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hobbitmom
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| Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 12:53pm | IP Logged
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What do you do when your child is so eager to try out a new material that he won't listen to the presentation?
This morning I had prepared a simple bean pouring exercise, but as soon as I took the tray to the table, ds2 was jumping around and trying to grab the cups and crying. He kept trying to push me away so he could get at them. No way was he paying attention to the presentation!
After a couple minutes' struggle where I spent a lot more time saying "No, wait!" and "Just a minute!" and "Let me show you how to..." than in actually presenting,  I gave in, to avoid a rapidly approaching tantrum, and let him do what he wanted. He was absorbed for a long time, but he certainly wasn't using the materials in the way the activity was intended.
Next time he does this, should I take the activity away at the very beginning, in spite of the screams? Is this an indication that he's too young for formal Montessori work, or that he's not ready for this particular exercise, or that I need to do more introductory "this is how we're going to do things" work (and if so, what?)... or something else entirely?
TIA for advice!
Amy
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acystay
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| Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 1:06pm | IP Logged
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I do get this from time to time as well. I think what it comes down to is that I've done the same thing from the beginning with my children in that I have them wait to show them properly. I explain that they will get a chance in just a moment and that I am showing them all the steps so that the items don't get broken, lost, damaged, etc. I explain that school things or cooking time is not a toy/playing time.
I have stopped a lesson if they are jumping around and hurrying the lesson interaction part. I say to them that perhaps we just need a break for a moment. Let's go read a book, have some tea, go for a walk, etc. If screaming or crying happens, I acknowledge those feelings..."yes I know you are upset, but if you cannot relax a moment so I can show you so that it doesn't get broken or peices lost, then I cannot have you do the activity yet." It does help too that if it something like a bean activity or water, I can say I need you to be calm so I can show b/c I don't want beans to be all over the floor and then someone could not see it step on them and slip and fall and get hurt, and that wouldn't be nice.
Does that help and make sense? I'm typing as it comes into my b/c I have a bout 5 mins left b4 going back to my little ones :)
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~Rachel~
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| Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 1:41pm | IP Logged
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I've had the same thing with my daughter... and I basically told her it would get put away if she couldn't listen  .
ITA on the telling them "I need to show you how it works so you do it right/don't make a mess/don't break something" conversation piece though.
FWIW, instead of pouring beans, he might just prefer to play with them... we have some play beans (well they are real, but for playing with) for DD.
Also you may have a child who needs some activity first before trying to do presentations and Montessori based activities.
AS for whether he is too young, if he continues this behaviour every time, then yes, you may like to wait a while.
Sometimes, the younger ones JUST need to play!
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happymama
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| Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 1:45pm | IP Logged
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from my experience, i do think it's very important to wait patiently until you see your child is in a calm, receptive state before bringing out any new materials or even verbally hinting that you've got something new in mind.
Yesterday i had something new planned for my ds4 and 99% of the time he is super excited about new things... but when i asked him casually if he was interested in some new work, he said no... and later that evening came down with a fever & the flu. I'm glad i didn't let my own excitement cloud my judgment! (which has happened before, trust me!)
Also, there is just a HUGE difference between age 2 and 3. You may end up doing several of these "test runs" over the next few months. Try to be patient, keep getting materials ready, because it will soon be worth it! Many blessings.
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Meredith
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| Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 3:35pm | IP Logged
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hobbitmom wrote:
What do you do when your child is so eager to try out a new material that he won't listen to the presentation?
This morning I had prepared a simple bean pouring exercise, but as soon as I took the tray to the table, ds2 was jumping around and trying to grab the cups and crying. He kept trying to push me away so he could get at them. No way was he paying attention to the presentation!
...Next time he does this, should I take the activity away at the very beginning, in spite of the screams? Is this an indication that he's too young for formal Montessori work, or that he's not ready for this particular exercise, or that I need to do more introductory "this is how we're going to do things" work (and if so, what?)... or something else entirely?
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Amy first of all, you have been given some great advice on this already and being only two, he may just NOT be ready. Perhaps a redirection to washing some cups in the sink might have calmed him down, or just some outdoor time. It's SO hard when they have so much energy and just don't know what to do with it ALL my three boys are like this at their varying age differences 
My feeling is that you put it away and just keep trying, every coupe of days ask him, "would you like to try the bean pouring with mommy again?" 'If you do, then you will have to sit quietly with your hands in your lap until mommy is finished showing you how to be careful and do it the right way, does that sound good?" Or something akin to this. If he's still too jacked up, then wait a month, alot will change in such a short time for him *maturity* wise and you will have had time to explore other appropriate activites, walking on the line, putting large pom-poms into a muffin tray, etc. Just the presentation langage will be something he will need to ease into, so don't give up, but gently offer!!
HTH, blessings and WELCOME ABOARD!
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Meredith
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Land O' Cotton
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| Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 3:49pm | IP Logged
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My dgs is 6 y/o, and looking back, I'm not sure he would have been able to sit very quietly at the age of 3 or 4 or so. I'm thrilled to discover this style of teaching, and I'm trying my best to incorporate it into our homeschool. I do believe even though we've missed that early start with Montessori, he's just in the last 6 mos. or so reached a level of maturity to handle some of this.
Keep trying. There may be a day when he's receptive to what you're presenting to him. It just may take a little while, but maybe there's something really simple to start with that will get his attention.
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ALmom
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| Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 4:31pm | IP Logged
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Well something like this happened with us and I backed off - and then did a presentation from practical life on asking permission to watch another work - and we practiced this a few times. Then, later, I went in and pulled out the stuff we had attempted and set it before me as if working with it. The child came over and asked to watch me work, I granted permission and he watched patiently with his hands behind his back the whole time. I put it on the shelf and then looked at him and asked if he would like to try it. He said, yes, and I asked if I could watch! Now this is how he always wants me to do presentations. My child was 4 but has never had any Montessori experience - don't know if the age difference made this easier or not, but I'm thrilled to have found a way to keep his hands off while I'm presenting.
Janet
Janet
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hobbitmom
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| Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 8:13pm | IP Logged
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Two seems to fall right between the age when you can easily redirect them and the age when you can reason with them. I try to explain things to ds (simply, of course), but he’s so focused on the object of his desire that he doesn’t seem to hear me. But stopping the lesson and taking a break makes sense, as does acknowledging what he’s feeling. The trick is finding him something else to do that’s sufficiently interesting to take his mind off the oh-so-fascinating thing Mommy’s not letting him have--after sticking it right under his nose.
He does love to play with beans or rice! I should have thought of that before, that he would naturally want to play with them in the same way he usually does. That was also a good point about making sure he works off some of that boundless 2yo-boy energy before asking him to focus.
And thank you for reminding me that he IS only two. So hard to wait... I’ve been wanting to teach him Montessori since before he was born! But better to take it slow than push him and have him hate the whole thing.
Meredith wrote:
| Perhaps a redirection to washing some cups in the sink might have calmed him down |
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Have you been peeking in our windows? How did you know ds loves, loves, LOVES to wash things in the sink? We’ve even used that as a reward, as in “Finish your peas, honey, and then you may wash the dishes.”
Meredith wrote:
| alot will change in such a short time for him *maturity* wise and you will have had time to explore other appropriate activites, walking on the line, putting large pom-poms into a muffin tray, etc. Just the presentation langage will be something he will need to ease into, so don't give up, but gently offer!! |
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Which types of activities do you suggest, besides these two? I started with one of the very earliest Practical Life presentations in the MRD Infant/Toddler manual, and thought it couldn’t get much more basic than that. And could you be more specific about “easing into the presentation language”?
BTW, Meredith, I so badly wanted to come to the conference to hear your talk! But dh wasn’t too happy about me traveling with our due date two weeks away, so... next year, I guess.
(And Janet, that's a terrific idea about presenting on how to watch presentations! I'll have to try that.)
Amy
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4Real Forums : Nurturing the Years of Wonder
Topic: When a presentation goes bust
