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Connections
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So, is it OK if "good enough" is your standard in homeschooling?
Is it our obligation to seek the best or is "good enough" enough?
Looking forward to your thoughts.
____________
Tracey
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Chris V
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I'd like to hear others' thought as well...
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Happy Wife with my Happy Life
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SusanJ
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I think it depends on your definition of "good enough." Does that mean, "Yes, it is good. And it is the best I can do under my current circumstances." Then, yes. I'd say that is both "good enough" and "the best."
But if saying, "It's good enough," means settling for mediocrity over and over again . . . I think we are obligated to reach higher.
But this, I think, would certainly be a prudential judgment on the part of each family. One family's best may look better than another's. And we can always be examining (not to the point of driving ourselves crazy of course) where we could make changes in order to allow ourselves to step things up to the next level, so to speak. An example that comes to mind is prayer. For awhile I was fine with praying one decade of a Rosary each day. It seemed the best I could do and it was "good enough" for a season. Later on I saw how I could manage to fit in five decades each day (broken into chunks) and now I do that. Settling for one decade now would be settling for mediocrity--for me.
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Life Together
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DominaCaeli
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I agree with Susan's comments.
I also think that it is okay to settle for "good enough" in some areas so that you can offer "the best" in others. Pretty much everything boils down to a matter of priorities.
With respect to homeschooling in particular, I really don't think there is one "the best," or that it's possible to offer "the best" of every thing, all the time. And what seemed like "good enough" might have actually been "the best" for that person at that time for reasons you didn't foresee.
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Joyous Lessons
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lapazfarm
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SusanJ wrote:
I think it depends on your definition of "good enough." Does that mean, "Yes, it is good. And it is the best I can do under my current circumstances." Then, yes. I'd say that is both "good enough" and "the best."
But if saying, "It's good enough," means settling for mediocrity over and over again . . . I think we are obligated to reach higher.
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Exactly.
I think "good enough" is fine if it is out of our control to do any better. If we have a new baby, are moving, etc, then at these times "good enough" is truly the best we can do. And that is fine because sometimes life gets complicated, you know?
But if we can take a hard look at ourselves and see that we are indeed NOT doing our best, we are being lazy or careless, and using "good enough" as our crutch, well then it isn't good enough at all.
There certainly have been times where I have had to admit that I was just sliding by with the minimum. I really am a lazy, lazy person and defeating sloth is my biggest struggle. So I have learned I need to be very honest with myself, listen to my conscience, and admit when sloth has gotten the best of me.(Luckily I have a very vocal conscience and it is hard to ignore  ). Then the next step, which is harder, is to get off my rear and do something about it! 
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Bookswithtea
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DominaCaeli wrote:
I also think that it is okay to settle for "good enough" in some areas so that you can offer "the best" in others. |
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I like this. It gives room for each family's individual priorities.
DominaCaeli wrote:
| With respect to homeschooling in particular, I really don't think there is one "the best," or that it's possible to offer "the best" of every thing, all the time. And what seemed like "good enough" might have actually been "the best" for that person at that time for reasons you didn't foresee. |
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Yup. Its easy to sit in a room with 10 hs moms and its amazing how different their priorities and their homeschools look. And its all good.
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~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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JennGM
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Like Susan said, what is your definition of "good enough"?
I think good enough is good. Maybe I call it "well-enough". My definition would be what I decided to do for our year for my son. In the meantime, I've found all sorts of new ideas of crafts, books, unique subject material, music...lots of new things to add. He clearly could have so much more, but I need to leave "well-enough" alone, to make sure we're getting things done. Adding more can make well-enough topple.
Just my silly take. This the time of year where I'm putting on blinders, keeping eyes on my own work, not letting human respect get me!
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DominaCaeli
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JennGM wrote:
My definition would be what I decided to do for our year for my son. In the meantime, I've found all sorts of new ideas of crafts, books, unique subject material, music...lots of new things to add. He clearly could have so much more, but I need to leave "well-enough" alone, to make sure we're getting things done. Adding more can make well-enough topple.
Just my silly take. This the time of year where I'm putting on blinders, keeping eyes on my own work, not letting human respect get me! |
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Not silly at all, Jenn! Sometimes it's "best" to leave "well-enough" alone! 
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Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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melanie
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I think homeschoolers can really kill themselves trying to find "the best"...the best math program, the best writing program, etc. You can spend so much money and time and ironically lose so much potential learning by creating holes from changing math programs constantly (why, yes, I do know from personal experience, haha!). There's something to be said for looking for great materials, or knowing when to toss something out that's just not working...but sometimes you just have to say, "this is working good enough".
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Willa
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Connections wrote:
So, is it OK if "good enough" is your standard in homeschooling?
Is it our obligation to seek the best or is "good enough" enough? |
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I prefer to think "workable".
Being a perfectionist, I've found that taking too much time/energy to find or implement the BEST actually can put me below "workable" to "inadequate". Much as I'd like to tell myself that it will only be inadequate until I finally discover that PERFECT SOLUTION, it doesn't work that way. I end up operating at sub-par while devoting all these personal resources to the hunt. It's sort of like a chronic budget deficit.
And with money -- if it costs too much, where our pocketbook groans, we don't do it. Simple. I can't really believe you need to have a huge income or go into debt to give kids a good education. The nuns gave kids perfectly decent education with 40 to a classroom and only a few basic textbooks.
So if I think "workable" and then part of that workability is a controlled amount of time/money/energy to keep incremental improvement going, then I am still receptive to adopt a new thing that might really help.
Now I used to agonize over exactly what "workable" was -- whether it's a code word for "mediocre" or "settling". But here I make a parallel to exercise or say, improving my food habits. I can tell "good pain" -- discomfort of stretching just a leetle beyond my comfort zone -- apart from "bad pain" -- my body telling me that it's going to opt out with an injury if I don't ease off.
It's similar with relationships. If I'm really honest I can tell when I'm working on optimizing a basically healthy relationship, vs when I'm coasting and being lazy, or contrarily, pouring too much desperation into it.
I can't tell infallibly of course. And when I am in doubt I usually:
--Say a novena
--Change my approach before I change my curriculum or my whole lifestyle or method.
Don't ask me how long this took to learn or how often I forget to apply it.
ETA there's also the simplicity concept. I think kids thrive from relationship and simplicity. Too much complexity or a feeling of uncertainty from their parents will affect them negatively. Some moms thrive on changing things up often and being creative and in that case, that is their real persona and the kids will pick that up and love having such a fun mom. But an anxious, "not enough" feeling can be stressful to the kids -- they'd probably rather have the mom cuddling next to them with a few classic thrift store books and an index card alphabet, than a Cadillac reading program and a lot of stress.
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Willa
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Chris V
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Willa wrote:
Don't ask me how long this took to learn or how often I forget to apply it.
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Willa wrote:
ETA there's also the simplicity concept. I think kids thrive from relationship and simplicity. Too much complexity or a feeling of uncertainty from their parents will affect them negatively. Some moms thrive on changing things up often and being creative and in that case, that is their real persona and the kids will pick that up and love having such a fun mom. But an anxious, "not enough" feeling can be stressful to the kids -- they'd probably rather have the mom cuddling next to them with a few classic thrift store books and an index card alphabet, than a Cadillac reading program and a lot of stress.
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Very, very insightful. Thank you.
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Chris
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Mackfam
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Willa wrote:
ETA there's also the simplicity concept. I think kids thrive from relationship and simplicity. Too much complexity or a feeling of uncertainty from their parents will affect them negatively. Some moms thrive on changing things up often and being creative and in that case, that is their real persona and the kids will pick that up and love having such a fun mom. But an anxious, "not enough" feeling can be stressful to the kids -- they'd probably rather have the mom cuddling next to them with a few classic thrift store books and an index card alphabet, than a Cadillac reading program and a lot of stress.
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This is extremely wise on so many levels. It makes me think of our beloved Venerable Pope John Paul II. His words really set my feet in motion when we began home educating.
From John Paul II's Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio:
Quote:
| Family, become what you are. |
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Isn't that beautiful and freeing all at once? It means that moms aren't somehow wrong or less than for choosing a workbook and a prepackaged if it is who they are, or even who they must be in a season. But, it also means that the mom who has the time, energy and blessing of resources to create her own plans and live them in the midst of her children can also be a right answer. It allows for the good in both paths as long as they are an authentic expression of who we are...in the season we are in.
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Jen Mackintosh
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I just re-read your question, Tracey and I don't think I answered it very well. I suppose I was just struck by Willa's thoughts on the beauty and simplicity of living out the gifts God gave us and how that looks in home education. It was a powerful thought for me. I hope it was ok to share.
I couldn't answer your question any better than the other ladies already have, and I find myself nodding in agreement to all of their words.
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Jen Mackintosh
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Connections
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Mackfam wrote:
Willa wrote:
ETA there's also the simplicity concept. I think kids thrive from relationship and simplicity. Too much complexity or a feeling of uncertainty from their parents will affect them negatively. Some moms thrive on changing things up often and being creative and in that case, that is their real persona and the kids will pick that up and love having such a fun mom. But an anxious, "not enough" feeling can be stressful to the kids -- they'd probably rather have the mom cuddling next to them with a few classic thrift store books and an index card alphabet, than a Cadillac reading program and a lot of stress.
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This is extremely wise on so many levels. It makes me think of our beloved Venerable Pope John Paul II. His words really set my feet in motion when we began home educating.
From John Paul II's Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio:
Quote:
| Family, become what you are. |
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So much to think about here. I love the idea of children thriving on relationship and simplicity.
Everyone's thoughts have me wondering if a distinction should be made as to where we strive for the best. It seems as though looking outwardly- to find the best materials, ideas, methods, etc. is misleading. It may consume a lot of time and energy without yielding the results we seek.
Perhaps we need to look inwardly. Are we using these materials the best we can? Are we giving of ourselves to the best of our ability? Are we present to our children? Are we attentive and patient and kind? Are we using our unique strengths to homeschool our children the best we can each day?
What if we succeeded in being our best every single day. Would the materials and methods we use really matter?
_______________
Tracey
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Mackfam
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Connections wrote:
| What if we succeeded in being our best every single day. Would the materials and methods we use really matter? |
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I'm of two minds here.
I want the tools (materials and methods) used in our home education to offer and express what is good, true and beautiful and assist us in becoming what we are. In that sense, if something fits that description, even if it is not THE best, it is the best I can offer within my means and ability to research and discern, and in the season of life in which we find ourselves. So, I think I see this as part of stewardship of our (family) gifts. In order to be frugal, I have to do some examination of materials and methods and discernment, or I could be negligent and wasteful in the acquisition of tools or expenditure of time and energy.
HOWEVER...
Your point about looking inwardly first is a very good one, and does offer a sense of balance to what could be a knee-jerk reaction to seek a solution elsewhere when the blessing of living in and living through a challenge might be missed.
I have been in a very dark place with home education before - one that rocked me to my core. I doubted and faltered and wondered and cried. I observed and watched and prayed and confessed. It was not an easily solved problem, but grace prevailed, thanks be to God, and the problem was directly related to the fact that I had moved us out of who we are. I'm so appreciative when wisdom is whispered gently and easily to me. Become what you are. I long to make myself more open and malleable to hearing it.
It's possible to allow the materials and methods to take pride of place over relationship, quiet, interior reflection, observation, simple moments, creativity, and living in and living out challenges. It's also possible to accumulate so much that materials and methods begin to see neglect out of the sheer accumulation and inability to get to it all...leading to feeling overwhelmed and dazed in the presence of so much. I'm thinking of that maxim - make the best of it. It might not be THE best, but resolve with the grace of God to make the BEST of it.
Connections wrote:
| Are we using these materials the best we can? Are we giving of ourselves to the best of our ability? Are we present to our children? Are we attentive and patient and kind? Are we using our unique strengths to homeschool our children the best we can each day? |
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I liked the interior questions that you pose because they offer points of reflection to ensure that we use the tools available to us to their potential, allowing ourselves to be challenged and think through challenges, placing limits or healthy boundaries on our choices (these limits would be that solutions can't lie outside of what we are). They make a great examination of the home education conscience. 
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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DominaCaeli
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Connections wrote:
| Are we using our unique strengths to homeschool our children the best we can each day? |
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I just wanted to say, Tracey, that I think this is a really great point. Insofar as we feel God has called us to home educate our children, he has fitted us with the graces we need to accomplish this task--and these graces are specific to our own situations, our own temperaments, our own families. I am about as far from relativistic as one can be, generally speaking (), but in the case of homeschooling, I really do think that "the best" has to be considered in light of these particular strengths God has blessed us with. This is a great reminder.
Interesting discussion, ladies.
__________________
Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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Eleanor
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Willa wrote:
ETA there's also the simplicity concept. I think kids thrive from relationship and simplicity. Too much complexity or a feeling of uncertainty from their parents will affect them negatively. Some moms thrive on changing things up often and being creative and in that case, that is their real persona and the kids will pick that up and love having such a fun mom. But an anxious, "not enough" feeling can be stressful to the kids -- they'd probably rather have the mom cuddling next to them with a few classic thrift store books and an index card alphabet, than a Cadillac reading program and a lot of stress.
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Thanks for this.
I tend to suspect that even if the mother *likes* a lot of change (or thinks she does), it might not be best for the kiddos. We've recently moved into a new house, and have very little of our stuff, so things are very simple around here... just the basics, rinse and repeat each day... and we're all much happier and more relaxed.
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lapazfarm
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I like the way this conversation is heading.
Honestly, our success (or lack thereof) in homeschooling rarely has anything at all to do with materials- the cost/quality/quantity. It largely boils down to the energy that we put into it--and by "we" I mean mostly "me". When I give it my all-my heart my energy, my intellect,my creativity--then our homeschooling goes fabulously. When I am less motivated or connected, that is when we start sliding into "good enough" territory.
And part of what keeps me fully engaged is by sticking to what we do best. When I deviate from our "true north" then we all start to lose interest and energy. We find our selves doing things because we "should" rather than because we are passionate about it.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
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Chris V
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I am really enjoying this discussion. I wish I had something, just as equally lovely, to add; but you've all said things so well... thank you for such thoughtfulness in your responses!
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Chris
Happy Wife with my Happy Life
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Bookswithtea
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Mackfam wrote:
I have been in a very dark place with home education before - one that rocked me to my core. I doubted and faltered and wondered and cried. I observed and watched and prayed and confessed. It was not an easily solved problem, but grace prevailed, thanks be to God, and the problem was directly related to the fact that I had moved us out of who we are. I'm so appreciative when wisdom is whispered gently and easily to me. Become what you are. I long to make myself more open and malleable to hearing it. |
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This happened to me, once, too. I love how this quote rings so very true to the temptation to be something we weren't meant to be. I'm still pouring over my shelves, looking for what needs to go. I've noticed there are books I have hung onto for years because they are popular among homeschoolers...even though I have never cared for them. I'm using something similar to Jen's guiding principle as I look at each book. Is this us? Am I excited to watch a child use this and to help him or her? Have I avoided this book time after time because, for whatever reason, I just don't think its inspiring?
It has really helped me. I don't like to think in terms of "good enough", but "what works well for our family". That might not be good enough for another family. But that's ok.
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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4Real Forums : Philosophy of Education
Topic: Good Enough
