Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Nurturing the Years of Wonder
 4Real Forums : Nurturing the Years of Wonder
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Lorraine
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Posted: July 16 2007 at 3:24pm | IP Logged Quote Lorraine

Sorry I have so many things to ask. I posted a similar question on the "Real Learning" board but just thought some of you may have suggestions as well.

Another one of my worries is that English is not my first language. I speak with an accent and my writing skills are average at best. I didn't learn phonics when I was young (so teaching phonics will be a challenge, but I'm willing to learn as I go). I didn't read a lot of the classic books that I'd imagine many raised in North America would have. I did go through high school and university here, but managed to squeeze by without studying much literature. We mostly speak our first language (Chinese) at home. My 4.5yo DD is quite fluent in English because she was in school for 2 years. My 2.5yo DS just knows a few words (Of course "No" is one of them ) Now, I don't know if I should speak to them in English exclusively during "school time" only and switch to our first language outside of school. We also considered that I should speak in English while my husband speak in Chinese but that may be really confusing (even for us adults!). We are a little reluctant to switch to English exclusively yet because we do want to preserve part of the heritage, but perhaps we have to if we want our kids to "fit in" with others? I hope I'm making sense here. If I'm not, you see why I'm worried that my children will suffer in the long run because of my poor language skills. Am I just too paranoid ?

Thanks a lot.
Lorraine
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Katie
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Posted: July 16 2007 at 3:32pm | IP Logged Quote Katie

Lorraine,

We live overseas and know many multi-cultural families. Often one parent speaks one language to the children and the other speaks a second language. The parents then speak one or other of those languages to each other. I know it sounds like the children ought to get confused, but really they don't, and they end up being bilingual, which is great.

In your case I might hesitate as English is not your first language. It seems to work best and most naturally when each parent uses their mother tongue. I have American friends who speak to their kids in Spoanish (not their first language) and the kids speak fluently in Spanish. It is great.

If you choose to speak only Chinese at home you might try and get the kids into situations where English is spoken around them (church, playdates, activities etc.) on a regular basis so they are able to use their English skills, in addition to using sxhool time as English time.

HTH!

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montessori_lori
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Posted: July 16 2007 at 3:42pm | IP Logged Quote montessori_lori

Just from my experience, it does make a difference *what* the second language is. If you are speaking a language at home that is similar to English and has some common words (French, German, Spanish) it will be much easier for your kids to simply learn English from hearing it on TV, neighborhood friends, etc.

If you are speaking a language that is quite different from English (especially in terms of the sounds it uses), and you don't speak any English at home, it will be much, much harder for your kids to speak English (and especially to speak it clearly and correctly).

I like Katie's suggestion a lot - you and your husband decide which of you should speak English and which of you should speak Chinese at home, and then stick to that as much as possible.

Since you're teaching the kids, it might make sense for you to use English with them - especially if many of the materials and books you'll be using are in English. When your husband gets home, he can use Chinese.

Also, it will be beneficial to your children even if you don't speak English perfectly - it will still help them to hear you speak it, and your English will improve the more you use it with them.
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Mackfam
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Posted: July 16 2007 at 4:11pm | IP Logged Quote Mackfam

Oh Lorraine, You are such a loving and humble mother to be concerned about this with your dc. God will surely reward your efforts! I read your original post on the Real Learning threads. English is my first language, and I constantly check and re-check my typing for grammatical errors! Children are incredibly resilient! Yours are no different, and they cannot help but be blessed and enriched by a mother who so willingly seeks information and skills to make their lives richer.

I can't tell at all from your writing that you don't speak or use the English language regularly. Your writing is beautiful and quite clear! And...I was raised here, and schooled in our illustrious public schools, and I didn't get any of the great classics either! I'm having a great time learning right alongside my kids!

I can understand why phonics would be daunting! We have so many twisted usages in this language. Use a good phonics program that really holds your hand. You'll do fine I promise! Most of us here never taught phonics til our oldest came along. It is a wonderful case of learning right along with them. Relax here...YOU CAN DO THIS! I have used many programs, and I like different things from different programs. I know a search on phonics curriculums would turn up lots of wisdom on different programs that might help you make some decisions that best fit your family.

As to when to use English in your home, that really seems an answer only you and your dh can answer. I would hate to see your children lose their connection to your family heritage through the loss of the language. It seems a beautiful gift to preserve. I know someone else will chime in here with more ideas for bi-lingual families. Be open and flexible, God will guide you. Try something, give it time to work, and if it doesn't, try something else.

I was thinking of something and wondering if they would be beneficial to you and your little ones...they are stories on CD narrated by Jim Weiss, someone who enunciates every single syllable so perfectly. We love them and listen to them in the car whenever we go anywhere. Here's a link to Shakespeare for Children but scroll down on the page and you'll see there are lots of others to choose from. This would provide some exposure to the English language for all of you, and you would also have the benefit of hearing some wonderful stories!

Don't know if any of this helps Lorraine.    But you have my prayers for wisdom and discernment!

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Meredith
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Posted: July 16 2007 at 5:10pm | IP Logged Quote Meredith

Lorraine, you are definately NOT paranoid!! I applaud you so much for your efforts to want to do what is best for your children and only YOU and your dh and children will be able to decide fully what that might be. I like the suggestions you have been given above already and just go with your heart. You will certainly not hinder your dc by teaching in both Chinese and English, take it slowly and just enjoy your new journey with home education and Montessori!!

God's Blessings!

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Mama Moon
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Posted: July 18 2007 at 2:06pm | IP Logged Quote Mama Moon

Lorraine,

Just by your questions it is clear that your children are really blessed to have you as their mother. What a rich culture speaking Chinese will open for them!

I have a friend who is half Japanese half British and her husband is French and they use Italian in their everyday lives. They never stuck to their own language - they just did what they felt natural to them at the time. They were even mixing languages in one sentence. And the children speak all four (they mix at home depending on their mood but never with anyone else - only when they really don't know a word in the other language - and no one taught them - they just understood). I remember everyone told them to stick to their maternal language but they ignored this and now they have a great result. And the best thing was that the children love and are very competent at languages. For sure, some languages are stronger than others, but even after a holiday when a weaker language is more prominent, they quickly brush it up.

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Posted: July 18 2007 at 2:11pm | IP Logged Quote Mama Moon

P.S. They do "school" in English because they find English books the most available for homeschooling - but they will be speaking in French about it and writing in English! It is like they do in Mauritius - they speak French and do British exams papers!

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Lorraine
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Posted: July 18 2007 at 2:58pm | IP Logged Quote Lorraine

Thank you so much everyone for your thoughtful and encouraging responses! For now, I plan on speaking English during school time, e.g. in the morning, and speaking Chinese for the rest of the day. Luckily, my parents live close by and we meet up at least a few times a week so I'll make sure that they speak to their grandkids in Chinese

The biggest concern I had was that my kids would end up speaking with my accent. But some of you here and in the Real Learning threads have assured me that they won't necessarily inherit my accent. I guess as long as I provide them with enough exposure to "proper" English e.g. audio tapes, native English speaking friends and neighbors, they would be fine.

The other concern I had was that I wouldn't know which books to pick for my kids because I didn't read them as a kid. I don't recognize any authors or titles mentioned on the booklists (e.g. from Real Learning, FIAR, Catholic Mosaic). And I don't feel comfortable to just go ahead and buy them all. I think I better start another thread to post questions about the booklists.

Once again, thank you. You have all given me a lot more confidence in homeschooling my kids. Trust me, for me to be Chinese and telling my relatives and friends that I'm homeschooling has not been easy. Our culture (I'm generalizing here) is very academically driven and kids get very competitive at school where I came from (Hong Kong). My parents were high school teachers and did not receive the "news" well initially. But they've slowly come to accept it and are more comfortable with the idea now - that is if I do it for no more than a coule of years

Blessings,
Lorraine
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Mama Moon
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Posted: July 23 2007 at 8:34am | IP Logged Quote Mama Moon

Dear Lorraine,

I would never suggest that anyone's accent should be considered a negative aspect of speaking a language. Most people have some sort of accent and it is part of their identity. Your's might be in a minority group in the US - how wonderful for those around you! Even if your children have an accent (and I am sure that they will be able to speak in both your accent and in the accent prevailent in your area)it does not mean that they do not have the potential to learn grammar and use as much vocabulary as someone who has an accent more "native" to the country! In fact often I find people who have adpoted another culture / language far more knowlegable in these than the average person born into that cultrue/language. When I was a boarding school in the UK, there were many girls from HK and they all had accents. But by no way did it mean that they produced the least interesting essays and lowest English language marks!!!
Blessings

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