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Kyra
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| Posted: Sept 28 2010 at 11:34am | IP Logged
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Our 2 3/4 year old boy has been going to sleep pretty peacefully for almost a year. Well, on and off, but bedtime and naptime haven't been a problem for a long time. Last Thursday he decided he was terrified of sleeping on his own. Full-blown frightened hysterics about everything to do with bedtime. He also won't stay alone in a room without pitching a huge fit.
So far we've taken apart his crib, rearranged his room, and my husband has gone to sleep with him every night. At eight-thirty. He's a very high-energy boy and doesn't seem to be able to lie down until he's too tired to stand up, so a crib (which kept him confined so he didn't get distracted) was great. Now we can't keep him in bed and he's falling asleep very late and not napping because he's terrified of being alone.
We have a six-month-old who's still cosleeping and napping erratically, and everyone in bed together doesn't fit plus they wake each other up.
Oh, yes- my husband has to get up at five so I have to set the alarm, wake up at five, get up without waking baby, go in to the toddler's room and try to get DH up without waking the toddler. I don't think continuing to sleep in his room is tenable.
So, I think the problems are:
How to stop toddler from being afraid of being alone
How to stop toddler from being afraid to sleep
Figuring out a way for my husband to stop sleeping in his room and not getting any rest
Deep breaths and lots of praying. Any suggestions?
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Sept 28 2010 at 12:03pm | IP Logged
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My first thought is to continue the prayers, but also bless the room. Your prayers for and with him can only help.
Is there something he might have seen on tv that could be bothering him? I know children start having night terrors at around that age.
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Sept 28 2010 at 2:31pm | IP Logged
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I think it is common at this age. You just have to figure out how to get through.
My personal opinion, FWIW  , is you really can't stop him from being afraid. I would support him, think of some solution so you all can get some sleep--realize it will be temporary and give the guy little some lovin'. He is scared!
Did you change his room?--like recently take him out of his crib? Set it back up! Put his room back the way it was--I personally would do ANYTHING for sleep
Can little guy sleep on a mattress on the floor of your room? Can you sleep in his room and let dh sleep in your room? Find a solution where you get your best sleep.
And if you baby and little guy can nap together in your bed...hey, that sounds win win to me.
Just ideas, praying for sleep for you all soon.
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Kyra
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| Posted: Sept 28 2010 at 7:21pm | IP Logged
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We took apart his crib after he had a fit about staying in it. No other changes.
Argh. I can hear him screaming about not going to bed right now.
ETA: I think I'm nervous because he was a terrible sleeper until almost two, nursed every hour or so, and had temper tantrums in the night. And then we had a good almost-year. The only way we can get him to stay in bed is to go to bed very early. I know it probably won't last for more than a month or two, but that's a very long time to go without having time in the evening to clean or talk or be intimate. Tonight it feels/sounds half like fear and half like anger, which makes me want to do reassurance but not let him get his own way (which is no sleep and more time to play and chat).
He's getting at least three fewer hours sleep a day since he won't nap.
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Kyra
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| Posted: Sept 28 2010 at 7:38pm | IP Logged
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If he's in our room the alarm will definitely wake him at five, and if he's in our room he doesn't sleep- he wakes and plays in the night.
Sigh.
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Sanveann
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| Posted: Sept 28 2010 at 7:53pm | IP Logged
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Poor kiddo (and parents!). My first thought was night terrors or bad dreams. Does he have a special stuffed animal, or could you get him one, that would help "keep him company"? Do you have a pet that could safely sleep in his room?
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mathmama
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| Posted: Sept 28 2010 at 7:54pm | IP Logged
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I feel like a broken record, but is there any chance there are some food allergies at work? In my house, sleep issues often point to that. Any recent changes in his diet? Is he eating more of something like gluten or dairy? (or anything, any food can cause any reaction)
Just throwing that out there. Hope you find a solution. Sleep issues are so tough. Besides the torture for the child who isn't getting the sleep he needs to thrive, no downtime for mom and/or dad in the evening can be very trying. I didn't have *any* downtime from the moment my second child was born until she was almost 2 because of her food allergies. She would wake every single hour and then take at least 15-20 to get back to sleep and then she was awake 40 minutes later. Life is tough when you see every hour of the day....for 2 years 
Beth
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Kyra
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| Posted: Sept 29 2010 at 6:47pm | IP Logged
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Well, he's Type 1 diabetic, which is... not so fun. Could be allergies. I think he's just clingy and anxious and scared right now, therefore stalling and wanting some inchoate kind of comfort every single minute. It's pretty wearing.
Right now he's in the bath crying for me. I have chores to do and his dad is bathing him and getting him ready for bed adn probably sleeping with him.
He has a stuffed frog that travels with us everywhere, but now he's so anxious he wants Frog in the bath with him, and cries when we won't dunk the stuffed toy.
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Sept 30 2010 at 12:26pm | IP Logged
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I will pray for you Kyra. It sounds like this is a very trying time for you and DH, but it also sounds like it's just a "season", meaning it wont last forever.
When you say he's a diabetic, and might have allergies, I'm wondering if a trip to the doctor is necessary. Maybe insulin doses need to change? Is he going through a growth spurt? While I don't know much about diabetes, I can't help but think that could be causing part of the problem.
Pray for strength and grace during this time (for you and DH!). Pray to Mary for help.
I will pray for you right now.
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Becky
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Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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Teachin'Mine2
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| Posted: Sept 30 2010 at 3:54pm | IP Logged
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Could you just put his bed, or even just the mattress in your room temporarily? It might make for an easier transition to his own room easier at a later date.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Toddler suddenly terrified of sleeping!
