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myheaven1967
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| Posted: June 04 2013 at 7:08am | IP Logged
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I have a neighbor boy, he lives RIGHT next door. He is 7 the same age as one of my sons. He likes our kids a lot, and wants to play with them all summer long. The problem is, he is not so good for my kids. He teaches them things I would rather them not doing. He teases our dogs terrible, the yard is fenced in and he calls them and runs all over along the fence taunting them. I have spoken to his mother, and I have stood right there as she has told him this is teasing. I don't think he is stupid, in fact I think he is most likely quite smart, but is trying his boundaries.
Last night he asked to come over and play and I told him no. When he asked why, I told him I was tired of him teasing my dogs.
I know he is one of God's children, we all are. So how do I treat him with respect, but still set a boundary? We do not want him here, because he acts like that. But the kids want him here.
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anitamarie
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| Posted: June 04 2013 at 7:16am | IP Logged
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You did the right thing. If you respectfully let him know that he cannot come over as long as he is teasing the dog, then it's his choice to continue his behavior. You have the right, in your home, to set the rules. If he won't honor them, then he can't be in your home. If he wants to play with your kids, he will honor your rules. At 7, it won't take long for most children to figure out how they have to behave. In fact, my neighbor was just telling me that her grandchild, after having switched to a small Christian school from a larger school, is a different kid. He has learned to be polite and patient and a lot less selfish, because those are the rules at school.
Also, when you do have boundaries and enforce them, you are modeling that for your dc. They will learn how to set and enforce healthy boundaries.
Good luck.
Anita
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myheaven1967
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| Posted: June 04 2013 at 7:33am | IP Logged
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Wow, thank you!
He has been our neighbor since he was about 1.5 years old. I tried to babysit him in the beginning but my son that is 6 months younger than him had issues and I couldn't deal with the two of them. My son would hold his breath until he passed out, turning blue then gray.... It was not fun.
I have struggled with this child for all this time and just don't want to deal with him anymore when he is like this.
It isn't good for my boys, or my family and certainly not good for the stress level he brings with him.
I will also pray pray and pray some more for this boy.
Thank you for your support!
Jill
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mommy4ever
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| Posted: June 04 2013 at 8:49am | IP Logged
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It's hard when it's right next door. We have children like that, and had others too. They are little right now, so you can try to direct them, sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't.
I am the 'mean' mom in the neighborhood, yet all the real friends my kids have LOVE coming here, especially the teens. Why? because the KNOW what is expected. By saying no, you're doing the right thing. You've told him why he isn't permitted to come over.
Are your dogs in a run? If so, is it possible to relocate it? It's not good for the dogs to be antagonized. We had to relocate our dogs beside our garage with a space away from the fence because of neighbors. Not ideal, but i don't have them whining and barking all the time.
Just keep an eye on the child, especially as they get a bit older, it can turn into something else, so be aware.
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Mom to 4,
1 graduated June 2012
1 in Catholic school
2 homeschooled(one considering art school!)
ardently praying for a new addition to our family.
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myheaven1967
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| Posted: June 04 2013 at 9:22am | IP Logged
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No, my dogs are not on a run, they have the whole yard. Our dogs are wonderful with people that are kind. We recently found out, via a neighbor letting us know, a little girl, not the same child, was wandering by our yard, (we have a corner lot which I do not like) and throwing rocks over the fence! Husband went and talked to her mother. But came back and told me the child looked like she suffers fetal alcohol syndrome and won't get what is going on. Why a child like this that is mentally unstable is wandering around the neighborhood is scary enough.
I call our dogs in typically when the neighbor boy is out. But I don't like our dogs in when we eat. That is a big issue. One is still a puppy and has not figured out you don't steal food from the toddler......
But I guess I will have to be more on top of things than I already am..
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herdingkittens
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| Posted: June 05 2013 at 2:22pm | IP Logged
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Privacy fence? 
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my peeps: girl('02), boy('03), girl('05), twin boys ('07), boy ('11) and sweet baby boy ('13)
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myheaven1967
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| Posted: June 05 2013 at 2:24pm | IP Logged
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My whole yard is already fenced. He pokes through the cracks, shoves his hands and other "stuff" under it....
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Jill: Wife to Kurt, mother to 1 dd and 4 ds
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herdingkittens
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| Posted: June 05 2013 at 2:58pm | IP Logged
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ugh. 
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my peeps: girl('02), boy('03), girl('05), twin boys ('07), boy ('11) and sweet baby boy ('13)
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myheaven1967
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| Posted: June 05 2013 at 3:17pm | IP Logged
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Yea... That is what I say too. 
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Jill: Wife to Kurt, mother to 1 dd and 4 ds
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Martha
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| Posted: June 05 2013 at 3:50pm | IP Logged
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I'm so mean. Not only do I think there is nothing wrong with what you are doing, I'd totally yell at the child to get away from my dogs and quit putting anything through/under/over my fence. After numerous discussions, the parents know better and so does he, so I'd not feel a need to be so polite about it anymore.
Ugh. Difficult neighbors are .. Difficult. 
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Martha
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Yes, they're all ours!
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myheaven1967
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| Posted: June 05 2013 at 4:12pm | IP Logged
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He has NOT spoken to us since that day! The Grandma, (he lives with mom, Grandpa, Grandma, and uncle is visiting I guess for the summer. No daddy in the picture) looks to be upset with me. So be it.
This is one of the many wonderful reasons I don't want the village raising my children.
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Jill: Wife to Kurt, mother to 1 dd and 4 ds
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: kids not so good for yours
