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St. Ann Forum All-Star
Joined: Oct 20 2006 Location: Germany
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Posted: July 14 2011 at 9:58am | IP Logged
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So, I received the news today that my fibroids have grown - too much! 6cm in diameter! There are 2 that large. My Uterus is therefore enlarged and pressing on my bladder.
My doctor just told me that my uterus should be surgically removed. Because of my age they won't consider removing just the fibroids. Such a surgery is much more involved.
I asked if there was an alternative to surgery. She answered NO "and if someone tells you differently it is a lie!"
I cried.
I am 48 and know that I will not have anymore babies, also because of the fibroids I couldn't conceive! But I am mourning. I am mourning the loss of my children's first cradle, their nest, their home. I am mourning the finality of it all. I am sad for my daughters, when they hear the news, that there really truly can not be any more babies.
I haven't yet told a soul. My dh won't be home until later today.
The doctor told me that the surgery will not have an effect on my hormones. The ovaries remain intact.
Has anyone here ever had to deal with this before?
I would so appreciate your prayers and suggestions for specific prayers that I could be praying.
__________________ Stephanie
Wife and mother to Hannah '96, Maria '99, Dorothea '01, Helena '03
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guitarnan Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: Maryland
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Posted: July 14 2011 at 10:33am | IP Logged
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Although I've not had to deal with this particular health issue, I know that there are other treatments (ultrasound,uterine artery embolization).
I am praying for you.
__________________ Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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hylabrook1 Forum Moderator
Joined: July 09 2006
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Posted: July 14 2011 at 11:50am | IP Logged
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Dear Stephanie -
This is very hard news to think about. I'm sure your mourning is perfectly natural and normal - but that doesn't make it any less painful. I've not had this problem, but just realizing that I'm past my childbearing years makes me sad, too, and extremely sentimental about that time in my life that was all about babies and littles. I am praying for you.
Peace,
Nancy
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pmeilaen Forum All-Star
Joined: Sept 07 2008 Location: New York
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Posted: July 14 2011 at 10:17pm | IP Logged
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My sister had a similar operation (the one who lives in Münster). Due to the operation she is going through menopause now, although she just turned 40. She also gained quite a bit of weight.
Have you ever looked at Christiane Northrup's Site and read her book on menopause? She doesn't recommend this surgery, but suggests some alternatives.
__________________ Eva
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NMMountainMom Forum Newbie
Joined: July 05 2010 Location: New Mexico
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Posted: Aug 04 2011 at 7:09pm | IP Logged
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Oh, please don't consent to a hysterectomy!!! Your doctor is the one who is wrong. My mother suffered from severe fibroids and found a doctor who removed them all without doing a hysterectomy. She had multiple fibroids and some were the size of grapefruits. It was a few years before she reached menopause. Actually, I think she was exactly your age when they were removed. If you can get to menopause without having them return, they will likely never return. Your uterus is important even after you are done having babies. In my opinion, the ONLY reason to have a hysterectomy is cancer.
I also had a large fibroid at the same time my mother was going through her fibroid issues. It was during a pregnancy. It grew very large and necessitated a c/section for that delivery. It was removed and so far I haven't had a recurrence, though I am still young enough that they are somewhat likely to recur. I remember the pressure on my bladder. It was awful.
It's been awhile, but I'm going to see if I can pull together my fibroid resources for you.
__________________ Danielle, making it work (some days better than others) with five boys, a family business and homeschooling.
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NMMountainMom Forum Newbie
Joined: July 05 2010 Location: New Mexico
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Posted: Aug 04 2011 at 7:24pm | IP Logged
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Me again. I feel sick thinking about what your doctor told you. I went and grabbed a book off of my shelf so that I could share the title with you- it is called "Uterine Fibroids: What Every Woman Needs to Know". It is older now (2000), but it was written by the doctor who did my mom's surgery, Dr. Nelson Stringer. He did a laproscopic myomectomy and he has taught many doctors his techniques. Sadly, he passed away the day after he did my mom's surgery. But there are other doctors who are following in his footsteps. I found one here (and notice on this page he says hysterectomy is RARELY required for fibroids, contrary to what your doctor told you):
http://www.chicagofibroid.com/index_files/proven_treatments. htm
__________________ Danielle, making it work (some days better than others) with five boys, a family business and homeschooling.
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all for God Forum Rookie
Joined: Aug 01 2011 Location: Pennsylvania
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Posted: Aug 04 2011 at 7:40pm | IP Logged
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Stephanie,
I'm sooo sorry. Your story is close to my heart.
And it pains me to think about it.
I just had surgery and am still in recovery....but doing MUCH better than before my surgery.
I morned for the loss of my child bearing years and I am still in morning. My husband doesn't understand, but he is sympathetic.
I don't like to talk about it much, it makes me cry. My story is different, but still the same end result.
I have some post on our family blog about it.
If I can help in anyway, please let me know.
With understanding and heart felt compassion,
~Jennifer
__________________ Jon+Jen=15 happy yrs
6 bubbly girls + 3 lively boys =9 sillykids(ages 14 to 1)
+3 in Our Lady's care
all=
Catholic Inspired ~Arts, crafts & more
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St. Ann Forum All-Star
Joined: Oct 20 2006 Location: Germany
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Posted: Aug 04 2011 at 8:42pm | IP Logged
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Dear Jennifer,
Thank you so much for sharing your story and I will keep you in my prayers now, during your recovery.
In the midst of packing and traveling I have pushed all thoughts of my medical future aside until I really have to deal with them in September. I am really good about letting myself get distracted from what I do not want to deal with.
Jennifer
__________________ Stephanie
Wife and mother to Hannah '96, Maria '99, Dorothea '01, Helena '03
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all for God Forum Rookie
Joined: Aug 01 2011 Location: Pennsylvania
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Posted: Aug 04 2011 at 9:06pm | IP Logged
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BTW: I also agree with Danielle. If you can avoid a hysterectomy it's best. Keeping your ovaries is a very good thing but a hysterectomy can cause other problems, (Like a fallen bladder) I realize your situation may require a hysterectomy, everyone's situation is different.
I personally was able to put off a hysterectomy by getting an uterine ablation (but I had adenomyosis, not fibroids).
I may have to get a hysterectomy in 10 yrs anyway, but I wanted to wait as long as I could. (I am only 34.)
The ablation was outpatient surgery. Hysterectomy would have had me in the hospital for possibly 5+ days. The doctor was thinking he would most likely need to remove a section of my bladder, too, due to c-section scaring. I figured in 10 years I won't have the little kids to take care of and I could handle the hospital stay better.
I went to four doctors before I made my decision....Double check all your options. It will only give you peace of mind for whatever decision you make.
Again, I'm so sorry for your situation.
May God give you guidance and peace,
~Jennifer
__________________ Jon+Jen=15 happy yrs
6 bubbly girls + 3 lively boys =9 sillykids(ages 14 to 1)
+3 in Our Lady's care
all=
Catholic Inspired ~Arts, crafts & more
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all for God Forum Rookie
Joined: Aug 01 2011 Location: Pennsylvania
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Posted: Aug 04 2011 at 9:15pm | IP Logged
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St. Ann wrote:
I am really good about letting myself get distracted from what I do not want to deal with.
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That's good!!! I'm not so good about that!!
Take care of yourself and keep us posted.
I will also be praying for you.
God bless.
~Jennifer
__________________ Jon+Jen=15 happy yrs
6 bubbly girls + 3 lively boys =9 sillykids(ages 14 to 1)
+3 in Our Lady's care
all=
Catholic Inspired ~Arts, crafts & more
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Barb.b Forum All-Star
Joined: June 22 2007
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Posted: Aug 26 2011 at 11:46pm | IP Logged
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Ok I will preface this with everyone's situation is different. My uterus was so enlarged that it was 4 month preg. size. My fibroids were causing non stop period (gradually getting longer, finally lasted2 1/2 weeks then 4 weeks - right up until my surgery. Basically was non stop). Surgery (overies too cause I also had endometriosis and was needed to go) changed my life for the better! No more hormone mood swings, no more pain, no more anemia. I take a estrogen spray on my arm- one spray (nice low , consistent dose) once per day. I cooked lots and froze lots of meals before the surgery. My kids were great (then aged 17,12,7) they cleaned, kept me company, brought water and watched out for me! Anyway, just wanted to share a positive story of a hysterectomy. With me, it was needed, needed thing! My prayers are with you. It is scary. I might add there may be alternatives, but I wanted them gone once for all. Also, don't follow books that say to add progesterone (will mess you and your moods up for sure!). Also, for those without ovaries, estrogen spray is safe.
Barb
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St. Ann Forum All-Star
Joined: Oct 20 2006 Location: Germany
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Posted: Aug 27 2011 at 3:15pm | IP Logged
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Thanks Barb.
This Monday I have my 1st appt. with the Surgeon to discuss my options. I will update then.
__________________ Stephanie
Wife and mother to Hannah '96, Maria '99, Dorothea '01, Helena '03
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Barb.b Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 27 2011 at 4:53pm | IP Logged
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I will be praying for you. Like I said every ones situation is different. I just wanted to give you a little hope if it seems this is what is needed for you. PM me with any questions.
Barb
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JennGM Forum Moderator
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Posted: Aug 30 2011 at 6:45pm | IP Logged
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Barb.b wrote:
Ok I will preface this with everyone's situation is different. My uterus was so enlarged that it was 4 month preg. size. My fibroids were causing non stop period (gradually getting longer, finally lasted2 1/2 weeks then 4 weeks - right up until my surgery. Basically was non stop). Surgery (overies too cause I also had endometriosis and was needed to go) changed my life for the better! No more hormone mood swings, no more pain, no more anemia. I take a estrogen spray on my arm- one spray (nice low , consistent dose) once per day. I cooked lots and froze lots of meals before the surgery. My kids were great (then aged 17,12,7) they cleaned, kept me company, brought water and watched out for me! Anyway, just wanted to share a positive story of a hysterectomy. With me, it was needed, needed thing! My prayers are with you. It is scary. I might add there may be alternatives, but I wanted them gone once for all. Also, don't follow books that say to add progesterone (will mess you and your moods up for sure!). Also, for those without ovaries, estrogen spray is safe.
Barb
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My mother didn't have fibroids, but I also wanted to chime in that there are some cases and good health reasons to have hysterectomies. Everyone's experience can be different. After trying all sorts of alternative ways to stop the constant flow, with heavy blood loss, she finally had the hysterectomy. The conservative pro-life doctor said it was a good thing she did.
__________________ Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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St. Ann Forum All-Star
Joined: Oct 20 2006 Location: Germany
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Posted: Aug 31 2011 at 7:12am | IP Logged
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It is settled. I will be having a hysterectomy. The surgeon said that the fibroids are partly in the vaginal cavity and therefore it is much better for me and my family to have the hysterectomy. The other alternatives would be very risky for later bleeding and pain problems. I can't afford to be bedridden or unable to do my work.
The doctor was very gentle and understanding. During our talk he turned to the young nurse(22 or so) and said, "All mothers, no matter their age, struggle greatly with losing their uterus. It is the home of their babies."
Exactly.
__________________ Stephanie
Wife and mother to Hannah '96, Maria '99, Dorothea '01, Helena '03
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Barb.b Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 31 2011 at 8:05am | IP Logged
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Hugs to you Stephanie. BTDT. Let me know if you have any questions. Cause if your like me you also may be dealing with the anxiety of the surgery and recovery. Take their recovery do's and don'ts very seriously. . . do not vacuum for 6 weeks, don't go up stairs for the recommended time. . . and don't lift anything heavier then a milk cartoon! I read once that you have one chance to heal right. . . you can't go back and do the recovery over if you did to much. So, as hard as it is for us moms to sit back and do nothing but let ourselves heal - that is what you need to do - for at least 6 weeks (depending on what type of hysterectomy you are having - I had a complete old fashioned huge scar hysterectomy - no laparoscopy type for my fibroids. Your job will be to take it easy, and believe me - you will tire easily for some time so your body will have a way of reminding you!
Barb
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JennGM Forum Moderator
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Posted: Aug 31 2011 at 8:31am | IP Logged
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Hugs, Stephanie! I'll keep on praying. Heed Barb's advice. There is no rush, and the family CAN adapt to allow very good healing. I heal better and faster on good rest and not rushing it. Pushing too hard makes the healing process even longer.
__________________ Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Barb.b Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 31 2011 at 12:15pm | IP Logged
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YES!, Actually I think back with fond memories about my recovery time. I know it sounds strange, but - I had spent my days in a recliner or lounging in bed or couch (but the recliner felt best! I even slept there), the kids knew enough to be careful around mom and to be awesome helpers (kids at the time were 7, 12 and 17) There was no "to do" list, no expectations besides rest. It was a completely different time as a family. . . and having the kids come ask if they could get me anything, or even spontaneously bring me water was cool. They were overprotective! My 17 year old just didn't like the day he saw me slowly going to the mail box to get the mail - I had to tell him that at that point in my recovery the Dr. said a little walking each day was good!
I was off whatever pain med they sent me home with by the 2nd day home and just took over the counter. The stuff they sent me home with gave me the worst night mares! One about a 12 foot tall, evil nurse coming toward my bed!
Barb
Barb
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all for God Forum Rookie
Joined: Aug 01 2011 Location: Pennsylvania
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Posted: Sept 03 2011 at 12:32pm | IP Logged
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Hi Stephanie
I've been away for a little while...so I missed your news until now. I'm sorry for your situation, but I'm sure that after your recovery you will be glad for it.
Just to update you:
I had said I was recovering from my surgery, which was a uterine ablation. I must say I think I made a mistake not getting the hysterectomy. My personal situation does not seem cured as the doctors said it would. I'm still getting some nasty cramping and my periods are still at least 10 days long! Although they are lighter and more manageable. Lighter is good, but I'm still on the heavier side.
I feel guilty complaining when I am better; but the doctor told me I would not have cramps and if I had a period it would be only a few days long. So I was expecting to be better then just *a little* better.
I was told to wait till October to see what happens, but so far things are not looking good. I only have another month and the cramping is not going away. I'm curious as to how my next period will be.
So if a uterine ablation was a possible option for your situation, I'm glad for you that you are getting the hysterectomy. I have a feeling that at some point I will be getting one, too.
I will be praying for you. May you have a good surgery, a skilled doctor, and a quick recovery.
God bless.
~Jennifer
__________________ Jon+Jen=15 happy yrs
6 bubbly girls + 3 lively boys =9 sillykids(ages 14 to 1)
+3 in Our Lady's care
all=
Catholic Inspired ~Arts, crafts & more
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St. Ann Forum All-Star
Joined: Oct 20 2006 Location: Germany
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Posted: Sept 03 2011 at 3:58pm | IP Logged
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My surgery is scheduled for October 21st. My dh will be able to be home for the 2 weeks beginning that day.
We couldn't set an earlier date because we have tickets to see the Pope later this month in Erfurt Germany. I wasn't willing to miss that.
Barb, Jennifer and Jenn, I am really thankful for all that you have shared with me about your own experiences. I feel like you are sharing your own Guardian Angel's protection and loving arms with me.
__________________ Stephanie
Wife and mother to Hannah '96, Maria '99, Dorothea '01, Helena '03
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