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1st grade mom
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| Posted: May 17 2006 at 11:40am | IP Logged
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I don't know how you all feel about allowances, but I'm not that wild about the idea. Instead, I decided to offer a small amount, 5 cents per chore (for some of the chores). This has not been much of a motivation, but we are still working on it.
I do insist that dd (almost 7) clear her dishes after a meal. We are working on this becoming a habit. I don't pay her for this one. But I offered her 5 cents for making a bed or changing a toilet paper or paper towel roll.
Recently, I told her I would give her 10 cents if she did one of these chores without reminding. Yesterday it worked. This would save nagging on my part, or her not helping with the chores at all.
I also tried: If you do it without complaining, I will give you 5 cents. If you fuss, you will have to do it anyway, without getting paid (before watching a video or going out).
Still experimenting here. I think some of the paying for chores will be temporary, to help instill habit. Ultimately, I think "extra chores" should be the ones that are paid for. Many should simply be part of participating in family life.
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marihalojen
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Marianna has never received an allowance or been paid for helping at home. We really don't believe in paying a child to do what needs to be done. If an emergency comes up there is no way we're going to stand there dickering price per chore. We have let her see the consequences of not doing her chores.
For instance, one of her chores is to fill our water tanks, she didn't, we ran out of water. Time for her to do dishes, no water! So, late at night she had to fill tanks and wash dishes. A second example would be to grease the zippers and buckles on the bimini weekly. A rainstorm comes through and we try to batten down the hatches and everything is corroded! Well, things then get very wet and she has to help clean and maintain those items (Eeeww! Stinky wet cushions!) as well as her original chore. Examples that aren't in every family's life but just insert your particulars. 
For pocket change we helped her find a job she could do for others (walking dogs) which instills loads of responsibility, gets her out exercising, involves math as she keeps books and gives out bills on Friday...been doing this for years and has loads of money since she's a hoarder, not a spender!
There is a series of books, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, which plays to the 'let the consequences come' mentality in a humorous way. My fourth grade teacher, Sr. Joan, would read them aloud before lunch. I remember them being outrageous, but funny.
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The Mari Hal-O-Jen
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Elizabeth
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We use the same "non-system" Jennifer does, except we don't have a bimini  . No allowances here and chores are completed (more or less) because they are necessary to the smooth running of a family.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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1st grade mom
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| Posted: May 17 2006 at 3:21pm | IP Logged
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So perhaps homeschooling has the added advantage of less pressure to give your child an allowance.
I was raised in a large family. Allowances were spotty. Chores were many. We were expected to participate in and keep the household running. It seems harder for me to motivate my daughter to help. I don't like giving stickers, toys, treats for completing chore charts, like some friends have recommended.
I do occasionally reward her for exceptional behavior (in long church services and music rehearsals, for instance) and exceptional progress in her schoolwork, though.
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Karen E.
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We give a very small allowance, as a way for the kids to have a wee bit of spending money, and to learn about saving, purchasing, what's worth spending money on, etc.
But, the allowance is in no way tied to chores. We've always stressed that chores are just part of being a family. We do chores because God expects us to take care of our things, our home, and one another.
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Karen E.
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Angie Mc
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I'm going out on a limb here and admitting...
We pay for chores. (Please don't throw cyber tomotoes!)
For years I fought against the idea of paying for chores that children should do out of the goodness of their hearts as contributing members of a family. Then, eating a bunch of humble pie because our family relationships suffering over this subject, I got practical, using in-the-world ideas.
As a family we went through everything that needs to be done daily and made a list. We went through the list and asked this question, "If you became very skilled at this, would you be able to earn pay for it?" Back to the list...
We need to pray and build our relationship with God. No one will pay us for this.
We need to take care of ourselves through food, exercise, personal care and rest. No one will pay us for this.
We need to get along with each other. No one will pay us for this.
We need to study and learn. Most likely, unless we become a scholar, we will not get paid for this.
We need to do our chores. Yes, if we become skilled enough, people pay to have their homes cleaned, their yards cared for, their clothes cleaned, their cooking done, etc. So...
For each chore, we write a thorough description of what we expect and how it is to be done, to include supply list, estimated time to complete, and difficulty level. We train them and pay them an in-training rate. Once the skill is mastered, we pay regular rate. To be mastered, they must do the job with good attitude and self-initiative. If they don't do the job, they have to pay someone else to do it.
Some side notes. I wouldn't do this with children who are too young to understand money. Keep pay small. Keep change on hand near chore list. Have pay time plugged into day. The children are responsible to ask for their pay. No back payments after 24 hours.
To be honest, this has worked beautifully for us. I think it has a lot to do with the thorough training and agreement on what needs to be done. It also makes things more pragmatic and less personal. Our family life and relationships were suffering over chores last year. It took me a month to get everyone trained and we have been reaping benefits ever since. Sometimes we get off track, but at least we have a track to get back on! The children are doing so well now that I'm looking at impementing a "Grand Master" level. This level would look more like salary pay, based on the assumption that their work is consistently done well, done thoroughly, and done with good spirit.
Love,
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Jen L.
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I have thought a lot about this, but haven't decided anything. 
I like the idea of some kind of income for my school-age kids so they can learn to manage money. I also like the idea of "this is our home, we all all help to take care of it" without paying. I think that maybe a middle ground (like Angie uses) where some things are paid for and some aren't might work for me. Then I want them to put the money in "envelopes" for giving, long term savings, and shorter term saving/spending.
I do like the idea of the olders thinking of ways to earn money in the neighborhood, but I also like when my daughter walks the neighbor's dog for fun.
Thanks for putting up with my confused (and confusing) ramblings..
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Karen E.
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| Posted: May 17 2006 at 8:21pm | IP Logged
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Angie Mc wrote:
I'm going out on a limb here and admitting...
We pay for chores. (Please don't throw cyber tomotoes!)
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What kind of neanderthal would be capable of throwing tomatoes at you, Angie?!  I think your plan sounds wonderful, and it comes back to what this board is all about: tailoring things to what works best for your family.
Love,
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Karen E.
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Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
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ALmom
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We don't pay for chores but my sis implemented a system of chores that belonged to each dc. These had to be done well without reminding (this takes time and training) and with good spirit. There was another list of chores that my sis felt were rightfully her duty to perform. However, if a dc wanted to do it on a regular basis these were paid jobs. These could not be accepted unless regular chores were being regularly completed and done well. She trained her dc in exactly how she wanted them done and they had to do them to her satisfaction before being paid. Her reasoning was that these were the kinds of things that they had paid for in the past - and not been happy with the work. Why not train her own and pay them.
Now, it is understood that these jobs are not paying jobs if mom is in a bind and has to ask for help. These are only paying jobs when they are taken on a regular basis. If they are not taken, she will ask for someone to help her as she needs it. It has worked very well for them!
Janet
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mary
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we give an allowance weekly and it's tied to their room being cleaned up. if i have to clean their room, i consider the weekly allowance to be my 'maid's fee.' i like the idea of them having their own spending money. on tuesday i took them to the nature center and they wanted to buy puppets. when the oldest realized he had to pay me back, he quickly decided that he really didn't want the item he had picked out. i think those are valuable lessons that can't be learned unless the children have some discretionary monies.
we don't tie money to chores because cleaning up is something we all do to keep our house running smoothly. when our house is in good order, we can then do something fun like watch a show, go outside and swing, ride bikes, whatever. if i have big odd jobs, i may offer to pay the kids to do them - but in general i'm not organized enough to be keeping track of who has done what job and how much they are worth, although angie's plan sounds really neat (love the grand master idea!).
i totally agree that we all have to decide what works best for our families.
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Kathryn UK
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My dds have allowances not tied to chores. My 7yo gets a small amount of weekly pocket money. When my elder dd turned 11 we opened a bank account for her and changed from weekly pocket money to a monthly allowance with responsibility for buying certain items herself. She now buys all her own clothes (excepting a couple of pairs of good quality shoes a year, which would be way beyond her budget), is responsible for her cell phone, and has a little extra for pocket money. We want her to have practice at budgeting and managing her own money. We give her what we estimate we would otherwise be spending on her.
We consider routine chores to be part of family life so don't pay for them. Occasionally we will pay for a specific job. We paid our 11yo to mow the grass when dh was recovering from surgery and neither of us were able to manage it, as the first cut of the year is a horrible job and we felt it deserved some reward. We do occasionally fine the girls for particular misdemeanours (with prior warning)
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marihalojen
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There is an interesting book, The First National Bank of Dad, that I need to reread. Talks about how parents can teach their children about the financial side of life in a non-overwhelming way. Why they need discretionary funds, savings, etc...not tied to chores but as a lesson in and of itself. He even set up a Dad Stock Exchange as the kids got older that could be very cool as an economics lesson, I really need to reserve the book at the library again.
Anybody else read it? Did it influence your decisions regarding allowances? Any other books you liked better?
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The Mari Hal-O-Jen
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teachingmom
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Karen E. wrote:
We give a very small allowance, as a way for the kids to have a wee bit of spending money, and to learn about saving, purchasing, what's worth spending money on, etc.
But, the allowance is in no way tied to chores. We've always stressed that chores are just part of being a family. We do chores because God expects us to take care of our things, our home, and one another. |
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We do what Karen does. The allowance is ten cents per year of age each week. So my 6 year old gets 60 cents each week, etc. The girls willingly do their normal chores without special compensation, and are almost always cheerful about helping with extra tasks when asked.
But, we also periodically pay extra for special jobs that aren't normally expected of them. For example, I pay $1 for going over the kitchen floor with a Mr. Magic Eraser and then mopping. I feel like I am getting a deal, and they are learning responsibility and industriousness and given the opportunity to earn a little extra spending money.
If we are at a store and they want something, they must buy it themselves (with my approval). It's a little harder on my younger ones, who don't have many ways of earning extra money. This is especially true since my 11yo landed a great mother's helper job, which pays $6 per hour. But the great thing about her job is that she can now feed her love of clothes in a way that our budget would never support. When we are at Target, she can get that cute top that's on clearance if she really wants it.
It's also beautiful to see the girls be generous in using their own money for gifts. They pooled their money to buy me a Mother's Day gift that is just from them this year. And they very willingly buy each other small Christmas and birthday presents with their own money once they are old enough to have a bit of money saved.
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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Kathryn UK
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| Posted: May 19 2006 at 5:33am | IP Logged
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teachingmom wrote:
| We do what Karen does. The allowance is ten cents per year of age each week. So my 6 year old gets 60 cents each week, etc. |
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Snap! We give 10 pence a week per year of age. Our 7yo gets 70 pence and our 11yo £1.10, which we round to £5 monthly now she has a monthly allowance - can spend that "pocket money" part on anything she likes.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: allowances and chores
