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rivendellmom
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| Posted: May 31 2005 at 11:37am | IP Logged
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In the past 3 years our family has gone from having plenty of disposable income to almost none. It started with 9/11, my DH works in the airline industry and we've taken paycut after paycut. Gas prices have gone up, (he has a long commute) property taxes have gone up. You name its happened. My older kids (14 and 11) are complaining about why are we "poor" now etc. We are not poor, and my oldest has been to Calcutta so he really should know what "poor" is. But, compared to other families in our neighborhood, we do not do as much as they do. No Six Flags or pool passes this year. My DH has leads on several other jobs that will pay more, but because of health insurance we are holding off for about 2 months. I'm pregnant and we have excellent insurance through his employer and won't have to pay anything. (about the only benefit left :) So anyway, I guess I'm facing the fact that my older two are spoiled. We have good friends with a pool, that we can go to almost anytime, and with a new baby in July we wouldn't be doing much anyway this summer. I guess my question is: How much explanation are they owed at this age? They know we have less money coming in, yet still complain, and in my hormonal state I've about had it. My 11 year old wants an allowance and we just don't have any extra money at the end of paying what we have to pay each month to allow that. We pay our mortgage, utilites, and even rent movies every week. We are a lot better off than most, yet the boys are whining. They are not bad kids, well behaved, helpful, they even do their chores. I am sure that this is a temporary situation, if DH doesn't get a new job than I'll work part time after the baby is a little older. But, I just don't like this attitude that they deserve these extras, and even after this financial crunch passes, I'm not so sure I should let them have any extras then. KWIM?
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Jen in suburban Chicagoland Mom to Connor(91), Garrett(93), Reilly (95), Mary Katherine (98), Declan (05), Ronan in ^i^ 6/28/08
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Taffy
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Joined: April 05 2005
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| Posted: May 31 2005 at 1:31pm | IP Logged
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Jen,
Maybe you could ask the kids what they would use their allowance for? If its something you're OK with, help them find ways to earn the money. At 11 and 14, they are certainly old enough to be doing odd jobs for people in the neighbourhood (such as yard work, babysitting, etc.). My dad's response at that age was that he was moved out of his home at 13 and working full-time so if I need the money so bad, go out and get a job!
Another alternative would be to use the money spent on renting movies for their allowance instead...
As an aside, my 5yo son had developed a habit of whining which was driving me batty!  We had a chat about it and when he understood why I found it irritating and that it's not something he should keep doing, he said he wouldn't do it again. I told him he would because it's already a habit. I then asked him what I could do to help him remember that he was trying to stop his whining habit. After some discussion, we agreed that he should go to his room for a 2 minute time-out whenever he's whining. It's been working, his whining is much less and he's not whining about his time-outs either 
Good luck!
Liz
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Susan
Mom to 5 on earth and 1 in heaven
Susan's Soliloquy
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Leonie
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| Posted: May 31 2005 at 6:43pm | IP Logged
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Do you feel comfortable sharing details about the family budget with your older dc?
I remember one of mine gasped when he saw I had $1000 out from the bank. Then, I explained how much went to the mortgage payment, some to food, etc -and he *saw* where the money goes.
I have also always encouraged my dc to find some work for money in lieu of allowances . I will do everything I can to help them in this as i think they learn addityional work skills and money awareness.  Right now the 16 and nearly 14 year old work part time as Kumon markers at a Kumon education centre, and the 12 and 9 year olds deliver the local newspaper together.
Leonie in Sydney
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dhbrug
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| Posted: May 31 2005 at 7:42pm | IP Logged
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I go through our finances with the older cildren, with simpler explanations for the younger ones. As I record everything in Quicken, I am able to show them exactly how much money went in and where it went.
I first showed the monthly income, and they went, "Wow!" Then I showed how most of it goes out in the first week paying rent, utilities, telephone and so on, and then show how we need to allow money for savings, tithes, food and emergencies. We also show how we budget and compare before buying things. They then said, "Oh!"
The children are pretty good. They have always heard the answer "No" to buying many things they wish for, and we explain that an entry price times six is too much. For the same money think what else we could buy. They have also been told that finances are family business and all income and expenses are family related.
It seems to be working so far.
Cheers
David
http://bruggietales.blogspot.com
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Mare
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| Posted: June 01 2005 at 8:28am | IP Logged
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Jen,
I second the recommendation for letting your children know about your budget and to let them work odd jobs for extra income. My family was also "poor" compared to others in our neighborhood.
I do remember my parents sitting me down to go over their budget and it was eye opening for me. Who knew that groceries were costing $100 a week or that we had to pay for electricity? My perspective on the extras changed.
I started babysitting at age 10 for income. That gave me money for baseball cards. When I was in seventh grade, I babysat 40 hours a week for 8 weeks of summer vacation. That allowed me the money to buy the stereo that I dreamed of at the time - AM/FM stereo sound with a turntable, an 8-track and cassette player.
Peace,
Mare
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ALmom
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| Posted: June 01 2005 at 6:07pm | IP Logged
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Just so you know that it isn't just related to family income. My dh family did not have any financial worries but they did make their children pay for 1/2 of all extras (all of it if it wasn't viewed as educational). This included college education. My dh learned to fix radios, save and appreciated his college education because he worked for it.
Sometimes I have a hard time remembering how good it is for our children to earn things - like paying for extra lessons, music camps, etc. even when we might be able to afford them. My dh sometimes has to remind me of this.
Janet
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: drastic change in income?
