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Maggie
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| Posted: Nov 24 2008 at 9:24pm | IP Logged
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Hi Ladies,
Please be patient with me...I'm a young mom with two littles (3.5 and 17 mos)...and while I intellectually know the importance of cleaning, keeping house, and making a home, I find it almost impossible to do so.
I did not have a good example from my own mother...so even basic tidying is overwhelming. I just get caught up in the clutter and don't know what to do with it.
Our home is a condo--VERY small...and we definitely have a clutter problem...and while we try to get rid of what we can...we believe "things" breed in our home.
I am a fly lady failure  though, I do like her ideas...
Are there any good books that might help? Really, I'm no good at this at all...and for my children and husband's sake (you'd think those reasons alone would be motivation enough), I need to get better at this.
I want to get better at this before I have "big" kids that require that much more from me in terms of home schooling, etc. Even thinking about that overwhelms me.
God Bless,
Maggie
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Nov 24 2008 at 9:49pm | IP Logged
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When I did FlyLady I got overwhelmed with all the different things you needed to do each day. I decided I would do 15 minutes of whatever bugged me the worst and that was just what I needed to get started. It worked. Now I have some little routines-like the bathrooms are done on Sunday to Monday--I visit a different one each time I need to go and do a little clean-up  Laundry is done daily-at least one to two loads--helps the septic and me-only one-two loads to try to take care of each day. Ds, who is now 11, does his own on Tuesday.
I also found I needed to prioritize. I can't do everything well. So, nutritious meals for my family, a clean bathroom and kitchen,, homeschooling and playtime, and an attempt at exercise ended up being the things I needed to concentrate on. The dust is taking over my living room. The toys are always all over--unless we have company. Most rooms are not my mom's standard of cleanliness--oh well.
I also got a Roomba and Scooba and they are my best friends. They were worth every penny I paid(And used the 20% off coupon at Bed, Bath and Beyond, too!). My Roomba runs every day at least once, usually twice and I am so grateful that the majority of vacuuming gets done without a lot of my time.
I remember when we lived in a small condo--680 sq feet for 2 adults one small child and a dog--it was hard. But we did have some basement storage and I ended up rotating toys in big plastic bins. No matter what though, we were cluttered. Small home and small kids=clutter. At least for us.
Hope some of that helps you. Hang in there.
Anne
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Nov 24 2008 at 10:07pm | IP Logged
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Maggie - Don't be overwhelmed! It's much easier to declutter a smaller space! You're at an advantage!
Think of one room and tackle only one room at a time! Step back and ask yourself how you want that room to function - what is that room's purpose? Allow for the practical purpose of the room, but also consider that each room should have an element of beauty and reminder of the supernatural within, so consider the placement of art or other holy reminders as you plan and consider.
Start with your kitchen maybe. You could completely empty your cupboards and reload them thoughtfully a bit at a time. If you haven't used something in a year - gift it to someone else. You can accomplish a total room declutter in a weekend. Having that room decluttered and simplified will inspire and motivate you to move on. Really consider what is necessary for functionality, beauty, and allow for some sentimental saves.
It is really nice to do this if you have an overflow room to purge into - like perhaps a garage or an extra bedroom. As you go through a room don't worry about whether or not an item needs to go into another room - just put it in your overflow space. That frees you to only think of the space you're working in and only keep the items that help you accomplish that room's purpose.
So, one room at a time...and when you're done you can revisit your overflow room/piles (make sure you protect this room/piles from curious children - mine are highly sentimental and will redistribute items I was planning to give away very quickly!) to determine if the stuff there is worth keeping and might have a use somewhere else in your house or if it needs to be gifted to another family that can make good use of it. Don't be afraid to be brutal - you can throw away and give away a lot of your stuff!
I find that I can be a much better steward of my husband's money if we keep items here simple and organized. Otherwise, I buy duplicates of items and I feel I spend wastefully.
There are always going to be little things out and about with children. Try to keep toys down to those that are simplest and offer a great play return for value. Consider boxing up and storing questionable toys for several months or even a year before you consider removing toys from the house.
Invest in a number of good quality rubbermaid bins to store items you're not sure you want to keep, but can't find a purpose for anywhere in the house. Keep things in bins for a little while and let yourself have some time to consider if you want to keep something as a sentimental save, or if you're ok with gifting it to another family.
That's all I can think of for now, Maggie! Have fun - I think Advent is a lovely time to de-clutter and prepare the home!
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Nov 24 2008 at 10:22pm | IP Logged
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Someone else will be much better to help you get it all done. But when I find myself overwhelmed by a room or job.. I "put myself in the corner".. literally.. I go to the far corner of the room and clear out that corner even if all I can do is toss stuff over my shoulder
Then I have a space I can look at that is done.. and I can take a step back and see a bit more that needs to be done and I can work on those things.. and it gives me that clean spot in the room to work out from.. and by moving backwards.. you keep the rest of the room from overwhelming you.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Milehimama
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| Posted: Nov 25 2008 at 10:07am | IP Logged
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Oh Maggie, me too! I am a terrible housekeeper. It doesn't come naturally. I only notice sticky counters when I can't pry the cookbook off it, for example - even though my mother would have noticed the counter without even going into the kitchen and attacked it with three different sprays, LOL!
It's hard with littles to keep things "done". Nothing stays done.
I would choose ONE thing to concentrate on for a week or month and then move on. Maybe it's doing your darndest to keep up with the dishes. Or training the children to pick up their toys... for me when I was overwhelmed, I could at least know the bathroom was clean. I swished and tidied it every day without fail - I am unnaturally worried that someone will want to use the potty and I won't be ready, LOL!
We lived in a 750 sq. foot 1 bathroom apartment when I brought my 5th baby home, and the clutter was overwhelming but dadgummit, the potty was clean, LOL!
Gradually expand from there.
I've found it helpful also to try to make sure the area near the front door is cleaned up - not perfect, but if someone comes to the door I'm not embarrassed to open it.
Holly Pierlot's Mother's Rule of Life was helpful - it's like Flylady, but concentrates on the spiritual aspects of motherhood and keeping a home rather than being all nuts and bolts of how to schedule the toilet cleaning. Holly has a blog that is very encouraging.
http://www.mothersruleoflife.com/thoughts_blog.html
Another book that was helpful to me was Dom Hubert Van Zeller's "Holiness for Housewives". This is not a how to book, but more in the line of spiritual direction.
And finally, Kim at Starry Sky Ranch is a HS mom who just had baby #10. She has extensive posts on making a home management binder:
http://starryskyranch.typepad.com/starry_sky_ranch/2006/10/t he_home_mgt_jo.html
That is the first post, and she links to each section on her right sidebar.
And I found this post of hers to be useful and encouraging:
http://starryskyranch.typepad.com/starry_sky_ranch/2008/01/m ore-on-getting.html
__________________
Milehimama in Houston
Mother of 11 - 8 Church Militant and 3 Church Triumphant
Mama Says
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: Nov 25 2008 at 10:35am | IP Logged
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I take anything Jennifer writes on homemaking as God's truth.
And I think she sums it up well with her last line...
Mackfam wrote:
| I think Advent is a lovely time to de-clutter and prepare the home! |
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Amen! 
I don't have anything to add but I do sympathize. I find that as soon as I've decluttered and cleaned, by week's end the clutter as started again and the dust has settled over all the furniture. 
Regarding "making" a home, I think, in the end, it comes down to the little touches and the mother's attitude that make a house a home.
Looking forward to more input on this thread.
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: Nov 25 2008 at 10:38am | IP Logged
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Mackfam wrote:
| Start with your kitchen maybe. |
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Jennifer gave you pratical advice for cleaning and decluttering your kitchen but I wanted to add that a warm oven and tempting smells of baked goods are the things your family will remember.
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Nov 25 2008 at 11:09am | IP Logged
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oh and think outside the box. When I had only littles for instance I found that doing dishes after dinner was impossible. I was exhausted and still have littles to put to bed. and it wouldn't get done and then I'd be discouraged and not do more etc. I finally gave myself permission to get the kitchen clean once a day.. AFTER LUNCH. It was great.. if the littles would nap I could work on it then or find something for them to do.. and I had a clean kitchen to work in to fix dinner.. and I could relax after dinner with a clear conscience instead of worrying that I wasn't getting to it or that it wasn't done.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Lisa R
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| Posted: Nov 25 2008 at 3:23pm | IP Logged
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Cay Gibson wrote:
| Regarding "making" a home, I think, in the end, it comes down to the little touches and the mother's attitude that make a house a home. |
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Oh, I so need to remember this one.
__________________
God Bless!
Lisa, married to my best friend, Ray and loving my blessings Joshua (17)and Jacob(15), Hannah(7) and Rachel (5)!Holy Family Academy
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Lisa R
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| Posted: Nov 25 2008 at 3:24pm | IP Logged
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Cay Gibson wrote:
| Jennifer gave you pratical advice for cleaning and decluttering your kitchen but I wanted to add that a warm oven and tempting smells of baked goods are the things your family will remember. |
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This one, too! I sure wish I knew how to double "quote" in one post! 
__________________
God Bless!
Lisa, married to my best friend, Ray and loving my blessings Joshua (17)and Jacob(15), Hannah(7) and Rachel (5)!Holy Family Academy
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KC in TX
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JodieLyn wrote:
| oh and think outside the box. When I had only littles for instance I found that doing dishes after dinner was impossible. I was exhausted and still have littles to put to bed. and it wouldn't get done and then I'd be discouraged and not do more etc. I finally gave myself permission to get the kitchen clean once a day.. AFTER LUNCH. It was great.. if the littles would nap I could work on it then or find something for them to do.. and I had a clean kitchen to work in to fix dinner.. and I could relax after dinner with a clear conscience instead of worrying that I wasn't getting to it or that it wasn't done. |
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That's such a fantastic idea! I never thought of that. It's the one thing I make sure I do each night but I think if we ever have any more, I'll keep this in mind so I don't lost my mind each night.
__________________
KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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4Real Forums : Our Lady's Loom, Larder, and Laundry
Topic: home-making/house-cleaning
