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*Lindsey*
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| Posted: April 22 2010 at 3:06pm | IP Logged
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DS (6.5) and DD (4.5) seem to be at it constantly. Over everything, over nothing. DS is usually the instigator.
He LOVES to aggravate her (he told me it's fun) and she screams (so shrill) or cries/lashes out at him by hitting. I've seperated them, made them sit on the couch and hold hands, given time-outs, made him write sentences (just tried this once after a looong morning of him pestering her), spanked him, etc. I am hoping for some suggestions on a consistent consequence I can implement for him when he is teasing/pestering her endlessly. I am getting angry over this daily occurance and I'm hoping that if I can implement a consequence that I don't have to think about it will help me not lose my cool.
I am also wondering if this is normal behavior for the oldest child (the pestering), especially boys, or if it's just mine. 
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Lindsey
Mama to DS (11), DD(9), twin dds(7), DD (5), DS (4), DS (3), and 5 angels in heaven.
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Kathryn
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| Posted: April 22 2010 at 4:43pm | IP Logged
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My 9 1/2 year old son pesters his 2 1/2 year old sister! Sometimes I say it's like leaving 2 two year olds together! Well, that's a whole other issue. From my side, I think some of it is boy related and some of it is immaturity. He just doesn't know how to respond to her the same way as her older sister. Soo, that's not much help I know and your son is younger so I don't have any words of wisdom to help dad-to-day.
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Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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Maddie
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| Posted: April 22 2010 at 7:03pm | IP Logged
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 My ds does this too, a little bit of teasing doesn't bother me, my 4yo dd needs a little toughening up, she does whine about everything...I try to teach her to ignore it, deal with it, even give it back! But, when he is overdoing it, one other option I use is work. He teases his sister after being warned to leave her alone, fine, unload the dishwasher. He does it again, sweep the floor, wipe the stairs, vacuum the living room, etc...He gets the point for a day or two anyway. 
Yes, I think it is a boy thing.
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knowloveserve
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| Posted: April 22 2010 at 7:22pm | IP Logged
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When one of my son causes infractions against the other, he has to do his chores for the day.
One is punished, the other feels justified.
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Ellie
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: April 23 2010 at 6:45am | IP Logged
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Besides consequences for the instagator, you might talk to the victim about her reaction. When my ds would tease my dd I taught her to say "I love you too" and walk away, or just ignore it. It was REALLY difficult for her and she often failed, but when she could bring herself to do that consistantly, her brother left her alone. As you said, he seems to enjoy her response. Take away the response (and add the negative consequence of a chore) and it might help.
The other part of this is that it helps your dd to understand that she doesn't have to be a "victim". She can have some control in the situation that doesn't involve screaming.
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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*Lindsey*
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| Posted: April 23 2010 at 9:28am | IP Logged
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I've been working with DD on her reaction, b/c not only does DS enjoy it, it kills my ears/head! Why is screaming such a natural thing for little girls?!
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Lindsey
Mama to DS (11), DD(9), twin dds(7), DD (5), DS (4), DS (3), and 5 angels in heaven.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 23 2010 at 11:00am | IP Logged
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I like having them stand with their nose on the wall. For something that will likely need to be repeated multiple times a day.. it's more "painful" to the child than it is to me. I can put them whereever works for me at the time. They're not sitting comfy somewhere, they aren't alone doing self-talk to convince themselves they're the victim, and they're not doing something I have to stand over them and make happen.
And that makes it easy for mom to catch them early and often.
And then you can add in other things as a matter of course. If you do any copy writing for school.. you can use things about how to treat others. You can use stories that show people treating each other well. You can use stories that show someone not treating another well and the consequences of that. etc.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Consequences for sibling quibbling?
