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dinasiano
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| Posted: Jan 21 2014 at 6:21am | IP Logged
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Hi Ladies,
I come here a lot but don't seem to post too often. I think I feel like I am out of the loop and others seem to really know each other. I know this is MY perspective so here I am now asking for help 
I have 7 children ranging in age from 20 to 2. Some are homeschooled and some aren't. My 20 ds decided to drop out of college, is living at home and working as a waiter.
I am feeling totally overwhelmed by life. I would consider sending my kids to school except I already know that won't help. It's just everything....I can't get a handle on anything and I think the worst part is that I 'feel" like I don't want to .. I just want to crawl into a hole somewhere and escape.. I am not sure what to do with these feelings. Any solutions I think of take time that I do not have to spare right now. We had started a coop- type school this year and I just removed the kids from it and now we are kind of starting the year over (long story) and I feel like I have no wiggle room in the schedule.
I lack self-discipline and am afraid of taking a week or so off and then losing it because come June I will just want to end the year.
I am sorry is this is long and rambling! But if anyone has any suggestions or advice, I would greatly appreciate it.
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krygerzoo
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| Posted: Jan 21 2014 at 7:05am | IP Logged
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God bless you and LOVE you!!! 
Oh, I know how overwhelming it can be!! This is a tough gig, right?!!
Starting over is ok!! So our seasons don't match up with the institutional ones... no big yank in the scheme of life.
Take a deep breath. Invoke the Holy Spirit. You don't need to take a week off... just today. Offer the kids some light school and find a quiet place to think. Pray. Seriously ask God what He wants from you and ask Him for the grace to do it!
I am not a doctor (although I do confess to pretend to be one at home  ) but it does sound like you are exhibiting signs of depression. I would talk to your doctor and go from there. Perhaps an epsom salt bath (to increase your magnesium). Make sure you have at least one thing to look forward to each day! Take time to laugh. If there is another homeschooling family that you could at least get together with once or twice a month, even if just to hang out, that would help too. Being isolated will just make you feel more alienated.
Take care of yourself and those blessed kiddos.... it will get better. Good job in asking for help. I don't check in too often (I'm so sporadic) so feel free to PM me if you want to cyber-chat! 
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Peace, Katherine
wife to David '89, mom to +Kaden Michael (8/15/94-5/10/05), DD'97, DS'99, DD'01, DS'05, (+baby'08), DS'09, (+baby'12) & DD '13
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JennGM
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| Posted: Jan 21 2014 at 8:20am | IP Logged
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Hi Dina! Your feelings are not untypical, especially at this time of year. I agree that sending to school will not always be the fixit.
I second Katherine's advice. I would take a look at your diet and eliminate some processed foods and sugar if you are doing them to help your mood and think more clearly. That is always my first thing when I get down, have I been eating sugar and flour? And usually I have been!
Give yourself a little time to unplug and take everyone out in nature if you can. It really recharges the batteries.
Secondly, we are in the same boat. I just had open heart surgery in December, but my whole year (probably several) has been derailed because of my health issues. It is so discouraging. But today (it's a snow day and Daddy has a holiday) I will be looking at my plans again, picking up where we left off, but streamlining even more giving a big literature insert. My three goals are math, writing (esp. handwriting) and reading to get us all recharged. I do need to take us into the summer, since we had time off, but I know I will need a break, and not push all the way through. There is always next year!!!,
Big hugs . I know what you are feeling.
__________________
Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 21 2014 at 11:04am | IP Logged
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Hello Dina! You know we only know each other because we post.. so when you post we can get to know you too.
I have 10 kids ages 16 to 2. It is just a busy thing and finding time and space to just breathe can be difficult at times.
Not that I'm a doctor or anything but you're talking about some of the classic signs of depression there. Now there's actually 2 ways this works.. those signs can be actual clinical depression OR they can be signs of nutritional deficiencies. You'd be surprised how many vitamins have a deficiency symptoms depression or things that are also a symptom of depression.
The biggest of those are magnesium, vitamin D (especially this time of year) and B-complex.
It seems kinda silly that taking a vitamin or 2 will make so much difference but it can. I've needed to do that for myself at times. And I usually need someone else to remind me to take them and take care of myself. Because I think one of the first things depression symptoms do is make it hard to think of these things.
Now a measly little one a day type of vitamin probably won't cut it if your symptoms are nutrition related.. I'd get something like the prenatal Rainbow Lights (6 a day). If your youngest is only 2 then I'd definitely use the prenatal to build back up, been thinking I need to do the same  after I saw someone posting about symptoms of magnesium deficiency and it finally occurred to me that I was dealing with some of those.
BUT actual clinical depression may not respond to the nutrition boost, so while the vitamins are a fairly easy out (as long as you remember to take them  ) it may still not be enough and seeing a doctor may be the best choice you can make. The one thing I see women say when they're finally diagnosed with clinical depression and start on a med that will actually help is "why did I wait so long???".
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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dinasiano
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| Posted: Jan 21 2014 at 11:21am | IP Logged
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Thank you, Ladies!!
I am grateful for your thoughts and suggestions.
Katherine, I will definitely look into burn-out and really take some time to pray in silence today.
Jennifer and Jodie, I am glad you mentioned vitamins and nutrition because it has reminded me of a couple of things. I have gotten into the habit of NOT taking my vitamins lately, and I know I am deficient in Vitamin D from a blood test. Also, I have been avoiding gluten and high carb food for about a year until the last couple of months I know bread affects my knee and back but I didn't realize my mood would be affected too.
Thank you, I will definitely try to get my diet back on track. I actually want to post something about nutrition in another thread because I have a hard time planning healthy meals- meaning mostly non-processed foods- on a budget. I have gone way over budget in the last year trying to eat better!
Dina
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LLMom
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| Posted: Jan 21 2014 at 11:49am | IP Logged
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Dina,
Yes, check on depression. It is quite common, and needing and taking meds for it is ok. I thought I would share a few posts that might help you.
Getting a handle on homeschooling burnout
Depression and the homeschooling mom
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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
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SeaStar
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| Posted: Jan 21 2014 at 11:52am | IP Logged
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Dina-
In the recent low carb thread, Martha made an excellent point about the high cost of good food being considered part of health care. I think that is a good way to look at it. I know I feel guilty when my grocery bill starts creeping up higher and higher.
I recently read an article by a homeschool mom of 8 who said that she suffered from bouts of depression for years and had days when she thought she just couldn't keep on. She felt like a failure on all levels.
However, when she asked her older- now adult- children what they disliked about their HS experiences and family life , they really couldn't come up with anything! Their memories were happy ones.
She was very surprised.
Sometimes we feel like total flops and Fried Mommies, but in reality we are still doing just fine
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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dinasiano
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| Posted: Jan 21 2014 at 12:42pm | IP Logged
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Lisa,
Thanks for the links!
Dina
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dinasiano
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| Posted: Jan 21 2014 at 1:51pm | IP Logged
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Jenn,
I forgot to add that I am glad you are doing well after your surgery.
Love
Dina
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JennGM
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| Posted: Jan 21 2014 at 2:18pm | IP Logged
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dinasiano wrote:
Jenn,
I forgot to add that I am glad you are doing well after your surgery.
Love
Dina |
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Thank you! I can't begin to say how glad I am, too!
I have to agree with my spiritual director. This whole journey was just a miracle!
__________________
Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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dinasiano
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| Posted: Jan 21 2014 at 7:18pm | IP Logged
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SeaStar wrote:
Dina-
I recently read an article by a homeschool mom of 8 who said that she suffered from bouts of depression for years and had days when she thought she just couldn't keep on. She felt like a failure on all levels.
However, when she asked her older- now adult- children what they disliked about their HS experiences and family life , they really couldn't come up with anything! Their memories were happy ones.
She was very surprised.
Sometimes we feel like total flops and Fried Mommies, but in reality we are still doing just fine |
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Wow, that's comforting! I'm glad you shared that.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Overwhelmed
