nobody here homeschools, and the few that do are not religious. But I consider all of these challenges as positive. They will strengthen my faith and family in the long run.
I especially agree with Mary's points: not contributing to sprawl, and being a "witness" for families and kids in less than ideal circumstances.
There's a vitality here that I couldn't leave.
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Mary G
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| Posted: Aug 31 2007 at 9:47pm | IP Logged
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The funny thing -- I always THINK I'd love to live out in the country, on a farm or lovely old historic house -- but when I think back on the places I've lived that I've really liked it's been urban! I grew up IN San Francisco, rode the streetcars/ cablecars and buses everywhere we couldn't walk or ride...had a public library, two parks, police station and small groceries within a 4 block radius ... this is what I love and I want....
In an urban center, you can EASILY get to museums, library, stores, theater, etc without having to get in the car and make a big deal ... I love this!
Someday, maybe dh and I will retire to a one-room cabin where I'll have WIFI so I can surf the internet and LOTS of space for my knitting; someday when I won't need to go to the library or museums or theater to get my "culture". But for now, yep I'm an urbanite! 
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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LucyP
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| Posted: Sept 01 2007 at 3:21pm | IP Logged
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Well, we live in the city. Our city is fairly small, and well known for having "sink estates" and also for having so many medieval buildings. I guess if I have to live in a city this is a good one.
Things that are better than the rural village where I grew up/the remote country where I lived when first married:
* more space - we have parks here and in the country the land is all farms and we had to struggled over ploughed up footpaths
* more opportunities for social life in walking distance - not that we take them up, but they are there
* more choice in churches - though sadly the choice is all in the different shades of protestantism
* lots of free places to go that seem like an outing - the churches and cathedrals, the parks, the rivers, the heath etc.
* more choice of shops - no rip off merchants such as I remember from my youth
Things that are worse than the rural village where I grew up/the remote country where I lived when first married:
* not knowing people
* crime
* the sad, bad and mad people who pass within feet of my door dozens and dozens of times a day
* the dirt and noise and pollution
I feel we are oddly more shut off and anonymous here in the city. There are more people, and sometimes not knowing that everyone who sees you knows all about you and your family is nice, but there isn't a feeling of community in our neighbourhood.
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: Sept 02 2007 at 6:17pm | IP Logged
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I was raised "in the city" of Louisville, KY. While we technically lived within the city limits, it was really like the suburbs. Now I live in the suburbs of Chicago, which makes Louisville look like Horse Cave.
And what is Horse Cave? Horse Cave is the small town that my husband grew up in right down the street from Mammoth Cave. It has about six fast food places, two eat-in restaurants, and one nationally known theater; oh, and it also has a hotel with wigwam shaped cabins. When I first visited, it was shock compared to what I was used to. And I definitely knew that I did not want to spend the rest of my days there; thankfully, neither did my husband.
One of my dear friends once said that it was a shame that with all of the community colleges out there my husband had to get a job at one outside Chicago. Then I had to explain that we only applied for positions that were near a large city and we actually chose Chicago over a position near Nashville.
Chicago is just a much better fit for us. My husband is a huge sports fan, so he is in heaven with all of the professional teams so close. We've slowly been checking out the various museums downtown. It's nice living somewhere with so many homeschoolers and businesses that offer special events for homeschoolers. And while we don't have a yard (we live in a townhouse), we are fortunate to live in a town with an amazing parks department and free performing arts center. And we love the racial and ethnic diversity and that being around people with different skin colors and cultural backgrounds will be more natural for our children than it was for us growing up.
I think we would consider living downtown if it wasn't so expensive and far for my husband to commute. (I know that he'd love to live in Wrigleyville.) There is this perception out there among a lot of people raised in the country that the cities are full of danger at every turn. My mother-in-law used to be scared to death just of Louisville. Now that she's been living up here for three years (it's amazing how grandchildren can help you overcome your fears),though, you could not pay her to move back to Horse Cave (unless her grandchildren were moving there). And she only takes advantage of the variety at the grocery store.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Urban moms
