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Kyra
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| Posted: April 16 2010 at 1:20pm | IP Logged
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What are your strategies for coping during the first month or two after you've had a baby? I'm an only child, and have just had our second, and we've been managing very well so far, mostly due to my husband's taking a month off. I realise I have no practical experience in managing two kids, and am a little worried about back-to-work time. I don't know how to do naptime and storytime and bedtime and all the toddler routine things with a very little baby who might need me at any minute. Any suggestions?
Also, more generally, what do you do to manage sleep loss, newborns needing constant walking, exhaustion, postpartum problems? Mealtime? Schedules?
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 16 2010 at 1:26pm | IP Logged
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First, take a deep breath and relax. Having to wait on a sibling needing mom hasn't killed anyone yet. 
And that little baby is getting bigger every minute and will start to be easier.. being a bit bigger they'll start to sleep better and longer and entertain themselves etc.
Wear the baby.. I've nursed many babies while reading to others snuggled up around me.
naptime can be done and you could even get a nap yourself if you just make a room toddler safe and make a comfy spot for you and the baby on the floor in front of the door so the toddler can't escape.
But mostly, while there can be little tricks here and there.. a lot of it will be trial and error with your particular family schedules and personalities.. Just be nice to yourself and know that you will likely have to try different things to find something that will work.
Oh and a baby swing can substitute for walking for some babies.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Bethany
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| Posted: April 16 2010 at 2:02pm | IP Logged
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Well, my 5th is 3 weeks old today! This was my first week alone, since DH went back to work. I agree with Jodie, at some time, someone will cry or have to wait and they will survive. There is only one Mom and that's just the way it is. One thing I didn't do until I had number four is have the infant sleep in the room with me. With my first, I just couldn't sleep with all the baby noises. Now, it doesn't bother me at all and I actually have been better rested for the last two than I ever was with the first three. Trying to get an infant back in a crib at 3 in the morning is no cake walk  .
I also wear the baby a lot, although this time it's really making me hot! So I do use the baby swing or the little vibrating infant seat that is low to the ground. Fortunately, I also have a 7 yo who is usually happy to sit on the couch and hold the baby.
I do remember that having the second and third were the hardest. My first two are only 16 months apart, so I was still having to carry my oldest a lot. As far as bath time, I put the baby in the little bouncy seat in the bathroom with us (or me if I'm taking a shower) and as soon as my second could sit up she was in the tub with my oldest.
Luckily, my second loved the baby swing and that allowed me to fix meals and such. How old is your toddler? My first was still in a crib so naptime was pretty easy, we just stayed with the same routine.
Like Jodie said, take a deep breath. You will manage. It may not be the way you envisioned, but it will be OK.
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Bethany
Wife to Mike, Mommy to Amelia (6/02), Sarah (10/03), Martha Grace (10/05), Rebecca Anne (12/07), Laura Catherine (3/10) and Reed Michael 7/4/14.
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Kyra
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| Posted: April 16 2010 at 2:16pm | IP Logged
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1 to 2 is actually an easier adjustment than none to 1 for us- we already know more or less what to expect. We're cosleeping right now, although I might transition to a crib in the next few weeks because my husband sleeps pretty badly when we're cosleeping. It's for Mom's survival, since I'm up every hour or so. :D
We've got a baby bjorn, and I think I'll get a mei tai for inside the house. Right now (unfortunately) our 3 week old wants walking when he's going through night fussy time, and he wants to be able to stare at the ceiling. No carrier, just arms.
I'm doing lots of one-armed toddler cuddling and reading, but we're going to have to work out bathtime and night cuddle-time routines that permit babywearing- right now the three of us wouldn't fit in the rocker.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Coping in the first month?
