Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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JennGM
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Posted: April 09 2010 at 9:32am | IP Logged Quote JennGM

As I was reading this thread on Sally Clarkson recommendations I realized I must read differently than other moms. Or am I?

I have never been drawn much to the explicitly "mother nurture" books out there. The ones written from another faith view take a lot more work for me to sift through and apply to my life as a Catholic. I can't always understand the perspective, and so the books are soon discarded.

Some of the Catholic ones, while easier to read, are short-lived, read once books.

I realized my nurturing books fall into several categories, not strictly directed at "Mom":

1) Marriage books
2) Parenting
3) Home Organization
3) Home Education
4) Liturgical Year living
5) Spiritual Reading

And except for Home Organization, I tend to gravitate to mostly Catholic authors. That isn't to say I don't read other authors, I'm just seeing what I gravitate to, and what titles I keep returning.

It's really #5 that really help nurture. I do find that if I have the interior peace of soul and direction, everything else falls into place. And I think that's what is different about the Catholic books, that they fall a little under spiritual advice, how to see and work on faults, working with the sacraments and other gifts from the Church.

From the other thread, Catholic titles for women:

MicheleQ wrote:
lovebeingamom wrote:
Do you have any Catholic recommendations????


Kimberly Hahn's Chosen and Cherished and Graced and Gifted.

Courageous Women
Courageous Love
Courageous Virtue
Courageous Generosity
Woman of Grace

Holiness for Housewives

Covenanted Happiness HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

Full of Grace: Women and the Abundant Life

The Privilege of Being a Woman


SuzanneG wrote:
And, I was just thinking of this thread the other day:
Catholic Women's "Must Reads". There are many GREAT books in that thread!

And, here are a couple other Catholic authors:
:: Danielle Bean
:: Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle
:: Lisa Hendley
:: Suzie Lloyd


Out of the lists above, Covenanted Happiness, Holiness for Housewives, and the Privilege of Being a Woman are my favorites.

I thought I would add a few more that have made such an impression.

The von Hildebrands
Man, Woman, and the Meaning of Love: God's Plan for Love, Marriage, Intimacy, and the Family

And I see Alice von Hildebrand has written a new book Man and Woman: A Divine Invention

Ronda Chervin:
She has written or edited several books directed at women,

Woman to Woman, Ignatius Press, 1988

Treasure of Women Saints, Servant 1991.

Mother Mary Francis:
Although a Poor Clare nun, I find Mother Mary Francis' writings speak universally to understanding human nature, especially the woman's heart.

But I Have Called You Friends: Reflections on the Art of Christian Friendship

This is a short book on Christian Friendship. It was a series of talks she gave to her sisters, but the principles apply universally. It's really, really beautiful. It's been a few years and I picked it up last night and realized I should read it again. I was thinking how this kind of book is needed when the word "friend" is tossed around so much in the online community.

Teresa of Avila and Therese Lisieux and Edith Stein
And with that theme of women religious being so nurturing, even though I'm a mom, I just love the autobiographies of St. Teresa of Avila and St. Therese the Little Flower.

My favorite book, derived from the Little Way, I Believe in Love: A Personal Retreat Based on the Teaching of St. Therese of Lisieux

I just recently read Searching for and Maintaining Peace: A Small Treatise on Peace of Heart which a concise and abbreviated form of "I Believe in Love" in my humble opinion. (I just have to highly recommend all the books by Jacques Philippe.)

Essays On Woman (The Collected Works of Edith Stein)

Some OOP Titles:
And I thought I'd throw in a few long OOP books that are enjoyable to read and nurture the Mommy Soul:

Sixpence in Her Shoe by Phyllis McGinley. Humorous and enjoyable. There are many copies readily available for cheap. This book breaks from the "spiritual advice" type and is just plain enjoyable.

Guide for the Christian Homemaker by Theresa Mueller

Holy Housewifery: A Do-It-Yourself Guide by Ethel Marbach (later Ethel Pochocki).

Further Branching Out:
And I have to admit I have enjoyed almost every book that Scepter Press prints on Marriage and Family. Some of the more scholarly are harder to read, but I haven't really been disappointed over the years. Bishop Sheen's book on marriage is a classic, James Stenson's books on parenting are marvelous, etc, etc....

========

So, after this long soliloquy, I'm wondering what are the books that motivate you? That stir you to change and yet maintain peace in your vocation? What are your reading habits?


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Posted: April 09 2010 at 10:20am | IP Logged Quote hylabrook1

Like Jenn, I read from several broader categories:
Homemaking, Organizing, Simple Living - both the ideas behind these topics (things like Edith Schaeffer's The Hidden Art of Homemaking, as well as Cheryl Mendelson's Home Comforts)

Spiritual - both about womanhood and general spiritual reading;

Light Novels - for fun. These I mostly read before bed (when I'm too tired to think about bigger ideas, or when sitting in waiting rooms)

History books - fortunately for me, a couple of my children are/were History majors, so they are always ready with recommendations, and I am fascinated by History, especially things about daily life and about legal history. (Hopeless nerd speaking )

Typically I have four or five books going at the same time, so that I always have something to pick up, whatever the mood or need of the moment calls for.

Peace,
Nancy

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 11:04am | IP Logged Quote JennGM

Oh, good thinking, Nancy! I realize I didn't include all my categories. As far as fiction, I rarely read it, but do occasionally. Most of it is by dead people.

I love history, too, Nancy. That was my major and I'm nerdy that way!

And of course, all the how-to books (I think they fit into the household books, right?). Like all those watercolor, art, knitting, cookbooks, gardening, nature, and MUSIC, etc.

Edith Schaeffer's book is a perfect example for me. At first when it was recommended, I didn't realize she wasn't Catholic, and I couldn't understand some of the things she was saying. It wasn't until I realized that it wasn't from a Catholic perspective that things started to make sense. But perhaps it was the initial confusion that made me not warm up to the book.

But in that same genre, a Catholic look would be Thomas Howard's Splendor in the Ordinary: Your Home as a Holy Place and these two pamphlets by Janet Kalven really motivated me (BTW, she turned 180 degrees later, so I don't recommend anything else by her).

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 12:16pm | IP Logged Quote Bridget

JennGM wrote:


But in that same genre, a Catholic look would be Thomas Howard's Splendor in the Ordinary: Your Home as a Holy Place


How have I missed this one?! I like Thomas Howard's writing very much. Thanks for mentioning it Jenn!

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 1:21pm | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

For wedding shower gifts, I give Home Comforts, Edith Schaeffer's book, and Splendor in the Ordinary It makes a great set!

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 1:38pm | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc

Jenn, I almost didn't read this topic because I assumed that what I read wouldn't fit into the usual "mom reads." But WOW, what a surprise to see these thoughts and recommendations!

For the past few years I've only been reading spiritual books by Catholic authors. I'm not sure why or when the other topics/authors dropped of, and maybe they'll return, but as of late I'm reading or hope to read...

FOR PONDERING:

Diary of Saint Maria Foustina Kowalska
True Devotion to Mary
The Practice of the Presence of God
God Alone Suffices
Dark Night of the Soul
Jesus, Our Eucharistic Love
Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence
Fire Within
Jesus of Nazareth by Pope Benedict

TO DO:

The Divine Office for Dodos
Preparation for Total Consecration according to St. Louis marie de Montfort
A Modern Guide to Indulgences
The Way of the Cross

JennGM wrote:

I have never been drawn much to the explicitly "mother nurture" books out there. The ones written from another faith view take a lot more work for me to sift through and apply to my life as a Catholic.


I always just chalked my lack of interest in the genre you describe above as my lack of sentimentality. Believe me, I don't pride myself in this lacking - and am trying to be better about it...ummmmmmm...be a bit more sensitive and pretty, a little less practical and more practical .

So to answer your questions, THESE, and their like, are the books that motivate me, change me, and help me to keep my peace and truly ENJOY my vocation.

(I have been watching a few sentimental, sensitive, and pretty movies lately - just felt the need to mention that .)

Love,

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 1:51pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

Angie Mc wrote:
JennGM wrote:

I have never been drawn much to the explicitly "mother nurture" books out there. The ones written from another faith view take a lot more work for me to sift through and apply to my life as a Catholic.


I always just chalked my lack of interest in the genre you describe above as my lack of sentimentality. Believe me, I don't pride myself in this lacking - and am trying to be better about it...ummmmmmm...be a bit more sensitive and pretty, a little less practical and more practical .

So to answer your questions, THESE, and their like, are the books that motivate me, change me, and help me to keep my peace and truly ENJOY my vocation.


Oh, a kindred spirit! I was worried that my post wouldn't even make sense. Love your list!

I never thought of myself as lacking sentimentality, but maybe I need to unpack a definition of sentimentality. You may be on to something for me to understand myself better!

The typical mother nurture seems to play more on emotions. Is that what you consider sentimentalism? While I run the gamut of emotions, I don't need something that to focus on it, but more of something to help me recognize emotions and feelings as that and base my life more firmly on Truth and Charity.

Not that emotions are wrong -- I just don't want them to go in the front seat for making decisions and such. Does that make any sense?

So, can you clarify what sentimental means to you, Angie?

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 1:51pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

I don't even know

I don't have the money to keep running out and buying books and I don't have much access to library books of any of these types.

I'm pregnant, I'm tired.. honestly looking at some of those titles (should I let you guess which? don't bother.. you can figure it's all of them) I can't see myself being able to read more than a paragraph without losing the train of thought. I can read stories much more readily when I'm feeling like this.

I've loved the books:
Don't Drink the Holy Water
Bless Me Father for I have Kids

Short one chapter stories. Funny.. oh how wonderful laughter can be when you're tired and maybe frustrated.. and yes in a round about way, encouraging too.

I really enjoyed Kimberly Valentine's books.. they expose me to some types of Catholic thought in a way that's easy to read.. and when you don't have any fall back on "this is the way Catholic families did things when I was growing up".. well it's nice to "see" even fictional families being Catholic.

I actually went looking for a book *for me*.. at Amazon, bunch of books I have listed like those above, and couldn't get excited about any of them. I figure that's not a good time to spend money on any of them.. but how I'd like a good book to read for me.

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 1:59pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

JodieLyn wrote:
I'm pregnant, I'm tired.. honestly looking at some of those titles (should I let you guess which? don't bother.. you can figure it's all of them) I can't see myself being able to read more than a paragraph without losing the train of thought. I can read stories much more readily when I'm feeling like this.

I've loved the books:
Don't Drink the Holy Water
Bless Me Father for I have Kids

Short one chapter stories. Funny.. oh how wonderful laughter can be when you're tired and maybe frustrated.. and yes in a round about way, encouraging too.


If you can afford $4.00 or so, I recommend "Sixpence in Her Shoe". It fits that genre, but written in the 60s. Delightful.

I totally know what you mean, Jodie. My pregnant reading takes on an entirely different approach. Can I admit I kept Susan's books as bathroom reading for those little snatches of time?

I think lives of the saints are good to just "see" how to live when I can't think too straight.

Mary Ann Kuharski has "Raising Catholic Children" which also was enjoyable and easy-to-read.

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 2:20pm | IP Logged Quote MichelleW

When I need "nurturing" I reach for anything by Henri Nouwen. I just finished "Reaching Out/The Mirror." I just discovered that practicing solitude is the most nourishing thing I can do for myself and my family, and this book really helped me with that.

All his books resonate with me and encourage me.

That's as "Mother Nurture" as I get...

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 2:21pm | IP Logged Quote JaysFamily

I don't usually like to read spiritual books, but I recommend Anthony DeStefano's Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To: Divine Answers to Life's Most Difficult Problems.
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Posted: April 09 2010 at 2:59pm | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc

JennGM wrote:
So, can you clarify what sentimental means to you, Angie?


Mushy? Sugar sweet? Playing on emotion? Sappy?

–adjective
1.expressive of or appealing to sentiment, esp. the tender emotions and feelings, as love, pity, or nostalgia: a sentimental song.
2.pertaining to or dependent on sentiment: We kept the old photograph for purely sentimental reasons.
3.weakly emotional; mawkishly susceptible or tender: the sentimental Victorians.
4.characterized by or showing sentiment or refined feeling.

Now, I need to be careful here. I'm not calling any particular books/authors sentimental or even saying that sentimentalism doesn't have a place. I'm owning that when I try to read some books, I either feel stirred in a way that is manipulative or fleeting and/or I feel, well, practical to a fault, jaded, or cynical. Needless to say, these reading experiences aren't nurturing to me - they bring out in me reactions that I'm trying to avoid. Interestingly, I become more tender and in touch with my emotions (a good thing) when I'm guided via challenging thoughts...thoughts of the saints, the Church. I'm finding this hard to explain! Let me try again...I become more tender/sensitive/loving after I read something that challenges me and helps me to break down my own prideful thoughts. Reading St. Faustina, for example, touches my heart in a way that is so fresh, so ah ha, soooo real. I connect - I get it (well, not at her level, but in my little way.)

Am I getting close, Jenn?

Love,

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 3:12pm | IP Logged Quote Bridget

I think I understand what Jenn and Angie are saying about sentimentality. I am surely more on the pragmatic side myself.

With very limited funds, my favorite nurturing reads are mainly other moms on the internet (4 real moms come to mind ) and the Bible. I also like Ginny Seuffert's blend of practicality and stalwart faith. Her writings are here in the Seton newsletters. I'm not sure what that says about my intellectual abilities that some of favorite nurturing reading is in a newsletter... But reading her always makes me feel more confident, relaxed and motivated about mothering and homeschooling.

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 3:16pm | IP Logged Quote DominaCaeli

JennGM wrote:
I have never been drawn much to the explicitly "mother nurture" books out there. The ones written from another faith view take a lot more work for me to sift through and apply to my life as a Catholic. I can't always understand the perspective, and so the books are soon discarded.

Some of the Catholic ones, while easier to read, are short-lived, read once books.


This describes me exactly, Jenn.

And my list of categories for mother-nurture reading looks very similar to yours. I do like to read a mix of fiction and essays in my free time (that's my "light" reading, even those works that wouldn't typically be called "light"). But when I'm looking for a book to inspire me in my vocation, I usually gravitate toward spiritual reading and educational philosophy. I feel like those are the books that help me be (or at least *want* to be ) a better Catholic, wife, and mother.

Besides those mentioned (especially Splendor in the Ordinary and Holiness for Housewives, two of my very favorites), I would recommend The Christian Home by Fr. Celestine Straub (written in the 30's, but reprinted by Angelus Press in the 90's). I particularly enjoy books about Catholic home life during the first half of the 20th century--they appeal to my traditional affinities and are surprisingly more similar to the kind of home life we live than the more modern books on family life. I often snoop around Google Books for OOP treasures in that category.

JennGM wrote:
If you can afford $4.00 or so, I recommend "Sixpence in Her Shoe". It fits that genre, but written in the 60s. Delightful.


I agree! A really fun--and funny--one.

AngieMc wrote:
Now, I need to be careful here. I'm not calling any particular books/authors sentimental or even saying that sentimentalism doesn't have a place. I'm owning that when I try to read some books, I either feel stirred in a way that is manipulative or fleeting and/or I feel, well, practical to a fault, jaded, or cynical. Needless to say, these reading experiences aren't nurturing to me - they bring out in me reactions that I'm trying to avoid. Interestingly, I become more tender and in touch with my emotions (a good thing) when I'm guided via challenging thoughts...thoughts of the saints, the Church. I'm finding this hard to explain! Let me try again...I become more tender/sensitive/loving after I read something that challenges me and helps me to break down my own prideful thoughts. Reading St. Faustina, for example, touches my heart in a way that is so fresh, so ah ha, soooo real. I connect - I get it (well, not to her level, but in my little way.)


This is definitely me too, Angie. I'm not a big fan of sappy (though I definitely like a good chick flick now and then!). I don't feel like it "nurtures" me in the sense of inspiring me or helping me to grow in my vocation. It often feels like books in that vein are molding me to be more emotional than I need to be or than comes naturally to me. I get so much more out of the lives and writings of the saints, which I feel really pierce my soul, making me aware of my faults, inspiring me to virtue. The connection that you mention is my experience too--it feels like a genuine connection, a real connection, rather than one that is contrived. Part of it is my temperament, I'm sure.

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 6:21pm | IP Logged Quote Maryan

Hmm... I'm pretty sappy, but I'm beginning to think I don't read mother nurture books - sappy or not. My list of books this year is looking like something a male would read:

The Lord - Guardini
Life of Christ - Sheen
Conversations with God - Fernandez

Non-religious:
Cheating Death - Marrett (Vietnam War book)
Two books by Tony Dungy
Count of Monte Cristo (abridged) - Dumas
House of Seven Gables - Hawthorne

Currently reading:
Consoling Heart of Jesus - Brother Michael Gaitley
Mary Mother of the Son - Mark Shea

Have on hold at the Library:
Who Really Cares: the Surprising Truth about Compassionate Conservatism - Arthur Brooks

I think my male household is getting to me!!    I'd better go find some mother nurture books! Good thing Danielle and Elizabeth's book is due out soon!

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 6:30pm | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

One mother nurture book I LOVED which was not sappy or sentimental in the least was All For the Love of Mothers. A friend gave it to me for my birthday, and it is excellent.

I would be cautious in buying from Angelus Press (SSPX), but this book are simply the memoirs of a midwife in Germany around WWI, and I did not see anything questionable in the text.

I wasn't sure what to make of it when my friend kept recommending it to everyone. It seemed mildly interesting, but I didn't expect to find it so gripping and so not just about a woman delivering babies.

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 6:49pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

It's heartening to realize I'm not alone.

AngieMc wrote:
JennGM wrote:
So, can you clarify what sentimental means to you, Angie?

Mushy? Sugar sweet? Playing on emotion? Sappy?

–adjective
1.expressive of or appealing to sentiment, esp. the tender emotions and feelings, as love, pity, or nostalgia: a sentimental song.
2.pertaining to or dependent on sentiment: We kept the old photograph for purely sentimental reasons.
3.weakly emotional; mawkishly susceptible or tender: the sentimental Victorians.
4.characterized by or showing sentiment or refined feeling.

Now, I need to be careful here. I'm not calling any particular books/authors sentimental or even saying that sentimentalism doesn't have a place. I'm owning that when I try to read some books, I either feel stirred in a way that is manipulative or fleeting and/or I feel, well, practical to a fault, jaded, or cynical. Needless to say, these reading experiences aren't nurturing to me - they bring out in me reactions that I'm trying to avoid. Interestingly, I become more tender and in touch with my emotions (a good thing) when I'm guided via challenging thoughts...thoughts of the saints, the Church. I'm finding this hard to explain! Let me try again...I become more tender/sensitive/loving after I read something that challenges me and helps me to break down my own prideful thoughts. Reading St. Faustina, for example, touches my heart in a way that is so fresh, so ah ha, soooo real. I connect - I get it (well, not at her level, but in my little way.)

Am I getting close, Jenn?


Oh, that describes me to a "T". Thank you, Angie. I just never was able to nail why they didn't appeal to me. I'm not generally sappy, but I have my times (I like my tear jerker movies, believe me!) That explains so much.

Your explanation of how the deeper religious thoughts brings forth another kind of sensitivity is what I was trying to understand -- because I view myself as sentimental, but usually in that context. My cup just overflows like after our rich Holy Week.

DominaCaeli wrote:
Besides those mentioned (especially Splendor in the Ordinary and Holiness for Housewives, two of my very favorites), I would recommend The Christian Home by Fr. Celestine Straub (written in the 30's, but reprinted by Angelus Press in the 90's). I particularly enjoy books about Catholic home life during the first half of the 20th century--they appeal to my traditional affinities and are surprisingly more similar to the kind of home life we live than the more modern books on family life. I often snoop around Google Books for OOP treasures in that category.


Oh, I agree, Celeste. I do that, too. Not just Catholic books, but I find all sorts of titles on Google Books that are fascinating glimpse of days gone by. Homemaking, cooking, needlecrafts...not to live in the days of old, but getting some glimpses of a "day in the life" helps me gain perspective in mine.

Oh, and this will help your budget, Bridget! I scanned The Christian Home many years ago, and it's still online at EWTN

Another title that is very good (and I think it's been reprinted, again by Angelus) is Christ in the Home by Raoul Plus. This was another one I had scanned to share online. There are three files:

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

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Helen
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Posted: April 09 2010 at 6:52pm | IP Logged Quote Helen

Bridget wrote:
I also like Ginny Seuffert's blend of practicality and stalwart faith. Her writings are here in the Seton newsletters. I'm not sure what that says about my intellectual abilities that some of favorite nurturing reading is in a newsletter... But reading her always makes me feel more confident, relaxed and motivated about mothering and homeschooling.


I wholeheartedly agree Bridget.
Ginny Seuffert was one of the first speakers I heard at a homeschooling conference 14 years ago. I look for her articles. She's very inspiring.

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 6:57pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

It's not a newsletter, but I have really been nourished by every issue of Mater et Magistra, before it was "Heart and Mind" and it was called something else before that? Just wonderful, wonderful articles, but small enough to fill my pea sized brain sometimes.

Our own Jennifer Mackfarm had some great articles this past issue that really spoke to me about the vocation to homeschool. Kelly Roper had an article on "Domestic Monasteries" a few years ago, and there have been lots more that have really helped me. It's the one magazine I have to keep up my subscription.

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Posted: April 09 2010 at 7:07pm | IP Logged Quote Maryan

Bridget wrote:
With very limited funds, my favorite nurturing reads are mainly other moms on the internet (4 real moms come to mind ) and the Bible. I also like Ginny Seuffert's blend of practicality and stalwart faith. Her writings are here in the Seton newsletters. I'm not sure what that says about my intellectual abilities that some of favorite nurturing reading is in a newsletter....

Blogs! Of course! Phew -- I was worried that I wasn't nurturing Mommy. How did I miss that part of your comment? And, I've never heard/read Ginny Seuffert. The one on New Year's alone seemed very practical. Thanks for the link.

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