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mommylori
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| Posted: Dec 26 2006 at 6:45pm | IP Logged
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I am having a major issue with patience, when I am pregnant, I just get mean.lol Am I the only one and does anyone have any tips? this will be my 4th baby, so you think I would be getting used to it.lol
My biggest fear is we are quiverful and I am 27 with 4, soooo and I get preggo at the drop of a hat, soooo, I am going to probley have a much larger family, but I think my dh will be changing his mind, if I can't be nicer when I am pregnant.lol So how do those of you with more children get the patience to handle it? did you start with it or did it grow as it was needed?
I think lack of sleep and holidays and the chaos has caused my kids all to go banana's and making me even more irritable also.lol
Lori
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momwats8
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| Posted: Dec 26 2006 at 7:19pm | IP Logged
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Lori = i am mean and impatient when I am pregnant too and dh hasn't changed his mind yet.  the kids adjust and learn to deal with it and they learn to be more helpful when i am over dosed with hormones.
we have 8 kids and it does not get easier. I have actually found as I age that it is harder. I recently began to take vitamin b12. It was recommended for mood swings and it has helped. I also have learned when I am getting to that point of no return to try and just go and hang out in my room alone for 10 minutes even if it means screaming out loud while I am in there. I also try to warn them when I am going to blow and please for the older ones to get the younger ones busy with an activity while I give myself a timeout.
i know this may not help but know you are NOT alone!!! 
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Mary- Wife to Mike and Mother to Austin(92), Mikey(95), R.J.(97), Benedict(98), Kolbe(00), Ignatius(02), Christian(03), Margaret(05),&4 angels in heaven
http://www.momwats8.blogspot.com
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: Dec 26 2006 at 7:56pm | IP Logged
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Lori,
You are not alone.
I am not pregnant (though definitely still open to being), but I am now 40 and must be facing early menopause like my mother and grandmother did in their early 40's.
I always felt my best when pregnant. Now I find my nerves breaking into a full tsunami when the younger ones crawl on top of me whether I'm on the sofa or at the computer (yes, even at ages 9 and 5 they still climb on you  ). Any bickering is trying me nuts. 
I find myself trying to control my environment more, getting upset with messes that have been repeatedly picked up, and lacking the patience I had even two years ago.
I'm wondering why these hormones are such crazy things to live with when the ideal is for us (as women and keepers of the home and hearth) is to remain controlled and calm and patient and loving. 
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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Alice R
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| Posted: Dec 26 2006 at 7:58pm | IP Logged
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I am not the happiest person when I'm pregnant either. I know there are people who look and feel great, but I am NOT one of them. I feel horrible, look horrible and probably act pretty horribly. I'm just so darn sick and my back hurts so bad and last pregnancy I got kidney stones! It's hard not to be cranky.
I really have no suggestions to help you. I'd be interested in a few myself.
OK, my post was totally not helpful but I just wanted to give you a cyber hug and tell you that you are not alone.
Alice R
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Mom to Nathaniel (10), Noah (8) Alise (6) Rebekah (3)and expecting another blessing Faith, Grace and Family
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Dec 27 2006 at 8:04am | IP Logged
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Lori,
I will share with you my experience which differs slightly from what everyone else has shared. I do indeed suffer moments where I am just flat out mean, especially while I am pregnant. (I had my 6th at 27!  )
What has gotten better is that I have learned how to handle those times better. The b12 vitamins that Mary recommended have helped me TONS. I have also worked very hard at forming habits of praying, (pick one that suits you or offer a spontaneous ejaculation up) a cup of RRleaf, and sometimes a nap or just a few minutes 'out'. Equip yourself with tools to ease those rough moments. Tell your husband and older children what those tools are so then can help you when you need it. This of course is easier as they get older, but a 8 year old can prepare a cup of tea, a 10 year old can keep an eye on the younger ones while you sit in your bedroom to pray for a few moments, etc...
Another thing that works for me, I mentioned this in another thread, is to pretend you are not in one of those moods. Smile, even when it feels impossible, laugh when you want to cry. These things may change your mood even quicker than you think!
Also know that you are not alone. I would wager that most women struggle with this hormonal roller coaster. Pregnancy and lactation can really intesify it. Husbands and children are usually more understanding than what we give them credit for too.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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mommylori
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| Posted: Dec 27 2006 at 9:50am | IP Logged
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I need an 8 or 10 year old.lol My oldest is 6, but he is being very helpful this pregnacy, he is really trying to keep everyone quiet when I am moody.lol
I am going to try the b12. One thing is I can't take prenatals at all, I have tryed everytrick in the book, if I take them I become violently ill and it last for about 24 hours. I have with all my children, and have tried every vitamen you can think of.lol Sooo, will plain b12 mess with your tummy?
Lori
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Lisbet
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I have actually found a good B-complex to help nausea.
It really does get easier when your older children can help you out. I have found my oldest son really takes good care of me. This started when he was about 8 or so. He gets it from his father, and he is passing it on to his younger brothers!
How far along are you right now? Does it usually get easier on you in the second trimester?
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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mommylori
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| Posted: Dec 27 2006 at 10:37am | IP Logged
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I am 7 months right now.lol This is my first real spat with morning sickness, so maybe a girl?lol But it has gotten much better.lol But still getting sick about 3 times a week.lol
but it seems my mood is getting worse as I go along.lol I haven't had much back pain, just nausia and heartburn.lol The normal pregnacy stuff right?lol
Lori
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Dawnie
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| Posted: Dec 27 2006 at 11:25am | IP Logged
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Lori,
I am less patient when I am pregnant, too. I get very emotional and moody in the last trimester. I have struggled with both depression and post-partum depression, and I just recently realized that anxiety is at the root of my emotional problems. I get anxious about not being able to get it all done, and then I blow up. Or I get anxious b/c the kids are fighting, or being disobedient and I think, "They're NEVER going to learn to behave! How can I get them to behave??!!" and then I end up blowing up out of anxiety and frustration that I can't solve the problem RIGHT NOW. For me, practicing patience is very closely tied to controlling my anxiety problems. I've learned that if I can get the anxiety under control, then it's easier to be patient and kind.
The house is a total wreck today. Today and tomorrow are dh's days off from work, so we will be digging out of the Christmas mess. I tried cleaning up some yesterday while he was at work, and usually such a huge mess would put me in a really bad mood (because I would feel anxious about not being able to get it cleaned up in one day). I kept telling myself to do one thing at a time and that it was okay if I didn't get it all cleaned up at once. It worked--I didn't blow up and I made some progress with the mess. Now, let's see if I can keep it up!
That's just my experience. Hope it helps!
Dawn
Dawn
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: patience
