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Donna Marie
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| Posted: June 30 2008 at 5:51pm | IP Logged
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You must know the feeling...
like a deer caught in headlights ...knowing how much you have to do and feeling like you cant manage to make your feet and hands move to get started??
I have had a difficult pregnancy and schedules and chores and consistency has been kinda rough to say the least. Lately I have been having good days and I am trying to make up for months of feeling rotten.
All I can think about is how badly the attic needs decluttering...and the basement...
and how backed up the laundry is...it doesn't help that my less than 1 year old dryer refuses to get hot and now I have to find out what "under warranty" means
I have waaay too many books in our small spaces and I don't know what to keep and what to "regift"
anyone with a game plan for gentle reconstruction efforts??
God love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 7dc +one more due 10/08!!
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God love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 9dc!!
Finding Elegant Simplicity
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: June 30 2008 at 6:26pm | IP Logged
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Blinders 
Ok that probably doesn't help much but it's always the too much to do that gets me so overwhelmed that I do nothing. Even just a single room that has gotten real messy (like when I was on the couch sick and hey if everyone got fed and diapers got changed we were good) and I walk into the room and turn around and walk out because there's just too much.
I've found that if I just focus on one thing.. one area.. even finding a corner I can start in so that I only see what's in front of me and slowly work backwards into the room.. it keeps me from seeing all that other stuff and I can manage the little bit I can see.
But sometimes.. especially with things like the attic when it's just there and you can't see it.. you have to find something to redirect your efforts.. maybe put it on your calender so that you know you'll get to it in two weeks so you can put it out of your mind for today.
Maybe haul the laundry down to the laundromat.. just to get it all caught up so that it's done and you're not distracted at home by all the other stuff. Plus then you don't have to wait on the dryer issue.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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JennGM
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| Posted: June 30 2008 at 9:29pm | IP Logged
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Great advice, Jodie.
Donna, your nesting instincts are kicking in, but you need to just have tunnel vision. Don't look at the bigger picture, which happens when you spend more time horizontal, or less functional, during pregnancy.
What do you need to keep the household running? Then add to the picture, what's next -- prepare for the baby. Then what do you need to get school started and moving in the fall? Keep your eyes focused on those goals.
My basement was haunting me in my pregnancy, too. But I couldn't physically do it. It's still not done, but somehow when you physically hold the baby, I get some priorities knocked in order in my head. The basement can wait. Being physically and mentally and emotionally here for my family is more important than letting that mess gnaw at me!
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Mackfam
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| Posted: July 01 2008 at 9:24pm | IP Logged
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Donna Marie - I know right where you are! Jenn and Jodie summed it up perfectly though. You're coming out of the funk, nesting is kicking in faster than your ability to keep up. And all of a sudden you're seeing all that needs to get done.
Keep your priorities focused on the survival needs - food for the family, clean clothes, your health and the health of the baby - for a little longer. Start restoring routine little by little. I'd start with the laundry. Catch up there first (assuming "under warranty" doesn't mean everything *but* the heating element!) From there, perhaps have the kids follow you around with a rubbermaid bin or 12 pulling books off shelves that you no longer feel you need. The laundry catch up and the bookshelf tidying seem like tasks that need to be completed to begin a new schoolyear in order. From there - plan on paper...
...lists are your friend. Make one...make several...prioritize them. It's easier to think on paper. What absolutely must be done before the baby arrives? What must be done before school starts? What must be done in order for you to do any planning for school? Be realistic - about your time and ability to complete something. I like Jodie's idea of cleaning backwards - plan backwards too. Fast forward to precious baby, and plan back from there.
Praying for you, Donna Marie! I'm glad you can even ask the question! Drop that dust rag and sit down for some lemonade a lot! That's my tried and true advice.
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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aussieannie
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| Posted: July 02 2008 at 6:41am | IP Logged
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Donna-Marie, I saw your post heading and I'm thinkin' "It's winter over here...not over there?".. Then I read what you said and I thought, wow, that is meeeee! I mean, REALLY ME, today of all days....so I haven't any advice, I just need to read, but I'm offering a prayer now for the both of us!
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Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!
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Donna Marie
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| Posted: July 03 2008 at 1:28pm | IP Logged
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THANK YOU everyone for your thoughtfulness! I am trying... maybe too hard...to find some balance in EVERYTHING. It is so funny how I feel if I have been given permission to think differently...lol..OK...so you'll have to keep it up!
Ok so I divided things into 2 parts:
mental clutter and physical clutter
I am trying to identify what falls into those categories and I was surprised to find out a few things that were making me feel like I was "caught in headlights"...
I managed to delegate one thing that was heavy on my heart...my one dd's math...to my mother who is a schoolteacher recently set free for the summer. I had a long heart-to-heart talk about her and I think my mom understands. She is making such progress and I don't want her to lose what she has gained. I didn't want my mom or anyone to get the wrong idea about her. She has some auditory and visual processing issues that have largely worked themselves out over time with diligence and I didn't want to lose that momentum or make her feel self-conscious about her abilities when she is finally doing better. My mom is probably the only one for the job.
I have been feeling ultra-responsible for too many things lately. I decided I was going to do very little every day...what a sacrifice! to deliberately do little is hard for me. I am making sleep my #1 priority and then food and cleaning issues and always making sure I get my long walk in. I was thinking of taking ONE shelf and cleaning it a day so I have something nice to look at or one problem corner that I spend a little time sorting at a time. I am keeping the attic door CLOSED and maybe I can bribe a few of the older children to tackle the basement for some extra privileges...we shall see...
I realize that one thing that was making the housework harder on me was the long talks that dh and I were having about moving. I told him the other day that talks may continue but actual works will cease until AFTER october. Money has been tight and we saw moving as a way to make things easier on our family. Here we can make too little and have to spend too much and we still don't have the room that we want. There is just too much work to do to get this place ready to go on the market. It can wait.
It is hard to believe that I will be a competent house mom again someday! My favorite phrase is...I know I will not be the only pregnant 80 yo woman...I just can't imagine not being pregnant! LOL I just don't want to be the poster child for "see? THAT is why you don't...fill in the blank with:
"have too many children" or some other related subject...
I have been doing so very well sleep wise until last night...the jitters were ultra present and I had to get most of my rest after 6am! at least I got to some of the general ick in the kitchen ...I had been putting off...but I hate having to do it then...I want to be up when the kids are! and now I am left with the lovely feeling of being afraid to try it all again tonight..the resting part. I mean. I wish there were something I could do to make the time go faster so this little man could make his grand entrance. I feel so old some days...
I am trying to think as simple as possible for the beginning of the school year too. I think using a planner with each child and keeping learning as mess free as possible is what I have to do. I'll save the creative stuff for after I recover after the birth. That is also hard for me because I love Montessori-ish projects! I wish I could shake the "Ihavetodoeverythingthatlooksgood-itis" so many choices so little time! ..ah! there I go again!...meanwhile I am going to streamline the main living areas to make them easier to maintain one baby step at a time!...that and make the kids enjoy the outdoors more often!
God love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 7dc + one more due 10/08!
__________________
God love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 9dc!!
Finding Elegant Simplicity
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: July 03 2008 at 2:18pm | IP Logged
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Donna, my Mom just passed away this Spring and the thing that continually haunted her over the years was her inability to organize and clean her overstuffed attic and basement...you know what, her life was not dramatically different because she never got to those trouble spots which always bothered her. After she died, we all got together at various times and knocked out the attic and basement in much less time than my Mom or any of us ever dreamed possible. My point in sharing this with you is that even if you NEVER clean your attic or basement your family can still have rich, full, meaningful lives...what matters MOST is your relationships with your family AND bringing that new little one into the world! Basements and attics can always wait...time with your family goes by much too quickly!
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4Real Forums : Our Lady's Loom, Larder, and Laundry
Topic: Ever feel "frozen"?
