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Martha
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| Posted: Nov 09 2006 at 10:29am | IP Logged
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Dh is out of town and I need to make a milk run. The grocery store is literally 5 mintues away, so to grab a few things and get back would be no more than 45 minutes, and most likely under 30 minutes.
Rather than take all 8 dc, I would like to wait until after bedtimes and only take the littlest.
I think our 10 and 11 (nearly 12) year old sons should be old enough to handle sitting alone in the living room watching tv (a treat for their responsiblity) while the others sleep and I run to the store.
It would be the first time they have been left alone at all. They do know how to call me on the cell phone and all the phone/door rules - basicly don't answer either AT ALL except for when they see "MOM" in the phone id label.
I grew up latch key kid and know many others who did much younger than this and I babysat several children while they were awake for several hours at a time by these ages without problems.
I am nervous, but there comes a point where I feel a parent has to say a prayer and test the waters within reason, kwim?
So. Would you think I'm a horrible mother if I did this?
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
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Bridget
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| Posted: Nov 09 2006 at 10:39am | IP Logged
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Thats exactly the ages mine were when i started leaving them for things like that. And the same way, at night, after littles were in bed for a quick trip to the store. i still pray a lot when i leave them but they have handled the responsibility well.
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Nov 09 2006 at 10:54am | IP Logged
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that would be about the ages I'd start doing little short things like that.
personally I'm looking forward to it for exactly those type of run out real quick trips.. and maybe getting a bit of swim time for ME at the public pool. 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Nov 09 2006 at 11:06am | IP Logged
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Martha, I just want to warn you to be careful who knows if you do this. When Nicholas turned 11 last March, I began leaving him to watch his sleeping siblings (I always took the baby) while I ran my husband to work. (we have 1 car, he works about 10 minutes away, I would be gone 20 mins. tops) I kept my cell with me, and all numbers posted in plain sight. I told my next door neighbor, who I thought I could trust, so he could go to her if an issue were to arise. She was as nice as could be about it, and things were fine. Nicholas relished the extra responsiblity, and I think it was good for him.
Well, neighbor lady told her husband one day when I left. That was listed on the report from CPS when he called. The social worker did say it was fine that we did that, there is no set age in Ohio law to leave a child, but nonetheless, we don't do it anymore.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Martha
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| Posted: Nov 09 2006 at 11:37am | IP Logged
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Okay. I feel a little more confident about this now.
Guess I just needed some reassurance that it was time for another milestone.
Oh, I'd never tell anyone my kids were without me.
Even if I can trust them, who knows who they will tell in general conversation?
Aside from CPS issue (which I don't think would be valid here either) for all I know they could tell some punk who'd break in or some child predator! 
No, I won't be letting others know when they can get my kids alone!
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Martha
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5athome
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| Posted: Nov 09 2006 at 11:48am | IP Logged
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My only caution would be to make sure they have a plan in case of fire (I know, so remote but you really should have a plan).
My biggest fear when I do this (and my oldest are 12 & 10 and I do do this) is what happens if I get a flat tire/car trouble/etc... I have told them not to answer the phone so how do I let them know I will be gone longer??
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Nov 09 2006 at 12:03pm | IP Logged
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I just want to make it clear that I though I could trust my neighbor, and I told her in case the children had an issue, they could knock on her door. She was fine with it, her husband on the other hand...
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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humanaevitae
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| Posted: Nov 09 2006 at 12:08pm | IP Logged
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It might be best to check on the laws in this area for your state.
As long as your kids are comfortable with it, I would be fine with it. However I wouldn't want to risk CPS trouble.
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Nicole-Zane 10, Elizabeth 7, Xavier 4, and John Patrick 2
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Martha
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| Posted: Nov 09 2006 at 2:09pm | IP Logged
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5athomw wrote:
"I have told them not to answer the phone so how do I let them know I will be gone longer??"
I will have my cell phone with me and they can call it. Also I've programmed our home phone to display the words "MOM" or "DAD" when those phone numbers are comming through, this way they know they can answer.
Lisa wrote:
" just want to make it clear that I though I could trust my neighbor, and I told her in case the children had an issue, they could knock on her door."
I understand. My reasoning is not an issue of trustng those I might feel comfortable telling. It's a question of word getting out in the neighborhood and not knowing whose hands that it might fall into.
Nicole wrote:
"It might be best to check on the laws in this area for your state.
As long as your kids are comfortable with it, I would be fine with it. However I wouldn't want to risk CPS trouble."
THAT is a whole other rant!  (Not against you personally, but certain gov't issues.  ) Now, I'm curious so I might look it up.
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Martha
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Nov 09 2006 at 2:18pm | IP Logged
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Interestingly enough, the man next door sent us a letter after our lawyer contacted him saying that he told CPS that Nicholas and Abigail were babysitting not b/c he felt they were not able to handle it, but because they should not be responsible for taking care of our 'mistakes'. !! ARG!!!
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: Nov 09 2006 at 2:29pm | IP Logged
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Lisbet wrote:
| ...he told CPS that Nicholas and Abigail were babysitting not b/c he felt they were not able to handle it, but because they should not be responsible for taking care of our 'mistakes'. !! ARG!!! |
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Oh my word!!! 
This is so sad. 
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
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Michaela
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| Posted: Nov 09 2006 at 4:00pm | IP Logged
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Only two states, Illinois & Maryland, have laws.
Most other states have guidelines...mainly based on maturity.
There's also interesting info on what an investigator would look for *if* they came into your home.
Was the child left during daylight hours vs. night, amount of time left alone. (They check your refrig if there was food, smoke detectors in the home....ect.)
It sounds like that would only be checked for accusations of neglect.
However, following the links, they know parents leave children (latchkey kids -- I was one, too.) Especially during the summer when school is out, parents still have to work but cannot afford childcare.
Home Alone
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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Martha
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| Posted: Nov 09 2006 at 10:02pm | IP Logged
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an update!
I took the littlest 2 with me to the store after all the middles were in bed.
I was back home in less than 30 mintues.
No blood spilt. No broken bones. No fire. No beer cans. No out of the blue tornado. No police lights in the drive greeted me. Not even a single tear was shed in the absence of mommy. Whew.
I'm torn between relief, pride in my boys, and a bit hurt they need me a little less. Growing up hurts. 
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Martha
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MaryM
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Very helpful and informative link, Michaela. Thanks.
Glad everything went so well, Martha!
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teachingmom
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| Posted: Nov 09 2006 at 11:46pm | IP Logged
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And I just have to add that having kids at ages 10 and 12 and being able to leave them, either alone or with some younger siblings, has been so wonderful for me. It's so freeing to be able to avoid dragging everyone out for short trips! And the girls are glad to avoid being dragged out too. 
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KellyJ
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I'm glad it worked out Martha. Our state puts age 13 as the minimum for watching children age 8 and under (I assume if you're 9+, you can stay home or in a car by yourself -- yes, the law includes leaving the children in the car for a few min. with an older child who is not yet 13). I wouldn't have looked it up had it not been for your post and seeing something on a first aid/CPR site recently mentioning 13 (I figured the Red Cross was making a nationwide generalization).
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: quick home alone ?
