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Kristie 4 Forum All-Star


Joined: June 20 2006 Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline Posts: 1508
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Posted: July 29 2013 at 6:41pm | IP Logged
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We are at the point where our oldest is starting University in the fall and living at home. Right now he is in a walk in closet (with a window!) off of a room where my other two boys sleep. We are building a basement room but have been thrown off course by other repairs in our old house Right now my latest idea is to have the three of them sleep in one room and set up the walk in closet like an office for him- with a reading chair and desk. This would be a temporary plan until we could get the room done downstairs, but it could end up being for a year!
I think it sounds fine, but extended family think we are robbing him of something nebulous if he doesn't have his 'own' space.
I need some good opinions -positive or negative!!
__________________ Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
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Kathryn Forum All-Star

Joined: April 24 2009 Location: N/A
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Posted: July 29 2013 at 7:02pm | IP Logged
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Hi Kristie,
Here's my humble opinion...
I would consider your son's opinion if he's being "robbed" of his own space. What does *he* think is a good solution? I would consider the age differences between the boys and whether the (possible differing) bedtime routines would be a problem for any of them. I would then consider not running this by anyone to prevent the negative f/b you're getting. I know that's hard...I tend to chat, chat, chat and catch myself saying things and then wishing I hadn't but if you tell yourself that this is YOUR family's decision, then no one else needs to bother. If they come into your home and see the situation, I would just nod and say hmm or ok and drop it. I'm sure they mean well but your plan doesn't sound bad to me but I would discuss it with the boys and consider those few issues I mentioned above.
Good luck!
__________________ Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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Kristie 4 Forum All-Star


Joined: June 20 2006 Location: Canada
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Posted: July 29 2013 at 7:09pm | IP Logged
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That's all great advice Kathryn! I will talk with him more.
Unfortunately, we do need to find some sort of plan right now as we can't fit a desk in his little closet right now and that makes it hard to keep his schoolwork organized (not an organized boy naturally!), and the basement room is on hold until we can remedy the cement pad problem!
__________________ Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
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JodieLyn Forum Moderator


Joined: Sept 06 2006 Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline Posts: 12234
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Posted: July 29 2013 at 7:17pm | IP Logged
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Well, I have 6 boys more or less in one room (there's room for them all but the two littlest ones tend to still sleep elsewhere with someone). So 3 in a room sounds fine and just remind yourself if he was in the dorms in college he'd most likely be sharing a room with 1-4 others anyway. (the dorm my dh was in had 2 very small bedrooms and a small living area so that you shared a bedroom with 1 person and the living area with 3)
AND unless he's going to seminary, I would expect that he's planning to marry eventually and share his bedroom space then.. so it's really just not that important to get your own private bedroom when the majority of your life you'll end up sharing it anyway.
__________________ Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Kristie 4 Forum All-Star


Joined: June 20 2006 Location: Canada
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Posted: July 29 2013 at 8:24pm | IP Logged
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Thank-you Jodie.
I think it is because he is going to university now- but really, he is the most agreeable child and is very connected with his brothers.
__________________ Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
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Martha Forum All-Star


Joined: Aug 25 2005 Location: N/A
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Posted: July 29 2013 at 8:37pm | IP Logged
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I don't understand the focus on a desk. It's not necessary. Some very famous minds did most of their study and writing standing. Or at a library. Or kitchen table. :)
*shrug*
If it's the best of what you have, then it will have to suffice and other people need to either mind their own business, be supportive, or chip in to pay for the renovations.
If your sons seem happy enough, then let be and don't worry about the other people's opinions.
__________________ Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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Kristie 4 Forum All-Star


Joined: June 20 2006 Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline Posts: 1508
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Posted: July 29 2013 at 8:48pm | IP Logged
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We have family wanting to pay for the renos, but our time is limited as my dh works so much.
I am glad you brought up the desk- I realised what he really needs is a type of cabinet or separate bookcase (his are all stuffed with books etc.) for him to stay organised with his schoolwork. He is definitely not my type-A kid (that would be his brother!)
__________________ Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
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