4Real Forums: How to Teach Son to learn from Mistakes?

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Topic: How to Teach Son to learn from Mistakes?

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JennGM
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Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
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Posted: May 10 2005 at 5:03pm \| IP Logged

I have this *little* problem. DS, who is almost 20 months old has a tendency to want to stand or walk on anything on the floor...which in turn has lead to so many bumps and bruises and near misses. I don't go around padding the walls, and I try to explain to him to not stand on books or toys, or to point out when he falls and that this is the consequence. He has seeming comprehension of so many things, but he's just not learning his lessons here. I think he likes to feel the movement of the objects underneath his feet, the different textures, but it's driving Mommy batty! Today was 4 very hard hits on the head, lots of bruises all over.

He's very athletic, runs, jumps, throws balls, very coordinated. It's just this little thing that people say he's very clumsy. I don't think he's clumsy, he just keeps wanting to walk on items on the floor, that usually HE puts there!!! His cousins around the same age walk around the items. And it's not that he doesn't see them! Sometimes he seeks them out!

Anyone else have this experience? And if there's nothing I can do to help this situation, can you give me hope that this won't last forever?

Thanks!

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Jennifer G. Miller
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MaryM
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Joined: Feb 11 2005
Location: Colorado
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Posted: May 11 2005 at 1:21am \| IP Logged

Aren't toddlers creative? - this reminds me of the teacup in the pants scenario that Jennifer mentioned about her little toddler in a forum thread yesterday. I honestly can't say that I ever specifically was aware of a toddler doing what you describe Gregory as doing. Why toddlers do some of the things they do, we'll never know. But it sounds perfectly normal and he WILL outgrow this stage.

I don't know that you can teach Gregory at this point to learn from his mistakes beyond what you already are doing - falling is a natural consequence but if it's not making any impression on him as such he isn't going to change due to that consequence. Obviously his need/desire to do this is overriding any negatives of the consequence.

Toddlers are really bright and can show such remarkable comprehension in many ways but that doesn't mean they really understand some things the way we think they should so explaining to toddlers doesn't always make an impression.

For toddlers I always fall back on the what I find to be the most helpful guidance/discipline methods for that age in general.

Modify the environment
Distraction
Substitution

So I'm brainstorming here:
Removal of all small mobile items from the floor when he is going to be in a room where you can't be intervening. Keep the toys or books he likes to scatter and step on put away when he's not supervised.

Add something to environment that he can walk on that might meet what ever need he has to do this - like a modified balance beam. Could just be a piece of wood (I'm thinking 1 inch high, 4 inches wide and a couple feet long) Place where it is far removed from objects that would potentionally hurt if there was a fall and scatter pillows or cushions around. Ramps, incline mats (wedges), foam or air cushions might be other fun objects to utilize specifically for balance and movement sensations for him.

As he appears ready to do his scattering and stepping on items intervene, guiding him to some other activity or interest before he does it. It takes much diligence on parents part for a time to be ready to distract. Doing this without mention of "not stepping on the toys, books, etc." is often more effective than calling attention to the behaviour you are trying to avoid by talking about it or explaining (which reminds him of what he initially wanted to do).

Are there things he can scatter and step on that are safe, won't cause him to fall? Maybe you could make small square mats out of different fabrics/materials with different textures (say maybe 6 inches by 6 inches) that he could scatter and walk on to get different feels (Faux fur, terry cloth, satin, corduroy - some could have batting inside for cushioning, or crinkled cellophane for fun noise and feel). You could just have pieces cut out of fun foam in different shapes and colors and play "stepping on" games. "Step on the green one" "Step on the round one"
Make a point saying what IS okay to step on and offer a reminder to get those.

Make a game of stepping over objects or going around. Lots of positive reinforcement for times when he does do that instead of stepping on things.

I tried to think of ideas that redirect this need he has into a different outlet or form of activity. Hopefully some idea will work or spark an idea you have.

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Mary M. in Denver

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