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Molly Smith
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Joined: Feb 08 2005
Location: Virginia
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| Posted: March 24 2005 at 4:52am | IP Logged
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Me again!
My oldest dd9, Jeanne, is at her cousin's house for a few days and we are going crazy here! We dropped her off yesterday early a.m. and will meet up with them at Living Stations tomorrow to pick her up. We are all stressed and completely sick of each other. It was a cold, rainy miserable day yesterday and we watched way too much TV to try to fill the void. I called my dh home early (he just works above the garage  ) because I just couldn't handle it. He definitely came in and saved the day.
I know we all adore Jeanne, but this is the first time we've felt completely lost without her. I do realize that I'm on the brink of insanity, but are any of you more dependent on one child like this? Is it just me? It can't be good--what a wake up call this is for me.
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Molly Smith in VA
Mom to seven beautiful children, ages 1-14
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ourladyslilac
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| Posted: March 25 2005 at 1:16am | IP Logged
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When my oldest daughter was 9 she went away for a week to a retreat camp run by Home of the Mother nuns. No phone calls and no contact for 5 days. I cried for her every night, but I knew she was in good hands and was having fun and I made it through the week!
Now that she will be turning 13, each year it gets easier to let her go a little more. Spending nights at family friends, going out with other friends, etc. I think it is a gradual process until we are able to let them go tp lead their own lives with their own families.
Since she is my oldest, I do not have much experience, mothers with older children will have to let me know if this is right.
Does it get easier to let go the older they get?
Thanks.
Marianne
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: March 29 2005 at 8:31pm | IP Logged
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Molly,
I know what you mean about being so dependent on the oldest. I have a big gap between my two oldest. Charlie is 13 and Sydney is only 9. Then the rest are about 2 years apart.
So Charlie was my right arm for years. I relied on him heavily. Now that Sydney is getting older, she has taken over a lot of the day to day helping. But she isn't old enough to babysit yet.
Last week, I let Charlie and Sydney go to the park with some other families, while I took the younger four to the doctor (two of them were sick). It was like culture-shock! I haven't been out of the house with four kids under the age of eight in years! But I am proud to say they behaved very well and it went smoothly. 
It takes a conscious effort on my part to not rely too heavily on the older ones and to make sure I don't keep them home just for me.
Right now they are all gone and I don't know what to do with myself. Especially since I am supposed to be recuperating and not up and about. I guess that is why I am so chatty tonight! I am too sleepy from the pain meds to read anything deep or work on anything important.
It is one of those times I wish we had TV!
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Molly Smith
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Location: Virginia
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| Posted: March 30 2005 at 6:35am | IP Logged
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(I don't know how to do the fancy quote boxes, so...)Molly wrote: It takes a conscious effort on my part to not rely too heavily on the older ones and to make sure I don't keep them home just for me.
I guess that's what I'm finding out, and why this was such a wake up call for me. I didn't realize how much Jeanne does, and how she lightens my load (unintentionally, but still) by loving to play with her siblings. She was telling me yesterday that she wants to have 12 brothers (she only has 3 so far!). She's happy with just one sister, though!
And speaking of your recouperating, how did everything go with your laparoscopy? How did Kateri do with your mom? You were all in my prayers...
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Molly Smith in VA
Mom to seven beautiful children, ages 1-14
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: March 30 2005 at 9:47am | IP Logged
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Well,
Kateri is still with my mom! I am told she is doing fine and have been forbidden from going to get her. 
I am sure my mom is right, but it is really hard on me! I puttered around yesterday between naps, not knowing what to do with myself. I had to resist that urge to start "getting something done" while the kids are gone. And of course, I am spending a considerable amount of time pumping!
The pain isn't too bad, although there is intense shoulder pain that is related to the air that they pumped into my abdomen. I can also feel it under my ribs. It was so intense last night that I could not move, worse than any child-bearing pain! 
It is less this morning and hopefully my husband will get the kids this afternoon.
The surgery was a success. Dr. Anderson found adhesions right in the area of my pain, as well as a few elsewhere, and was able to cut them away, so the pain should be gone.
Thanks for your prayers. I should probably post this update on the prayer list too.
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: When one is away...
