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Joelle
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| Posted: Jan 01 2007 at 10:27pm | IP Logged
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I am wondering if you all have time to care for yourself, if so what do you do, how often, and how do you not feel guilty (because we all know that something else productive to the home/school/family COULD be done with that time)???
I am feeling that I need regular time to myself (I love to scrapbook, but rarely do with so many little people--exercise went out with the birth of our fifth and I am ashamed to say that I don't even make it to adoration much anymore, which tops all). I have read books where moms take full DAYS to do whatever they like and also read about or talk to moms that never leave without littles. My husband says he supports anything I would do, but I think I don't because I am always busy doing things for the family, especially the kids. I am at that stage of weaned toddler and pregnant, so could leave for a few hours without too much upset.
So am wondering what you ladies do, or am I just being selfish  ?
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God Bless, Joelle
Mom to 7: Boy (96), Girls (00, 02, 04), Boy (05), Girl (07), Boy (09)
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aussieannie
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| Posted: Jan 02 2007 at 4:03am | IP Logged
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Joelle,
I always think it is healthy to have a small, creative outlet that is something you enjoy or delight in and I don't think there is anything selfish in that.
I have always needed a little outlet and my husband has always understood and supported me in that (God bless him!) In the early years I did my portraits, they were done in the home, for the last 4 years I have been a part of a Gregorian chant choir and practise is once a week, it has been a cosy, homely group, where we sing and go down to Macca's afterwards for coffee and cake, we sing at Masses and other medieval/singing events - my oldest child comes with me and enjoys it too.
I would love to learn illumination manuscripting and would like to book into lessons but sadly I found out today that the lady has retired from it...maybe I can learn it at home via books...
Sometimes getting out the door for practise has been great 'time out' after a hard day or week and it has helped in it's own way with the general coping with things.
I suppose it can seem selfish since I can't remember my mother ever going out for her own time but I personally have not found my committments putting too much pressure on the family and that is where I can thank my husband for his loving support in making it fuss free.
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Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!
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Paula in MN
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| Posted: Jan 02 2007 at 7:35am | IP Logged
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I know that I need time for myself, so I do participate in outside activities. But they are both *related* to homeschooling. Our little town is in the process of building a new and much needed library. I am on the committee for that. Also, I am on an advisory board group that is helping our county re-write their zoning and development codes. Each group meets once a month for a few hours, and it is nice to be involved in *community* activities, especially ones that benefit us in the future.
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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Maddie
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| Posted: Jan 02 2007 at 8:57am | IP Logged
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I remember reading Karen Andreola's book, "A Charlotte Mason Companion" and she recommended making sure you take time for yourself and take advantage of using Mother Culture to refresh yourself. It really isn't taking away from your family, but is actually helping your family. Anything you learn while taking time for yourself, you will pass on to your family.Cm says "Do not think that it is a selfish thing to do, because the advantage does not end with yourself."
You will come back to your family more refreshed, more focused and more patient which really benefits all.
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~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
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Mare
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| Posted: Jan 02 2007 at 10:49am | IP Logged
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Hi Joelle,
I know for myself, that I need time to myself everyday. I used to feel like I was being selfish until I saw and my family saw the difference when I would take an hour for myself. That hour helps me to rejuvenate and feel refreshed enough to make it to 8 pm. 
When my children were younger, I would use their 2 hour afternoon nap time for me. Now that they are older, they don't take naps but they are required to spend an hour of quiet time in their rooms. They may read, sketch or play quietly in their rooms while I read, catch up on emails, exercise or work on one of my own projects.
My dh is very supportive of giving me more time if I ask for it. Every now and then, I am able to be gone for an entire Saturday to go on retreat or hang out with my aunts and cousins. Once a month, I try to get together with friends on a Saturday morning. Because I am home all day everyday with my girls, it does make a big difference for me.
Mare
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marianne
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| Posted: Jan 03 2007 at 2:16pm | IP Logged
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I get time to myself pretty regularly. My dh watches the kids so that I can take walks (with baby in stroller) or do an exercise video or something. This might be 2-4 times a week, more in the summer. I will also sneak away down to my scrapbooking corner in the basement if he has them occupied with playing computer games or something. This is less regular, but I do find time to scrapbook.
I also get a babysitter one afternoon a week, for appointments, errands, and/or time to exercise. I don't feel guilty because I'm hardly doing anything luxurious - working out is not a luxury, it is necessary for my physical and mental health, just like for anyone else.
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Martha in VA
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| Posted: Jan 03 2007 at 4:44pm | IP Logged
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Joelle,
I don't think you're being selfish to ask about this. It's just a matter of deciding what best suits you and your family. I run regularly but that's done before the children are out of bed. I want to encourage in your scrapbooking though. I know it's easy to think "I just can't to get to it now. I'll pull it out once they're grown". But you know, whenever I work on our family albums, God really uses that to cause me to love my family more. Something about reliving those special times I'm busy recording in our album grows thankfulness in my heart - for my Dh and for my awesome girls. So, I have come to decide that scrapbooking is not selfish at all if it causes me to love my family more.
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4dds,miracle son 4/09, 2 in heaven
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 03 2007 at 7:42pm | IP Logged
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I don't have any *planned* time away. And I don't think I necessarily need to be doing something only for me. I mean.. sometimes my time away is going grocery shopping, since the time I need is often only time to not be "on duty" chasing toddlers and cuddling babies and listening to the endless chatter of the older kids
I've sent myself to my room for a time out 
I'll go for a walk or bike ride or swimming (public pool is close and swimming laps wears me out fast so I can do this in about 30-45 minutes)
But it's more something I decide when I need to get away and what I want to do while doing so. I don't have to plan it out ahead of time.
Also, sometimes, I've discovered that the whole household is better for both the kids and I going out.. even though I don't get a break.. more work in some ways.. but we all tend to come back with a better attitude than we left with.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Time for Mom?
