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Lisbet
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| Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 10:44am | IP Logged
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Tony and I are overjoyed to be expecting again. But, I have to say my joy is being dampered by some outside influences. First of all, I told my parents the other day, and all my mother said was "oh no, oh no" and cried. My dad smiled and said he was happy, but I should start thinking about my health. My mom then went on and on about how my husband is not thinking of my health or of the children, because they need a mother etc... Yes, she got pretty dramatic, but in her defense, she apologized and said she was excited about another grandbaby.
THEN, my midwife, who has been with me for 6 of my 7 homebirths, tells me that she recommends me looking for doctor back up (very difficult to find in our area) because of how many babies I have had so close in age, and that my 'risk for EVERYTHING' increases. She has had some personal issues regarding homebirth lately, and I understand she is more apprehensive, but this is not her normal manner with me, and I was shocked.
A good friend of mine with 9 children told me how it got so much harder on her each time, and she's sure her hemmorage w/her last baby was b/c of how many she's had.
I'm feeling a bit scared. I'm begining to wonder if it's almost 'irresponsible' to have so many so close in age. Are we taking risks? I don't have an serious health issues, just a few irritations here and there that are easily taken care of.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 10:58am | IP Logged
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Lisa -
I don't know whether the scary things people are telling you are realistic or whether those people are worrying unnecessarily. I just wanted to tell you that I will be praying for your peace of mind and a healthy pregnancy.
Peace,
Nancy
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kjohnson
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| Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 11:02am | IP Logged
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My thoughts are the same as Nancy's. I am only pregnant with my 5th, so I won't pretend that I have any advice for you. All I do know, is that God brought this new baby into being and I will pray that He watches over you. 
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In Christ,
Katherine
Wife to Doug and Mother of 6
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 11:12am | IP Logged
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I just don't have the time right now...but wanted you to know I am SO with you.....as always! 
It is NOT easy to abandon to all of this, and accept pregnancy after pregnancy with a trusting heart. Especially when you become high-risk.
But remember you are serving as a shining light to others. The world is LOOKING at you and *wondering*----just in awe and silenced and forced to contemplate--- WHY and HOW you are doing it. They may be "freaked" but they are also in secret admiration. Their own fears are being projected onto you. You may have to "retreat" in a sense from others' questions and comments and gently and politely ask to just not discuss it.
I am praying for you---as you are an AWESOME FERTILE BLESSED WOMAN----(and I know it is not easy to be so AWESOME,  the burden is great)!!
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Martha
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| Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 11:28am | IP Logged
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hmm, welll here I go...
Family - You gotta take with a grain of salt. Like salt on an open wound I know, but still salt. 
Midwife - It does sound as though she is a little "gun shy" for her own reasons. Maybe that has to do with you, maybe not. It sounds too vague to me to be trusted. Did something change with the last delivery from the ones previous to it?
If your midwife is getting cold feet, it may be a good idea to get a doctor or another midwife "just in case". If something should come up, I'd rather know who I'm working with than get whoever shows up in an emergency. kwim?
I agree you may need to retreat personally to gather yourself for a time. I have had to do this with the last 3 pregnancies. I kind of retreat to the house and invite those who can be supportive, or at least not UNsupportive, to visit me or enjoy building up my nest just so for the newest arrival. 
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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SaraP
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| Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 11:35am | IP Logged
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Lisbet wrote:
| I don't have an serious health issues, just a few irritations here and there that are easily taken care of. |
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I think you answered your own question right here.
Some women sail through many, many pregnancies with no significant issues at all. Some have very serious problems during their first or second or third pregnancies. Until there is some sign of a problem - other than people telling you that you will have problems - I wouldn't give it another thought.
And I am VERY glad to hear that all is still well with this little one!
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Mama to six on earth, two in heaven and two waiting in Russia. Foxberry Farm Almanac
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Sarah
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| Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 11:36am | IP Logged
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I'm retreating here with this PG. Just don't want to hear it from anyone. God will care for me and my child. . .
Midwife sounds a little hysterical. "EVERYTHING??" You mean, everything single thing??
Doctor back-up is a good idea, though. I know its near impossible to find. . .
Maybe consider widwife in the hospital if this midwife seems out of sorts. Its not good to have your midwife filling you with fear. It might be time to move on from her. . .
You're not irresponsible. If your risks increase, so what? There are other options besides a home birth. I've learned to let go of the what I thought was the perfect little birth scene. A healthy baby is most important.
I would try to pin the midwife down on your specific risks because she sounds a little like she's overreacting.
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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Bridget
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| Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 11:45am | IP Logged
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Lisa, I have quite a few friends who have been blessed as you have. Many babies fairly close together. Two of my best friends have 17 and 12. (I just heard that the Duggars are expecting #17.) These moms are healthy. They will tell you it's hard and each pregnancy gets more challenging, but they don't have any serious, unmanageable health issues because of many babies close together.
What I know of you from our internet relationship is that you are slim and your family has a reasonably healthy diet and life style. That decreases your risks considerably.
The pressure, especially from family, has got to be hard. Keep reminding yourself that they don't understand all the issues and their reaction is because they care about you.
Be assured of support here. (And even a little wistful jealousy.  )
We adore you and your family. Do not be discouraged.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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momwats8
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I am praying for you. I have 8 kids close in age and I have not had any major health issues. the docs get a little overbearing when talkng about risks but I take it with a grain of salt. they do have to cover themselves because of malpractice and people always wanting blame someone else when there is a problem.
Family - I now it is hard -we have our own issues. When I was pregnant with Ambrose my mom wouldn't talk to me when I told her until 2 weeks later when I lost the baby. it was painful but she was coping for her own reasons.
We all love you here and you are doing an awesome and wonderful work!!!
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Mary- Wife to Mike and Mother to Austin(92), Mikey(95), R.J.(97), Benedict(98), Kolbe(00), Ignatius(02), Christian(03), Margaret(05),&4 angels in heaven
http://www.momwats8.blogspot.com
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Kim F
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I agree with what has been said here. Mine aren't as close together as yours but I can honestly say some of my earlier pregnancies were more difficult than the later ones. In fact the most recent pregnancy (9)was my best!
I have a friend whose nine children have come within 15 yrs. She is in excellent health with no complications during pg, which is good because she is 33 and showing no signs of slowing down lol! 
Kim
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Starry sky ranch
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 12:48pm | IP Logged
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I knew all of you would be more positive! In my midwifes defense, she's been practicing 25 years, and last year she lost her first baby, which happened to be her grandson. She admits to being very gunshy now. So yes, she was over acting when she said EVERYTHING. I am considering another midwife that I know. This just takes a very familiar person out of the process for me, but I really don't need any negativity.
I think I will retreat a bit for the time being.
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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1floridamom
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I imagine that your midwife just wants to take precautions for everyone's sake. My midwife has her own back-up physician in case of emergencies, but she and I talk on the same level. (She knows full well that I've read enough to have completed midwifery curriculum, it just isn't in the present possible for me.  )
Fluky things happen, and in theory since the uterus is muscular it can get "tired" over time. I wouldn't worry, just be prepared. I'd venture to guess that most practitioners simply don't have much or any experience with such busy uteri.
God bless you! You are called to a holy state.
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Monica in FL
dh Steve, Sean (14), Ethan (13), Emily (10), Kylie (6), Ashley (5) and Lindsay (2)!
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Sherry
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I am normally just a "lurker" here, and I haven't wanted to just drop in on the wonderful relationships you have developed here, but I thought it might be time to add a little information from a mom who has given birth 14 times, all pretty close together.
My newest baby was born just this last November, and my OB told me she does not consider me to be high risk at all--and this is after 2 hemorrhaging miscarriages last year; both of which her practice handled for me. She is a Catholic OB and the oldest of 10 herself, so I am sure she has "seen it all".
I had no complications with this birth, but I am 42, which means that, in some respects, my age is catching up with me. For me this means that I gain weight easier and that my bones ache a little, but so did my mom's at my age. I try and keep in mind that God created us to have children.
Also, consider the health risks to those who aren't having lots of kids (and breastfeeding). I have read studies that show it is next to never that a woman following this regimen will ever have female cancers (including those of the breast), and that they may actually be saved from osteoporosis (sp?) and even adult diabetes!
After I had my miscarriages, my husband and I took a break and sought the Lord on our direction. It scared us that I could have bled to death and left my children without a mother. But some very Godly friends of ours told us to go with God's peace. We only felt peace about trusting Him, and then He blessed us with a healthy, uncomplicated pregnancy and a gorgeous baby girl! (with a positive OB doctor to boot!)
Of course, this information is mostly for you, because it is next to never that you will be able to convince someone who just doesn't "get it", believe me I have tried to do this with my relatives, who assume that we are either brain-dead or part of a cult somewhere.
Hope this encourages you.
Sherry
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Bridget
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Welcome Sherry! I am SO glad you spoke up! Believe me. We 'get it' around here. It's nice to meet you.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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JodieLyn
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First of all, the main risk to babies that I know of from being close together is a lack of nutrition. If you breastfeed into your pregnancies as well that's even higher risk.. this is a very manageable risk.. eat well and take good vitamins (I use NF Formulas Prenatal Forte, Rainbow Light prenatal - the ones that are 6 pills a day are very close)
I considering going to a doctor and using a hospital as INCREASING risks to myself and the baby.
I use arnica after a birth and since starting that have had less bleeding with babies 4-7 than I did with babies 1-3.
Red raspberry leaf tea helps balance hormones and is a uterine toner which will also help with delivery and helping the muscles recover from previous births.. some don't take it during first trimester if they have any risk of miscarriage and some don't take it until close to delivery because of risk of pre-term labor.. what I understand from a midwife friend is that it will help the uterus function better with what it should be doing.. and that means that it won't cause either miscarriage or pre-term labor but could help prevent either. There's people who think both ways.
Generally, keeping yourself fit (walking) also helps.
Honestly, you're a couple ahead of me but it looks like we have about the same spacing between children.. mine are 17 mo, 20 mo, 18 mo, 15 mo, 21 mo, 26 mo.. and I've breastfed all of them at least a couple months into the next pregnancy.. the first clear through the next and then tandem nursed several months into the 3rd.
I might be apprehensive about some things with having more.. but that has nothing to do with labor or pregnancy.
oh and Congratulations!!
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 2:43pm | IP Logged
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Sherry, Welcome and thanks so much for sharing your experience. Bridget is indeed right, we definetly 'get it' around here!
I am feeling so much better after reading your replies. I don't know why I let it get to me, I never have before. (neither has my midwife, so that threw me for a bit of a loop.) Maybe it's because of the bleeding, then the flu, and the new job my husband just started... (did I mention I got the flu real bad last week?? I'm still exhausted from it)
I am still pretty young (31) and I've always been so strong and healthy, and I still am! I know all about proper nutrition and care of my pregnant self. Jodie, thanks for all of the reminders. I have nursed all the way through all of my pregnancies, most likely will this one too. I'm not going to let anyone scare me from something that God has designed and called me to do!
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Kim F
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I considering going to a doctor and using a hospital as INCREASING risks to myself and the baby.
>>
Agreed! After number 5 the recovery room nurses were so paranoid about how quicklymy uterus was shrinking (like not fast enough for them though I was not hem'ing). They sounded ominous and assumed I would bleed out from having "so many". It seemed quick likely to me that I was at risk of losing my organs so this crowd.
I keep shepherd's purse on hand and take copious amts of raspberry leaf too. Ironically the only bleeding problem I ever had was with number 3 IN a hospital. I think a midwife is also wiser about not tugging on the placenta etc, thereby preventing hem.
I also take supplement and follow the Nourishing Traditions/Dr Brewer diet for pg.
Kim
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Lisbet
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Jodie and Kim,
I totally agree with your hospital/homebirth thoughts. I'm curious though, do either of you have supportive OB back-up? That is next to impossible to find around here. When I was pregnant with Molly I drove 50 miles to see an OB that was cool with homebirthing. I could see him again, but his practice moved even further north and quite frankly, I didn't care for his bedside manner.
The OB that ordered the bloodwork for me did so without even seeing me, he had no idea who I was, how many children I have, or that they have been born at home. I didn't have to see him, I just went to the lab and spoke with his nurse on the phone. I don't want to be deceptive, but both dh and midwife say to continue going to him and not tell him I'm planning a homebirth. I don't know why I'd even bother, I never have in the past.
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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JodieLyn
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I've never tried to get an OB officially for back up. My first was with a CNM who had back up.. and I've had a midwife with a good relationship with an OB but not officially her backup. And around here there's one choice for hospital and I believe all the docs back each other up anyway so if I had to go in, I'd get whoever was on call anyway. (very small town, nothing else reasonably close)
funny story.. I was 3 days from my due date when my daughter fell and cut below her lip so we ended up at the ER.. the nurse, even after we explained we were doing a homebirth, took us on a tour of the maternity area and gave us the freebe stuff we'd get if we'd given birth there
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Rebecca
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Lisa, I just wanted you to know that I am OH SO happy for you!
Love,
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Everyone is scaring me.
