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ltlmrs
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| Posted: Jan 15 2010 at 10:41pm | IP Logged
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I hope this is the right forum to ask this in, I'm new and except for my intro, this is my first post.
How do you ladies with large families balance prudential decision making and being open to life?
[Edited to take out the personal details, which I don't want cached on the internet]
These thoughts began when I stumbled upon this marvelous blog and the amazing story of God's grace at work in this woman's life: <a href=http://www.conversiondiary.com/search/label/Family%20Si ze?max-results=200>http://www.conversiondiary.com/search/ label/Family%20Size?max-results=200</a>
Any thoughts? Suggestions for prayers/novenas/patron saints?
Thank you!
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 16 2010 at 12:06am | IP Logged
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In the end this will simply come down to a purdential decision made between yourself and your husband and God.
So the best advice is pray, pray, and pray some more.
I can tell you that it can be a very difficult time. And sometimes difficulties that you think may be years will resolve in some way by the next month.
And I have some interesting stories about how it wasn't until I was pregnant again that things happened to help us. Like the house we were able to rent for the same price as our 2 bedroom apt. that we only found through my midwife.. we'd moved so this was a new midwife.. if I hadn't been pregnant we wouldn't have had that opportunity. That same pregnancy my dh got a temporary promotion which basically meant he was doing a higher level of work for higher pay for several months. And it was with the very next pregnancy that he was offered a job in a much better for us area.. where we have a wonderful church and were able to buy our own home.
There is only one caution to make in what you said. There can be laws/regulations in place that only allow you to have 2 people per room in an apartment and you can't have children of opposite sex share the same room past a certain age (may be different depending on location.. where we were it was age 5) Which is why when I was pregnant with our 3rd child.. it was such a huge thing that we were able to get a house.. once she turned one we couldn't have stayed in the 2 bedroom apt.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 16 2010 at 3:07am | IP Logged
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Oh Maria, I had to come back because I just realized you may be doing something that I have to catch myself at..
One of the lovely benefits of NFP is that you only make the decision for THIS MONTH. Just because you decide that finances aren't good doesn't mean you have to decide to postpone getting pregnant until some nebulous way off in the future date.. you have a chance every single month to say yay or nay.
Our society is very big on knowing even before you get married.. how many kids you want and how close together they should be etc etc. But that's only one way to think about it.. there is no reason at all you have to decide today how many children you're going to have in the next 20 years, or how to space them. 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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mathmama
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| Posted: Jan 16 2010 at 6:01am | IP Logged
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I think Jodie has the best advice and that is to pray. You have no idea what your situation will be in 9 months, but God does. We need to pray and be open to what He is telling us. I do believe there are times he is telling us to wait and times he is telling us to trust and do something that at the time seems somewhat absurd. My 2.5yo, Anna Mary, has many food allergies. It takes a lot of work just to feed her. Until she was about 2yo she would wake about a dozen times most nights (some nights were even worse). I was at my wit's end. I never slept for more than 2 hours at a time and had not a moment to myself. It wasn't the lack of sleep so much as my body seemed to get used to it somewhat, but it was the lack of down time that really made me think I was going to lose my mind. Dh and I wanted more children, but couldn't see how another child would fit into this situation. We prayed and felt called to letting God decide when we would have another child. We weren't trying or not trying to conceive. God knew what our situation would be in 9mos even though we could only see what was happening in the moment. Anna Mary was still nursing and I decided to try an elimination diet again to see if it would help our situation. I decided to start it on Feb 4 and on Feb 2 I found out I was expecting. I went ahead with the elimination diet and things started to improve after about a month. By June Anna Mary was sleeping through the night or only waking once every night  I never could have imagined such great results! So, my point is, God knows what your situation will be in the future. Our job is to pray and listen to Him and trust in His Will.
Prayers for you and your family 
__________________
Beth, wife to Tom and mommy to 4 beautiful girls:
Therese 11/04
Anna Mary 6/07
Veronica 10/09
Theodora 11/12
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ltlmrs
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| Posted: Jan 16 2010 at 8:18am | IP Logged
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Thanks Jodie and Beth! These are some great thoughts. And Jody, thanks for the link, still trying to figure out the forums :)
I'm actually to the point, Beth, of trying the elimination diet with her or even going as far as the GAPS diet for both of us.
Jodie, thank you for the reminder that it's a month to month decision! Both of your stories are so inspiring!
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Chris V
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| Posted: Jan 16 2010 at 9:35am | IP Logged
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Hi Maria, I'm glad that you're here!
My story isn't exactly like yours, but I just wanted to share, as with Jodie and Beth, just how gracious and good our Lord is.
My husband and I graduated from college, got married, bought a house, and settled into our career lives all within the same year. After working a year, I thought I was ready to have kids, but my husband wasn't ready yet (for himself) and was worried that, after working so very hard to earn my college degree, would feel regret later in life for not having used my career skills "to my full potential". So we waited, and waited, and waited. I didn't talk to God much through these years, just focused on myself...my career. After 7 years of marriage, my heart started to ache. My husband was still unsure about kids. There were a number of issues he had with having kids at the time, all of which seem silly now, but at the time, these were his sincere concerns. He and I both decided it was time to start talking to God about it all. Our conversations with God went on for several months, and still our hearts were not sure of what God was telling us.
Then, one day, I woke up, went to work as usual, but I knew something was different. Little did I know that that was the day that I was to find out that I was going to be a Mom  . That's how God answered us. He just *did* it  . My husband and I cried together that day, knowing that He had taken care of our decision and changed our path in life forever.
I pray for you and I know that God will lead you and your husband on your journey as well.
*p.s. I have many friends who have had great success with the GAPS diet*
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Chris
Happy Wife with my Happy Life
Mama to My Five Girls ('04~'07~'09~'11~'11) 
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: Jan 16 2010 at 12:24pm | IP Logged
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Just want to say that I love Jen @ Conversion Diary, too!!
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Barbara
Mom to "spirited" dd(9), "spunky" dd (6), "sincere" dd (3), "sweet" dd (2), and baby girl #5 born 8/1/12!!
Box of Chocolates
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ltlmrs
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| Posted: Jan 16 2010 at 4:30pm | IP Logged
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Chris V wrote:
| I didn't talk to God much through these years, just focused on myself...my career. |
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Actually, that's more like me than you think! I was like this before I met my husband: determined to do a PhD and have an academic career. I lived in DC for a while and it was so easy to get caught up in the whole "career" thing there, when I returned to my hometown and met my husband, it all went out the window quickly enough. Now that I have Ladybug, I can't imagine being in academia now. I am looking forward to homeschooling though!
*p.s. I have many friends who have had great success with the GAPS diet*
Thanks for that! I'm hesitant because it is so hard. But, the last several nights Ladybug has been waking up every 45 minutes again and there has to be a reason.
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ltlmrs
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| Posted: Jan 16 2010 at 4:31pm | IP Logged
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Barbara C. wrote:
| Just want to say that I love Jen @ Conversion Diary, too!! |
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She is pretty awesome and reminds me of my own journey back to the Church!
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Prudence and being open to another child
