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Kristin
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| Posted: June 27 2007 at 9:01pm | IP Logged
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Hi all! I'm wondering if you would share with me the methods / resources you have used to teach your children about strangers and general safety concepts such as what to do if they get lost. Children's books? Videos? etc.
TIA for your help!
Kristin
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Bunch 'o Honey to my Honey Bunch and Mama to five - Noah 10y  , Rose 8y  , Dominic 2.5 y  , Oliver 16m 
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guitarnan
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| Posted: June 27 2007 at 9:58pm | IP Logged
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We read the Berenstain Bears book about talking with strangers to our kids when they were about 4. It presents the concept that most people are good, but because there are sometimes people who are "bad apples" we must be careful around strangers.
When they were older I casually mentioned a couple of times a year that they could always be sure that I would believe them if they told me that someone was behaving incorrectly toward them (simpler language, though). This was a suggestion I received during my Navy child care certification training (we had to do a refresher course on child protection/abuse recognition every year). It is very important to let children know that you are always going to listen to them and believe them, and to give them examples of other trusted adults (Grandma, etc.) they can turn to if you aren't immediately available.
It's sad that we have to worry about this stuff, but we do.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Dawnie
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| Posted: June 27 2007 at 11:16pm | IP Logged
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Kristin,
I have to share what my parents did to teach me about strangers...
I was one of those children who had absolutely NO fear of strangers. I talked to EVERYONE, wherever my parents and I went. So, my parents talked to me about strangers, telling me NEVER to get into a car with a stranger, or accept candy of gifts from a stranger. I listened to their little lecture and then said, "But if the stranger says that he's going to take me to Granny's house, then I'll go!" 
So, my parents made up a character named Suzy Maria and made up stories about her. Suzy Maria was always getting herself kidnapped by running off with strangers. Fortunately, Suzy Maria's father was a police officer and always came to Suzy Maria's rescue before anything REALLY bad could happen to her. My parents made up stories about strangers who kidnapped Suzy Maria by telling her they were taking her to her grandmother's house, by tempting her with a new puppy, and every other trick a stranger might use to get a child to go with him. I enjoyed the stories as part of our bedtime ritual and got the point of them very quickly--DO NOT GO ANYWHERE WITH A STRANGER NO MATTER WHAT!
Dawn
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Bella
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| Posted: June 27 2007 at 11:24pm | IP Logged
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I highly recommend the book _Protecting The Gift...Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe(and Parents Sane)_by Gavin De Becker.
It is a book for *you* to read. It is a very hard book to get through, but you will be happy when you've finished it. I know the Popcaks refer to it.
Anyway, it is a book that teaches you to teach your child to listen to his/her self,their *gut* feeling(Holy Spirit...Guardian Angel) and subtle red-flag signs parents can be aware of. It is a book for the parent-not the child.
I wish Mr. De Becker would write a book aimed at young and older kids.
HTH.
Warmly,
Christy
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Kristin
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| Posted: June 28 2007 at 3:38am | IP Logged
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I am actually currently listening to Protecting the Gift on audio book and so far it has been fantastic. I heard about it on a home preschool yahoo group and am glad to hear it mentioned here as well. I also appreciate knowing that the Popcaks refer to it. I wish I would have heard about this one when I first became a parent!
I have the Berenstain Bears book sitting on our counter waiting for dh and I to read through before we read to ds. Once again, I head about this through a yahoo group and am glad to hear it endorsed here.
Dawnie, I appreciate you sharing that story. Neither of our children is like you were as a child, but it's a good idea to file away for future use if necessary! 
Looking forward to hearing what others have to say on this topic!
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Bunch 'o Honey to my Honey Bunch and Mama to five - Noah 10y , Rose 8y , Dominic 2.5 y , Oliver 16m
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SeaStar
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A local karate studio here presents a program called "Stranger Danger" to schools and anyone else who is interested. We had the program at our neighborhood clubhouse, and it was excellent.
Some tiips my kids learned:
If a stranger is trying to pick you up/grab you, first defense is to scream and run away, of course, but you need to have a plan of where to run (group of adults, towards the street- NOT into a secluded area or someplace like an alleyway). A good thing to scream is: YOU"RE NOT MY DAD! HELP! YOU"RE NOT MY MOM!
IF the stranger does get ahold of the child, the best thing to do is drop to the floor and grab the stranger around the feet and hang on for dear life, screaming all the while. It is very hard for the stranger to move or pick up a child who is a dead weight wrapped around their feet.
If the child is then able to break away (if the stranger falls, for example), then the best thing to do is run away like a crab. That means scooting away from the stranger via "crab walk"- on hands and feet, going backwards. That way the child is able to move away and yet still see the stranger. Also the child can easily and forcefully kick the stranger if another attempt is made to pick him up. The child should still be screaming all the while. At this point most strangers just give up- too much work to get this child.
At the workshop, the kids had a lot of fun practicing all these moves. We learned that it is key to review these techniques periodically. Also, talk to your kids about who and what is a stranger periodically- so they won't forget and can't be fooled. Play games such as: what if a nice lady comes up and says that Dad told her to pick you up today. He said it was OK for you to go with her. What would you do? Or: a man says he needs help finding his lost puppy. Should you help him?
Any safety programs given at school can be repeated for a homeschool group if you ask- most organizations are very willing to do this.
The only down side for us: now my kids use the stranger technique on me. Sometimes if I try to pick up my 2 yo, and she doesn't want to go, she drops down and clings to my legs. Let me tell you- this is a very effective technique- I can't move without falling, and I certainly can't pick her up!
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Lorri
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| Posted: June 28 2007 at 8:31am | IP Logged
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SeaStar wrote:
Any safety programs given at school can be repeated for a homeschool group if you ask- most organizations are very willing to do this.
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What sorts of organizations do these programs?
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Lorri
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SeaStar
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| Posted: June 28 2007 at 6:19pm | IP Logged
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Police departments, fire departments- in my case, a karate studio. I would also try contacting your local rec. department or school for leads. HTH
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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CatholicMommy
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| Posted: June 28 2007 at 8:59pm | IP Logged
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One tip I recently heard that I plan to teach my son: if you're in a store or someplace similar and someone tries to take you, and the above techniques can't be done or aren't working for whatever reason, feel free to knock everything off the shelves while still kicking, fighting, yelling. Either the newly created mess will trip up the attacker or at least give him/her a pause to re-think taking THIS child.
As far as techniques to teach safety in various areas: we'll be doing lots of role-playing, visiting police officers, developing code words for specific situations, maintaining honest and open communication (I want to do a suggestion I once heard about having a set time each week for each child to say whatever they want, without judgment, punishment/discipline - just speak their minds).
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Topic: Teaching about Safety
