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VanessaVH
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| Posted: Nov 12 2010 at 2:04pm | IP Logged
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Quick background: I am 10 weeks pregnant, after miscarrying the last baby I am an emotional basket case, and am not really thinking clearly.
We joined a home-school Co-op, this is the last week of a 9 week semester, there will be another semester starting in the middle of January. All moms are required to teach or assist for 2 of the hours, with the 3rd free (whichever hour that is for them, hope that makes sense...) I signed up to teach preschool story and craft time, which takes 2 hours because the kids are divided into two classes. When they asked a few weeks ago if I could do the same thing for next semester, I said yes, figuring that I should help a lot now, because next year we will (hopefully) have a tiny baby, so I won't be able to do much. But now I am not sure I should, and I need to decide, and if I can't do it, I need to know how to tactfully let the coordinator know.
Reasons why I should consider stepping down from teaching:
1. It is several hours of prep at home for me to come up with lesson plan, collect books and materials and prep the craft. (if I just assist, there would be no prep, would just have to show up)
2. I am now becoming worried about my health and babies health and not sure I should tackle anything that adds stress. (Last week I came home so exhausted, that I was either throwing up or laying on the floor the rest of the day, today I started feeling crampy about 1/2 way through teaching, which has me paranoid about miscarrying, even though it only feels like Braxton Hicks)
3. Due to above I broke down crying after class today, My SIL who was there says I should step down (in fact is threating to cross me off the list if I don't because she is worried about me) she also brought up a good point about not doing something that is too much for me just because I have a fear that I am not helping enough
4 which brings me to PRIDE, I know that is the root thing here.... I know I do a good job, but just because I do, doesn't mean I have to right?
Reasons I should keep doing it
1. by the time the 2nd semester starts, I should be feeling much better as I will be almost 20 weeks, I would feel terrible if I put them in a bind, and then ended up feeling just fine by then
2. I LOVE doing it, despite a few rough days, overall I really enjoy it.
3. DS 3yo stays with me for both sessions, and then I stay for the last instead of taking my break, If I do something else, he won't stay in the preschool class (I could possibly assist there, but not sure) and I don't want him to miss out on the opportunity.
4. The pride reasons, I want to finish up the alphabet (we will make it to I before break) I don't want to have a reputation for being flighty by signing up and then quiting. I really enjoy being appreciated for being a teacher, I love how the mom's are always telling me how much their kids like my class and how cute the crafts are.....
If you made it this far, thanks for listening to my ramblings. Please help me to think straight, and let me know if and how I should tactfully step down, e-mail seems impersonal, it will probably be busy at the last class day/potluck next week to do it in person, and I am afraid that doing it in person or on the phone will end up with me crying again, because as I mentioned I am truly a basket case right now... I can hardly listen to the radio without some song making me cry, or get through a sad part in a picture book... you get the picture.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Nov 12 2010 at 2:08pm | IP Logged
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You know what.. I would just call up the person in charge and let them know that you didn't expect to be struggling because of the pregnancy that you really want to keep doing it.. and you hope that it's just being exhausted in the first trimester. And ask when is the latest you have to make a decision to step down or not. Because you want to do the class and should be feeling much better by then.
That gives them the heads up that you might have to step down for health reasons.. BUT still leaves it open for you to do it if you feel you can.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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SeaStar
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| Posted: Nov 12 2010 at 2:13pm | IP Logged
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My goodness, Vanessa- what a lot on your plate right now.
BABY"S HEALTH (and yours) COMES FIRST. Say it with me.
You must give first priority to this new little life. No one is going to call you a slacker for doing this, especially since you have had a recent miscarriage.
I don't know a mother who would want you to carry on and risk the baby's health.
Perhaps you could take a "leave of absence" for awhile, until you feel better and the danger of miscarriage is past. Leave the door open for yourself to take a more active role when you are feeling better. You will have many years ahead of you to help with crafts and story time.
Go easy with yourself- you are a hard working mother and the guardian of a new life 
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Nov 12 2010 at 2:25pm | IP Logged
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Another suggestion: See if you can co-teach next semester, with someone else doing either the lesson or the craft so you don't have to do everything every single week. (This would, of course, also provide you with an insta-sub if you need to take a day off to rest or whatever.)
I understand your love of teaching at co-op - I feel the same way about ours. But teaching is a lot like being on stage (but for much more time than actors are performing during a play!). It takes a LOT of energy out of anyone, and your body is channeling energy to your little one and his/her well-being. I like Jodie's suggestion (in fact, one of the moms in our co-op made an announcement like that at the beginning of this semester!), but it sounds like there's a great deal of work involved with this class, so I think that if I were in your shoes I would also want to lighten the load a bit.
If your co-op hasn't had co-teachers before, well...there's always a first time! 
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Erin
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| Posted: Nov 12 2010 at 7:41pm | IP Logged
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SeaStar wrote:
BABY"S HEALTH (and yours) COMES FIRST. Say it with me.
You must give first priority to this new little life. No one is going to call you a slacker for doing this, especially since you have had a recent miscarriage.
I don't know a mother who would want you to carry on and risk the baby's health.
Perhaps you could take a "leave of absence" for awhile, until you feel better and the danger of miscarriage is past. Leave the door open for yourself to take a more active role when you are feeling better. You will have many years ahead of you to help with crafts and story time.
Go easy with yourself- you are a hard working mother and the guardian of a new life |
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I agree wholeheartedly, this is not the season for you. Please, please listen to your body.
__________________
Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Need Insight and Advice *sorry so long*
