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seeker
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| Posted: Feb 28 2011 at 11:09am | IP Logged
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a request for general advice for a discouraged mommy...
Is there one that you prefer over the other?
I really need help with habits and my seven y.o. It's getting to be a real struggle that's rubbing off on my four y.o. as well. Of course I'm sure that being in p.s. doesn't help... Do I sound bitter? I really need help and prayers concerning my attitude, too.
I know a book isn't a magic wand or anything like that, but I need some encouragement right now. We had a really bad morning, attitudes were ugly, and I hate sending her off to school after a morning like that. I'm really frustrated that I can't just go ahead and pull her out of school right now... and that I don't know when I'll be able to homeschool.
Gee, looking at this I wonder who needs the attitude adjustment more... 
Advice??
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JennGM
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| Posted: Feb 28 2011 at 12:08pm | IP Logged
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Funny how you mention looking at yourself. It never fails when I see some attitudes or lack of good habits, when dh and I take a good look, it usually points back to us. So in laying down the rails, it first starts with us.
But we are called to be parents and the primary educators, so things don't go on hold while we work on our faults. To me, it's a bit of a mystery of the sacarament of marriage to see how we can simultaneously teach and form our children to be saints while we're working out our own path.
Anyway, I have not used PACE...I have heard that it is a wonderful program, but time consuming/crosses over all areas of curriculum.
When I attended Catholic school, my mother made sure that catechism was added on to our days, even though we had school. It was important. Maybe this is an area you want to add.
I thought I would add this thread which discusses many different approaches to forming in virtues and habits.
I think Mary Ann Budnik and David Isaacs books would help you. I also really enjoyed the beginning part of Laying Down the Rails. It was a lightbulb moment for me to understand that the habit training requires a great deal of work from me. One of the problems was not immediately answering or coming when called. I had to mean what I say...both of us got into bad habits of waiting until I had called more than once.
So it requires follow-through on my part. I didn't find as helpful the individual treatment of the habits, but that was just me.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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pmeilaen
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| Posted: March 01 2011 at 11:12pm | IP Logged
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I own both and think they are very diffrent. PACE gives you book recommendations that illustrate a virtue, but is also quite abstract and doesn't give you much help on how to teach your child the virtue. I've tried using it several times, but have finally given up. It's not a good match for our family. "Laying Down the Rails" focuses on Charlotte Mason's ideas on good habits. It gives you questions to ask yourself about each habit. I read one habit at a time and discuss it with my children. We then practice the habit for a week before moving on to the next one. Have you seen the sample pages for this book?
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Eva
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seeker
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| Posted: March 04 2011 at 9:18am | IP Logged
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Thank you Eva and Jenn! I was leaning more toward "Laying Down the Rails" but liked the sound of PACE as well because it's Catholic (right?). Jenn, I've considered getting the Budnick books before - hadn't heard of the David Isaacs book, so thanks for the plug!
I also found a lot of character lap books to make here, so we started the one on obedience this week. I especially like the Ten Ways to Test Your Obedience. The lap books aren't anything that I think I would replace for any of the aforementioned books (The David Isaacs book looks great!), but they'll do (maybe) until I can get one (or two or three?) of the books you've suggested.
Is there anything you can suggest for whining? Or maybe that really falls under obedience?
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JennGM
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| Posted: March 04 2011 at 12:39pm | IP Logged
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seeker wrote:
| Is there anything you can suggest for whining? Or maybe that really falls under obedience? |
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I think it does fall under obedience, particularly when the whining coincides with something the child is told. Whining is a way of talking back or complaining. There is no prompt obedience if my child is whining when he is supposed to do something.
Now the whining of a little one, since I know he can talk, we just respond with phrases like "I know you are trying to tell me something, but all I hear is whining." "Use your words, please." "I can't understand you. Please stop whining and ask me directly and clearly what you want."
Or we imitate the noise and ask them to use English.
This is something we're working on now for both boys, 3 and 7. Different manifestations of whining.... Again, it does require me to be alert and listening to them. When I'm distracted and not focused on them, whining slips in. If I respond immediately to the whining, we are more on top of developing the good habit.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: March 04 2011 at 12:56pm | IP Logged
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I have Mrs. Budnik's Teach Them Virtues book and she does reference Dr. Isaacs' books/ideas. I like this book for it's insight and clarity of defining virtures and how they look, along with their corresponding vices. She also outlines how to assess each chid's temperament to come up with a plan for teaching them virutes.
I woud not consider it a "program" to follow, although she does give examples of when and how to teach each virtue. It's more along the lines of an active parenting book than a curriculum book. If that makes sense. It's great as a continual (like daily or weekly depending on your kids  ) reference book.
I know I'm not explaining my impression very well, but my muddled brain is not coherently stringy my thoughts together this afternoon. 
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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seeker
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| Posted: March 04 2011 at 3:28pm | IP Logged
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Jenn,
My girls are almost 4 and just turned 7, so I was so glad to hear yours are about the same age. I do need to remember to keep my focus where it belongs.
Lara,
You explained that just fine! It sounds like a great reference book.
Thanks again ladies! I feel like I can always rely on the 4Real ladies to give me great advice. You guys are like my mentors!
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: P.A.C.E vs Laying Down the Rails and...
