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Martha in VA
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| Posted: July 10 2009 at 8:47pm | IP Logged
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Normally, by this time in July, I am compiling my book orders and getting our school area prepared for the new year....which typically begins in early August.
This year has been anything but a normal year and I'm nearly paralyzed when I walk around my house and really look hard at the piles and piles of clutter that has accumulated. I have always struggled anyway with neatness and orderliness so we already had "problem areas" when I went on bedrest for 6 weeks back in March. The piles of clutter that were present when my bedrest began only served as magnets for more stuff for my family while I was immobile. Since Brayden was born in April, I've been too weak or tired to deal with it and am only now beginning to have energy to even want to make progress. But when I think of how much time it will take to deal with this, it makes me dizzy and I can't even get started.
I'm not really sure why I'm posting this except that I need a little encouragement. I also need to know that even just 15 minutes a day (can you tell I've been reading Flylady  ) can make a difference eventually because many days that's all I have to give. The baby is just now beginning to be more predictable and also sleep longer at night.
Any insight, encouragement, advice would be so very welcome.
Martha in VA
(I should also add that there has been very little order to our days since Brayden's birth. Everything feels haphazard, including my own prayer time (which mostly doesn't happen). I add this because I suspect it may have some bearing on the solution.)
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jdostalik
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| Posted: July 10 2009 at 10:18pm | IP Logged
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Martha,
I'll pray for you...
When I am postpartum and in your shoes, I tend to try to just focus on one room at a time...working in short bursts (15 minutes or less) but always returning to the one room until it is pristine and clutter-free.
Then, I am able to maintain (with kiddos help) that room and move onto the next area. Perhaps this would work for you?
Also, since you have older kids, perhaps you could enlist their help while you are nursing the baby--you could sort of direct them in sorting and putting away some piles? This has also worked for me to some degree...
Hang in there; your baby is still so little--caring for and nurturing him is is the most important job you have right now! 
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Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
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Mackfam
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| Posted: July 10 2009 at 10:32pm | IP Logged
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Oh, Martha...I know you can do this!
Start with prayer - Make it a simple and do-able routine, an Our Father, a Hail Mary, a Morning Offering, and maybe a Memorare for your special intentions for the day. Pray with Brayden's first morning nursing or feeding. Get in the habit of saying tiny little prayers throughout the day, especially when you sit down with the baby. Ask Our Lady to help you with detachment and to help you visualize an order in your home that will assist you in living out your vocation.
Which room is bothering you the most? If walking through the house is going to start a panic attack - pick one room. If it were me, I'd start in the kitchen. Swishing is your friend! Start in your pantry, work a little at a time until your pantry is in order. Then tackle the cupboard with everyday dishes - finish that. Move on to pots...you get the idea. Break it down into bite size chunks. As you move through the kitchen if you find something that doesn't belong there set it aside - in a garage, the basement, somewhere out of the way - you can go through that later. For now, just leave only those things that make sense in that room and swish the rest to your holding zone.
Stay in the living areas of your home for now. After the kitchen, or your first room, choose another room, probably the living room??? Swish small areas into place and swish items that don't belong in there into your holding zone. Laundry baskets are great for this. Even if you only have 15 minutes at a time, you can grab a laundry basket and swish a small corner...or a pile, or the middle of the room.
Keep moving through the few rooms in the main area of the house. In my house, that's the kitchen, living room, and learning room. Those are the biggies. I'm suffocating if those rooms are disordered. So that's where I'd focus.
Maintain it! Once you have a room together and in order, spend 15 minutes before your husband comes home swishing again - toys in bins, kid's belongings in a basket waiting to be taken to their rooms, shoes put away, books on shelves, table wiped, sweep/quick vacuum the kitchen. Just stick to the main area of the home for quick tidies. If you and all the kids get in the habit of making your bed each morning that goes a long way towards helping as well! A quick tidy each afternoon helps the kids remember where things go, and that every day they're gonna have to go back there.
No sweating the small stuff Seriously, if you get all the dishes caught up once a day - great! I mean, it would be ideal if the girls could get in the habit of doing the dishes after meals and starting a load of laundry or 3 for you each day. It would be worthwhile to invest some time setting up those habits and routines with them! I scrub and shine my kitchen sink once a week - on Saturday. I dust as I vacuum. The kids wash windows and baseboards. Sometimes my clean laundry is in a pile on my couch for days - it's a neat pile, but a pile nonetheless. Tackle the piles that are bothering you the most first and give yourself permission to get to the rest when you get there.
You can do this! It just seems monumental right now because it's hard to see a way out of it, but you could set yourself a goal of 1 or 2 weeks per room. Keep your holding zone set aside so there's a place for stuff to land when you clean out a room. You only want to keep items in a room if they make sense. If it doesn't make sense to keep the past 10 years of Southern Living stacked in a corner of your living room, swish them to your holding zone and free up a bit of your living room. When you've finished a few rooms, you can go through your holding zone. I'd suggest donating a LOT of it to charity. Chances are if its been piled up attracting more clutter and not bringing peace it's ready to move on and be useful in someone else's space.
to you Martha! Good luck!
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Theresa
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| Posted: July 10 2009 at 10:47pm | IP Logged
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Jennifer you shared excellent advice!
Martha, you are in my prayers.
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Theresa
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Martha in VA
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| Posted: July 11 2009 at 7:43am | IP Logged
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Mackfam wrote:
If it doesn't make sense to keep the past 10 years of Southern Living stacked in a corner of your living room, swish them to your holding zone and free up a bit of your living room. |
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OK, who has been spying on me??!!
Seriously, thank you, ladies, for the prayers and wonderful advice.
Martha in VA
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4dds,miracle son 4/09, 2 in heaven
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Stephanie_Q
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| Posted: July 11 2009 at 8:36am | IP Logged
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Jennifer - that is great advice - and I needed to read it, too. I'm tempted to print it out, but I'm afraid it would just add to the clutter in my house!
I always struggle with where to start - it ALL bothers me and I wander around feeling paralyzed, like Martha and then get nothing done OR I pick a space and spend too much time going through each little pile (being a perfectionist doesn't help) while the rest of the house goes kerplunk. (love the Maintain it! reminder)
I am really goal-oriented so I think that, once I pick a pile (after a quick prayer to the Holy Spirit - show me where to start!), I need to set a timer to keep me on track - maybe that would help Martha, too.
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dd 6.02, dd 8.03, ds 3.05, ds 12.06 at Catholic school.
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MarilynW
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| Posted: July 11 2009 at 12:47pm | IP Logged
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Dear Martha - no advice - just lots of empathy from another postpartum mum. I have less clutter because I was not on bedrest and did some heavy duty nesting. But at 6 weeks postpartum I have so little energy and the day flies by. I cannot stay up at night to do school planning as I need to go the bed when Anna does so I get a few hours. I have stopped resting in the afternoon to try and tidy up or clear paperwork - but realize I need to rest as mastitis is threatening. I don't really get going quickly in the morning after little sleep. My dilemma for the summer is how to get our summer virtue study in, plan school for next year, do some fun activities and trips out - as well as just manage to run the household, cook etc whilst cuddling and nursing my little girl.
..my goal for this weekend is just to clear my dining table which is packed with paperwork..and to pay bills....
(btw - we have had little order either - I think it is a postpartum thing....my prayer life is not happening at all and I think this is why I am feeling hazy and a little blue.
I will be praying for you...
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KC in TX
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| Posted: July 11 2009 at 9:51pm | IP Logged
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I'm not even a post partum mom! I feel your pain, Martha. The last year or so the clutter has been overwhelming. I HAVE to be organized before dh deploys to Afghanistan so that the house doesn't look like clutter vomit when he returns.
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4Real Forums : Our Lady's Loom, Larder, and Laundry
Topic: Utterly overwhelmed by my house :(
