Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Subject Topic: ? re:gift giving as a love language Post ReplyPost New Topic
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SaraP
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Posted: Aug 13 2010 at 1:03pm | IP Logged Quote SaraP
Do people who give gifts as a primary way of showing love feel hurt if they do not receive similar gifts?

I come from a very un-gifty family, but have several relatives my marriage who seem to feel acutely uncomfortable if they arrive for even one visit without *lots* of gifts for every member of our household. We accept the gifts with enthusiasm and gratitude and have coached the kids to do the same, but it occurred to me recently that perhaps these relatives are hurt that we don't reciprocate in kind. We do give nice, thoughtful gifts for birthdays and at Christmas, but not every time we see people.

Thoughts?



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Nique
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Posted: Aug 13 2010 at 1:22pm | IP Logged Quote Nique
Is it a "Hostess Gift" that your relatives give, when they come over, for say dinner? If it's a meal you are making for them, I would believe they are simply saying "Thank you" with their present.

You mentionned they give ALOT. Perhaps they are simply generous people, who want everybody in your family to feel appreciated. It sounds like you are a very thankful family, and that is lovely for the giver

If you go to their home for a meal, it is always a thoughtful gesture to bring a gift for the Host/Hostess, considering how much work/time/money is involved with having company over. Even if you are bringing the dessert or salad. If you are bringing a "part" of the meal, I would suggest something small too ~ like a blessed candle. However, if you are not bringing any food with you (that you both agreed upon you'd bring) you could give a gift they could ALL use (maybe a family game?).

We have a family of friends I noticed who do the same (bring a gift for everybody). And until recently I started giving alittle something to everybody when we go there. But I do not think that is my friends intention, when they give out gifts to us. They are simply kind and thoughtful people.

If your relatives simply show up to your place unannounced and give out gifts like this, then I would think that does not need to be reciprocated.

Personally I do not expect gifts back when I give. Giving brings me much joy!



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Barbara C.
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Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 1:01pm | IP Logged Quote Barbara C.
They might feel hurt/unappreciated by not receiving gifts. Or they may just feel more loved and appreciated by receiving something, no matter how small.

My mom is a gift-giver. She loves buying souvenirs and collecting little things for the kids. My dad (and I) are both acts of service of people. He could never understand why she wanted flowers as a present and rarely ever gave them to her. (I'm not big on flowers, either.) But I've come to realize that for her it really is the thought that counts...flowers, cards, any little gift makes her feel loved and appreciated.

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