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joann10
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I don't know if this is the right topic area but here it goes.
After three days of seeing drs and having tests and seeing more drs, I am scheduled for surgery on May 10.
I will be having a total hyterectomy with an abdominal inscision(in the hospital 3-4 days and a 6 week recovery)
I have a very long medical history and many surgeries.
My littles and bigs are very nervous. I can really sense it in them. I am not sure how I feel right now as it has come about so quickly.
I have had very poor surgical outcomes before, ending up in the hospital for weeks instead of days. I am sure that is in the kids minds-it certainly is in my mind.
What do I do to prepare them? What about school? I am having a hard time concentrating right now myself, so I don't know how good I will be at school. What about the "little house".
Hopefully I will calm down a little and find my answers, but in the past everything has been a real emergency, I have never had to wait almost 2 weeks for a surgery before. 
If anyone has been in this situation before maybe you could give me advice, especially where the kids are concerned.
Thank-you
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Mary G
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Oh Gosh! Joann -- I have no advice to offer but can offer you my prayers ... God has a way of making all work out....hugs and prayers, dear!
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MaryG
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my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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cathhomeschool
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Texas Bluebonnets
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| Posted: April 27 2007 at 1:46pm | IP Logged
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No advice, but more prayers from me too. (And I have been praying for you since you posted in We Pray to the Lord.)
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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joann10
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| Posted: April 27 2007 at 1:51pm | IP Logged
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This is also the first year in a while that we have reported our schooling to the local school district.
I worry about what they will think if the schoolwork starts to slide right now. 
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Bridget
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You know we'll be praying for you, Joann.
Go to the library and load up on educational movies and new books they can read or you can read to them once you get home. Have math worksheets and practice things they can do on their own.
Make a work plan and implement it now, while you can supervise. Dishes, laundry and meals. Make a one week rotating menu that the kids can do completely. Include a shopping list and keep it simple. Make sure they only need to shop at one store. In your plan, include things like taking meat out to defrost the night before. The kind of thinking ahead steps that moms do from experience.
Assign a big kid to a little kid, the same pair for your whole recovery. Make sure the big one knows how to change the diaper or help potty the little one. How to get snacks and drinks, put them in the car seat properly and help them brush teeth and take baths. Help them make a list of ideas to entertain their charge.
I'm sure you know and do most of this stuff. I am just thinking out loud about how to keep the house running without you. It won't be perfect, but they will be great.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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kingvozzo
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Joann, I don't have any experience in this area, but I will be praying for you!
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Noreen
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Bookswithtea
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Do you have any girlfriends or older children who could step in and cover the basics with your littles, and then work independently themselves in the afternoon?
Is there anyone who could arrange a gift of frozen dinners, or could you get some in the freezer before the surgery?
Bridget's ideas are just great, imho. I'd only add that I would plan for school to make sure you have what you need to show your district...is it possible to double up on the basics you need to show until the surgery so that there is less to worry about during the recovery days? I'd even work a few Saturdays if necessary, just to make sure that my bases were covered with the gov't.
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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Bridget
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| Posted: April 27 2007 at 2:36pm | IP Logged
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Bookswithtea wrote:
| is it possible to double up on the basics you need to show until the surgery so that there is less to worry about during the recovery days? I'd even work a few Saturdays if necessary, just to make sure that my bases were covered with the gov't. |
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Thats a good idea. I forget that some states require reporting.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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joann10
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I have told my bigs that I want them to start doing some school on Saturdays, and doubling up, especially in the main subjects like math and english. I do worry though that if they don't get a concept I don't want them to move ahead to fast. I am always careful in these subjects to have one idea learned real well before moving on.( I had the experience of moving fast with one child only to learn later that a lot had not been really learned,and that ended up costing us more time in the long run.)
I kind of feel like I am in a fog right now, but I do want to make some real good organizational plans.
I have a wonderful group of friends who I know will help with meals and my bigs are very good with the littles.
My biggest concern at this time is helping the bigs and littles deal with the emotions that are coming up. Especially because of what we have gone through in the past.
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aussieannie
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Joann, I don't have much advice on the physical logistics of everything but it has dawned on me since your last thread that you have "ann" in your name!
Here is a link to a beautiful site dedicated to St Anne it has the full, online version of the book "Good Saint Anne" and many prayers and pictures.
Here was this beautiful quote, that I rely heavily on!:
"obtains restoration to health for the mother when sick; preserves her precious life for her family, for her helpless children; and prevents the loss of husband and father."
"preserves her precious life for her family" - I love that and it makes me teary!
The one, good thing about the next 14 days is the room for a novena and I would place everything in that intecessor's hands.
I will offer my Tuesday Holy Communions before surgery in Honor of Saint Anne (her day) for you.
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Bridget
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joann10 wrote:
My biggest concern at this time is helping the bigs and littles deal with the emotions that are coming up. Especially because of what we have gone through in the past. |
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Tell them there will be over 1000 prayer warriors holding your family up in prayer during this time.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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MichelleW
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Oh, Joann! I am so sorry to hear this! I had a complete hysterectomy 18 months ago. There are several other woman on this board who have gone through the same thing.
I would highly recommend seeing a nutritionist before your surgery if you can. My doctor told me I should be taking a good multivitamin after surgery (when I was too weak to go shopping to find one). If you go before your surgery, a nutritionist can help you find a good vitamin and diet to help speed you recovery.
For school, I looked at what they really needed by when and found that, for the most part we were fine. So I checked out a lot of books on tape (your voice won't work so well for awhile). The kids all felt better doing school in my room with me. They really were freaked out by all this. They put the tape in and after a while either we discussed it, or I asked them to write something, etc. They did math work on their own. I helped with some questions, but usually dh tried to do that with them when he got home.
You need need need help with housekeeping and food. Your olders are old enough to help, but you can help them by making a schedule. You are going to feel awful for a long time. Longer than you think. Get ready for some super easy meals. I discovered Trader Joes has frozen breaded tilapia fillets. This was a meal my kids could make. Open the box, bake fillets for 20 min and serve with a big salad and ice cream for dessert. I'm sure you have lots of these simple ideas for meals. As (I think it was Bridget) said, you can make two of things now and freeze one for later. My kids took care of all the laundry and learned to vacuum.
Don't worry too much about school. You are probably fine with what you have covered so far this year. You just need to prove that you are doing something, and really anything is something.
I wish there was some way you could put off this surgery until June when school is out. That would be one less thing to worry about at least.
God bless you. You are in my prayers.
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Michelle
Mom to 3 (dd 14, ds 15, and ds 16)
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Jess
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Joann, I don't have any advice but I think you have received a lot of great advice. I will definatly pray for you and your dc to have peace during this time.
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Jess
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Carole N.
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Joann, no advice, but I will help to cover you in prayer.
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Carole ... in Wales
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Anne McD
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Joann, same here, no advice, but you and your family are in my prayers!!
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Anne
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momwise
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Well, when you ask an oldest child "What should I do?" it doesn't matter if we really don't know  ...we'll tell you something anyway....I also have no advice Joann except can you get to the priest with all your dc between now and then, receive the Sacrament of Anointing and let everyone lay thier hands on you in prayer? Even if your priest will just give you the Sacrament with your dc gathered around, I'm sure it will help everyone!
I'll be praying for you!
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Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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asplendidtime
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I will pray too Joann.
Don't feel badly about simple. Canned beans and rice/scrambled eggs/Mac and Cheese with veggies, easy stuff that boys can do, slather in Ketchup and will enjoy...
Try to have them call the time something positive, it will change their attitude about it, just like you have done with "life in the Little House". When we moved across country last year 4 days in the van with 6 little ones, and me 8months pg, we called it the "Driving Adventure". They still call it that. We just tried to be as absolutely positive as we could, they had a blast... They keep asking if we can do it again! "Remember our driving adventure Mum?"  Maybe your big boys could give the time a neat name, and help the little guys to get excited about the time they get to take care of "Sleepy Beauty" or something. Get candy to give to them, when you can tell that things are feeling intense. Have the big boys sing them funny songs, it will change the atmosphere.
I had to have surgery after my 5th baby was born, he was just six weeks old. I will really keep you in prayer.
***ETA***
When I feel concerned, I am really advice heavy....  Sorry! It is how I cope with feeling like I'd so like to help, but can't. Cyber hugs just don't cut it for me,  but I'll give you one anyway!
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Bridget
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7smallones wrote:
Try to have them call the time something positive, it will change their attitude about it, just like you have done with "life in the Little House". When we moved across country last year 4 days in the van with 6 little ones, and me 8months pg, we called it the "Driving Adventure". They still call it that. We just tried to be as absolutely positive as we could, they had a blast... They keep asking if we can do it again! "Remember our driving adventure Mum?" Maybe your big boys could give the time a neat name, and help the little guys to get excited about the time they get to take care of "Sleepy Beauty" or something. Get candy to give to them, when you can tell that things are feeling intense. Have the big boys sing them funny songs, it will change the atmosphere.
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Very good ideas, Rebecca. The candy plan would go a long way at my house! Or a good supply of popsicles.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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hylabrook1
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Oh, Joann -
I'm so sorry for all that is going on. Praying for you and your family. I will make a note of your surgery date so that I can pray especially on that day.
Peace,
Nancy
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momtomany
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You have gotten some great suggestions. I can't add to them, but I have noted your date for surgery and will be praying for you.
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Mary Ann in PA
wife to MIchael, mom to Elizabeth, Becca, Tim, Peter, Andrew, Sarah, Matthew, John, Leah and Joseph
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: What do I do?
