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burgerktjds
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| Posted: March 12 2005 at 8:47am | IP Logged
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Hi, we have 3 little ones (8,6,3 1/2)and have never let God control our family size. We've done nothing 'permanent', but we both agreed we felt we were done having children. Truly, I didn't have any feelings about having 'just one more'--I LOVED being able to go out without diaper bags and strollers, of watching and running around after my 3 little ones of being so happy Shelby is bigger now and she really gets loved on by brothers and is part of their play. My hubby has been gone for 3wks and while he's been gone I have felt the Lord put having another child on my heart. I finally feel like things are going smoothly...why would I change this with pregnancy??
The strangest thing is I always seemed to way having more kids based on trying to get them close together and on how old my oldest will be---so they ALL are buddies. Do I pray that the Lord will soften my husbands heart about this issue before we talk...do I pray that he takes this from my heart so that I don't long for something we won't follow through with? Again, we've always used something for BC, this would really be a big switch!
Teresa in GA
wife to a USMC for 13yrs and mommy to 3 sweeties
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Angie Mc
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Hi Teresa,
Thank you for posting this tender topic. Your post really touched my heart. I was just talking about this very topic with a loved one in my life. It is a topic of concern for many and worthy of our time, consideration, and gentle care. I am confident that the ladies here will be able to offer support, reassurance, and good information from hard-earned experience and a loving heart.
I will be away from home for most of today, but want you to know that I'll be thinking of you...and a reply or two for later  .
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
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Chari
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Funny you should bring this up this morning. Just before I went to bed, I was preparing the below article for the newsletter I publish........I feel comfortable posting it here because the author gives permission for it to be redistributed. I think it was originally posted on another forum? The more the merrier?
Also..........I think a good prayer to pray is: To do God's will in your life.......and to ask for the grace to recognize God's will for you and your family, and the grace and courage to follow His will.
Like Angie, I will keep your intentions in my prayers.
God bless,
Chari
Ten Great Reasons to Have Another Child
"Behold, sons are a gift from the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a
reward." Psalm 127:3
Reason One:
Have another child to join with God in the creation of an immortal soul.
Parents are given the incredible opportunity to assist God in the creation of an immortal soul. As the late Cardinal Mindszenty said, even the angels have not been given such a grace.
"The most important person on earth is a mother. She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not. She has built something more magnificent than any cathedral-a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby's body...Even the angels have not been given such a grace! What is more glorious than this-to be a mother." Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty
Reason Two:
Have another child to bring joy into your life.
There is no joy like the joy of welcoming another child into your life. You will marvel anew at how perfectly formed your little one is, and over how quickly you will fall head over heels in love with him. You will be enchanted with every tiny aspect of her appearance. The color of her hair, the shape of her nose, and the winsomeness of her smile will occasion endless happy debates about from which side of the family (yours, of
course) she got that adorable trait.
The birth of a child will bind you to God more tightly than ever before, in awed gratitude. "She was the most miraculous thing that had ever happened in my life," Whittaker Chambers wrote about his new daughter in Witness. And in the lives of most of us.
I thought that one day
I would be a famous artist.
and create great works of art
Instead, God made me a mother,
and my children
are His masterpiece.
The design of their lives
will live on after me.
What is painted on their hearts
will last an eternity Anonymous
Reason Three:
Have another child to grown in holiness and virtue.
For those who marry and have families, children are the primary means God uses to help them grow in holiness and virtue. Children teach their parents patience, perseverance, charity, and humility. They give their parents the opportunity to practice the corporal and spiritual works of mercy. They come into the world naked, and we clothe them, hungry and we feed them. Thirsty, and we give them drink. All of the things that we are required to do for the "least of these our brothers," we do first and foremost for our own children. St. Catherine of Siena once had a vision in which God took her to a roomful of crosses and told her to pick one. St. Catherine went to the largest, heaviest cross in the room and would have chosen it. But God told her that it was not for her: That was reserved for the parents of large families.
"Mary gave birth to her first-born son and wrapped him in swaddling
clothes." Luke 2:7
Reason Four:
Have another child to help end abortion.
When Mother Teresa of Calcutta was asked by a young mother about the best way to proceed with pro-life work, she responded emphatically, "Have a big family. That is the best way to end abortion!"
How this works is not difficult to understand. As children become more rare due to contraception, sterilization and abortion, whole segments of society become less and less familiar with the sense of joy and hope that only babies and children can give. In this climate, contraception and abortion feed on themselves, as the increasingly selfish few further reduce their number.
By having another child, you demonstrate once again to the world that children are God's greatest gifts. "Children build up the life of the family and society," as Pope John Paul II has said. "The child becomes a gift to its brothers and sisters, parents and entire family. Its entire life becomes a gift for the very people who were givers of life and who cannot help but feel its presence, its sharing in their life and its contribution to the common good and to the community of the family."
The more children there are in society, the more pro-life that society will become, and the easier it will be for the great evil of abortion to be eradicated once and for all.
"Choose life, then, that you and your descendants may live." Deuteronomy
30:19
Reason Five A:
Have another child so your sons will have brothers and your daughters will have sisters. Children who have siblings learn early to share. They learn to take turns and to put the needs of others before their own. The bond formed between brothers and sisters is lifelong, and stronger than the bond between the closest friends.
"How good it is, how pleasant, where the brothers dwell as one!" Psalm
133:1-2
Reason Five B:
Have another child so your sons will have sisters and your daughters will have brothers.
Boys who have sisters learn the dignity of women. They learn to treat
other girls and women with respect, as they consider how they would like their own sisters to be treated. Girls who have brothers learn the complementarity of men and women, both fashioned in the image and likeness of God.
"Love begins by taking care of the closest ones-the ones at home." Mother Teresa
Reason Six:
Have another child so you (and your parents) won't be lonely in old age. People who have children don't have to rely upon strangers to care for them in their old age. Children also become the parents of your grandchildren. Grandchildren bring joy, happiness, and laughter, while still allowing you to get a good night's sleep!
"Grandchildren are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their parentage." Proverbs 17:6
Reason Seven:
Have another child because people are our greatest resource. Humans are blessed with the gifts of an intellect and free will. It is human ingenuity that discovers creative solutions to the problems which confront us. People without children should remember that it will be someone else's child who will become the doctor that performs their life-saving operations. Someone else's child will become the firefighter that saves their house. Someone else's child will become the railroad engineer.
"How can there be too many children? That's like saying there are too many
flowers." Mother Teresa
Reason Eight:
Have another child to contribute to the economy.
Families with children are fuel to the economy, purchasing houses and cars and college educations. Without young people to enter the workforce, social security systems fail. Without children to attend school, teachers are jobless. Many industries, from fast food restaurants to toy stores, obviously rely heavily upon business from and for children to stay in business. But ultimately the whole economy does.
"Like a fruitful vine your wife within your home, Like olive plants your children around your table. Just so will they be blessed who fear the
Lord." Psalm 128:3-4
Reason Nine:
Have another child to counter global depopulation.
Anyone who has traveled from coast to coast in the United States and seen the vast empty spaces should know that America is not overpopulated. In fact, the entire population of the world could live in the state of Texas, in single-family dwellings with front and back yards.
Fertility rates are falling everywhere. The world's population will never again double. If current trends continue, world population will peak by the middle of this century and then begin demographic freefall.
Our long-term problem is not too many children, but too few children. Having another child will help offset the coming population implosion.
"Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth." Genesis 1:28.
Reason Ten:
Have another child to help populate heaven.
The child that you and your spouse have been generous in accepting from God was created to return to Him, after a life of love, service, and obedience on earth, to spend eternity with God in heaven.
Our Lord Himself said that there was plenty of room for those immortal souls. There is no overpopulation problem in Heaven!
"There are many mansions in my Father's house." John 14:2
------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------
Steve Mosher is the president of Population Research Institute, a non-profit organization dedicated to debunking the myth that the world is overpopulated.
(c) 2001 Population Research Institute.
Permission to reprint granted. Redistribute widely. Credit requested.
To subscribe to the Weekly Briefing, send an email to: Mail to: JOIN-PRI@Pluto.Sparklist.Com.
Nothing written here is to be construed as an attempt to aid or hinder the passage of any bill before Congress.
The Population Research Institute is dedicated to ending human rights abuses committed in the name of "family planning," and to ending counter-productive social and economic paradigms premised on the myth of "overpopulation."
PRI
P.O. Box 1559
Front Royal, Virginia USA 22630
Phone: (540) 622-5240 Fax: (540) 622-2728
Email: scott@pop.org
Media Contact: Scott Weinberg (540) 622-5240, ext. 209
__________________
Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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Bridget
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Dear Teresa,
God bless you for trying to be open to what God is calling you to do. It's clear you love and enjoy the children you have very much. My expereince has been that more children expand that love.
The more children you have, the more tender moments you have, the more funny moments you have, the more opportunities to serve Christ in your little ones. Your older children learn to appreciate life and babies. They have opportunities to help with the younger children and that helps them learn to serve others.
I can reccomend a book that might help you and your husband make this leap.
Life Giving Love by Kimberly Hahn.
Also there are many larger families here. Please don't hesitate to post further questions , we love talking about how our families work and about how we came to be open to life.
__________________
God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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Bridget
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Bridget wrote:
Dear Teresa,
Also there are many larger families here. Please don't hesitate to poste further questions , we love talking about how our families work and about how we came to be open to life. |
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I should correct that, there are many smaller families here who are open to life and allowing God to plan their families as well.
__________________
God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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jdostalik
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Dear Teresa,
I saw your post this morning but I didn't have time to respond. I have a sick little baby right now and she is asleep in my arms as I type, so I'll make this brief. I was going to mention the book by Kimberly Hahn, Life Giving Love, as well. I have a copy that is just collecting dust on my book shelf. I would be happy to send it to you. Just private message me your address if you would like it and I will mail it out Monday.
Keep praying to God for His plan to be revealed to you and your husband. You are in my prayers!
__________________
God Bless,
Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
Let the Little Ones Come
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Molly Smith
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Teresa, I'll be praying for you. Please don't think I'm making light of it, but I say there's always room for one more! We had a time where we were not including God in our family planning, but since we've let Him in on the deal he's given us two more wonderful kiddos. I couldn't imagine life without them. AND, my dh now is asking me when he thinks we'll be able to have another!
I love Chari's re-post of the 10 reasons to have another child. I'm not sure if I saw in there the analogy of the candles. The "parent" candle can light many small candles, yet the "parent" flame never grows dimmer--same with a parents love. I know there will be someone here who can say it more eloquently.
Oh! And I just saw in the news today that an area of Japan is literally paying moms to have a third child because they're concerned about their population decline. If you go to www.netscape.com and skim the headlines you'll find the link. (I have no idea how to post links  , sorry.)
You and your husband will be in my prayers!
__________________
Molly Smith in VA
Mom to seven beautiful children, ages 1-14
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amyable
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I'll be reading any replies to this topic with interest too!
We are currently pregnant with #4, but after that, my husband wants to be "done". Nothing permanent will be done, and no artificial birth control - but back to using NFP with the "contraceptive mindset." My dh *does* have valid concerns - our age when fertility will return (I'll be nearing 40 when another baby would be born - this doesn't bother me like it bothers him), my post partum depressions, the fact that we will most likely not only have to take care of our 4 but also of my parents and grandparents in the not so distant future, etc.
Still...I can't imagine closing the door on this forever, even if it's just through NFP. What I pray is that if God wants us to have another, he'll have to change dh's mind. *I* can't do that, but God can. All I ever do is stick my foot in my mouth when I try to talk to dh about it.  So that is my only advice to you - pray that God will align your dh's heart with His will for YOUR family, whatever that may be. And then when dh comes to you all of a sudden saying he wouldn't mind having another, say yes even though you may be having cold feet again! 
Amy
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burgerktjds
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Amazing! These were the most thoughtful and personal responses to a question that I actually worried was 'off topic' and not to be included in here. My extra burden is simply that my husband is not a Christian--born into a Jewish family but doesn't practice anything. We pray in Jesus' name, we go to Church without him, etc. Wonderful man, loving, etc....but my issue is 2-fold when we talk. Letting God be in control will be a bit tricky to share. I LOVE my children and have been on my knees so much lately praying for God to SHOUT at me to follow him--I"m still learning as a baby in my faith to really and truly 'hear' what he has for me. Thank you again for your beautiful encouragement.
Teresa in GA
wife to a USMC for 13yrs and mommy to 3 sweeties
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Karen E.
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burgerktjds wrote:
My extra burden is simply that my husband is not a Christian--born into a Jewish family but doesn't practice anything. We pray in Jesus' name, we go to Church without him, etc. Wonderful man, loving, etc....but my issue is 2-fold when we talk. Letting God be in control will be a bit tricky to share.
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Dear Teresa,
I only have a minute, so can't really do this justice, but just wanted to say that I'm reminded of my own situation 10 years ago. When I came into the Catholic Church in '95, I had become convicted that I had to do everything in my power to live the Church's teachings. My husband was a "fallen-away Lutheran" at the time, with no interest in becoming Catholic. But, his loving and generous nature led him to believe that he couldn't force anything on me that I was morally opposed to, and so he agreed to "live with NFP" and we stopped using birth control. He didn't want any more children at the time (we had only Emily then) but -- long story short -- we've since had two more live births (our sweet Lizzy and adorable Kate) and three other miscarriages, and my husband came into the Church in 2000.
With God, all things are possible. I've done many a novena to St. Joseph in my day, to ask his intercession for my husband's heart to be softened. St. Joseph has been very good to us.
Please feel free to write me privately anytime, and know that you'll be in my prayers.
I'll be a little busy over the next few days, with Lizzy in "recovery" from her tonsillectomy, etc., (I anticipate a number of videos, though) but I'll definitely get back to you if you write.
May God bless you and your husband as you journey ever closer to Him,
__________________
God bless,
Karen E.
mom to three on earth, and several souls in God's care
Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
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jmdmcc
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Hi. My name is Maureen. I am 37, as is my husband Jim. We have 8 children ( 7 girls, 1 boy), we homeschool and live in Kansas City. I"m trying to find the NFP discussion started by Candise on the Charlotte Mason list. Can anyone help me? Please PM me. Thanks, Maureen
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Angie Mc
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jmdmcc wrote:
| Hi. My name is Maureen. I am 37, as is my husband Jim. We have 8 children ( 7 girls, 1 boy), we homeschool and live in Kansas City. I"m trying to find the NFP discussion started by Candise on the Charlotte Mason list. Can anyone help me? Please PM me. Thanks, Maureen |
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By chance is this the new thread started at the forum "The More the Merrier?"
God bless,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
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jdostalik
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Maureen,
Here's a link to Candise's message on the yahoo! CCM board:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CatholicCMason/message/64536
At the bottom are all the replies to her message that you can click on and read as well...
__________________
God Bless,
Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
Let the Little Ones Come
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burgerktjds
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My heart is still wanting more children and today we pick up Daddy from his 3wk trip. His response to my change of heart and excitement was, "Oh". Hmm...how do men sum up so much stuff in one grunt? Another phone call revealed more, "Honey, have you been thinking much about what I mentioned about more children?" "Not really, we were at a boat show for most of Saturday." Hmm.... expecting hubby to do more than one thing at a time? All joking aside, I don't remember the best timing for conception (yes, leaving it to the Lord in the first place!) and so this week is 'that time of the month', but doesn't that make the week right after a good one? I know there's info out there on that part, but my point of this post was to ask for your prayers and if I pop into your thoughts just sending a quick prayer our way in terms of softening my husbands heart, strengthening my heart to any lack of enthusiasm and of course to let Gods will be done.
__________________
Teresa in GA
wife to USMC hubby for 12yrs and mommy to 3 sweeties (8ds, 6ds, 3dd)
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Elizabeth
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Dear Teresa,
The first day of menstruation is Day 1. Usually, ovulation occurs around Day 14. It's not a science though; it's an art and everybody's different. But...that probably gives you at least nine days to do a novena. Since today is the feast of St. Joseph, I suggest one that will implore St. Jospeh (patron of fathers and patron of pregnant women). Here's one I love:
Holy Saint Joseph,
spouse of Mary,
be mindful of us, pray for us, watch over us.
Guardian of the paradise of the new Adam,
provide for our temporal wants.
Faithful guardian of the most precious of all treasures, we beseech thee to bring this imatter to a happy end if it be for the glory of God and the good of our souls.
Amen.
__________________
Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Should we have another baby?
