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wamegomom
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| Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 9:25am | IP Logged
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I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to post on this forum yet, and now we're "closing down" for a bit for the beginning of Lent! Briefly, I'm the mom of 2 bio children, dd 26, ds 22, step-mom to dd 25 and ds 22, and adoptive mom to dd 15 from China, dd 14 from China, dd 9, American-born Chinese, ds 8 from Hong Kong, and ds 5 from the U.S. I have LOVED all your posts about attachment, Helen!! I work for an adoption agency and we actively teach these principles and techniques to promote attachment, but to have the Catholic touch is the icing on the cake.
My dd 15 has been home from China for nearly 9 years, and was officially diagnosed with RAD 3 years ago. It has been a hard row to hoe many times. I belong to the attachment disorder network yahoogroup for parents and have learned a lot from the parents on that list (Nancy Spoolstra is one of the list owners, I believe). Anyway, as we move into Lent, I wanted to share something a Catholic mom on that list shared because it literally took my breath away when I read it and I sat and sobbed at the computer for several minutes. It simply stopped me in my tracks, and may have really changed my life. This mom told about a book she just finished called An Unlit Path, by Deborah Hannah. It is the story of a mother who took in the very, very, very hard foster kids. Unfortunately, despite her years of hard work with them, she felt in the end that she had had very little impact and despaired of the adult lives they were living. She said that Jesus spoke to her in a dream one night and told her that when Simon of Cyrene helped Him carry the cross it was a gift. Even though the journey up to Calvary still ended in His death on the cross, helping Him carry the cross changed the journey and made a difference. I am simply rocked by this. Jesus knows the buckets of tears I've cried, feeling that nothing I was doing was really touching her heart. Yes, we were getting less overt anger and property damage (!!!) but I despaired of ever really touching hearts. I still don't know how far we'll get, but I have a peace that Susie's journey is different because of us. I pray that for all of our families.
Hoping to post more when the forums reopen,
Mary Alice in Kansas
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Helen
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| Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 3:19pm | IP Logged
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wamegomom wrote:
| I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to post on this forum yet, and now we're "closing down" for a bit for the beginning of Lent! Briefly, I'm the mom of 2 bio children, dd 26, ds 22, step-mom to dd 25 and ds 22, and adoptive mom to dd 15 from China, dd 14 from China, dd 9, American-born Chinese, ds 8 from Hong Kong, and ds 5 from the U.S. I have LOVED all your posts about attachment, Helen!! I work for an adoption agency and we actively teach these principles and techniques to promote attachment, but to have the Catholic touch is the icing on the cake. |
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HI Mary Alice
I would love to hear your thoughts on promoting attachment and your experiences with therapists. Maybe after the break we could begin a new thread discussing
"finding the right therapist."
wamegomom wrote:
She said that Jesus spoke to her in a dream one night and told her that when Simon of Cyrene helped Him carry the cross it was a gift. Even though the journey up to Calvary still ended in His death on the cross, helping Him carry the cross changed the journey and made a difference. |
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Awesome!
__________________
Ave Maria!
Mom to 5 girls and 3 boys
Mary Vitamin & Castle of the Immaculate
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wamegomom
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| Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 5:23pm | IP Logged
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GREAT idea, since we've played A.T. roulette, as many here probably have. We've found a really good one and have been seeing her for the past year. Just today, after our session, we walked downstairs with her to leave and she was to meet her next client, which happens to be the saintly couple who did respite for us last year and one of their foster daughters. We all visited for a couple of minutes, and John, the dad, asked dd why she hasn't visited lately. She said she was waiting for an invitation. He said to just come over, all his "other kids" do, and she said (BRACE YOURSELF) "But I'm my mother's child. I couldn't just show up." After we all just about fainted, and we mentioned how happy dd and I looked today, I put my arm around her shoulder and said "Well, I have to take MY CHILD home now." OK, she shook my arm off her shoulder as soon as we were around the corner 2 seconds later, but it is big, trust me.
I'm really looking forward to blessing each other in this forum!
Mary Alice in Kansas
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mavmama
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| Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 7:32pm | IP Logged
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Mary Alice,
Thank you for sharing this. It is something I will ponder and pray about.
As Helen knows, we are struggling with our choice in therapists, too. It is hard work, and such important work--I feel often that if we don't get it right, right now, all will be lost. This is not so, and I know it, but the evil one digs at me with these kinds of thoughts. I must always be on guard and pray for peace, all the while doing my best with God's help.
Like the little card on my bulletin board says "Put God in the center, and everything will come together."
So true.
Bless you all as we start this lenten season. I hold you in my prayers.
__________________
Liz
Blessed by 4 wonders
dd11, dd911, ds9, ds8
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: inspiring thought to start Lent
