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amyable
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| Posted: April 09 2011 at 6:15pm | IP Logged
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In this thread on contentment/simplicity, Jennifer said:
Mackfam wrote:
| Please note...a gift is often mysterious. A gift may be a financial blessing, it may also be the blessing of poverty, it may sometimes be a cross to be borne, it may be a talent given so that creativity can be exercised. God's gifts cannot be measured or quantified and I have found that when I feel DIS-content, it is because I'm either (a) squandering a gift, or (b) not recognizing a gift. |
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I couldn't agree more, but would love if we could "unpack" this a bit more.
How can we learn not to squander the gifts? To recognize the unique gifts we are given?
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: April 09 2011 at 7:36pm | IP Logged
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Hmmm, I need to think on this one a bit. Tagging it so I remember to come back.
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
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MichelleW
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| Posted: April 11 2011 at 2:39am | IP Logged
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My family has been discussing this for the past several weeks. It came up when we were talking about whether or not we have ever called a blessing a curse. I realized that I was doing that each time I complained about something. We decided just before Lent that the way we learn to recognize gifts is by practicing gratitude.
We have been trying to each come up with 25 things we are grateful for each day. This forces us beyond the "normal" things. To come up with 25 requires that we examine each thing that has happened each day including things we did not originally tag as blessings.
We have been tested in this often this Lenten season. One example? I broke a tooth and had to have it pulled on Ash Wednesday. I hadn't realized that I had an issue with vanity until I was faced with a big hole. On the way home from the dentist I asked God, "Please Lord, I thank you for this but show me where is the blessing in this?" By the time I got home He had given me several including: the dentist bill was much smaller than we had anticipated, and this experience is teaching me something about humility.
We have had such great (almost) daily discussions about the gifts God gives us. It has become a scavenger hunt of sorts. My children in particular are so excited when they "uncover" a gift.
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Michelle
Mom to 3 (dd 14, ds 15, and ds 16)
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atara
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| Posted: April 11 2011 at 5:18am | IP Logged
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amyable wrote:
Mackfam wrote:
| I have found that when I feel DIS-content, it is because I'm either (a) squandering a gift, or (b) not recognizing a gift. |
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I have found that I often take my gifts for granted. In not recognizing a gift or forgetting that I have a gift, I become more discontent.
When I had my son, I thought I needed to give up my gifts and just be with him all the time. I soon realized that my gifts of music helped the world around me and it was important that my son see that. Not at his expense, but to his benefit. I am most content when I am using the gifts God has given me and in turn, sharing that gift with my son.
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I love my Catholic faith but what I think I love even more is passing it on to my child!
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Servant2theKing
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Some gifts are less visible or noticeable...for instance a grateful heart! Jen's inspired words are so perfect for exploring this subject more deeply! Michelle, I love your family's approach of reaching "beyond the normal things" to discover things to thank God for! When I lost four teeth last year (due to improper treatment by a dentist, who later left practice) I too had to reach far beyond the norm to pray for him and his family, and to thank God for the many ways He provided during those days....especially the gift of a compassionate dental surgeon who understood my tears of frustration and whose words helped transform personal feelings of loss into motivation to pray for a lost soul! (Michelle, I can so relate to the struggle with unrecognized vanity... what a wonderful gift to offer it up for the sake of another soul!)
One of God's greatest blessings and gifts is being able to accept humiliation or deprivation with a grateful, even joyful, heart! Seeking out His gifts and counting them is such a profound gift in itself! In doing so we eventually come to the realization that God can never be outdone in generosity! His blessings and gifts are overflowing and without measure!
I had a very poignant dream last night, involving three generations of my immediate and extended family. I awoke with a much deeper understanding that every single word and action in our lives...moment by moment, day by day...impacts every soul around us, as well as many generations yet to come! That dream was truly a gift from God, which helped me better realize that we ought to treat every moment and each encounter in life as a profound gift from God, deeply treasuring each experience and countless opportunities to be channels of His grace to one another! When we do such things faithfully we are truly able to be content....no matter what comes our way!
Past circumstances in our life, which the world might indeed label as trials, even "curses", have become profound blessings, which we have only recognized more fully as true gifts the more we have unpacked them throughout the years! Some of God's most profound and meaningful gifts come wrapped in thorns which nurture the rose He encloses within! If we accept the thorns, handling them with care, even embracing them with gratitude, eventually we reach the precious gift of the rose God has tenderly placed inside His unique package. If we reject or mishandle His gift, everything withers and we lose the entire blessing, especially the wondrous gift and treasure God intended for our good all along!
Joyously joining in the scavenger hunt you dear ladies have initiated....can't wait to uncover the marvelous, unexpected gifts of Grace God has hidden along the Way...can't wait to discover how He wants us to use them and pass them along to others...can't wait to see how God, Who gave us the greatest of all Gifts in a Manger and a Cross, plans to package the rest of life's gifts!!! The list grows ever longer!!!
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All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 11 2011 at 1:41pm | IP Logged
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when I see this thread I keep thinking.. you need time for introspection and retrospection. Which may be a part of simplicity. Just having that time to not be needing to go somewhere or do something. Though the are some chores I find that are conducive to this.. like pulling weeds in the garden or hanging clothes on the line.
And I say retrospection because it iften takes looking backward for me to see the lovely pattern.
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Mackfam
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| Posted: April 12 2011 at 11:22am | IP Logged
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I'm going to try to split this post up into parts because it got long as I prayerfully pieced it together over a couple of days. I entrust this to the Holy Spirit.
~ ~ ~
amyable wrote:
| How can we learn not to squander the gifts? To recognize the unique gifts we are given? |
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The beginning, middle, and end of this answer is here: (emphasis mine)
Quote:
| In all things give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you all. |
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(1 Thessalonians 5:18)
Quote:
| Rejoice in the Lord always...have no anxiety, but in every prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your petitions be made known to God. And may the peace of God which surpasses all understanding guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. |
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(Phillipians 4:4-7)
There is a lot there...but it's clear that:
- We should be thankful, and beyond thankful, even...
- Joyful (rejoice) in everything. (Important not to substitute JOY for an idea of HAPPINESS here. Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit and also a fruit of charity (CCC 1829). There is so much to unpack in the idea of joy alone...but it's interesting to see how it is connected to charity, and in our vocation, as the heart of our home, we make acts of charity, a gift of ourselves to our family --> one of the fruits of that charity is JOY.)
- When we have needs or concerns we can bring them to God with thanksgiving.
- And then GUARD! Guard the peace of God that surpasses all understanding in our heart and in our mind.
~ ~ ~
amyable wrote:
In this thread on contentment/simplicity, Jennifer said:
Mackfam wrote:
| Please note...a gift is often mysterious. A gift may be a financial blessing, it may also be the blessing of poverty, it may sometimes be a cross to be borne, it may be a talent given so that creativity can be exercised. God's gifts cannot be measured or quantified and I have found that when I feel DIS-content, it is because I'm either (a) squandering a gift, or (b) not recognizing a gift. |
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I couldn't agree more, but would love if we could "unpack" this a bit more. |
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I'm not sure I can go too much further in exploring the idea of GIFTS without trespassing into an area that is just very mysterious. I'll try to give examples from my own life to help illustrate and unpack this more, but the bottom line is that God desires our salvation, and He is a loving, tender Father that takes care of His children:
Quote:
| Consider how the lilies grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory was arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass which flourishes in the field today but tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more you, O you of little faith! |
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(Luke 12:27-28)
Some of this just comes down to TRUST. Trust that all that is given to you is a gift, that Our tender, merciful Heavenly Father gifts us with many different gifts to assist us on the narrow road which leads to Him.
Quote:
| Our Father "desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth." |
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(CCC 2822, see also 1 Timothy 2:3-4)
Not every gift that I have been given has been easy to accept or live out, yet every one has brought me closer to Him in proportion to my ability to TRUST, be THANKFUL, and JOYFUL, all of which are a direct result of God's grace, thus the importance of the Sacraments as conduits of God's grace when I am seeking to know a gift.
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Jodielyn wrote:
| you need time for introspection and retrospection |
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This is so true, and so essential. Within simplicity and quiet we find time to "be still and know" (Psalm 46:10). These happen in the small moments, when we can turn away from the noise of our own thoughts, and cultivate silence. When I feel overwhelmed because a "gift" feels more like a burden to me, it feels heavy, or painful, or even confusing, I can recognize that I'm allowing my own thoughts to drown out the stillness I need so that I can "know" a gift. Here's where I have probably not been guarding my own peace or prayerful enough to receive a gift in "a spirit of docility and readiness to act" (CCC 1310).
- Am I looking around at others? (There is nothing wrong with gathering ideas, but guard carefully so that you don't start thinking that so-and-so has it all together, or is the ultimate, or whatever...looking at others is fruitful when we can do so in a spirit of gratitude --> "thank you Lord for gifting that person with x, allow me the grace to work with that shared idea in a way that pleases you.")
- Am I comparing myself to other people in unhealthy ways? (I can't know all the mysterious needs of another person - God alone knows that! I can trust that He is gifting that person just as He provides His rich gifts unique to my needs.)
- Am I thinking beyond today? God provides daily bread - just as the children of Israel received daily manna, God provides grace for the moment. I can't hoard grace, or gather it up and save it for tomorrow. God's grace will be plentiful in the moment. Trust.
- Am I grateful?
Quote:
| What have you that you did not receive? |
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(1 Corinthians 4:7)
Quote:
| Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. |
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(1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
Quote:
| Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving... |
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(Colossians 4:2)
- Am I stuck dwelling on yesterday? That's no place for me. God's mercy lives there, His grace is for today, for the moment. I can take all of "the yesterdays" to confession if needed, trust that God's rich mercy covers and heals all, and keep my eyes and my heart in the present moment, in the daily duties of my vocation where I can practice charity (an act of the will, not a feeling of gushy-lovey-dovey), and receive the fruit of it --> JOY!!
~ ~ ~
What does all of that have to do with recognizing or squandering gifts? For me, all of those things - gratitude, entrusting the past to God's mercy, keeping my thoughts and prayer focused on today, trusting in God's rich grace which meets me in each moment - anchors me to God's will and unique plan for me, for my family. It stills the noise which tries to intrude from all those "yesterdays" and from unhealthy comparison and wondering "what if."
In stillness, I can know, I can recognize a gift. --> Peace. Contentment.
In noise, I'm often squandering gifts, complaining without gratitude, not focused on His plan, but constantly whining about the trouble, pain, long-suffering, apparent unfairness, misery. I may even be tempted to feel that I'm entitled to a certain gift that I haven't been given. --> No peace. No contentment.
These are not easy lessons for me to learn, and I do find myself doing the little tantrum dance after He gives me a mysterious and sometimes painful gift...more often than I'd care to admit...."waaaaahhhhhh!!!! why this again? why more? haven't we done enough? why are you asking me to suffer this AGAIN???? why? why? why? wah! wah! wah!" Ugh...I'm squandering the gift. I can't recognize it because I am making all the noise! And then, there's the lovely gift, the one that I'm tempted to think, "Oh yeah! This is great! I'm doing such a great job! Look at me go!" I'm squandering this gift because again, all the noise is about me....me, me, me...not gratitude, no recognition of the Giver of the Gift. ALL gifts come from Him. Period.
~ ~ ~
So...in trying to wind up my long train of thoughts....back to this...
amyable wrote:
| How can we learn not to squander the gifts? To recognize the unique gifts we are given? |
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- Be grateful and rejoice in God's love, mercy, understanding, and unique plan for me/our family.
- Trust (Comforting thought for me --> I don't have to understand, I just have to trust. This is my prayer so often, "I don't understand Lord, but I trust."
Quote:
| God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. |
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(Phillipians 4:19)
- Stillness -- of my heart, of my mind. This sometimes takes time and great effort, but with God's grace it is possible. Remember: we are to "be still" so we can "know".
- Work wholeheartedly in my vocation with charity to reap the fruit of JOY!
- Go often to the sacraments to receive God's grace!!
- Guard the peace that surpasses all understanding (do this by avoiding unhealthy comparison which undercuts contentment faster than anything in-the-world!!!)
Quote:
| For as in one body we have many members, and all the members do not have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually, members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given us, let us use them... |
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(Romans 12:4-6)
- Prayerful-on-your-knees-brainstorming to apply the gift of intellect to the gift God is currently giving me. Ask God for the tools my husband and I need to make good use of His gift!
~ ~ ~
How can we best receive (be open to) the gifts of God? The Catechism tells us (CCC 1310) in speaking of the Gifts of the Holy Spirit which come to us in the Sacrament of Confirmation. I'm summarizing:
- One must be in a state of grace.
- Receive the Sacrament of Confession to be cleansed for the gifts.
- Intense prayer prepares one to "receive the strength and graces of the Holy Spirit with docility and readiness to act."
Reception of the Sacraments and prayer prepare us to receive gifts with docility (ready to accept instruction), and a willingness to act based on the gift. This doesn't imply sitting still and sitting back....but action with God's gifts. Service! Prayerful-active-brainstorming. EXAMPLE: The gift of the curtailing of financial resources PRAYERFUL BRAINSTORMING as a result of docility in the face of the gift ACTION --> the necessity of learning frugality, creativity, and implementing resourcefulness in service to our family. FRUIT --> our children also learn the value of hard work, resourcefulness, and gratitude for the smallest of blessings. We serve others, and we offer back to God, making a gift of ourselves.
~ ~ ~
These are all just thoughts I've pulled together from some of my notes and prayerful brainstorming, Amy. I'm not sure if anything here helps "unpack" this idea, or rather just serves to illustrate the depth and profound mystery wrapped up in the simple gifts God offers us each and every day....and the futility in my trying to explain or illustrate it.
Pray for me that I can accept God's gifts with a spirit of gratitude, trusting in His plan, and prayerfully brainstorming ways to serve Him and live out His will with the gifts He generously provides!
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 12 2011 at 12:34pm | IP Logged
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Mackfam wrote:
In stillness, I can know, I can recognize a gift. --> Peace. Contentment.
In noise, I'm often squandering gifts |
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This made me realize that often I can lose sight of something being a gift in the "noise". So it's not a one time I need to recognize a gift.. but I need to keep recognizing when the noise is overwhelming and I'm losing sight of the *gift*.
You know what I mean?.. it's not a one time thing to recognize it.. but something you need to revisit over and over as the "noise" becomes overwhelming.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Mackfam
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JodieLyn wrote:
Mackfam wrote:
In stillness, I can know, I can recognize a gift. --> Peace. Contentment.
In noise, I'm often squandering gifts |
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This made me realize that often I can lose sight of something being a gift in the "noise". So it's not a one time I need to recognize a gift.. but I need to keep recognizing when the noise is overwhelming and I'm losing sight of the *gift*.
You know what I mean?.. it's not a one time thing to recognize it.. but something you need to revisit over and over as the "noise" becomes overwhelming. |
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Oh yes! I know exactly what you mean!! It's like St. Peter when he's walking on the water toward Our Lord. As soon as he begins to focus on all that is swirling around him, the impossibility of what he's doing....as soon as he loses His focus and his faith in Our Lord...he begins to sink.
I work to keep (guard) my interior heart's focus on the one thing needful even amidst the (sometimes noisy) daily duties and amidst the ever-present noise of a culture that is counter to the culture I'm attempting to foster within this little domestic monastery of our home. In the counter-culture of our domestic monastery, a gift can be recognized as a gift, and fostered as such because of the quiet and stillness that can be fostered here. Within the safe, nurturing walls of our home, a home which is to be like Our Lady when she is called "A Garden Enclosed", not only do we have the opportunity to recognize the gifts that God blesses us with, but we are able to assist our children in recognizing the precious gifts He sends their way, and as part of this "garden enclosed", we help them tend their gifts, nurturing them, weeding them when needed, watering and lovingly caring for them. We help them see His loving hand in the painful pruning of the tender branches of the gift, and wait with them to see the great fruit that comes from His wise and tender pruning. It's really a beautiful thought to follow through, and you can easily see how excessive noise would drown out the quieter, simpler tasks of tending this "garden enclosed" that yields such great fruit because it is blessed with the Gifts of the Divine Gardener. He moves through our "garden enclosed", our domestic church, offering gifts in His perfect timing, pruning other gifts, all so that the garden is fruitful.
Like you, Jodie, I often have to renew my focus as noise, waves, exterior thoughts and influences seek to have a place in my interior, in my heart (where they will multiply if not kept in check). Staying focused on the one thing needful, guarding my peace, going to the Sacraments, and renewing my prayerful spirit so that I can again be docile to those interior promptings of the Holy Spirit help me re-focus my gaze on the gift (not the impossibility of living it), and I again return to the garden to work wholeheartedly, to be as good a steward as I can be of the tender gifts left there.
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: April 12 2011 at 3:33pm | IP Logged
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I happened upon a book review that addresses 'resting in God' at this blog. I just wanted to touch on something from the book (I have not read the book) that really resonated with some current struggles in seeing my suffering as a gift.
Here's the excerpt (emphasis is mine):
Quote:
“A typical response to threat and burden is to want to flee it,” he writes. ”It’s evacuation as the cure for trouble. If only I could get away is our mantra. Then I would be safe. Then I could enjoy my life. But what we find is that flight becomes captivity: once we begin to flee the things that threaten and burden us, there is no end to fleeing.
“God’s solution is surprising. He offers rest. But it’s a unique form of rest. It’s to rest in him in the midst of our threats and our burdens. It’s discovering, as David did in seasons of distress, that God is our rock and refuge right in the thick of our situation.” (p. 17, The Rest of God) |
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Where's the lightbuld emoticon when you need one?
So fleeing from my burden (my cross) is actually keeping me captive to that cross. Instead, God calls us to rest, to be still. In the stillness we find that we are safe when we rest in God. We find that this burden is a gift; a much needed gift that could only be found through an uphill struggle. A Joy that could not be realized until we stopped running away from our gift.
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 12 2011 at 3:42pm | IP Logged
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oh Mamaslearning that reminds me of a quote I pulled off someone's signature line or something..
Quote:
| Peace: It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart |
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__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Mackfam
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| Posted: April 12 2011 at 3:50pm | IP Logged
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mamaslearning wrote:
| In the stillness we find that we are safe when we rest in God. |
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This reminds me very much of St. Augustine:
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| Thou hast created us for Thyself, and our heart is not quiet until it rests in Thee. |
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__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Recognizing gifts? Squandering gifts?
