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I went to the Doctors today for a ultrasound (called a nuchal translucency ultrasound) and the baby had no heart beat. It seems as though the baby just passed a few days ago because Baby was measuring at 12 weeks and I am 12 weeks and a few days. I have never had a miscarriage and I don't know what to expect at all. I was given three choices, D and C, natural and allow my body to do what it needs to do, or get induced with meds.
The Doctor told me they will only give me two weeks to allow me to do this naturally. Sigh.. I have not felt too bad except some mild cramping here and there, nothing else.
I am just sad and tired and emotional. My family is devasted, especially my oldest DD's and my dear husband of course, he was very happy expecting this new arrival.
We know this is God's divine plan and I am okay with that.
Maybe I just don't even know how I should feel, but it is painful none the less  .
If anyone has any words of advice I am more than willing to listen.
This is our 6th baby, and all my other pregnancies were pretty normal. So this has come as a sad surprise.
Thank you all for reading and listening.
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Claudia in Southern California
Wife to George,
Mom to DD 14, DD 10, DD 7, DS 4, DS 2, 1 in heaven, and now due 5/11.
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JodieLyn
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Oh Claudia, I'm so very sorry. I believe there was quite a bit of advice recently for Lisbet with a simliar situation.
You're far enough along that it could be very hard on you physically. Chances of excessive bleeding and such.
I'll see if I can find some of those threads for you.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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JodieLyn
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Here's the thread on miscarriage experiences
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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12stars
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| Posted: Dec 30 2009 at 12:23am | IP Logged
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I know I did post to Lisbet in her last post, but I didn't follow at the beginning of when she started.
I hope it is okay to post about this if not you can delete it.
I am just reeling in all inforamtion possible. At the end of my visit the Doctor sent me home with nothing, no additional info, just that will call me.
Because Lisbet had said it was hard physically I am not sure what route to take, what wold be best and what of the baby's little body. I am not sure what to do as a Catholic.
When my mom had her miscarriages the babies were much older and were able to get a baptized and a funeral. I know my baby is probably to small for all that. So I am honest when I say I have no idea what is next or what is best.
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Claudia in Southern California
Wife to George,
Mom to DD 14, DD 10, DD 7, DS 4, DS 2, 1 in heaven, and now due 5/11.
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12stars
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| Posted: Dec 30 2009 at 12:24am | IP Logged
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Thank you, I did not see that thread at all.
I will start reading it thank you JodieLyn.
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Claudia in Southern California
Wife to George,
Mom to DD 14, DD 10, DD 7, DS 4, DS 2, 1 in heaven, and now due 5/11.
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folklaur
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| Posted: Dec 30 2009 at 12:47am | IP Logged
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no advice, but hugs and prayers.
i'm so sorry.
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joann10
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I am so sorry, Claudia. You and your family are in my prayers....
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JodieLyn
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oh no Claudia, it is certainly fine for you to post. The ladies here are so supportive.. I just wanted to help you get information right away.
You also should ask for prayers in the We Pray to the Lord forum. I know there's some ladies that mainly only come to that forum. But these ladies here are some of the best prayer warriors around. You should take advantage of that as much as you can.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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12stars
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Thank you so much, I really do appreciate it. I know that this is one of the forums that has been the most supportive of all of us going through different things.
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Claudia in Southern California
Wife to George,
Mom to DD 14, DD 10, DD 7, DS 4, DS 2, 1 in heaven, and now due 5/11.
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Donna
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Continuing to pray for you, Claudia
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Donna
DH, Keven
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Grandbabies Leigha and Elsie
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I am sorry Claudia.
I remember my miscarriage and I was able to pass things naturally. Physically it wasn't too bad, the hormonal stuff after was very hard. For many weeks. I had to be so gentle with myself.
My friends were very surprised I didn't have a D&C. I had a decent amount of phone contact with my midwife and we watched for excessive bleeding and all. It was nice not to have to go to the hospital. More peaceful in a sad time. But that is how I work.
Take care of yourself, let yourself mourn and cry and ask dh for a lot of help. I was very needy and "lost" some days. And dealing with ds's sadness was also hard.
I will keep you and our family in my prayers.
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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Paula in MN
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I'm sorry Claudia.
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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snowbabiesmom
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I am so sorry Claudia. I've been through this all too many times. If you can allow the baby to pass naturally, I would recommend that, if not, I 've been given Cytomel with my three second trimester losses due to loss of heartbeats, at 18, 14, and 16 weeks. The prayer here though should also include that the Placenta will detach to avoid a D& C.
You had the intent to baptize the baby, so rest assured the baby is with God. We have buried all of our children with private grave side with Father each time. They are all now resting with baby Matthew who died this summer. It is a hard cross to bear, I will pray this morning at Mass for you to feel God's peace and for your children.
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SeaStar
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Offering prayers for you- I am so sorry
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jenk
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I am so sorry and praying for you and your family.
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Jen
with 2 boys, 14 and 8, and a girl expected 1/09
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Mackfam
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Oh, Claudia! I'm so sorry! This is such a heavy, heavy Cross! I'm adding my prayers to those of the other generous ladies here for you.
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy.
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Jen Mackintosh
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Martha
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I would be happy to talk via PM, m/c is just .. very personal... even when I've had several..
I will say that every woman and even every m/c is very different.
I've had very painful difficult ones like Lisbet.
I've had others where it was so mild, I didn't even bother going in to the ob. (which is a whole other thing I never considered at the time btw!)
As for what to tell the kids...
We told them when we read in the bible that God knew us even before birth, we know it to be true in these dark moments. And to know that they are loved just the same, even before we knew them we loved them too. When people ask why we would have more kids - this is why. We haven't met the babies God might send, but we know we love them already.
Really no advice bc I don't know your medical preferences and situation. I prefered to go natural with all but one m/c, but I would never fault a woman who decided on a D&C.
Hugs and prayer to all the moms sufferring loss this christmas season.
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
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DominaCaeli
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I am so sorry, Claudia.
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Celeste
Joyous Lessons
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I am so sorry. Even when we accepted that this is God's divine plan, it is still so hard on us as moms.
I have had several mc, each has been different. One I needed a d&c after, and one I took medicine at home to speed things up, the others were natural. The pain was worse with the meds, very painful cramping, and the heavist bleeding. But that might be just my reaction to the medicine.
I know how hard it is do figure out the "right" course of action when you are in middle of it. Just try to listen to your body, and take care of yourself.
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LeeAnn
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Bookswithtea
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I'm so so sorry. I went through this in November. My first miscarriage (11 yrs ago) was a d and c, and it was not a positive experience, but I think that was mostly because I wasn't given the choice. The most recent one I had at home. I was about 9 weeks along. It was hard.
Peace be with you, and may the God of Wisdom give you the right path for your family.
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: I have never been through this before
