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Elizabeth
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| Posted: March 05 2007 at 5:00pm | IP Logged
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...but I opened that big box from the University of Dallas so that I could have my cry before he gets home. He's in. I'm supposed to clap here, huh?  . I was so excited for him. For about three minutes. Then, I went to get balloons. And when I was there I saw the same "It's a Boy!" balloon that Mike brought me when Michael was born. So, I asked for the "congratulations" balloons but I couldn't even finish my request. And poor Patrick told the man what we wanted and whispered, "Mom you can't cry in the balloon store."
Michael wants to go to Dallas. It's 1100 miles away. And I've got exactly twenty minutes to stop crying before he gets home. Your prayer are appreciated.
So far, I'm not so much liking my time in this tea room. Can I go back to the board where we're pushing baby swings, now?
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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amyable
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Elizabeth, I don't quite belong here yet (soon enough!) but I wanted to give you a huge hug, and tell you my prayers (and tears) are with you. 
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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Paula in MN
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Elizabeth, I know what you are going through. I'm praying for you here.
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: March 05 2007 at 5:11pm | IP Logged
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Praying for strength for you Elizabeth. Dallas is far ( I lived there for 1.5 yrs) but there are lots of flight back east. And there are lots of 4Real Families that I'm sure would love to "adopt" Michael!
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Noreen
Wife to Ed
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Tami
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| Posted: March 05 2007 at 5:16pm | IP Logged
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Praying, dear. Hang in there. There is grace, and joy in the realization of the time you're in, though it is painful at right now.
And just because he's accepted, and he likes it, doesn't mean he'll have to go.
Congratulations to all of you, again. 
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God bless,
Tami
When we are crushed like grapes, we cannot think of the wine we will become. (Nouwen)
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Mary G
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| Posted: March 05 2007 at 5:22pm | IP Logged
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Elizabeth -- I'm in denial about my baby (17 and 6'3") going to LSU in June -- it's exactly 1318 from Denver to Baton Rouge (I've already got the AAA triptik). He'll be driving, by himself, into the setting sun ....
So believe me, I know EXACTLY how you feel! Congrats to Michael but still........  I'll keep you and all the mums sending their boys off in my prayers this Lent!
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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SuzC
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I don't belong here and never read the posts...kinda out of respect I guess  , but I opened this one and maybe there's a reason!
We live in Dallas, minutes from UD. My dh came from Michigan to attend UD. UD definitely played a part in forming him into a great man. Some of his best friends today (and one of our ds's Godfathers) are UD classmates. I'm certainly glad he came to Dallas  !
All that to say...we're here...we're an open door, a car ride if necessary, a house full of kids if he's lonely, and certainly a phone call away from his mama if there's ever anything we can do!
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Suz in TX
dd~12, dd~9, ds~8, ds~6, ds~4, ds~1
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Maturemomg
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| Posted: March 05 2007 at 5:53pm | IP Logged
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Okay, Elizabeth. I'm new here, and figured out what yuo're talking about. (For a bit I wondered if you were being transferred or your dh was heading off somewhere...)
Then I went to your homepage- oh my- you're a celebrity!
Let me tell you what will happen:
(I assume Michael is your oldest...)
You will cry (you did that, check it off the list).
You will cry a bit more.
Then you will change a diaper, clean up a spill, buy him some clothes and things he needs, referee a fight, do a load of laundry, make supper, and and and ......
I think one of the BIG benefits of many kids and a big age range is that you are not going to have TIME to expend lots of energy in grieveing. (Or one could say wallow in self-pity, but I don't know you well wnough to say that!)
This, too, shall pass....
I think of my brother and sil. Their two are a bit younger than my first two. When their second went off to college they had MAJOR empty nest syndrome and adjustments. My oldest left at 17 (just a baby!) but I was too busy with others to cry for long! He is now 28, and by the time my 3 yo is ready to fly the coop I think I JUST might be okay with it. (But, then, my 3 yo has Down Syndrome, so she may not "fly the coop" quite the same, or at the same age, as most do...)
Prayers for you, but this WILL get better.
Why is it, that we raise our children to be independent confident thinkers who can go out and transform the world; and then when they go and start doing that, we fall apart???
Yours in Christ,
Kathy
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stacykay
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| Posted: March 05 2007 at 6:15pm | IP Logged
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Yes, the baby swings, and not the new-fangled "quiet ones," but the ones you had to crank up and the soothing tick, tick, tick sound it made!
Congratulations, Elizabeth! I sent my oldest off this fall, albeit 72 miles is a lot closer than 1100. But you do have phones,email, Thanksgiving, Christmas, "Spring Break," and the summers! We have friends whose son went in state, they get along great, and he has only been home on the above listed breaks.
It is true, what Kathy said, about being busy with the others, but...(and I have had people look at me like I'm nuts,) it will be quiet- you will notice that missing voice- even in the midst of all your other very dc. I have cried only once (a huge surprise to me and all who know me) and that was when I got the feeling when talking to ds that he was lonely!
A new stage, very exciting for Michael, and you will be able to make it, because you love him so much and will be happy that he is happy.
God Bless you all!
Stacy in MI
dss Matt-18, Mike-16, Pete-11, Mark-8, Paul-5, and John-2
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Cheryl M.
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Prayers and hugs, Elizabeth! Our oldest will be leaving this fall to attend college 100 miles from home - not too very far - but still 100 miles away from the family who loves him dearly...it will be both a sad and happy time for us.
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Time-Really-Does-Fly
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: March 05 2007 at 7:26pm | IP Logged
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Elizabeth -
This is such a time of mixed feelings (understatement of the century). I'm not finding the "hugs" emoticon, but I would be sending it to you in spades if I could.
My daughter got married last summer, so I really know what you're feeling like. (Besides having 3 go off to college).
It's a good thing ... everything that makes us cry isn't bad (but you know that). I have a feeling you're a *teary one* just as I am.
Praying that all goes smoothly.
Most of all, you have a wonderful son to be proud of.
Peace,
Nancy
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Karen E.
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Oh, Elizabeth,
I'm older than you are in years, but I'm behind you in mothering ... I'm dreading the day my first baby leaves.
I'm praying for you ....
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God bless,
Karen E.
mom to three on earth, and several souls in God's care
Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
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Meredith
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No wisdom from this over 40 year old, just prayers and sympathy.
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Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
Sweetness and Light
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Tami
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| Posted: March 05 2007 at 8:23pm | IP Logged
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Elizabeth, how did things go tonight?
Still thinking of you here.....
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God bless,
Tami
When we are crushed like grapes, we cannot think of the wine we will become. (Nouwen)
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teachingmom
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| Posted: March 06 2007 at 12:02am | IP Logged
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A big congrats to Michael! And a prayer for you to handle this next step, Elizabeth.
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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MaryM
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I, too, am anxious to hear how the evening went. It's an exciting time in the lives of these young people as they take this step. It's really exciting to get the "yes" from a school you really want. Congratulation to Michael - University of Dallas is a very good school. And, I'll be praying for you, Mom, that you can relish the joy more than focus on the loss.
We are in our first year of a college son away, and he is about the same distance you mention, so we see him during the specified breaks Stacy listed. I miss him and it is definitely an adjustment not having him around in our day to day lives. I can't speak to your exact experience because my son was in high school the last 4 years so I had a bit of gradual experience with letting go of not having him around 24/7, but still...
I found that because he is happy and thriving and doing so well at college, that I feel good and am not sad about him not being here. I will second what Stacy said about my emotions being tied to his. The fact that he is happy keeps me happy. I know if he were struggling or miserable I would be a wreck. I look at it like weaning - when a child has had his needs met and gradually gives up that nursing relationship when he is emotionally and physically ready, it feels so right and there is no regret or sadness (well anyway, that's how I felt) and that is how I've felt with my oldest leaving for college. He is ready for this new part of his life. He is doing great and we are so pleased with the young man that he is. Our parenting journey is far from over ("..as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be...") but this is what we have raised him for - to be ready to go out into the world, so it is exciting and rewarding as well.
And with the internet and cell phones, we are in contact with him a lot! Isn't technology grand.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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Elizabeth
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He was totally thrilled. It was a little awkward because I told him he had to wait until we reached Mike to tell anyone else(which is toatlly hypocritical because I told all of you before I told im, but, let's not digress).
I know that the local grandparents are totally not going to understand why he NEEDS to go so far away when we have "so many good state universities in Virginia that cost about a quarter as much." So, in the process of mentally rehearsing what I was going to tell them, I reminded myself why this is a great place for him.
We are still waiting the money details and I want him to go visit. But it does look like this is where he's headed.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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jackiemomof7
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Congrats! First of all to you and your son. Second remember that it is okay to cry. I kept wanting to hide my crying and my dh reminded me that the younger ones will be hurting also so if they see mama cry they know that they can too.
Again and may Mary bring you peace of heart.
Jackie
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Jackie wife to Jim for 27!! years, proud army mom of Chris(25),Chef Matthew(24) and Sister Grace of Benedectines (21),Joshua(19),Nicholas(17),Jaymee(15), Elizabeth(13) and 2 in Heaven.Grandma to 3!
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Servant2theKing
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Elizabeth, it WILL get easier...allow yourself cry to when you need to...you'll be better able to smile and wholeheartedly encourage your ds as your family sends him off on this new leg of his Journey of life. If you can focus on giving Michael a sense of love and hope as he steps forth into this new life, your own feelings of loss will soften and diminish, in time. Pour yourself into acts of service that will speak to his heart of the boundless love your family has for him...such as little care packages, before and after his departure. Your mothering all through the years has been preparing Michael for such a time as this! This venture is living proof of a job well done, good and faithful servant!
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All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
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Elizabeth
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I'm finding it more than a little ironic that the same extended family that has disapproved of keeping our little ones (and bigger-but-not-yet-grown ones) home for their education thus far, are objecting to sending our young adults away for college  .
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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4Real Forums : St. Anne's Tearoom: Growing in Wisdom over 40
Topic: He doesn't even know yet...
