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dolorsofmary
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| Posted: Feb 26 2010 at 4:11am | IP Logged
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Thank you for your advice! ITs fantastic! My husband and I discussed everything and he has a legitamit concern. Here it is, I hope you can edify with your stories, inputs, etc.
His concern is that our son would be given carte blanche to do what he wants with the portion of the allowance that is not tithed or saved. He cites the following:
When I was little I was given an allowance. I was/am a good saver but with the portion that I spent I would spent like a whopping $1.00 on penny candy and this is quite a few decades a go. THen I would proceed to eat the whole bag of candy in 1 sitting. No one inspected, checked, etc. Of course we would have to see what our son uses the money on and perhaps step in and put some controls on it. But it is 'his money'. How do you all deal with this? I feel it is best to 'share control' with children so they have a sense of ownership. Your ideas please? Thank you!
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JSchaaf
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| Posted: Feb 26 2010 at 4:51am | IP Logged
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I have this same problem with allowances for my three girls. Their "free spend" money works out to about $10 for a month. And now that they are allowed to bike to the Dollar Tree...
My husband wanted to put firm limits on what they could/could not buy with that money. I felt that since the money was freely given to them that they should be able to decide and that eventually they would realize that if they spent all their cash on dollar store junk that first week there would be consequences...
It took three or four months but it has sunk in. For example, clothes. Dh and I provide a more than ample wardrobe that is clean, basic and modest (and a little stylish-they're not wearing flour sacks). If we go to the thrift store and see a shirt they just LOVE and HAVE to HAVE or they will JUST DIE then they need to use their money to get it. Or going to the used book store and not having any money left to buy THAT BOOK THEY BEEN WAITING FOR FOREVER, MOM, AND CAN'T YOU BUY IT FOR ME JUST THIS ONCE? If the book is not on my list then the answer is no-we'll have to come back next month and see if they still have it. And Walmart or Target-if something is not on my list going into the store I do not buy it. I sit with the girls and we make up the shopping list together so things we really NEED are on there. So when they ask me to buy something for them in the store I can just say "No, it's not on the list". This goes for me, too. Often I'll see something I need/want but didn't write on the list and I will tell the girls the rules work for me, too.
The girls (ages 10, 9 and 7) each get $20 on the first of each month. It sounds extravagant but when I added up all the little things I was buying for them that were wants, not needs, it added up to alot more. They are required to give 10% back to God (right now they are filling up the Operation Rice Bowl containers) and put 10% into their savings account. DH and I agreed to match 100% of what they choose to put into savings, so when Allyson wanted to deposit her whole $18 last month I gave her another $18 to deposit as well. She's the kid who's figuring out how fast money can grow in the bank. There is a branch bank in our grocery store and I opened accounts for the kids there to they could do the actually depositing of their hard earned cash. Oh, and allowances around here are all cash. We tried coupons or tickets and they would get lost. They tend to take better care of cash (I get to keep any I find lying around!) and I think they think more about their spending if it involves actual hard currency.
Well, that was long and rambling but I hoped it helped. I believe that if the money is freely given as an allowance then it is your son's to decide how it's spent. Of course, when my girls are teenagers and decided that they want to use their money to get a tattoo we can come back and revisit this conversation!
Jennifer
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ekbell
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| Posted: Feb 26 2010 at 6:31pm | IP Logged
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My first thought is that the occasional bout of candy eating isn't horrible 
It doesn't do a lot of overall damage (it's gone too fast to seriously harm teeth) and the consequences of overeating are fairly easy to determine.
But then I have fond memories of spending some of my allowance on penny candy as a child.
Overall my feelings on allowances or monetary gifts given directly to a child is that it should be the child's to spend, save or donate subject limited only by household rules pertaining to morality or health.
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Teachin'Mine2
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| Posted: Feb 26 2010 at 8:13pm | IP Logged
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This is what we've done in the past to encourage dd to save. We'd be in a store, and there was something she really wanted, but didn't have enough money. We'd offer to pay half if she would be able to save the other half. Sure enough, for a few weeks, instead of buying something that costs a dollar or two here and there, she saved her money and was thrilled with getting something she really wanted. She's been great at saving ever since.
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MichelleW
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| Posted: Feb 27 2010 at 3:49am | IP Logged
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We have been doing this with our kids for a few months now. My kids are 10, 11, and 12. They each get $2.50/week from us. The purpose of the allowance is not to give them money, but to teach them how to handle money. These are the categories:
Tithe 10%
Short Term Savings 20%
Long Term Savings 20%
Investment 20%
Living Expenses 20%
Spending Money 20%
At this time the only Living Expenses they need to cover are deodorant and toothpaste.
The boys cleaned out the barn this winter and dh paid them a good wage for it. That was divided into the pre-defined categories. Gifts of money for birthdays, etc., go into short term savings and spending.
The "Spending Money" category is completely controlled by the child. We exercise control over the other categories, but we decided that part of learning to handle money is making your own mistakes. We would like them to experience regret while they are dealing with small amounts. Hopefully youthful foolishness and remorse will help them to make wiser choices when they handle larger amounts.
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Michelle
Mom to 3 (dd 14, ds 15, and ds 16)
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Karen T
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| Posted: March 04 2010 at 3:07pm | IP Logged
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JSchaaf wrote:
DH and I agreed to match 100% of what they choose to put into savings, so when Allyson wanted to deposit her whole $18 last month I gave her another $18 to deposit as well. She's the kid who's figuring out how fast money can grow in the bank.
Jennifer |
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We have always done something like this, too, to encourage saving, esp b/c savings accts these days pay so pitifully little interest it's not even noticeable on a child's account (it's hardly noticeable on OUR accounts!)
But what we ran into was ds putting his money into his account, and us adding (we added $1 for every 5 put in) but then the following month he'd be withdrawing all of it and spending it on something. Do you have any limits on how long it must be left in savings? We've gone to a system where if they don't leave it in at least 3 months, there is a 50% penalty of the amount we've added. But it's getting so complicated to keep track of!
One other thing I want to mention that we plan to start for our oldest, now almost 17 and working at a part-time job. He's saving for a car but of course once he has enough that will wipe out most of his savings for awhile. We want him to know the power of longterm savings and especially of early retirement contributions, so if we're able at the end of the year we're going to start an IRA for him equal to the amount he makes this first year. Even if it's awhile before he can contribute much to it himself, seeing the huge power of compounding will hopefully motivate him. There are all kinds of online calculators that show you the difference between putting some in very early on, vs trying to play catch-up later. Just a thought for those olders!
Karen T
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: March 04 2010 at 3:34pm | IP Logged
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A mom of 12 gave a talk at our homeschool conference last year and this is what she wrote about ALLOWANCE:
10% to saving, 10% to charity. They can purchase anything they'd like. EXCEPT: junk food.
They tell their children:
Quote:
| When you are older, you'll be responsible for your own insurance, and THEN you can determine what you'll eat and drink. |
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Suzanne in ID
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Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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4Real Forums : Nurturing the Years of Wonder
Topic: allowance tips - tweak needed
