4Real Forums: playing with friends

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Nurturing the Years of Wonder ( Forum Locked)
4Real Forums : Nurturing the Years of Wonder

Topic: playing with friends

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ozlouise
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Joined: July 06 2007
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Posted: Oct 24 2007 at 6:38am \| IP Logged

I wasn't sure what to call this post. I'm hoping someone can drop some pearls of wisdom my way.

I HS my almost 7yo (along with younger dd). He has never been to school. He is involved in some group and sporting activities and we get together with friends. He has a high need to be with other children. He has always been like this and I try to make opportunities for him to meet this need.

We have, in the last couple of months, had two families move into the street with kids around his age. This has been great. They all play well together. Their parents are lovely. The kids can roam around the three houses and have a lovely time. I love this and the kids have a great time.

The flip side is that DS seems to spend the whole day counting down the hours until they get home from school and it is driving me crazy

All day, I get the questions and the anticipation. Aside from working on his ability to tell the time

, what is going to save my sanity?

SuzanneG
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Joined: June 17 2006
Location: Idaho
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Posted: Oct 24 2007 at 2:52pm \| IP Logged

I completely hear you and empathize! I had this with my oldest dd-6.5, esp last year when her next door friend went to K all day. It was VERY frustrating.

DH and I decided that we considered it "nagging" and told her that if she kept talking about it and asking questions, then she wouldn't be able to play at 3:30.

We prefaced by saying something like: “We are so happy that you have friends your age in the neighborhood that are so fun to play with and we are so blessed to live here next to her/them. It’s so fun having playmates and friends. But, they go somewhere else to school. When Daddy was little, he had a neighbor who had a friend who went to a different school and he missed him. I’m sure you miss your friends too! But, you’ll have LOTS OF time to play with them when they come home.” Then onto the “if/then” part.

We also said that if she stopped nagging/talking about it for a week, then we’d have a special popcorn party one day next week when everyone came home, as a reward.

It was also something I had to "bring in the big guns" for (aka: dh). I was too annoyed and emotional about it all, so it helped that he was in on it.

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Suzanne in ID
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Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)

Lori B
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Posted: Oct 25 2007 at 10:52am \| IP Logged

My son is almost 10, he *can* tell time, and he still drives us all nuts

We had to do the same as Suzanne, and create consequences for reapeated pestering. We also had the problem of him not wanting to do any work after lunch, since he thought he might 'miss' his friends (even though they are not home until almost 4:00).

We have been using our oven timer, setting it after lunch so that he knows how many hours he has to accomplish his schoolwork, chores, etc. before his friends will be home. We also try to get out for a walk (sometimes a nature walk) in the late afternoon. We like a walk anyway, and it helps to distract him.

My son has ADHD, and is borderline OCD, so we are used to his obsessions- this one has been particularily difficult to sort out, but things seem to be going more smoothly now.

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22yod, 16yod (Asperger's), 14yos (dyslexia, APD, ADHD), and 11yod (JXG, glaucoma, legally blind)

ozlouise
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Posted: Oct 25 2007 at 7:04pm \| IP Logged

I will take your advice and your empathy

We go out to a couple of afternoon activities and he obsesses about whether he will be home in time to play!!! I'm definately implementing that advice.

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