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Bridget
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This is sort of a spin off from Elizabeth's last post on the routines thread and Kim's post on Catholic womanhood. What ways have you found to show your Dh your love, admiration and respect? To honor him and make his life happy?
I'm sure 'marital relations' ranks at the top for most men.  But what else?
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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teachingmyown
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Trust his judgement. Even when you do not agree!
Don't worry or to complain about money to him. He has enough on his shoulders and it is painful to him to think that he is not providing well enough and causing you anxiety.
Beyond "marital relations", show that you are attracted to him. Hug him first, smile across the room, etc.
Those are the top things that I have found. Now I just have to perfect them.
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Molly
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Patty
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Put him first. It's easy for us homeschooling moms to put the kids first, because they are around us all day and we are so focused on their needs, educational and otherwise. If we have a large family, that pulls us in several directions. Don't forget that it was your husband you married...he comes first! Have regular date nights (these don't have to be expensive) and quiet times to have uninterrupted conversation with him. My dh and I enjoy taking walks together.
Oh, also, tell him what a good dad he is and that you appreciate everything he does for the kids! I am preaching to myself here!
Patty
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juliecinci
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Touching him spontaneously - hand holding, rubbing his neck when he's at the computer, hugging him from behind when he does the dishes.
Going out to movies late at night. We discovered that once our oldest was big enough to stay with the kids, the easiest way to have a date night was to put the little ones to bed (as usual) and then go out to a late movie. It also felt more romantic than the matinees we used to go to.
Doing things together. My dh loves it when we go to the grocery store alone together, or when we do yard work at the same time, or when we BBQ outside and all work on the meal together.
Julie
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Julie
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Leonie
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I buy my dh something - usually something not practical, something frivolous, something I know he would not buy for himself.
Last night, after Mass, it was a big block of chocolate - just for him!
I told him he didn't have to share it with anyone - but he did! 
Leonie in Sydney
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Angie Mc
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When he comes home from work (or the airport, or Home Depot, etc.  ,) everyone stop everything and welcome him home with a smile. (Avoid the temptation to dump frustrations or jump on the To Do list.)
Make his favorite meal often.
Support him when he travels away from home by holding the fort down with calm.
Use terms of endearment. I call my husband Honey and Handsome. (My mother calls my dad "Boog" which still brings a smile to his face...it goes back to their dating days and started as a joke but stuck...short for boogey woogey shnookum wookums .)
Zip the lip.
Hmmm...makes we want to go hug my Honey!
Love,
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Angie Mc
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Martha
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I'm resurrecting this thread because I need it and because I thought it rather sad that there were only 5 responses!
I had forgotten a MAJOR thing that I feel all husbands need and it was hammerred home yesterday on our 15th anniversary.
Husbands desperately need to know they can make their wives happy, not content - HAPPY.
I need to show happiness more with my husband and in our lives, even if I have to fake it. (Not that he's not a great guy - he is great! just that my emotions are my fault - not his.)
Angie - "Zip the lip." but very true. Men, even men who love us dearly, really don't want to know our every thought and feeling or even most of them!
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Martha
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KellyJ
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Martha wrote:
| Husbands desperately need to know they can make their wives happy, not content - HAPPY. |
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I agree, Martha. This is one thing that my husband is vocal about: he wants to know that he's making me *happy*.
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Fuzzy
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My DH really appreciates when I LISTEN to what he is saying about his work. He has a complicated job, and it is very hard for me to be able to focus when we talk (since we have kids that go crazy when he comes home). But I know that he loves it when I remember things he has mentioned.
My DH loves the way I fold his clothes, especially his undershirts, because they all fit in his drawers! Something so silly, but I try to remember to do it, so he is able to find clothes when he needs them.
Make him feel like he is the Man of the House by allowing his input and perspective on many things. I have a tendency to be controlling, and I need to let him in!
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 Fuzzy
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SuzanneG
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Make an effort to plan his gym-time into the days/weeks.
Greet him when he comes home.
Ask him if there is anything special he wants to do over the weekend and then plan it in.
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Suzanne in ID
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Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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stefoodie
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Thanks for the bump! This is the first time I've seen this thread.
Some things that have worked for us:
Never ever criticize him in front of other people, and especially not behind his back. (This doesn't mean I don't ever talk to really close friends or my confessor or spiritual advisor about him, but I try to keep the criticism to a minimum).
If I disagree with him on a parenting issue, the discussion is held in our room, not in front of the kids. This doesn't work out perfectly and it doesn't mean we don't ever contradict each other at the dinner table, but it does mean that the kids see how we treat each other with respect.
I also wake up early to pack his lunch box, so he can have a nutritious, hot meal without having to use the microwave.
Talk about him often to the kids, in glowing terms. Provides a great example for both girls and boys -- the girls' "standards" are raised (to the point I sometimes worry they won't find a guy as awesome as their dad), and the boys are always given something to aspire to. Especially when he does something nice for me, I point out that this is a desirable trait -- the girls then see some things they might want to remember when they're considering a life partner, and the boys learn how to treat a woman right. At the same time, the girls learn that praise and appreciation go a long way towards having a happy, harmonious marriage.
I personally still have to work on humility, submission and zipping my lip though (thanks for the suggestions, ladies!) -- we're not perfect, but we keep trying!
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stef
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Cay Gibson
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Michele Q. posted a wonderful blog post at the beginning of January:
"My husband is long gone as his work starts early and this too is another reason I want to rise early; to be there as he leaves for the day to serve his family and to show him that I appreciate his sacrifice for us. I also want him to know that I take my role as wife and mother seriously and know its importance to the family dynamic. This isn’t to say that rising later means I’m not serious, but in many ways it does send a subtle message and I know from experience that it can set the tone for the day in a way that just isn’t productive to the family-centered life we try to cultivate here."
You can read the whole post here:
Morning Tea
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Jenny
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Another way to show respect for him is recognize the amount of work he does for the family. When the children thank me for ____, I point out that it is b/c dad works so hard for us that we are able to have _____. Or I make sure they understand the reason I am able to stay home with them is because dad works very hard. I also try to be aware of my spending. I may purchase a few books for $xx, and to my husband, he sees that in terms of work; he had to put in xxx number of hours, in the cold and dark for $xx.
Physical touch, not just marital relations, are a biggie I think. This is where it gets hard for me sometimes b/c I spend all day, (thanks to my husband) being physically touched by 5 different people. He does not have that physical contact and craves it, not only from the children, but from me as well, when he gets home.
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Chris' wife and momma of 7. My blog: The Littlest Way--Bible Journaling, Inspiring Bible Quotes, Daily Affirmations, Prayer Journaling & photography
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Anne
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Reading the book The Power of a Praying Wife is a good way to begin. All relationships have there seasons and although it is not a Catholic book, the author has some very good prayers that can help facilitate a nice novena or daily prayer time. I am saying this for myself as well. I have not read that book in a while and I think my prayers may help my dh stresses at work.
Thanks for the bump  Good topic!
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Anne in TN
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Lisbet
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Martha, you hit the nail on the head with the happy thing! My husband loves to make me laugh, so I try to laugh, often, even when it's not the funniest pun in the world!
My husband also appreciates security - the security of knowing his children are home with his wife, safe, warm, loved, and (somewhat) educated!
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MommyD
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Bridget wrote:
| I'm sure 'marital relations' ranks at the top for most men. |
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This is so important!! Not only should we try very hard to never be "too tired" but we need to initiate things regularly .
Melissa
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Lara Sauer
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One thing that I try to do is to include myself in his interests, even when they are not particularly mine. For instance, if he asks me to watch a late football game with him, or the movie "Patton," even if I would rather stuff my mouth full of dirty socks, I just smile and say yes! Women need conversation, but men sometimes only need physical presence (hence their love of fishing! )
I also remember to verbally thank him for asking me to marry him. He didn't need to. I am sure there would have been plenty of other women who would willingly have said yes! But instead he chose me, and I for one will be forever grateful.
I also thank him for getting up everyday, particulary when it is cold and rainy/snowy and going to work without complaint. What a gift that is to me.
I tell him he is cute, that he has gorgeous blue eyes and that I love it when he wears blue jeans and does the heavy work around the house. I also tell him how strong I think he is and that he is a great dad and that I hope our sons grow up to be just like him.
I also laugh at his jokes!
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theNetSmith
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As a husband myself, I must say that I approve of all the suggestions made above. Reading of your efforts to please your husbands is very encouraging.
Please do not view this as disrespectful or chauvinistic on MY part... just thought I would interject a little related humor... my, how times have changed:
*hugs* to all the wonderful wives out there!
-T
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Pray and forgive.
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stefoodie
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"or even if he stays out all night"??? What?
"You have no right to question him" 
Many of the others ARE spot on and timeless though.
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stef
mom to five
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Martha
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well I may not have the right to question him, but it'd take an act of God to prevent it if he stayed out all night and a very diligent guardian angel to protect his backside.
thank you for the ideas ladies, keep them comming.
I'm going to work extra hard on making progress on this
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Martha
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Showing love and respect to our husbands
