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RyaneM
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| Posted: Oct 14 2013 at 8:14am | IP Logged
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Hi ladies,
My husband's best friend died last night. He was an older man and had been sick for some time but... 
I am running around like crazy today and was wondering if anyone had time to find and bump that thread about ideas for meals to take over to families when there are deaths, illnesses, births, etc.
Or, if you have any suggestions for easy meals to take over or things I should be doing that would be great. I tend to get a little overwhelmed in situations like these. 
Thanks!
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Ryane in NY 
Mama to ds (3/05), ds(1/09) and dd (4/10)
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MaryM
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| Posted: Oct 14 2013 at 10:09am | IP Logged
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Ryane, so sorry to hear of this loss. Praying for his family and the repose of his soul.
I am not sure if this is the thread you were remembering but it is one that has some ideas.
What are good meals to share/dropoff?
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: Oct 14 2013 at 10:13am | IP Logged
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Ryane, praying for your dh's bf, his family, and for you as you seek to bring comfort to their family during this difficult time.
Some ideas you might find helpful ~ one simple act of kindness at a time like this can lighten the family's burden and touch their hearts forever:
Between funeral arrangements, visitations & funeral, plus coordinating clothing and travel logistics for everyone, families tend to be coming and going a lot when a loved one passes away. Meal or gas gift cards can be helpful for times they're away from home. Food that will keep for a few days or that can be frozen can be helpful, since immediate family are often frequently away from home during the days of mourning. Protein bars or drinks can also be helpful.
Food is comforting during times of loss, but so are acts of quiet service. Years ago I read an article by someone who had lost a family member ~ one of the things they found most helpful was when a male friend came to their home with the simple offer to polish everyone's shoes. Your friend's family may not need that specific act of kindness, but perhaps there are errands you could run for them, such as going to the cleaners or the store for necessities. Perhaps they could use help with laundry or ironing, or getting family members outfitted with clothing for the days of visitation or funeral. Maybe their vehicle needs washing or vacuuming, or a gas fillup. With longterm illness of a loved one there may be many such tasks that were difficult for them to find time to care for even before dh's passing.
Most of all, it helps to gently suggest or offer specific ways you can help, rather than saying "I'm here if you need me" or "Be sure to ask if you need help." Many times a person may not be comfortable asking outright for help, but if a specific service or help with tasks are offered or suggested, they may feel more free to accept. It's not that help is not appreciated, it's just that their minds (and hearts) can be so overloaded it can be very difficult to process everything enough to make a specific request when an offer of help is given. If you're an organized person, and you're close enough to the family, maybe you could even help make a list of things that need to be done and/or delegate tasks to others who may be willing to help out.
When we've had deaths in the family we try to take a basket to the funeral home with individual packs of Kleenex, small bottles of tylenol and ibuprofen, lip balm, hand cream, cough drops, chewing gum, breath mints, portable shoe shine buffer sponge (these are sold in the shoe polish area, a handy sponge that can replace taking time to polish), safety pins (so handy if any family members have a broken undergarment strap or torn seam), individual snack foods or drink boxes (especially for family members who may not have time, or appetite, for meals) ~ items that might be soothing or helpful are much appreciated.
HTH just a little. It's not the magnitude of help that is remembered so much as the love and care behind those acts that are most meaningful at times of loss. Praying God will help you discern whatever would be most helpful to your friend's family. 
ETA, I'm so sorry, I completely misread your initial post, thinking it was your bf's husband. Please forgive me. I tried to rewrite my original post, to reflect that, but probably didn't do justice to the subject. Please read this entire post in that light and modify as needed for the circumstance, which may differ according to the relationship.
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Booksnbabes
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| Posted: Oct 14 2013 at 10:15am | IP Logged
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Praying for the repose of his soul, and for all those grieving his passing.
Meals that are easily reheated or frozen are good. Maybe a hamburger soup or chicken and rice...comforting food that has a lot of nutritional oomph and can be quickly reheated. Package in multiple smaller portions so a little can be made or a lot depending on need. Often casseroles are just too much food at the time depending on family size. Rolls or biscuits are nice to go with the soup.
Our hamburger soup is ground beef, diced tomatoes, frozen mixed veggies, and broth. We brown the ground beef (with onion is they like onion, my family does not so we use garlic) and just add everything to it and simmer for an hour. Add whatever spices you wish, we use turmeric, oregano, salt, pepper, garlic, and whatever else sounds good at the time. It freezes well and is good reheated as leftovers.
When my father passed away regular meals were more than we could stomach for a while, so lighter things like soups were appreciated. But that was just our experience.
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: Oct 14 2013 at 10:23am | IP Logged
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Books' idea of soup also came to my mind as well. Canning jars that can be either refrigerated or frozen are great for storing soup. Comfort foods that are light and not too filling are a good suggestion. If there will be very many children involved homemade mac 'n cheese can be a good choice, too.
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Erica Sanchez
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| Posted: Oct 14 2013 at 12:34pm | IP Logged
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Servant, your advice is wonderful. Thank you for taking the time to write it all out.
Ryane, when my grandma passed away, a friend brought cold cuts and rolls and some other simple sides, I think all from Costco, and it was nice just to be able to grab something quick and easy like Books mentions.
God bless you all during this difficult time.
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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RyaneM
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| Posted: Oct 14 2013 at 2:34pm | IP Logged
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Thank you all for the wonderful responses and for taking the time share.
This dear man, much older than my husband, was the one to bring my husband back to the Church 15 years ago. He was the maintenance man at that college where my husband is the Associate Athletic Director. Such a humble man with a very strong devotion to OL of Fatima and the Rosary. So fitting that he would die yesterday.
Anyway, thanks for all the great ideas. I feel much more prepared now.
Blessings,
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Ryane in NY
Mama to ds (3/05), ds(1/09) and dd (4/10)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Need Quick Help...
