4Real Forums: What do you do for your husband at 40+

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St. Anne's Tearoom: Growing in Wisdom over 40
4Real Forums : St. Anne's Tearoom: Growing in Wisdom over 40

Topic: What do you do for your husband at 40+

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amarytbc
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Posted: Sept 19 2007 at 10:31am \| IP Logged

that you didn't do before. Now that we have older kids in college and teens with just a few small ones I can see my relationship with my husband changing. I have time to notice him more. I respect him in a different way and have tender feelings for him that I haven't had in years. Have your feelings changed at all and do you do little things for your dh that you didn't do before or not in a long time?

Angie Mc
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Posted: Sept 20 2007 at 5:36pm \| IP Logged

What a great topic...thanks for starting it

.

Yesterday my dh was home all day and we were celebrating a career honor he received on Monday. I simply couldn't stop looking at him! I mean, really looking at him. When we were driving to a restaurant to celebrate, I looked at his profile and flashed back to when we first met...when he would drive me home from work (we worked together) and I would steal a peek at his handsome face (very discreetly, of course

). All day I kept watching him with the children. I haven't seen him this happy and relieved in some time...he was so relaxed and joyful. I'm just amazed at who he has become.

If I had to pick one word to describe my feelings, it would be the one you also chose, tender. I'm honestly not a naturally tender person. Yet, over the years I have become so much more tender toward and respectful for his journey as husband and father. My tenderness is helping me to smile at him more often, listen better, and not dump as much stuff on him as I used to do.

Now you have me thinking about what little niceties I might be able to start integrating into our relationship? Maybe some love notes - actually written and not emailed

? I'll be thinking on this.

Love,

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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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msclavel
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Posted: Sept 20 2007 at 6:21pm \| IP Logged

I'm lurking here...not yet 40, neither is dh, but I can tell you what I've seen between my parents. And truly the word is tenderness. My mother just loves and finds her joy in caring for my father. Its the new recipe she thinks he'll love (and yes, she cooks his dinner every night), quiet walks, listening to an audiobook together, small gifts to show he is ever present in her thoughts. Its how she talks and worries about him with us. How she seems to miss him, even when they are parted for very short times. There is an aspect of this I can't quite put into words. I've learned so much from them the past few years.

St. Ann
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Posted: Sept 24 2007 at 7:04am \| IP Logged

My dh is almost 50 and a school teacher also in administration. There is a lot of stress in his profession, so when he comes home he really needs to relax... Just a few months ago I began bringing him a cup of tea to his desk while he was working. I never did this before, because I just never thought about it...Our youngest is almost 4 and just a little bit independent

I am no longer just looking down all day at the littles, but my gaze has raised to the level of my dh and am trying to meet some of his 'comfort' needs.
There is probably much more I could do for him. I really need to make the effort.

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Stephanie

Wife and mother to Hannah '96, Maria '99, Dorothea '01, Helena '03

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