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Alcat
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| Posted: May 03 2006 at 2:47pm | IP Logged
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Hi ladies!
I am on cloud nine today because I got to see my little 12wk old in the womb baby  . It was soooo wonderful to get to see this beautiful gift from God moving all around 
I also had some other wonderful news... there MIGHT be a midwife who could come and do a homebirth for us  Wow, this has always been a dream for me-
My Dr is very open to midwifes and homebirths. He is very good (non invasive, allows me to labor naturally, I can nurse right away), but he can't WORK with you the way a midwife can or deliver like one
The thought of a homebirth scares the daylights out of dh but he is open if I do my research... so ladies give me your input, your stories of homebirths good and bad.
God Bless,
Alison
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mom to ds15, dd13 ,ds11, dd8, dd6, ds4, & dd18mos
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momwise
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| Posted: May 03 2006 at 3:43pm | IP Logged
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Congratulations Alison!!
Try this thread. I love home birth, especially in the water.
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Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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Sarah
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| Posted: May 03 2006 at 3:48pm | IP Logged
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My first three were born at home and they were births I hold very dear to me. It was my idea and dh, in med school and residency at the time agreed with it, although the more educated he became in his field, the more scared he got.
Baby #1's size was a surprise to us all. He weighed 10lbs 9oz. and was 23in long! My labor came on fast and hard, after four hours of serious contractions every 60 sec. I was complete and after 2 and 1/4 hours of pushing he was born. If I had known his size I NEVER would have had the confidence to do it. AND if I had been in a hospital, he would have been a c-section.
Baby #2 was a peaceful and wonderful delivery. He was smaller  at 9lbs 14oz.
Baby #3 was a little unpredictable when labor stalled for an hour. He was even smaller at 8lbs 10 oz.
I LOVED snuggling in my own bed with my family around me with my own food and stuff. I was peaceful and in control.
By the time dh becamer a practicing doc. and we moved into a very home birth hostile state, dh asked me to try a midwife birth in the local hospital with OB back-up. This was a pain in my heart I couldn't describe. Filled with doubts, anger, and fear, I reluctanly complied. Boy, did God have a plan for me!
By 40 weeks everything was in place. My sister was here, I had a nice hospital midwife, and my bag was packed. Then my due date came and went. Four days passed. I had contractions on and off, but I never progressed past 4 cm. I was never in that fast and furious hard labor that I'd had with the others.
Finally at midnight on the fourth night past my due date, while sleeping, my water broke with such violence I sat up quickly and ran to the bathroom. I was bleeding some. Dh told me we needed to go fast, but he didn't say more. He drove with his hazards on, but wasn't saying anything alarming to me. I wasn't bleeding during the drive. By the time I got in the wheelchair inside the front door, I began a hemorrage so awful that it was a trail through the hospital. Dh was hoping I would be complete when I got to the delivery room. I was checked--still 4 cm and the hemorrage increased- I can still hear what sounded like someone dumping a punch bowl on the floor. That's when I realized I was in serious shape. Minutes later I was out completely with general anethesia. I would miss the birth of my first girl. I later learned that because she was 10lbs 7 oz, my water broke too violently causing my placenta to shear off (abrupt).
I also learned that she had 10 minutes left before she would have been dead, which is very common in an abruption.
Had I planned a home birth with her, the outcome may not have been the same.
Now with #5, after going through a crash c-section and the whole hospital-a-thon, I was grateful with a simple hospital induction, epidural, and V-BAC was great! I tried for hours without the epidural and let me tell you--that's a different labor than natural(without pitocin)!! 
God taught me to let go through my hemorrage experience and not try to control everything. He also taught me that hospitals have their place. DD2 and I would be dead without them. I learned that sometimes you have to have a different birth than you want.
In the end, I would tell ladies that a home birth IS a WONDERFUL experience, but I would follow the criteria of being within 10 minutes of a hospital, making sure you have a doctor who knows of your HB and is willing to deliver your child if a problem should arise, and make sure you are a good, healthy candidate, which in my opinion means no previous c-section, since the placenta can adhere to the scar tissue and not release properly after delivery, causing a hemorrage. Also, make sure your midwife has done a lot of home births. Do you homework on her, making sure she is a good candidate. Your husband should be in complete agreement, because I think God works through husbands to lead us to do what is right.
I'm not trying to scare you with my story. I just never knew that an abruption was a possiblity for me. Would I have listened if someone would have warned me? Probably not. Would I have gone for an induction? Nope. If I had been induced with her, would that hemorraged have happened? No. However, no one offered one either.
My last delivery was lovely, healthy, and in a hospital. Next time will be the same and I'm okay with that.
Incidently, this last baby at 3 1/2 weeks early was 9lbs even. So big! 
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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MaryM
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Alison,
I've had both. First two were in hosptial and last two at home. There is no comparison - hands down the home birth option was incredible for us. I had natural births in the hospital but was tired of having to "fight" for birthing the way I wanted to. Took energy we didn't need to expend. The thing that strikes me most about homebirth is the control that you have over the situation and the comfort of being in your own environment.
My husband likes to tell the story about our first homebirth and what really convinced him there was no other way. Previous birth had been really fast - we barely made it to hospital so it was so rushed and hectic. Anyway, with the 1st homesbirth it was pretty quick also (regular, strong contractions around 3 AM, midwives came at 4AM , baby born at 6 AM). But it was calm and quiet in the house, very relaxed. Friends were there to take care of other children. Right after the birth one friend made us all breakfast, did the laundry. Nice relaxing bath with baby right after birth. Within two hours after the birth everyone was gone and it was just our own family peacefully getting to know each other together - everyone snuggled up in bed for a nap. I have a great picture of that which brings back all the memories. Second homebirth much longer labor - on and off all day but the midwives were really relaxed and non-invasive - just gave us time. Since it was longer it was nice to been in my own envirnment - I felt more comforatble with my mom there making meals, everyone checking in and out. I needed my still nursing daughter to help kick in the contractions at the end and she was right there available to do that.
I have many, many friends and acquaintances who have had homebirths (including twins and breech). Only a couple situations in all those births where there was a need to transfer to a near-by hospital and all those outcomes were great. Personally know only one negative outcome in a homebirth and it would have been the same regardless of where the birth had occured. Homebirth isn't for everyone - as I know some people just feel safer in the hospital setting. Personally I feel safer in the home setting. Mothers should birth where they feel safest.
Anyone who is considering homebirth will be screened by the midwife for risk factors and in the absence of risk factors, the research on homebirth shows clearly that it is as safe or safer than in the hospital. I can help you with finding those studies if that is something that would help dh.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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Dawnie
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Alison,
I've had 1 hospital birth, and 2 homebirths. I am currently pregnant with #4 and really HOPING for another homebirth. Right now, the only thing keeping me from planning a homebirth is finances. DH's new health insurance covers maternity care 100% (in the hospital, of course ), but we would have to pay a midwife completely out of our own pockets. If we can come up with the money, it is worth it, to me, to pay over $1000 more for a homebirth.
Anyway, our first baby was born in the hospital. Normal vaginal birth with an epidural. Everything was fine, but I had wanted a natural birth, and I just hadn't been really prepared by the hospital labor class we took! With our second baby, we took a Bradley Childbirth class (which I very highly reccommend to anyone who wants a natural birth), and I felt much better prepared to handle labor naturally. Although we had planned a hospital birth, this baby was born at home by surprise! I kept thinking, "It's not time to go to the hospital yet, because it's not as hard as it was last time." Then, all of a sudden, I had to push, and 8 minutes later our sweet little DD #2 was born. It was a great experience. With our 3rd baby, we planned a homebirth since the previous birth had gone so well and we had enjoyed it so much! Everything went very smoothly, and DD #3 was born after only 2 1/2 hours of labor. Again, another wonderful experience. I felt that I got better prenatal care with my planned homebirth. My midwife always spent 30 minutes to an hour with me at my prenatal visits. She counseled me on my diet and reccommended homeopathic remedies when I was sick. She was almost always available by phone to answer any question or talk about any concern I had, and I was much more comfortable asking her questions than I had been with a doctor. I did arrange for an obstetrician to provide back-up care, and the nearest hospital was only a 10-15 minute drive away.
My own DH was not keen on the idea of homebirth at first, either, but after our surprise homebirth, he felt much more comfortable with the whole thing. I have found that in other issues, if I have presented information to DH and he is still resistant, then I leave the matter in the Lord's hands, asking Him to change DH's mind if what I want is His will.
Good luck and prayers for a safe and joyous birth!
Dawn
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Mom to Mary Beth (99), Anna (02), Lucia (04), Clara (06), and Adelaide Victoria (2/28/09)
Visit my blog!Water Into Wine:Vino Per Tutto!
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ALmom
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I've had 1 birth center birth (3 hour drive from home) and 5 homebirths. We started planning hospital birth with our first (our state is very anti-midwife (none can even practice except as an aid to doctor in prenatal care, no deliveries and certainly anti-homebirth) and found so many things that were "required" and non-negotiable and dangerous to our baby. I remember calling my dh long - distance and boo - hooing for hours (we had just been informed that the baby would have to spend 24 hours in isolation)while he was on business where he had to stand outside in a phone booth to talk as the rooms had no phones. He told me to find out about alternatives. I called all the VBAC ladies I knew and found out about a birth center in the next state 3 hours away. Husband told us to check it out and we both went and spoke with the midwives. We were sold and had a very positive birth experience. However, we thought about driving in labor like we did and it seemed ridiculous that homebirths and birth centers could be "medically safe" in one state and "dangerous" in another. They are covered by insurance in the neighboring state while we paid out of pocket for all our homebirths. We decided that we would research homebirths and dig a bit for info before the next so we'd have time to prepare properly for homebirth.
The rest of our dc were at home with lay entry midwives trained in other states that do some certification and quality control (for lack of a better word). We certainly had pages of written questions before chosing our midwife - and they were not the least offended by questioning them on how many babies they had to transport, any deaths or complications, etc., etc. I found physicians totally unwilling to discuss %of C-sections and what reasons, etc. I was told by one physician that "I didn't care about my baby" because I was asking these questions. I also found the prenatal care so different - physicians just looked at weight and one week were telling me to watch what I ate and the next week to eat whatever I wanted. I kept a daily diet sheet for the midwife that included what I ate in each food group and whether it was whole grain or white bread, etc. She would remind me to get sufficient protein and leafy greens (leafy greens were always my weakness and boy did my nutrition improve after working with midwives!) They spent 2 hours per appointment with me and listened to every little complaint - sometimes putting 2 and 2 together and detecting first signs of minor problems that could be easily addressed. Whereas, someone close to me at the hospital was told to walk and walk and walk because the doc wouldn't listen to her - she was just a hysterical woman with a bunch of kids and couldn't deal with a little bit of sciatica. It turns out she had serious abdominal blood clots. To this day she says that she survived despite the hospitals best attempts to kill her thanks to God and her quardian angel. The only reason they even did a vein study was because she refused to leave the emergency room until it was done - and she had her own OB that ignored her too.
At the time we homebirthed, we thought the legal status was such that the lay midwife had won a court case so precedence was in favor of the homebirth. Our births were all wonderful without incident (we did have some shoulder sticking with first homebirth but it was handled without incident - a friend's mom who worked in labor and delivery (whose dd also homebirthed) would get info about how the midwives handled things like this because our hospital was losing babies to this and she wanted to prevent these deaths. Anyways our babies ranged in size from 6' 12 oz to 10 lb 11oz. As it turned out, the case we thought had been won that protected our midwives had been challenged quietly and lost. Now, I know I cannot homebirth anymore  as I cannot jeapordize these wonderful women.(They can go to jail over this, not just be harrassed). One has opened up a birth center just across the border (with physician back-up and hospital priviledges) and this is probably where we'll go next time if we are so blessed.
Because there are no physicians here that will back up a homebirth, I did a few things to make sure we had ourselves covered. I found out well ahead of time who all the on - call OBs are at the hospital(calling anonymously). I liked all of them but one group and always called within a few days of due date to ask about on - call doctors over the next several weeks. I always had someone on call that I liked. I also made sure we had $50 cash so that I knew we could not be turned away from the emergency room (just in case insurance wanted to give us heck)and car full of gas just in case. We had a pediatrician that was fine with our plans and would see our baby. We were fairly close to the hospital if it was needed. I followed all my midwives requirements for health and nutrition and did all pre-natal visits with the midwife. We were required to fill out a back-up/emergency plan with our midwife including phone numbers so that the hospital could be ready for us if we had to transport.
My labors do not follow the standard hospital pattern and I would probably have had a C-section around here with my first as I was in labor without dilation for a very long time - over 24 hours. Also the baby was breech (we had an external version done before labor with the back up doctor to the birth center). My best experiences were my homebirths - and in our state these were the safest for us.
I would second the mom who said make sure you are both in agreement, listen to your dh (this is often God's way of protecting you from the unpredictable). In my case my dh was so absolutely decisive about this after interviewing - in both the birth center and homebirths that I knew it wasn't just a selfish what I want - but a logical, well thought out decision based on what was best for our baby in our particular circumstances. There are a few situations - very rare but still there - where being in a hospital is best. Most complications are preventable through good nutrition and prenatal care or easily handled by prudent transport but not all. We had to sign something indicating our understanding of this and our willingness to transport immediately if it was in the best interest of mom and/or the baby. Our friend went with one hospital birth in the middle of her home births because her dh indicated that this is what they would have to do for financial reasons. The mom cheerfully complied and made the best of it. She went into pre-term labor and was hospitalized for a while and the baby was born somewhat early. While she certainly knew she would have gone to the hospital at the first sign of pre-term labor, it was a much more endurable experience due to the familiarity and trust developed with the doctor (in our area there are no back-ups just the emergency room on call OB). She was glad she had listened.
I had to be well aware that if something happened, everyone would question us and think we had acted irresponsibly. I might even have been treated unkindly by emergency room staff in the midst of a crisis. We would have to be strong together and could not afford the temptation of blaming each other if something did go wrong(something that might be a real temptation if both were not 100% behind the decision to homebirth).
Neither of us has ever regretted our homebirths and we will be sad not to be able to do it again. It was such a wonderful experience. I am envious of your environment for homebirths. Maybe we'll move before I have another. Any jobs in acoustics there?
Janet
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Alcat
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| Posted: May 04 2006 at 6:52am | IP Logged
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Ladies, thank you for your sharing your experiences. I agree, I would never go for the homebirth unless dh was in agreement. I am going to continue to explore this option.
I have worked with a midwife when I gave birth to my first. It was so good to have that experience so I could also have all my others naturally even though my wonderful OB never knows how to catch my babes if I'm in other than "normal" positions
My deepest concern is that with each baby I have delivered at the hospital my anxiety has increased. My last labor was the longest (long story; my baby was undercooked everybody was saying "you'll go early" so I worked myself into it; and because baby was so small for me I didn't progress as quickly...) I feel like I might not be able to deliver naturally this next time around if I am too stressed. I also HATE being stuck in the hospital when I should be at home rejoicing with my family- not to mention me and baby being stuck and proded.
We will see... I have to find out how much the midwife charges and how much our insurance might pay for and how much we can afford out of pocket.
What questions do you ask your midwifes about their hombirths?
God Bless,
Alison
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mom to ds15, dd13 ,ds11, dd8, dd6, ds4, & dd18mos
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momwise
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| Posted: May 04 2006 at 8:19am | IP Logged
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Alcat wrote:
| We will see... I have to find out how much the midwife charges and how much our insurance might pay for and how much we can afford out of pocket |
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One thought on this: For our first homebirth I wrote to the insurance company (after they initially denied full coverage) comparing the costs of home delivery with OB and hospital costs and commenting that there were no lay entry midwives in network and I asked to be covered as if it was in network. I said a novena to St. Anne and they agreed to cover it. I had them send the agreement in writing. Unfortunately it didn't work for the 2nd and 3rd home births; we had to pay out-of-network costs of about $1500 each time. We worked out monthly payments during the pregnancy and a couple of payments after delivery and a good portion of our tax refunds.
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Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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Dawnie
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Here are questions we asked our midwife:
How many births have you attended?
What type of training do you have? (Is she a lay midwife, nurse-midwife, certified midwfie?)
Have you ever handled an emergency situation, such as shoulder dystocia, hermorrage, and newborn resucitation?
Do you know how to suture?
Do you have obstetrician back-up?
How often do you break the bag of waters?
What do you do when a mother is overdue? Is there a point at which you would no longer provide care because of a mother being overdue?
How often do you augment labor? I would ask about any method of augmenting labor, including drugs, herbs, homeopathics, and physical means (such as walking up and down stairs).
How often do you transport to the hospital and for what reasons do you reccommend transporting?
What is your philosophy regarding newborn care? (frequent nursing on cue or scheduling?)
What is your philosophy regarding family, children, and friends attending the birth?
What kind of labor support do you provide once a mother is in active labor? (Does the midwife stand back and provide suggestions when asked for, letting the husband do most of the support, or does she take a more active role?)
What kind of prenatal care do you provide? What about postpartum care?
The above questions reflect things that are important to me. I'm sure after four babies, you know what is important to you, too. You can probably think of questions to add to this list that reflect your own preferences.
Dawn
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Mom to Mary Beth (99), Anna (02), Lucia (04), Clara (06), and Adelaide Victoria (2/28/09)
Visit my blog!Water Into Wine:Vino Per Tutto!
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Alcat
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| Posted: May 22 2006 at 8:16am | IP Logged
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Hi there,
Thanks for the questions to ask Dawn. I've worked up a good list from yours.
I had spoken with a lay midwife who I really wanted to work with, but she has a delivery out of the country about the time I would deliver so she couldn't take me on.
God keeps putting the homebirth back in front of me every time I put it out of my mind. My dh said "no" after I told him how much it would cost for a CNM. Then a good friend just took the hospital tour and told us of the changes: the nursery glass has all been frosted except where they examine the baby and now there are blinds there which open only when YOUR child is up for inspection . Dh flipped out over this and has vowed we will NOT deliver there and that he wants a homebirth no matter what the cost
Sooooo.... the midwife originally recommended by my OB's nurse prac (who I couldn't get in touch with) just emailed me , so I'm gonna call her this morning
I'll keep you posted.
God Bless,
Alison
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mom to ds15, dd13 ,ds11, dd8, dd6, ds4, & dd18mos
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Kathryn UK
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OK,I'm confused  . Are you saying they put the babies in a separate nursery where you can't even SEE them?
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Kathryn
Dh Michael,  Rachel(3/95) Hannah(8/98) Naomi(6/06)  (11/07)
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Alcat
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Sorry Kathryn, let me explain...
When they built the new maternity ward at this hospital they weren't even going to put in a nursery, but the doctors got upset. So, they have the nursery in the middle of the ward and normally your baby only goes there to be examined, pictures taken, the hearing test(unless the mom requests the staff to take the baby). I am ok with this, because the baby rooms in with me and I stand and watch as my baby is checked up on... this normally gets the baby out of there quickly. It used to be that the doctor would just come to your room and examine the baby.
With the new arrangement you can't see into the nursery unless they open the blinds in the ONE window I don't understand this at all! It creeps me out that a parent would not be able to see their child if the staff decided not to open the blind 
This hospital was getting better and now it seems to be going down hill... I'm sure it's still better than some but...
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mom to ds15, dd13 ,ds11, dd8, dd6, ds4, & dd18mos
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Homebirth anyone?
