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SeaStar
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| Posted: May 02 2011 at 6:09pm | IP Logged
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I recently saw a comment a lady left on a blog post about wanting to become "in-offendable". Her thoughts were that she was a child of God, and her worth comes from Him, not others.
She reasoned that if she could truly hold on to this truth, then the thoughts and actions of others could not offend her.
I have thought a lot about this comment. Wouldn't it be nice (and so freeing) to become "in-offendable"? We can't know why others say and do the things they do. To let go of wonderings and supposings and "why did she/he say/do this or that?" and just focus on God... that is such a simple idea, but it would change your life!
I am thinking that the Blessed Mother must have been, in many ways, "in-offendable". I'm sure a lot of people said a lot of things about her, but she kept focused on the Lord. If I could have just a drop of that grace it would be a treasure, undoubtedly.
This month of May, I am going to ask Blessed Mary to help me start on a journey to become "in-offendable".
What about your May? Is there anything special that you ask for or offer to Mary during her special month?
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: May 03 2011 at 9:40pm | IP Logged
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What beautiful thoughts, Melinda! I think to be "in-offendable" would be to be completely humble, completely detached from the opinions of others. I think it is also to be Love. 'Love is patient, love is kind... slow to anger, etc.' Often I get angry because I take offense. Such great opportunities for growth and reflection!
I have been especially asking Mary to help me live in the moment, content with every cross and blessing. This week I have been especially asking for the grace to start each day accepting all that the day will bring. Our Blessed Mother must have taken each moment as it came, completely submitted to God's Will. My hope is to grow even the tiniest bit in this direction -- a moment in each day in which I truly and completely give my will up to Him as she did.
I am also asking her to help me Be Love. To be patient, kind, slow to anger, etc.... That's the kind of mother (and person) I want to be and know she was.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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guitarnan
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| Posted: May 03 2011 at 9:54pm | IP Logged
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This is food for much reflection, Melinda. We often gloss over Our Lady's personal trials because her own life was so focused on doing God's will and supporting the ministry of Our Lord.
Imagine all the things she had to turn away from...
Whispers about her older, previously infertile parents;
Innuendoes related to her engagement, pregnancy and marriage;
Gossip about her Son, who abruptly left home and began a public ministry that was unpopular in Nazareth;
Stress as His ministry expanded and He became famous...and attracted the attention of the powerful Pharisees;
Adulation, as Our Lord's popularity grew and crested in Jerusalem;
Fear, sadness and anguish, as He suffered for our sins and died on the cross;
Emotional overload on Holy Saturday, as she accepted the furtive condolences of the bravest of her friends;
Fear, worry and doubt, in the face of Easter joy...
...and more, as she lived and worked with the Apostles during the earliest days of the Church.
So much to ponder...and we have Mary, our Mother, as the sinless example of reflection on God's will and His holy Word...
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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aussieannie
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| Posted: May 03 2011 at 10:05pm | IP Logged
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I enjoyed your reflections, Melinda and Janette. I'm still reading with the children, the life of St Louis deMontfort and I marvel at his 'in-offendability.' His close friends around him were often the ones who so greatly astonished at his inability to take offence, they often were offended for him! 
I think what you are talking about Melinda, is the mark of a saint and in the life of a Catholic, it is an important 'fruit' seen in one deeply devoted to following Our Lady's example, a sign of deep humility.
My dh always reminds me when I'm offended that I haven't changed in God's eyes, so why take offence? So that very much reflects what you mentioned Melinda about your blogging friend, "she is a child of God and her worth comes from Him, not others" ~ I just wish I could act upon that belief as I should at all times.
I am asking Our Lady at present, for a life of simplicity, also that I act on my will and not my feelings.
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Mackfam
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| Posted: May 03 2011 at 10:14pm | IP Logged
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When I think of striving for this trait, I think of perfect patience, perfect surrender to God's will. Non nobis. Not for ourselves. Not my will, but thine be done.
Our Lord offers His example on the path to the cross. Our Lady must have exercised a heroic patience that is unimaginable as she watched her precious son mocked, scourged and crucified. In following her Son, she surrendered all to the Father's plan, cooperating and offering her Fiat even to the point of the Crucifixion.
St. Teresa of Avila writes in her famous poem:
Quote:
Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices. |
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In perfect surrender to the Divine Will, all things are passing. Eyes and hearts are focused on Him alone. Treasure is laid up in heaven and we wait in joyful hope. In this hope, in this joy which comes even in suffering, there is not room to be offended or disturbed.
I can do this only imperfectly, and only insofar as I cooperate with grace, but oh the joy when I am able to experience that lack of disturbance. My heart is focused on His plan, and even in the pain of the way of the cross, there is great beauty, eternal hope, and supernatural joy.
May Our Lady assist us all in emulating Her gracefulness, faithfulness, and Her tender quiet surrender at the foot of the cross.
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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aussieannie
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| Posted: May 03 2011 at 10:29pm | IP Logged
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St Teresa's poem is powerful. She is my confirmation saint...when I chose her I was 11 and my reasons for doing so were not profound, so I wonder if the saints choose you? I have often thought that with St Teresa. 
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: May 03 2011 at 10:36pm | IP Logged
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Oh, I very much think that the saints do choose us! I saw that clearly this fall with St. Maria Goretti and, now that you mention Confirmation, Anne, I see it in my confirmation saint (Mary). I was born on the Holy Name of Mary (which I discovered when I was confirmed) and was married on the Queenship of Mary (which I discovered many years later).
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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aussieannie
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| Posted: May 03 2011 at 10:50pm | IP Logged
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Some very lovely connections there Janette! My dh was born on the Holy Name of Mary as well, a beautiful Marian feast, the history to it's origins is fascinating.
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Under Her Starry Mantle
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aussieannie
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| Posted: May 03 2011 at 10:52pm | IP Logged
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Actually, when I made my dh's rosary beads, he chose an Ave Maria Crown, it wasn't until I blogged about the feast a few months later, I discovered that the Ave Maria Crown is the symbol for the feast of the Holy Name of Mary, so I told dh that I'm not so sure he did all the choosing! 
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guitarnan
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| Posted: May 03 2011 at 11:20pm | IP Logged
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My Confirmation saint chose me through the lovely stories in the Treasure Box series...and St. Therese continues to inspire me as I grow older and learn more about her and her devout, devoted parents and sisters. As a young child I loved the idea of sacrifice beads and offering up everyday trials for Jesus.
What is so amazing to me is that I received the Treasure Box issues in a huge box of grandparent hand-me-downs that my grandmother's neighbor gave to her...amidst the stuffed animals and other toys was Hidden Treasure at its finest...a series of stories and poems and prayers aimed squarely at young Catholics (I read the parent notes, too, but they made no sense at the time ). Oh, how I loved every story of St. Therese and Our Lady and the good angels...I wanted to be just like them.
Even more amazing is that I've been blessed with Co-op students who love the saints as much as I do...I so wish you could see the icons my high school students wrote this semester! They inspire me and I am so grateful. At least two of my current students feel called to serve Our Lord as nuns (different orders!); they understand what it means to live in the world but know their calling is outside and beyond the world. They're 14 and 15 years old. I am humbled. Talk about hidden treasure! (Please remember Helen and Olivia in your prayers; they are lovely, devout, talented and inspiring. They will bring glory to God, I feel sure, because they have been so ready to answer His call.)
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: May 10 2011 at 1:03pm | IP Logged
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Awesome word... "in-offendable." This is a perfect description of something I've found very attractive, most recently while considering G.K. Chesterton. When I think about how I want to be, especially in connection with the words I choose to use and my interactions with others, "in-offendable" is very much a part of it. I'm responsible for not letting you offend me because my goal in all things is to love you, respect you, and be a picture of God's love for you.
So much to ponder...
Thanks, Melinda and all  .
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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stellamaris
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| Posted: May 10 2011 at 2:56pm | IP Logged
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I have put this idea into practice in my own life by considering the opposite notion: when we are "in-offendable" we are in a place of grace, but when we are offended then something, as Miss Clavel would say, "is not right!"
Whenever I am offended or angered, I first seriously examine my own conscience and state of grace. Usually, I find pride at the root of my "offendability". This is an occasion for me to work on ridding myself of pride, or sloth, or whatever sinfulness the "offense" has revealed.
This is not to say that the other person is correct in their behavior or that bad/offensive behavior is acceptable...only that I am responsible for the state of my own soul, not theirs. It also doesn't mean I need to be a doormat--when I am in right relationship to God I can speak the truth without anger and hear the truth (even harsh truth) without defense.
Also, I'm not talking here about the offenses due to sins of immodesty or sacrilegious acts, for example,--these are not personal offenses so becoming upset about such things is not the same (in my mind) as becoming personally offended, if that makes sense to anyone? This is why, I think, Jesus driving the money-changers out of the temple is a different kind of reaction than us getting furious when someone criticizes our opinions. We call both "anger", but they are not the same.
I guess I sort of equate being offended with anger. I wonder, do you think they are the same or related in some way?
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 10 2011 at 2:59pm | IP Logged
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Not sure if it's quite appropriate to the discussion.. but something a friend taught me to help me give other the benefit of the doubt is to "give them an excuse".
Oh that cashier was rude.. she must have gotten some bad news recently. Or that driver cut me off, he must be in a hurry because someone at home is sick or hurt.
Giving them a "good reason" to be acting that way helps me.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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-Sir Walter Scott
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4Real Forums : Hidden Treasure
Topic: "in-offendable"
