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JennGM
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I'm at my wits end. My son is 3, very strong-willed (of course, I haven't met a 3yo who isn't).
He successfully potty trained this summer for a couple of weeks...but going wet only. Right before the potty training he had some stomach bug and got very constipated and painful, and that started a downward spiral of not wanting to go #2. So potty-training went downhill, as he wouldn't want to sit on the potty just in case #2 would come out. He would wet, I would have to remind him to go to the bathroom, it was struggle, and he was obviously not willing, so we put it all aside.
He's still having major issues with constipation. First of all, he has a limited diet, no eggs, wheat or milk products. But he's also very picky, so he's not eating too much of the fruits or veggies department. We push it, but he's not buying. I can't seem to find foods that he'll enjoy.
He's on some prescription stool softener we add to water, but I hate giving it to him on a regular basis. But he just holds it and holds it. He's now afraid it will hurt.
Dh wants to get back on the potty training schedule, but I don't see a change.
So some questions -- any helpful hints? Any child-friendly suggestions to add to a diet that might help this? Positive reinforcement?
I know I've failed him here. The irony is that I did the SAME thing to my mother growing up, and was so exasperated that she did the "one of these days you'll have a child and then..." 
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Jennifer G. Miller
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chicken lady
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First Jenn let me say you have not failed him!! I too have a 3 yr old son, and MY Oh My, what a character.
Now one off the top of my head thought, I see milk products are out, does this include yogurt? I was thinking you could put yogurt covered raisins in a plastic Easter egg and IF he sits on the pot he can open a egg.....voila you get him to eat fiber! Would that work? I will keep thinking, if not yogurt raisins than grapes in the egg,or some fun dried fruit.
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Natalia
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I remember my brother had some constipation issues growing up. My mother made him drink a glass of prune juice every night. It seems to help...
Natalia
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SuzanneG
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My 3 oldest girls have all had constipation problems at some time or another anytime between ages 9 mo - 2 years. Here is a recipe for "fruit paste" (referred to in our house as "poop paste"  ) that came from my MD pediatrician. who is very holistic-oriented. It's practically magic  and it's all just "natural" to help their bodies through this.
8 oz. dried prunes
8 oz raisins
2 oz. senna tea leaves (purchase in health food stores or herbal store)
1/2 c. prune juice
1/4 c. brown sugar
1/4 c. lemon juice
2 1/2 c. water
Bring fruit, lemon juic, tea leaves and water slowly to a boil in a sauce pan. boil for 15-20 minutes. remove from heat and add brown sugar. allow to cool. using a mixer or food processor, blend fruit mixture into a smooth paste while gradually adding the prune juice. Place in a container and store in freezer.
Note: fruit paste will not solidify but will remain consistency of ice cream.
Dose: 1-2 t. every morning. remove dose from container and let stand at room temp for 5-10 minutes. this helps to soften the paste. eat plain, mixed in with something or spread over toast, muffin or cracker. Increase or decrease dose as needed.
recipe makes about 4 3/4 cups.
Note: I asked if I could take this for constipation problems during preg....NO! Senna tea leaves are contra-indicated for preg women.
HTH,
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Suzanne in ID
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alicegunther
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Potty training my girls? No problem. 
Potty training my son? Let's just say it was a challenge.
You haven't failed him! This response doesn't help with your question, but know that I am cheering for you! 
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Brew yourself a cup of tea, and come for a visit!
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JennGM
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I think using the word "constipated" is a misnomer. His stools aren't dry and hard. He just holds it in until he can't any more.
He eats a banana everyday and raisins, soy yogurt is an option for him, too.
I dislike the battles over food and drink. He got to be so picky overnight!
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Jennifer G. Miller
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mathmama
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I did this as a kid. My mom would put me in a warm bath and I couldn't hold it anymore and I would go (not in the tub thankfully). My sister also did this with her son. It didn't work all the time, but it did sometimes. You might want to try it. I guess it especially works when things get especially bad. Good luck!
Beth
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JennGM
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mathmama wrote:
| I did this as a kid. My mom would put me in a warm bath and I couldn't hold it anymore and I would go (not in the tub thankfully). My sister also did this with her son. It didn't work all the time, but it did sometimes. You might want to try it. I guess it especially works when things get especially bad. Good luck! |
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Beth, thanks for that. I just read last night in the child health book whose name escapes me to try sitting in a warm bath with Epsom Salt...and your note confirms I should try that.
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Jennifer G. Miller
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Mary Chris
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The warm baths worked like a charm for Carter when he went through this stage. Unfortunately he never made it to the toilet. Also, try taking him for a walk or have him ride his trike, exercise is also helpful.
I will also add one day Carter woke up and said, "I want to wear big boy pants." I had a trip to CostCo planned that day and big boy pants were not on my plan. He wore them and never looked back.
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kingvozzo
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JennGM wrote:
| He eats a banana everyday and raisins, soy yogurt is an option for him, too. |
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I think bananas tend to be binding, maybe you could cut down to 1/2 a day, and maybe increase the raisins a bit? Raisins tend to loosen up my kids.
When my oldest was having "troubles," the dr. recommended a teaspoon of corn syrup to help things along. It had a mild laxative effect--very successful.
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SuzanneG
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so, it sounds like it's a "fear-thing" as opposed to his stool REALLY being hard and painful. yes?
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Suzanne in ID
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JennGM
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suzgallus wrote:
| so, it sounds like it's a "fear-thing" as opposed to his stool REALLY being hard and painful. yes? |
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Heavy sigh. Yes. It's a big production.
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Jennifer G. Miller
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kingvozzo
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I think a lot of the fear could be removed if he were able to have some nice, comfy experiences on the toilet. I think w/o intervention, it does turn into a vicious cycle... Some of the suggestions sound like they could really help increase the urgency he feels. Even though you say he's not truly constipated, if he's able to put off doing what he needs to do, it gets much more uncomfortable.  Poor little guy---it's sad to see them uncomfortable!
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I can’t believe I just wrote so much about Poop!!!! Here are a couple (or maybe a lot) of thoughts:
Maybe talking about it, educating him about it. Give him verbiage to talk about it, so it’s not so scary.
Getting a body picture out, showing where the food goes in what it does. Be light hearted and funny and non-chalant when you do this. No seriousness allowed!!!!!
“when you eat food, it goes down here, then it gets “digested” which means it becomes very very very little. Your body uses the food to help you grow. That’s how you get taller!
But some of the food you don’t need, so it gets pooped out. That’s how God made your body, He made it so that it is easy for you to poop out what you don’t need. We don’t want all that “extra” stuff in there, so God made a hole for it to come out. Isn’t that great how god made our bodies? So, you don’t have to be afraid of it, it’s how god made you! You don’t need to hold it in….because then it might hurt more later. When mommy feels like I have to poop, I go RIGHT AWAY, I don’t wait! Sometimes I might even RUN to the bathroom like this.” ( Then run!!!!)
“When you have to poop, sometimes you ‘push’ a little.” My dh talks about this with them, maybe grimaces and then they joke about it. “isn’t that silly? What a silly face !”
But explain that it COULD HURT and have a game plan:
“Sometimes you have to push a little to get the poop out, sometimes not at all. sometimes it hurts, this is called “constipated”. You can tell me when it hurts….you just say, “mom, I’m constipated” and then I’ll help you. And, the best thing you can do is to do something else…we call this “distracted”, so you don’t think about it…then God will do it for you!
So, what are some of the things we can do if it hurts? “
Maybe he’ll think of things he likes to do so you sort of has a game plan. Ie: read a book, eat something he really likes.
Maybe go to a bookstore and buy ANY book he wants and that becomes the “constipation book”. ONLY read when it hurts.
Have a certain treat that he will eat while he’s pooping (there;s that distraction again).
My girls will call from the toilet, “Mom, I’m constipated, I think I need a prune!.” The actual prune at that moment doesn’t do it, but the fact that eating relaxes them. sometimes they actually get smart and ask for a cookie!
Have a basket with special things ready if he indeed IS constipated and it hurts….that might make him feel like “OK, so if it DOES hurt, this is what we’ll do.” Maybe this makes is less scary.
We have actually been known to have a “tea party” in the bathroom when someone is constipated. I’ve been known to do a dance or sing a song really loudly. Make faces, get dressed up in costumes. It’s basically a party while you’re having trouble pooping.
Could you put him on the toilet at the same time every day, maybe several times a day…put him on the toilet while you do something else in the bathroom.. Just let him hang out on the toilet while you do something else. Sing songs, be silly. Brush your teeth. “OK I’m going to brush my teeth and you can just sit on the toilet.” having the pelvis tilted relaxes the body and actually makes it easier and more comfortable to poop (remember my #1 dd was born on the toilet?)
Be funny about how animals poop. List the animals and say that they all poop. Make it funny and light hearted.
Once you “talk” about it and have the "game plan" laid out (give him the verbiage)…..don’t focus on it. Act non-chalant about it. You want it to seem like just “something else” you do throughout the day. If he brings it up, fine. Talk about it like it’s “no big deal.”
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esperanza
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JennGM wrote:
| ... I just read last night in the child health book whose name escapes me to try sitting in a warm bath with Epsom Salt...and your note confirms I should try that. |
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Jenn,
The epsom salts baths worked for my two that went through this.
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mellyrose
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My oldest has a problem with constipation. The "p" fruits help the most -- prunes, pears, peaches. Bananas can be binding and make it harder to go.
He still eats pureed prunes and pears on a regular basis -- it's an easy snack and helps keep him regular. He'll also drink prune juice mixed with 7Up, but he'd rather not - so it's a last resort type option :)
Also, plenty of water. I encourage water drinking, and also insist on a glass of water before another beverage is drunk (like juice or milk).
Good Luck ;)
Melanie
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doris
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I'm not quite sure whether your son needs physical or emotional help, but still...
If emotional, how about stickers? I know lots of people are critical of reward systems, but a special potty sticker really motivated my son (who also hated to poo, so just waited till he had his night time nappy on...).
If physical, maybe cranial osteopathy might help? My friend's dd had terrible constipation despite being a vegan and eating tons and tons of fruit and veg. A couple of trips to the osteopath really sorted her out.
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KASB
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My almost 5 year old boy had the same problem when he was 3 also. He would just not go since he was afraid it would hurt and of course the longer he went, the more painful it was when he finally went. We tried everything that has been mentioned with few results. He would sometimes go in the warm tub, but even that wasn't often. He would get very lethargic and grumpy and get circles under his eyes. I would use a suppository at that point and I usually had to do it twice. That was dreadful for both of us. What finally worked for us was to give him a dose of Little Tummies Laxative every night. He didn't like the taste at first, but we called it his "warrior medicine" ( when we tried prune jusice we called it the drink of a warrior - Star Trek Next Generation fans will know why ) After a couple of weeks he was going regularly, but he had to take it every night. I was worried about using a laxative long term, but in doing a bit of research about chronic constipation in children seemed to indicate it would not be harmful. We continued the dose every night for serveral months and he is now able to go without a problem.
I'll keep your little guy ( and you) in my prayers!
Blessings,
Kym
mom to 9 - 8 boys (24,14,10,9,7,4,3,17 mos.) and 1 girl(22)
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Lavenderfields
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Jen,
My ds21 had problems when we introduced bananas. Bananas are one of the foods you give to help with loose stools. If your son already has allergies, you might want to try eliminating them from his diet for a while to see if it would help. My son is also allergic to advacados. These two foods seem to produce the same symptons in my ds.
God Bless
Robynn
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MaryM
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So many wise words here. Suzanne, I can't believe you wrote so much about poop either - but it is a great post, filled with wonderful, gentle advise from a very wise mommy. I would second that type of approach.
Jenn, since you have clarified that it is more of a just holding it issue than constipation I would just add that it very common to train in one area and have a very difficult time with the other. And it wouldn't be unusual to have a backslide on the one where he was previously successful because due to the negative experience this summer with the pain. Really, don't beat yourself up for this (and relax, too). He is still barely over three. I have only had one child who potty trained before three. It amazes me when I hear of little ones training early (before three seems early from my personal experiences). Three of mine were closer to 3 1/2 ish when they decided they were ready. So again, I am drawn to the approach Suzanne suggested - just try to provide the opportunties, make it kind of fun, no pressure, etc.
As far as food - you said it wasn't really constipation - but several people I know have had very good luck with a "kiwi a day" approach to keeping little ones regular who were having problems.
I'll be praying for you guys.
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Mary M. in Denver
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4Real Forums : Our Lady of Good Remedy and Care
Topic: Constipation Issues
