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JennGM
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| Posted: March 15 2007 at 9:35am | IP Logged
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Maybe this should be moved to "Loving the Little Ones?"
My son is almost 3 1/2 and is constantly asking about when are we getting a baby. Or he talks about making something for the baby, or buying something for the baby. Sometimes it's "my baby."
I talk to him about how we have to ask God, which he does. It's so sweet to see him immediately fold his hands and pray aloud. We had a long talk yesterday at lunch, and he made sure to distinguish that he wasn't talking about baby dolls, although he wouldn't mind having one, but a real baby.
Yesterday I tried to gently say sometimes God might not send the baby, even if we ask. Tears began to well up, and he folded his hands and started asking God "Why won't you send us a baby?"
We talked more and it seemed to be making a point, but he just ran to me and demandingly ask "When is the Baby Coming?" It's breaking my heart.
And I'm obviously not saying the right things to him. This has been going on for 3 months now, without our prodding. We have been trying to not have too much baby talk because it doesn't look like we will be blessed in that area.
Soooo...any helpful hints on talking babies or no babies with your *baby*?
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: March 15 2007 at 9:39am | IP Logged
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Oh, Jenn,  ! I had high expectations when I clicked on this thread. No helpful hints. I'm with your son.
So sorry! I didn't realize how attached I'd become to the cross you bear.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
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JennGM
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| Posted: March 15 2007 at 9:41am | IP Logged
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I'm so sorry! Thank you, Cay. I wasn't intending on misleading with the subject line. I can change it...
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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extremeknitter
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| Posted: March 15 2007 at 9:42am | IP Logged
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Hi Jenn,
I'm sorry your little one is struggling with this. I don't have any great words of wisdom, but I wanted to commiserate with you as I've had little ones praying the same prayers and questioning why we don't get to keep our babies. We just slugged along, doing what you're doing. Praying much with them and reminding them that God knows best for our family and just like mom and dad, sometimes God says, "not right now."
sending hugs and prayers your way.
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: March 15 2007 at 9:46am | IP Logged
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No, Jenn, that's okay. It's a very typical question asked by a 3 1/2 yr old who longs to be a big brother.  Your wording is perfect. I just have high hopes and still believe in miracles. 
[Edited to add: I hope I haven't caused you undue over my flub of understanding.  You asked a specific question and I've been anything BUT helpful. Let's get back to your little boy's question...]
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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Mare
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| Posted: March 15 2007 at 10:05am | IP Logged
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Jenn,
It is so difficult to hear our children praying for a baby and knowing we are doing all that we can do and nothing is happening. I was in tears many times last summer b/c my one dd had been hounding me almost daily about having a baby. The only thing I knew to say was similar to what you said.
God has a plan for each family. Some families have children, some do not. Some families are large and some are not. I told my dd to continue to pray to God for a baby. If it was God's will, it would happen in His time. Otherwise, God's will might be for our family to be just as it is.
Peace,
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PDyer
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| Posted: March 15 2007 at 10:16am | IP Logged
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Mare wrote:
It is so difficult to hear our children praying for a baby and knowing we are doing all that we can do and nothing is happening. I was in tears many times last summer b/c my one dd had been hounding me almost daily about having a baby. The only thing I knew to say was similar to what you said.
God has a plan for each family. Some families have children, some do not. Some families are large and some are not. I told my dd to continue to pray to God for a baby. If it was God's will, it would happen in His time. Otherwise, God's will might be for our family to be just as it is. |
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I've been saying much the same thing to my 5 year old daughter for quite some time now. You all have my prayers.
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Patty
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mary theresa
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Jenn, you have such a sweet little boy! I'm so sorry for everything!
I read this beautiful story once about a little girl, age 4 or 5 who started praying for another baby, and every day for 4 years she prayed for a baby and finally God gave her a baby brother when she was 9 years old. The ways of God are so hard to understand, and so mysterious! But the prayers of children are very powerful because they are so close to Him. Maybe your son just has to persevere . . .
I know this post is probably of no help, but I just wanted to tell you this story cuz it really touched me. I am praying for you and your son!
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Mary Theresa
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Sarah
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| Posted: March 15 2007 at 11:43am | IP Logged
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Jenn,
I'm sorry you are going through this. I have heard some of my friends who are struggling with infertility say that their kids really suffer, too. Even older ones cry and get angry. It affects the whole family.
I don't have any advice. I guess keep praying with him.
God bless you.
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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JennGM
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Thanks everyone. You're making feel better that I'm not steering him in the wrong direction. One starts to have doubts... 
I wish there was some way to not let the infertility affect my son. We don't bring up the subject around him, but children know when there aren't any little ones around in their house.
We'll keep praying. Mary Theresa, I've thought that way for awhile, that God would answer the pleadings of a child. And he does plead day and night in his prayers. Teaches me a real lesson!
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Christine
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Dear Jenn,
I am crying for you and your son. The following is not meant to make light of your cross, but could God be calling you, through your son, to adoption?
I know that this is how He called one of my irl friends to adopt.
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Christine
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KC in TX
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Jenn, I don't have any words of wisdom, but it broke my heart too to read about your son. I will continue to pray for you.
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Marybeth
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I have been in your shoes. Ds would ask all the time between 3-5. He use to get so upset at Adoration b/c he wanted Jesus to leave our baby under the altar.
I just had him pray and then pray more.
I'm sorry. I know how hard this can be for the whole family.
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Marybeth (Mb)
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msclavel
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What a tender heart your sweet son has! Many prayers for your whole family. I have no advice . Just somewhat awed by the faith of a child.
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stefoodie
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Your son is just precious, Jenn. My heart breaks for him and you. I don't have any advice, I'm sure that your love for him is already leading you to say the right words. But lots of hugs and prayers for you guys.
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stef
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Ruth
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Jenn, not sure what else to say, except lots of continued prayers for you and your family. 
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Ruth
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Carole N.
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What a sweet story, Jenn. I am so sad for both of you. I have no words of wisdom, but I will continue to pray daily for you (and of course, your son).
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Carole ... in Wales
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momtomany
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Jen, your son sounds like such a sweetheart. And God really hears the prayers of little ones. No good advice for you, but I am continuing to pray.
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Mary Ann in PA
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humanaevitae
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Jenn,
I have no advice but am in a similar boat. My dd is 7 and has been praying for a sister for years. She was devestated after our last baby was another brother. At this point she is upset and doesn't think God cares/loves her. She sees how close I am to my own sister and it brings her to tears.
One thing we did do was sponser a child in another country. DD choose a girl a year younger than herself and picked the country. She enjoys sends "her sponser sister" letters and little gifts and is delighted to receive pictures back. Maybe your son would enjoy this?
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Nicole-Zane 10, Elizabeth 7, Xavier 4, and John Patrick 2
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saintanneshs
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| Posted: March 21 2007 at 2:56pm | IP Logged
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Oh, Jenn, how hard this must be for you to handle. I always seem to lose my composure when my kids ask for something that I want just as badly as they do. It just makes the heartache that much worse and the cross just a little heavier for us to bear I think...something about not being able to give them what we'd like to have ourselves.
I wish I had some advice, but it sounds like you're handling things perfectly. Stay strong, mama. I hope all of our prayers will help you carry that cross.
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Kristine
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Topic: Advice on "When is the Baby Coming?"
