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Barb.b Forum All-Star
Joined: June 22 2007
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Posted: Jan 03 2013 at 4:03pm | IP Logged
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If anyone remembers - I was worried about how to get drive time with my teen dd as I am a single mom with a 9 yr old. Well, that is a challenge but not my biggest problem. Even with my oldest home from college to babysit - I find myself much too anxious to take her driving. It is fine in a parking lot, but we are past that stage and really need to go on streets! I really can't do it!!! So she is stuck. Honestly - I get VERY anxious!! Any one else gone through this? The driving school she goes to does the class portion and what texas requires for direct behind the wheel instruction - but no the 20 extra hours she needs to log in beyond that! I know no other adult that I could have her log in hours with. I just had to apologize to her - told her I thought we could go today but I am no good at this and already getting anxious! What to do?????
Barb
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JodieLyn Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006 Location: Oregon
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Posted: Jan 03 2013 at 4:27pm | IP Logged
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You might try the Bach's Rescue Remedy.. it really helps with anxiety. Also be sure you keep up your B vitamins.. also there's the homeopathic from Hyland's "Calms" that can help anxiety.. but the Rescue Remedy is something you can take at the time teh anxiety starts.
__________________ Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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pmeilaen Forum All-Star
Joined: Sept 07 2008 Location: New York
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Posted: Jan 03 2013 at 4:31pm | IP Logged
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Would it help to wait another year? I'm not planning to let my children drive until they are almost 18. Or is there a neighbor/relative who could help?
__________________ Eva
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cathhomeschool Board Moderator
Texas Bluebonnets
Joined: Jan 26 2005 Location: Texas
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Posted: Jan 03 2013 at 5:40pm | IP Logged
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Speaking as a mom in Texas that has very recently had 2 get their licenses, they really do need lots and lots of practice. Can you drive to an area that is "safer" and then let your daughter practice? If she's done the driving portion with the school then she has some experience on streets. Go to quieter neighbohoods, practice early Saturday and Sunday when there are fewer people out. Once you two have some experience together you may feel more comfortable driving around your neighborhood.
__________________ Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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Servant2theKing Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 13 2005
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Posted: Jan 03 2013 at 5:58pm | IP Logged
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Barb, I completely empathize with your anxiety. Perhaps it would be helpful to pray with your dd before setting out on practice drives. The remedies Jodie suggested very helpful for anxiety. Janette's idea of driving in quiet areas, during less busy times is excellent. We live in a rural area and I noticed my anxiety decreased when practice driving on rural roads, rather than city streets. Praying for you and your dd.
These prayers and the quote from Tobit might be helpful:
O almighty and merciful God, Who hast commissioned Thy angels to guide and protect us, command them to be our assiduous companions from our setting out until our return; to clothe us with their invisible protection; to keep us from all danger of collision, of fire, of explosion, of falls and bruises; and finally, having preserved us from all evil, and especially from sin, to guide us to our heavenly home. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
My holy angel guardian, ask the Lord to bless the journey which I undertake, that it may profit the health of my soul and body; that I may reach its end; and that, returning safe and sound, I may find all at home in good health. Do thou guard, guide, and preserve us. Amen.
An inspiring quote from the Old Testament book of Tobit, in which Tobit sends his son off on an important errand, assisted by the Archangel Raphael: “May you have a good journey, and God be with you in your way, and his angel accompany you.” (Tobit 5:22)
__________________ All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
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Barb.b Forum All-Star
Joined: June 22 2007
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Posted: Jan 03 2013 at 6:37pm | IP Logged
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Thank you ladies!
I will look up the anxiety remedies. And yes, I told her - no big thing about getting a license at 16 and it will probably be later.But I don't think waiting till later will really help! It seems one needs the right personality to sit in the car with a new, inexperienced driver. I just am not a good fit to be the one in the car! I have to sit on my hands so I don't grab for the door handle! It makes no sense because in the parking lot we drive in on Sundays she is a good driver! I just can't seem to get out on the roads. We live in a very suburban part of the DFW area and I don't know where to drive! If theres not kids there are lots of parked cars on the streets. I just really wish I had a relative or close friend near who could practice driving with her.
Oh well, Like alot of things in life - this may be one to place before the Lord and wait for him to answer!
Barb
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pumpkinmom Forum All-Star
Joined: March 28 2012 Location: Missouri
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Posted: Jan 03 2013 at 7:29pm | IP Logged
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Maybe ask the driving school if they have any advice or if someone would go with you the first time. I'm sure I will feel the same way too! I was so nervous driving when I was 16! I was able to stay came and relax during driving, but I made a driving plan and only drove in easy situations during non busy times of the day. This meant I had to drive to school very early and stay after to avoid traffic. I also drove an extra mile or two to stay on easy streets. This could be things to do while your dd is practicing to help with your anixety. If you lived in my area I would say 9:30-10 am on a work/school day would be the best time to be out with the least amount of traffic. A prayer before driving (and during in your case) is the biggest help and should provide comfort!
__________________ Cassie
Homeschooling my little patch of Ds-14 and Ds-10
Tending the Pumpkin Patch
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guitarnan Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Jan 03 2013 at 8:33pm | IP Logged
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Early Sunday morning (before Mass) is a quiet time in our area.
I totally empathize - my husband taught our son, but it is starting to look as though I will helping when Dancing Daughter gets her permit.
You might need to explore other parts of town to find wide streets. The street I grew up on is twice as wide as any other 2-lane street in the area, so I did a lot of practice driving there. Maybe there's a place near you that also has wider streets.
Sending prayers for your peace of mind...
__________________ Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Barb.b Forum All-Star
Joined: June 22 2007
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Posted: Jan 04 2013 at 11:19am | IP Logged
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Yea! I heard from the owner of her driving school - he is thinking of a plan to have their instructors drive with her for some of the "parent logged" drive time! Really, I think I just need them to do maybe 3-5 hours of the parent practice times. They already will do the required 7 times (each 2 hours long, 1 hour of driving and 1 of "observation"). So they really just need to let me sign up for extra practice and then let me use that on my parent log sheet as part of my additional 20 hours we need beyond the instruction/observation! It is a reminder to me - instead of fret - pray and then communication! I emailed the school and when I got a canned response I then asked the secretary who responded to forward my request to the owner of the school and VIOLA - he responded that he will help me get her some extra hours till I am comfortable taking over!
Thank you Jesus!
Barb
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Barb.b Forum All-Star
Joined: June 22 2007
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Posted: Jan 16 2013 at 4:47pm | IP Logged
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Oh - I warn ahead of a pity party vent:
I haven't heard from the driving school. . . they say on their web site you can sign up your kid for extra practice with the instructors that can count as parent logged hours. THe secretary gives me a canned, run around answer. The owner says - sure we will work something out and I will get back to you with options . I haven't heard anything. I just email again asking if that means we can't work anything out? I told him I haven't even signed her up for one of the behind the wheel instruction times with the school because she and I haven't even gotten out of the parking lot stage in our parent logged practice times (of which we need 20 total hours - we have 3 in a parking lot). I am not an anxious person by nature - but this driving with a teen on a road - I just can't do. I am not being funny - this is real! Really I fear she will be one of these people who will never have a license.
What I don't get is why isn't there any option for more practice at any driving schools around here. They know by law we need 20 hours of practice IN ADDITION TO their behind the wheel instructions. So, number 1: am I the only single parent at these schools and 2. am I the only parent who just can't do it?
Barb
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Martha Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 25 2005 Location: N/A
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Posted: Jan 17 2013 at 9:44am | IP Logged
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Same boat here. I'm having a very hard time getting driving time in for my two oldest and dh refuses to help, which is an additional source of angst here. I have done the parking lot thing with them, but they need open road time.
I've told dh he needs to just accept that they will wreck. Just about everyone does within the first 2 years. Usually a fender bender type thing typical of any aged inexperienced driver.
Dh says I'm no help at all. LOL
Our issue is we have this huge van and many grown adults don't like to drive these things. So I'm extra paranoid about the boys driving it loaded up with all my babies!
So no help, but
__________________ Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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Barb.b Forum All-Star
Joined: June 22 2007
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Posted: Jan 17 2013 at 10:17am | IP Logged
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Martha! Its a pain right! Well, One thing I've been telling myself is that THEY DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THEIR LICENSE AT 16! If it takes longer and they get it at 17 - they will survive! That said - I'm just laying this problem at God's feet.
Barb
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