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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Aug 29 2007 at 9:26pm | IP Logged
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Things are going swimmingly here with one exception that I hope you ladies can help me with, namely fostering independence.
My dd is doing very well with the materials, but she is very dependent on me to do presentations in order to know what to do at any given time during the day. She has a lot of trouble choosing work for herself and is constantly asking me what she needs to do next. If I ask her to choose something for herself she just kind of stares blankly and then ends up playing around and not choosing. Then I have to redirect her to the shelves and eventually end up choosing for her.I don't have a problem with that really, it's just that my choosing for her kind of misses the point, you know, "freedom within limits" and all that?
I realize part of it is her age, part of it is that this is all new and a routine needs to be established, part of it is that I do have times when I want her to do specific work (its not ALL free choice around here), and part of it is that I need to do more presentations so she has a wider range of work from which to choose. So I am presenting things regularly and keeping a routine, and gently guiding. And I know I need to give it time, but I just would like to hear suggestions as to what else I can do to foster independence in my dd as far as making her own choices of work when it is appropriate for her to do so.
In a related issue, she also is constantly seeking my approval of her work. She will do her work and rather than be satisfied on her own that the work is done well, she always asks me "Is this right, Mommy?" Even when the material is self-correcting. I try to ask her if she thinks it is right, encourage her to check it herself, and tell her I don't need to check it in order for her to know it is right, but she seems very unsatisfied with that. In a way I understand, she is just seeking approval, and I don't mind that in a child so young as I think it is very natural, but I wonder if there is some thing I am missing as far as encouraging her to be more confident in her own work.
So...any tips for fostering independence in choosing work, and encouraging self-correcting?
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Land O' Cotton
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| Posted: Aug 29 2007 at 9:56pm | IP Logged
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I wish I knew the answer too. I know that for my dgs if I leave it up to him to choose, he will choose to play with cars! I really hoped it would work in a similar way to the setup for a Montessori classroom (moving from materials as he chooses), but that hasn't happened yet.
I have noticed that the materials seem to become more interesting to him in the evenings after supper. He loves to trace insets, and work with the constructive triangles then. I wish I knew how to get him that interested in the mornings!
You know, maybe she is still getting used to the self-correcting aspect of the materials. Once she sees that this is indeed correct, maybe she will question you less and less as she builds confidence in herself with her work.
Sorry I don't really have any answers, but this is a great question, and I'm anxious to hear what others have to say!
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Vicki
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marianne
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| Posted: Aug 30 2007 at 7:39am | IP Logged
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In the classroom, the teacher isn't totally available to the children for support, since she is busy helping others and watching over 25 kids. At home, your dd (is she about 6?) has your almost undivided attention, which is good, but maybe she's just used to that.
What if you left her for short work periods that could be gradually increased as she gets more independent? Make a presentation, then tell her you need to go take care of some laundry or something, but that you want her to keep working with her materials until you come back. Maybe you could hire Superboy as a spy and he could inform you how she uses her time.
If she just wanders and finds something pointless to do (btdt with my own), you could make a short list of options to get her going. I noticed that in one of Lillard's books, she (or another teacher) had the children keep journals, and in the back, she had little lists going of the work that they could choose if they weren't sure what to do. I started my kids out with a whiteboard with lots of options, but I think I'm going to narrow that down and change it up every week, since they are *very* consistently choosing the "serve a healthy snack" and "play with the baby" options, over more academic stuff. If JBug isn't reading, you could draw simple pictures of several activities that she could do, and leave that out on the table.
I can't believe I'm being so bold as to try and give you advice, Theresa! You are doing such a fabulous job in your homeschool, I am learning so much from your blog! Have a good day!
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Land O' Cotton
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| Posted: Aug 30 2007 at 7:46am | IP Logged
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Great ideas, Marianne! And I agree that it's hard to imagine giving advice to Theresa. She's the one we're all looking up to around here. Her blog is amazing, and I've also learned so much from there. Now putting it into practice here with my dgs is another story...he's a little "whirling dervish" (think Tasmanian devil  ), and our days don't quite look like hers. But I can always dream, can't I?
I love the journal and whiteboard ideas. I've got to read through my Lillard book again.
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Vicki
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Aug 30 2007 at 9:02am | IP Logged
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Please, please, please don't feel that way, ladies! I am flattered and humbled, but truly I am just learning and feeling my way along with everyone else. There are so many awesome women on this board with a wealth of advice, ideas, and encouragement and we can all learn from each other! Whether newbie or veteran we are all on the same path together!
Marianne, your ideas are great! I especially like the one about just walking way for awhile and seeing how it goes. I do have a tendency to hover and I know I need to back off sometimes!
She just turned 6 a couple of days ago and isn't reading yet, but I think that making it more clear to her what her choices are, perhaps verbally reminding her each morning, would be a good option.
Keep the advice coming, ladies!
And Vicki, thanks for reminding me that she is indeed still getting used to this "self-correcting" stuff and I need to give it time. Very sound advice!
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
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Meredith
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| Posted: Aug 30 2007 at 9:48am | IP Logged
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This is so great, I LOVE how we can all encourage each other. I do remember reading in the Lillard "Montessori in the Classroom" book that she did ALOT of re-directing and *helping* the children choose in the beginning months, and you've only been at it for truly a week or so. I think you're doing grande my dear!!
I also know that until we get SEVERAl presentations on the many different subjects, it will be a while until my little guys will feel confident to choose something without my having to prod and prompt. It's all part of the learning curve.
One thing I'm going to institute is when a work is not being chosen for him to look at a picture book or listen to a story on tape quietly so as to build respect for others who are actually working. And I'm hoping this will mean that he's not constantly saying *what next* mommy if I can't present to him at that immediate moment. Just a thought....
Blessings!
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Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Aug 30 2007 at 12:38pm | IP Logged
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Meredith wrote:
One thing I'm going to institute is when a work is not being chosen for him to look at a picture book or listen to a story on tape quietly so as to build respect for others who are actually working. And I'm hoping this will mean that he's not constantly saying *what next* mommy if I can't present to him at that immediate moment. Just a thought....
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I have actually instituted this with my older son. He has a book that he is reading that he keeps available for times when he is done with something and waiting on me to finish a presentation with dd. It really keeps him from interrupting. Of course it helps that he is totally engrossed in the book (Harry Potter 5) and jumps at the chance to return to it!
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Theresa
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4Real Forums : Nurturing the Years of Wonder
Topic: Fostering independence
