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mary theresa
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| Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 4:17pm | IP Logged
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Okay, all these questions have been in my head for a while and I was embarassed to post them because I feel like I should already be on board with all this if I'm in this forum.  But now I figure this is the best place to ask them, so, bear with me . . . ?
My questions are about ecological breastfeeding.
I've taken NFP classes and I have a theoretical knowledge of what ecological breastfeeding is from the Kippley's NFP book. But I wanted to ask all you good, loving mothers: Why do you ecologically breastfeed -- as opposed to exclusive breastfeeding? I need reasons other than simply to get a later return of fertility -- which the Kippley book says is not the reason to ec. b-feed, but a result of it. What does ec. b-feeding do for the child and the mother that exclusive b-feeding does not?
I guess I'm confused because I have a 9 month old and I exclusively b-fed her until 6 mos. She's still almost only nursing, not eating more than 4 oz. of baby food once a day. She's getting plenty of milk -- already 23 lbs. She's happy, she's bonded to me (won't let me leave the rm sometimes!),and I'm bonded to her, of course
But, I did do most of the things the Kippley's say not to do. I gave a pacifier to her her first day (I was SO sore and she only wanted sucking!). I schedule her feedings. She only slept in our bed the second part of the night till 3 mos. old. She never got up more than twice in the night to eat and that was fine by me so I didn't wake her up. By 5 1/2 mos. she was sleeping from 7pm to 6am in her own room. I work at a CGS Atrium 2 afternoons a week for 3.5 hrs (starting when she was 6 mos old) and she doesn't come with me. I do plan on nursing her as long as I can, but other than that I violate all the seven tenants!
Needless to say -- I got my cycles back at 2 months.  The way I'm doing things now is the way my mom mothered us, and my youngest brother is 4.5, so this is fresh in my mind AND I get all my advice from her. (BTW, even doing that, she never got her cycles back b4 one yr --  )
The thing is, the way I'm doing it now is working for me. I'm a scheduler and I like order, so I feed the baby at specific times, I believe in the importance of sleep --for everyone, so I "trained" the baby to go to sleep un-aided. She won't eat in public, she's very business-like in her nursing -- 10 min. focused nursing then done and wants to get on with her life , doesn't much like cuddling and will get mad at me if I try to feed her and that's not what she wants -- how do you even ec. b-feed a little one like that?
Anyways, I guess my question is, because what I am doing is working for me and her and I don't feel regrets about it really (except the fertility return part)-- does that mean I should still consider ec. b-feeding my next one? Is ec. b-feeding objectively better than what I'm doing? Am I in some way depriving my daughter, emotionally or psycologically? Have you all who started out like me actually seen differences in your normal breast-fed versus your ecologically breast fed children? What am I missing?
I feel like since so many admirable and loving mothers choose this road, there must be something to it that I'm not seeing, that is more than all I get from the chapter in THe Art of Natural Family Planning. That chapter doesn't convince me -- maybe you all can? Isn't it important to teach the child to go to sleep and sleep thru the night? Isn't it important that they understand that they are not the center of the world, that every relationship is give-and-take, that Mom and Dad need to sleep and have time together and that is why they must sleep by themselves eventually? Isn't it important not to let them think that food is the answer to their every problem? Doesn't order and schedules give children a sense of security in their lives?
Sorry for SO many questions! I hope you don't mind? I'm so interested to hear what you all think, especially since you've been mothers for so much longer than I! Thank you for reading this long post!
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 4:39pm | IP Logged
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I really have a hard time coming up with positive things to say about they way the Kippleys address breastfeeding. I have always had such a difficult time with this for many reasons. I have a very strong dislike for the 7 (or however many their are now) rules of breastfeeding.
That said, I do breastfeed all of my babies, until at least 2 years, some of them much much longer. They have all slept in my bed and nursed unrestricted day and night, no bottles, paci's, or mother subs. I don't do this because Sheila Kippley said so, or because it is supposed to keep my fertility at bay. I do it because it is the way I feel convicted to mother my babies.
I don't think babies need to be 'trained' to sleep, I firmly believe breastfeeding is about much much more than food, and nothing gives a baby more of a sense of securtiy than mama and her comforting milk.
Phew! All that said...
From your post, you seem confident and secure in the way you are mothering your little one. If the arrangement is working, then there is no problem, right? Breastfeeding is not birth control, and should not be viewed as such. I don't know why anyone would think it's okay to list a bunch of rules for the correct way to breastfeed a baby. They may be beneficial, of course, plenty of rest, etc... Many of those are common sense. But for me, the nursing relationship is so unique, intimate, and personal, with each individual child. Try not to get caught up in any rules and regulations, just relax and you and your little one will come up with what works for you, you'r own beautiful, intimate, personal, mother-baby dance.
As for the return of fertility part, well, if you are nursing your baby the way you feel is best for you and your baby, then your fertility has returned exactly when it is supposed to. Please don't feel like you have done something 'wrong' beacuse you are cycling again. That's a bunch of hooey!! Again, breastfeeding is about feeding and nurturing your baby, not preventing pregnancy. While that may be part of it for some women, it's NOT a failure on the part of another. Breastfeeding is not birth control! (sorry to repeat myself, but, I've been through the whole guilt/second guessing ordeal myself, my fertility returns very early each time, I've been told by others I must be doing something 'wrong', so this is a sore spot for me!)
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Angel
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| Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 6:19pm | IP Logged
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You know, even though the Kippleys *said* they were advocating ecological breastfeeding because of the benefits to the baby, I still think a heavy current of "this will postpone your return to fertility" runs through their work. It does seem confusing.
I've nursed 3 babies, but was unable to nurse my twins and had a lot of guilt from that at first. But what I have come to realize after all these kids is that no 2 are alike (not even twins). For instance, you talk about scheduling feedings and training your baby to sleep. This was really impossible for us. When I had my first, I didn't know very much about what I was doing. I *tried* to schedule his feedings, and I *tried* to train him to sleep. But he cried and cried and cried until I nursed him. And as far as sleep went, he could have cried until he exploded. As we've gone on, I have loosened up with each kid. Now we are co-sleeping with our twins. We'd have gotten zero sleep otherwise.
I think your gauge should always be the happiness of your baby. So if your baby is happy and gaining well, then I don't think there's any reason to change what you're doing. But statistically speaking (and I don't that the Kippleys acknowledge that there will be outliers, women for whom an early return to fertility is completely normal no matter what they do), *most* women will have their fertility return later rather than earlier *if* they nurse on demand, *if* they nurse at night for longer than our culture says you're "supposed to", *if* you delay solid foods until 6 months.
But I don't think that following a rigid set of rules makes sense in any case. For instance, if I had a baby who slept through the night at 3 months, I sure wouldn't wake him to feed him at night!!! (Oh, if only that would happen! ) I've also given my babies solid food at 4 months, and had a return to fertility at 7 months, 12 months, and 20 months respectively. And after about 3 or 4 months, all my babies have fallen into their own 3 hour schedule pretty much on their own. I don't give my babies pacifiers, mainly because I would rather have a live person soothe them... but I've always had incredible soreness (read: pain) for the first 4-6 weeks and know what that's like, too.
As far as children needing schedules and routines, learning they are not the center of the universe, etc... I find that comes naturally in a large family. Siblings take care of a child feeling as if he's the center of the universe pretty quickly. Might as well give them a little extra cuddling when they're tiny, because those months fly by all too fast.
--Angela
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SeaStar
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| Posted: Dec 23 2006 at 7:37am | IP Logged
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Goodness- I have never heard of Kippley, and I nursed both mine (and I am still nursing my 2 yo), plus cosleep- because that is what works for us. I nurse on demand, at night, no pacifiers- and still got my cycles back by 7-8 months. No big deal- that is just how it happened.
If you have happy, healthy children and are content with the way things are at your house, I would say don't worry yourself. Of the millions of nursing women world wide, I would venture to say that most of them have never heard of Kippley, either- and we can't all be doing things "wrong".
Also- I have read that the overabundance of estrogen in processed food, meat and milk is contributing to early return of fertility. Kind of scary....
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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SaraP
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| Posted: Jan 03 2007 at 12:27pm | IP Logged
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You know I ecologically breastfeed just because that's what makes sense to me and the way things work best for us and my cycles still returned at 10 weeks after my first was born . . . which was fine. My oldest two are 16 months apart and I wouldn't have it any other way.
As a general answer to your questions as a whole, there is not a 'best' way to mother one's children, every mother and every child is different and you should do what works best for YOUR family regardless of what the 'experts' say.
To answer your specific points:
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| Isn't it important to teach the child to go to sleep and sleep thru the night? |
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I don't think so. I sleep through the night (when the baby doesn't wake me that is  ). My siblings all sleep through the night. My 5 and 4 year olds go to bed by 7 or 7:30 each night and sleep until 6 or 7 the next morning. And none of us was ever taught to sleep. Little children do eventually develop the ability to sleep longer and longer stretches just like they learn to walk and talk without being specifically taught.
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| Isn't it important that they understand that they are not the center of the world, that every relationship is give-and-take, that Mom and Dad need to sleep and have time together and that is why they must sleep by themselves eventually? |
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Yes, but again it's a matter of when. A 3 or a 4 year old can understand that mommy and daddy need mommy-daddy time and that once he has been tucked in he needs to stay in bed unless he is sick or scared. But a 3 or 4 month old is only just beginning to realize that she and I are separate people and has no way of appreciating or intentionally cooperating with mommy's and daddy's needs.
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| Isn't it important not to let them think that food is the answer to their every problem? |
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Yes, but nursing isn't only about food. That's why you can't give a distraught infant a cookie and expect everything to be all better and why you can rock or stroke or otherwise soothe even an ecologically breastfed baby without nursing if that's what you prefer. It's just that at 2am nursing is usually a lot easier on me and, since there's no real reason not to soothe the baby that way, I am happy to take the easy way back to sleep. 
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| Doesn't order and schedules give children a sense of security in their lives? |
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Yes, but I don't find that nursing the baby when she is hungry or upset disrupts our routine any more than helping the 4 year old use the bathroom when he needs to. With little kids schedules and routines must be flexible and nursing when baby wants to nurse is just part of that flexibility to me. And because we do have a routine and wake/meal/nap/bedtime are reasonably consistent I do find that everyone's nursing and bathroom visits are pretty consistent as well. But I wouldn't refuse to nurse an obviously hungry baby just because it wasn't 'time' any more than I would refuse to let one of my older children go to the bathroom because it wasn't time for that.
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| Anyways, I guess my question is, because what I am doing is working for me and her and I don't feel regrets about it really (except the fertility return part)-- does that mean I should still consider ec. b-feeding my next one? Is ec. b-feeding objectively better than what I'm doing? Am I in some way depriving my daughter, emotionally or psycologically? Have you all who started out like me actually seen differences in your normal breast-fed versus your ecologically breast fed children? What am I missing? |
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Leaving aside the whole return of fertility thing (which the others have addressed well), I think even the Kippleys would agree that the main reason for avoiding pacifiers, feeding schedules and prolonged separation (long enough to require that someone else fee the baby) from young babies is that these things can cause a decrease in milk supply, failure to thrive and/or other problems nursing for some babies.
But, again, if the way you are doing things right now works, why worry about changing it?
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Mama to six on earth, two in heaven and two waiting in Russia. Foxberry Farm Almanac
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Jenny
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mary theresa wrote:
| Isn't it important to teach the child to go to sleep and sleep thru the night? Isn't it important that they understand that they are not the center of the world, that every relationship is give-and-take, that Mom and Dad need to sleep and have time together and that is why they must sleep by themselves eventually? Isn't it important not to let them think that food is the answer to their every problem? Doesn't order and schedules give children a sense of security in their lives? |
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I think it is inportant to teach children to sleep and to realize they are part of a family where everyone has needs to be met. But, I do not think you can teach this to an infant. I may be wrong, this is my opinion only An infant has a need of food, sleep, love, comfort; they are all intertwined. Nursing not only nourishes a physical hunger but an emotional attachment is met as well. I do not think that an infant "learns" that if mom doesn't respond to my cry/my need, that means I must wait my turn because I am not the center of attention. I do not think an infant "learns" that self soothing is a beneficial way to satisfy my need so that mom & dad can have some one-on-one time. I do not think an infant "learns" that sleeping through the night has greater sleep benefits for herself and the rest of the family.
I have bf'd all 5 of my children (still nursing the baby, 15 months, on demand) without knowing I was ec~breastfeeding. My fertility has always returned by the 6th month until the last baby. After Bridget my fertility returned at 11 months; go figure
Are you doing something wrong? That is for you & your husband to decide. It seems like you are being prompted to at least understand your "why" in your style of parenting; that does not mean you are doing something wtong & need to change. It can just be a time to clarify your beliefs in your parenting.
This can be a touchy subject...parenting, breastfeeding, etc...since tone can never be conveyed in type, I want you to know my "tone". I posted this in a loving, heartfelt manner of discussion. 
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Jenny
Chris' wife and momma of 7. My blog: The Littlest Way--Bible Journaling, Inspiring Bible Quotes, Daily Affirmations, Prayer Journaling & photography
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Elizabeth
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I don't have nearly the time to write all the things that come to mind here but the first thing I thought of is how interesting it is to me that young mothers are so afraid of their fertility and mothers of many are so hopeful they will retain it just a little longer. Please don't regret your fertility returning. It really is the rare family that has seventeen children and I think that those mothers will agree that God gave them the grace to joyfully welcome every one.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Maryan
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mary theresa wrote:
| Why do you ecologically breastfeed -- as opposed to exclusive breastfeeding? I need reasons other than simply to get a later return of fertility -- |
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Mary Theresa - it sounds like you're doing a great job as a Mom. I think God inspires prayerful Moms to do what is best for her particular family and we can take confidence in that.
But since you asked, I breastfeed my little ones in bed, on demand, unrestricted, without pacifiers etc. until they wean themselves because: breastfeeding is easy for me; "they" say it's great for my little ones for many reasons; I love being able to take care of their needs; and they seem to love my nursing! I'm a little bit of a ditz, so I wouldn't be able to follow a schedule (or use a bottle that required preparing because I would always be out of formula!!) It's so easy for me because I nurse when the baby tells me too and he's always with me! And finally, ironically enough, having the baby in bed with me helps me sleep better than without him!
I am one of those "ecologically breastfeeding" anomalies who gets her cycles back right away. Avoiding cycles is not why I nurse my babies the way I do, so it doesn't matter to me. In fact far from considering myself an "ecological failure," I have named each one of my happy successes: John Paul (5), Bobby (3 1/2), Michael (almost 2) Luke 3 mos and the two that I'm waiting to meet in heaven Angela and Gabriella.
So again my suggestion is: self reflection is never a bad thing. However, pray and do what God seems to be calling you to for you, your baby and your family and then don't waste your precious time feeling guilty.
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Lisbet
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Maryan, what a great post! I love how you have 'named your successes'! I've never felt a failure at breastfeeding (good grief I've nursed some for 5 years and more, nursed 3 at times, nursed in bed and 24/7!) But I have had others tell me that I must be doing something 'wrong' because my fertility returns so early, mothers that I generally respect their opinion! Which has caused me to wonder if there was something 'wrong' with me!
I wonder though, just how many of us get our cycles back right away while breastfeeding? I'm begining to think it's not as uncommon as we've been led to believe.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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SaraP
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Maryan wrote:
| But since you asked, I breastfeed my little ones in bed, on demand, unrestricted, without pacifiers etc. until they wean themselves because: breastfeeding is easy for me; "they" say it's great for my little ones for many reasons; I love being able to take care of their needs; and they seem to love my nursing! |
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Yes, exactly!
Having a sweet little nursling snuggled up in bed with me is one of the greatest pleasure in life, IMHO - for mom and baby.
Lisbet wrote:
| I wonder though, just how many of us get our cycles back right away while breastfeeding? I'm begining to think it's not as uncommon as we've been led to believe. |
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I don't think it's uncommon at all. The Kippleys' data on the child-spacing effects of ecological breastfeeding was based on the experiences of only 127 women. (Edited because I posted the wrong number initially.) I think breastfeeding does significantly delay the return of fertility for more women than it doesn't, but I don't think seeing one's cycles return early (before, say, 6 months), even while fully breastfeeding, makes one a rare outlier or an anomaly or anything other than a healthy, well-nourished woman.
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Mama to six on earth, two in heaven and two waiting in Russia. Foxberry Farm Almanac
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JodieLyn
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my cycles return very early too.. just after the 56 days (8weeks and a bit) you can ignore for NFP purposes. But don't actually ovulate until 4-5 months.. but my babies sleep longer stretches at night than is "acceptable".. oh well.. I'd rather have the sleep
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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Jenny
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I have 2 girlfriends (well, actually a few more than that ) anyway...
one nurses on demand, no pacifiers, no supplements, no schedules, no mom/baby separation, etc...Her cycles always return w/in 2 months!
the other nurses on a strict schedule, pacifiers galore in all shapes, colors and sizes, supplements pumped bottles...her cycles do not return until she is no longer nursing at all; which usually happens around the one year mark.
Who knows the ways of a woman's wonderfully God made body, but the maker Himself 
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Jenny
Chris' wife and momma of 7. My blog: The Littlest Way--Bible Journaling, Inspiring Bible Quotes, Daily Affirmations, Prayer Journaling & photography
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teachingmom
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JodieLyn wrote:
| but my babies sleep longer stretches at night than is "acceptable".. oh well.. I'd rather have the sleep |
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I would too now! But back when I was a new mom of my first dd, I participated in a breastfeeding medical study. It set out to prove that breastfeeding within certain parameters kept fertility at bay for at least the first 6 months after childbirth. In general, the baby couldn't have breaks between feedings of longer than 4 hours during the day and 6 hours at night. I nursed on demand and did not schedule my baby's feedings, except to be sure I nursed at least as often as required. I thought being part of that study was important at the time, so even though my baby was willing and able to sleep longer than 6 hours at a stretch at night, I actually set my alarm to WAKE HER UP to breastfeed her once at night. (Can you believe I did that??!!) Looking back, I would have been much smarter to choose the sleep and let my baby choose how often to nurse.
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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Erin
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mary theresa wrote:
The thing is, the way I'm doing it now is working for me. I'm a scheduler and I like order, so I feed the baby at specific times, I believe in the importance of sleep --for everyone, so I "trained" the baby to go to sleep un-aided. She won't eat in public, she's very business-like in her nursing -- 10 min. focused nursing then done and wants to get on with her life , doesn't much like cuddling and will get mad at me if I try to feed her and that's not what she wants -- how do you even ec. b-feed a little one like that?
Anyways, I guess my question is, because what I am doing is working for me and her and I don't feel regrets about it really (except the fertility return part)-- does that mean I should still consider ec. b-feeding my next one? |
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Mary Theresa
If what you are doing is working for you and both of you are happy continue to do so and don't worry. Having said that what you do with your first baby may not be what you feel like doing with your second. You will grow as a mother and be at a different space then.
Ecolgocial breastfeeding is not for everyone, confession time  I did not enjoy breastfeeding till my fifth baby I did it because that was the best for my baby etc but I never actually 'enjoyed' it till then.
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Erin
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mary theresa
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Okay, last week I tried to write this long thank you post TWICE and it got deleted right at the end. I was so frustrated and I gave up! But I really am going to write now to thank you all SO much for everything that you have said and the food for thought that you have shared with me! I appreciate so much hearing thoughts and advice from wiser mothers than myself -- I want so much to do things right!
I am realizing, and reading all your thoughts has been so great in helping this realization, that each mother-child relationship is as individual as the persons involved. My relationship with my daughter is one that will not be repeated with any other child that (God willing!) I will have. Lisa, as you said, that "mother-baby dance" is so personal and unique and beautifully our own. I am realizing too that it is so easy for me to compare too much with other ways of doing things, wondering if I am doing things wrong. As Erin said, what I am doing now may change with another baby and you all have definitely shown me the loveliness of that individuality -- that what is working for us is OKAY -- even if it isn't totally ecological .
As an aside, I wonder if, because we are Catholics, anything that sounds like relativity makes us second guess ourselves? I wonder if, subconsciously I tend to want to search for the ONE TRUE way of doing something, because I have this knowledge that truth is ONE and absolute, so doesn't that apply to other things too? Okay, I know, maybe that's a stretch . . . But I am finding that many people, even my wonderful family members and friends, can judge or "pontificate" about things like there is only one way to do something and any other way is lesser. kwim? Like a over-extreme way of letting Catholicity pervade our lives?? I don't know if I'm being clear . . .
There just isn't one way to mother or discipline or nurse or homeschool, or anything that is open to the beautiful variety of the each of the women's souls who take up these tasks in the hearts of their families and homes.
I realise I am rambling and you all are probably thinking, "Well, Duh?" But I am just learning to have self-confidence in my own mothering, to trust myself as a mother, to believe that I am choosing what I believe and pray to be the best for me and my family. I think Maryan said this -- that while I may be called to self-reflection and perhaps to change what I am doing, now or in the future, I should not feel that change needs to happen because "so-n-so says its better." I love breastfeeding . . . I love my "conversations" with my girlie when she's nursing . . . I am going to breastfeed as long as I can -- all this is because I choose these for her and for me and all the children to come. Period.
Thanks for letting me "talk" out my thoughts. Sorry if they are a bit jumbled! It is hard sometimes in this whole define-myself-as-a-mother phase that I am going through. I have a number of good college friends that are new mothers as well, and sometimes I think the tendency is strong to over-analyze, over-compare and get worried about our own ways of doing things, while we share this time of setting out on this adventure!
I loved reading everything you had to say! Thank you so much for your time and thoughts. They have been a blessing.
Oh, I hope this doesn't sound stupid! I have to just POST now . . .
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Mary Theresa
mother to 3 little girls --March '06, Dec '07 and Jan '10
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mary theresa
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Elizabeth wrote:
| how interesting it is to me that young mothers are so afraid of their fertility and mothers of many are so hopeful they will retain it just a little longer. Please don't regret your fertility returning. It really is the rare family that has seventeen children and I think that those mothers will agree that God gave them the grace to joyfully welcome every one. |
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I'm SORRY I used that word -- "regret" -- it wasn't the right one! And I wouldn't say I'm afraid -- I think that may be too strong of a word? -- of my fertility -- at least not now. I will say though that when my baby was 2 mos. old, and I was sore, sleep-deprived, hormonal and barely just starting to get the hang of things, I WAS very . . . um . . . nervous that my fertility was back. All I could think of was: "I might have to do this all AGAIN in 9 mos!??" The memory of labor and all the rest has dimmed now -- thankfully! -- so I guess I could do that again , but it took a while. I think I'm kind-of wimpy
Elizabeth -- do you know someone who had seventeen children? Or were you just picking a big number?
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Mary Theresa
mother to 3 little girls --March '06, Dec '07 and Jan '10
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Elizabeth
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I know a few families in that range. As a matter of fact, my next door neighbor was number 6 of 14. I was so glad to see them move in--I figured they wouldn't be very inclined to complain about all those things that come with big families like toys in the yard (and their yard). And every time my neighbor's mother visited, I was glad for the chance to ask her how she did it.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Bridget
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One of my best friends has 17, her sister has 12 and they come from a family of 16. Actually I know more than a handful of double digit families. 
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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CathinCoffeland
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I just had to add that i had several friend growing up in families with 13 and one with 17 -it was in Utah though .
Also I know often one of the first things people will ask is "do they sleep at night"
Well I have never slept through the night, neither has dh in 10 yrs of marriage- it would be hard to expect my dc too. (they do more than us!)
So much of it really has to do with the body/personality God gave us- I dont think its Relativism to say we are all different in this sense to say that each child needs to be raised a little differently- we each have unique souls- jsut a thought -
Maggie
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mary theresa
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CathinCoffeland wrote:
I dont think its Relativism to say we are all different in this sense to say that each child needs to be raised a little differently- we each have unique souls- jsut a thought -
Maggie |
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I don't at all either!! I was trying to say exactly what you just did. I was only commenting on the fact that some Catholics I know CAN have the mindset of "This is the only way to do xyz." Many non-Catholic people I know are more open and tolerant to different family styles -- of course in a bad way too  but tolerance *can* be good when it comes to non-moral issues in family life, kwim?
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Mary Theresa
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Lots of questions! I'm new at this!
