4Real Forums: chores and earning priviledges

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Nurturing the Years of Wonder ( Forum Locked)
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Topic: chores and earning priviledges

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dolorsofmary
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Joined: Jan 17 2010
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Posted: April 28 2010 at 9:52am \| IP Logged

In our discussions on my threads about not raising a brat (my brat

is 4.5 yrs old little boy) does some chores but I am going to step them up more now that he is older. My question lies with the completion and rewarding if at all for doing the chores. I believe he should NOT be rewarded for doing family work, that is chores. I would like to give him an allowance sooner than later but husband wants to wait till he is atleast 6 yrs old. I hope he gives in by his 5th bday (August) Anyway someone suggested that we should have him earn stickers or something other than money for doing chores. ANd after getting a set amount then he gets some tv time or something else but nothing that costs money. I like the idea of him earning and realizing how he has to get to things rather than instant gratification but I don't like the idea that he gets paid for family work. Your ideas here please. Any compromise on this maybe where I can have my cake and eat it too? THank you!

Christine
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Posted: April 28 2010 at 10:17am \| IP Logged

Our children definitely have chores, but they do not earn anything for doing them. I read a lot of Maria Montessori's books (thanks to my mom and Moira Farrell) after my first child was born and I think that she was wise when she shared that children do not need exterior rewards in order to do something. Doing a chore well is a reward within itself. My husband and I do comment occasionally when we see a chore that has been done well.

Perhaps if your son does a job that is not on his chore list (weeding, etc.), you can pay him. We have only recently started paying any of our children. Our oldest is paid for babysitting her siblings. Prior to that she only received money when she lost a tooth and from generous grandparents.

Good luck figuring out what you should do.

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JaysFamily
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Posted: April 28 2010 at 10:55am \| IP Logged

My son is younger than yours, so I don't know yet if my approach to this works or not, but I don't give rewards for chores. I will thank him if he helps me with mine. I focus on the natural rewards of chores. If he can't find a toy, I mention that he needs to put away his other toys. When we don't take care of our things, they get broken, lost, etc. Once we've picked up the toys, I'll point out that we found the lost toy, and that usually makes him pretty happy. Another natural reward for doing chores is that it leaves us with the chance to play, read a book, visit with friends, etc once we're done. I'm just trying to leave him with the sense that good things naturally come from work, because work pleases God.

ekbell
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Posted: April 28 2010 at 8:11pm \| IP Logged

I don't reward my children for doing family chores but there are certain privilages (such as watching a movie or playing computer games) which are only allowed after certain chores are done.

My children do have the opportunity to earn extra money doing items that are not part of their regular chores (yard work, particular cleaning jobs, items which I'm happy to pay someone else to do).

JodieLyn
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Posted: April 28 2010 at 9:30pm \| IP Logged

Yes, we don't pay for chores.. there are some jobs I'm willing to pay for though.

But also I try and make sure that my kids also know the good things they get as part of the family.. the family shares the work and the rewards. If we get to buy pizza for dinner, if they get new clothes, if we get to go on a trip, if they get to play sports.. those are all benefits of being in our family as well as the work involved that we all share.

Oh and babysitting for family things that aren't extras like dentist appointments or grocery trips or such.. is part of the work of the family that we share.

Babysitting because mom and dad are going out for a treat or soemthing like that is extra and will be paid.. but sometimes it's paid for with a treat rather than money

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